The Ashes Diary (3 page)

Saturday 22 June.
London. Afternoon.

Days of ordinary training feel precious to me, after all the time in rehab. One thing an injury does is stop you from taking anything for granted.

I had an early start and some treatment from Alex, before a one-hour coach ride to practice. The rain was closing in, and we hustled along to fit in as much work as possible. At our lunch break, we sat down and watched 20 minutes of the first rugby Test between the Wallabies and the British and Irish Lions in Brisbane. It was fun to take our minds off cricket, and the match was very close, but the Wallabies missed a couple of penalty goal shots in the last few minutes and didn’t get the result we all wanted.

Back at the hotel, I had some more treatment from Alex before the two of us took a good long walk in Hyde Park. We discussed how far I’d come with my improvement, and what we needed to do from here. It’s more or less a matter of walking that fine line between committing myself fully to the important cricket fixtures, but not overdoing it when I feel the warning signs. Tomorrow we’re at Lord’s, the first time on that beautiful ground, and looking forward to training well.

I have to say, it’s great to be back in action, and I can’t wait until we play in Taunton.

Saturday 22 June.
London. Night.

I don’t know if I’m going to sleep tonight. I’m in complete turmoil.

During the afternoon, I’d passed by James and Pat as they were coming in and out of meetings. They’d each said, separately, ‘We need to have a chat’, but they hadn’t set a time.

Early in the evening, my wife Kyly and I were having a drink in the bar of the team hotel, the Royal Garden in Kensington, before going out to dinner. As we were walking out, we crossed paths with James and Pat.

‘Do you guys want to see me?’ I asked.

‘Sure. How about now?’

I told them that Kyly and I had a dinner booking, but I’d be free afterwards.

‘Okay,’ James said. ‘Go to dinner and we’ll meet back here later.’

When we returned to the hotel just after 8.30 pm, Kyly went up to our room and I sat in the bar by myself. James and Pat soon came in.

Among the things I expected to talk about, one was the possibility of calling in players from outside the official Ashes squad. Mickey and I were keen on bringing in Steve Smith after his good form on the Australia A tour.

I’ve been finding it stressful lately to be both captain and selector. Until tonight, I’ve been a member of the National Selection Panel (NSP), one of the recommendations of the Argus Review in 2011. It had also recommended making the coach a part of a five-man panel. This was also the time I’d taken over the national captaincy from Ricky Ponting, so during my entire tenure as captain I’ve also been a selector.

But after the Indian tour, I wrote an email to James and Pat offering to resign as a selector. I’d grown increasingly uncomfortable with that role over the whole period. I felt being a selector was a full-time job that I couldn’t keep up with. As for players inside the team, I felt my time was better used in one-on-one chats and helping them at training, having coffee or breakfast or other off-field get-togethers with them, rather than talking about them with selectors. It can stretch the bond between me and that player when I’m part of a selection committee that might be considering his position. I can’t break selection-table confidentiality, so I have to support every decision, but on the other hand I have a personal relationship with that teammate. It’s a very complicated situation, and does nothing to build trust between the boys and me.

I thought it was a good time to get on the front foot and tell Cricket Australia I wanted to step down from the panel. However, while listening to my concerns, they didn’t accept my resignation. They said it wasn’t the right time. I accepted that, and just cracked on.

At any rate, tonight I thought we’d be talking about bringing in Smithy and various other matters. Instead, I was blind-sided.

James spoke. ‘Tomorrow we’re going to Bristol to let Mickey know that he’s no longer required as our head coach, and we’re going to offer Darren Lehmann the job.’

My head went so light that I thought I was going to fall off my stool. I was too stunned to speak. In the end, I think the first thing I said was, ‘I don’t know what to say.’ It was the last thing – the absolute last thing – I thought the meeting was going to be about.

James and Pat talked on a bit while I calmed down. We had a drink, and I tried to take it in. They know how close I am to Mickey, and how much work has gone into planning for this series.

‘We wanted you to be the first to know,’ James said. ‘So how do you feel about it? How will the team handle it?’

I wasn’t thinking about myself. I just said, ‘Mickey’s going to be shattered.’

‘How about the team?’

My concern for the team, I said, was in the timing of the decision. Did it have to be now? The First Test was starting in 18 days. Leaving aside the merits or otherwise of the decision, what kind of signal did it send to replace the coach four weeks into an England tour, 18 days before an Ashes series started?

‘Are you sure it’s the right time?’ I said. ‘We’ve done so much planning together for this series.’ And that was leaving aside what message it would send our opponents. The English would make the most of this and see it as a sign of panic, that’s for sure.

James and Pat spoke about what they thought Darren could bring to the table. I was still trying to get over the shock. They felt that the team’s results in India and now in the Champions Trophy confirmed that Mickey’s coaching style wasn’t getting the on-field results we were looking for. The off-field problems, in India and England, also didn’t seem to be getting better.

As far as I was concerned, it was ourselves, the players, who had not performed well enough in India.

‘Also,’ James said, ‘we’re happy to accept your resignation as a selector now.’

I was so shocked about Mickey, I barely even heard him.

Two hours later, I drifted up to my room, where I am now. Since I’ve been up here, the shock hasn’t worn off, and now there is guilt too. Mickey and I have been talking on the phone several times a day about the Australia A team and the possible selection of the Test squad. He has just rung me, and when I saw his number come up I didn’t take his call. I don’t want to lie to him. I know that his mother’s very sick as well, and may not live for much longer. The timing could never have been good for this decision, but it could hardly have been worse.

Mickey’s a very caring guy. A coach has to be the bad cop sometimes, and that’s what Mickey has found most difficult. He and I have complemented each other, and I see him as a kind, fatherly figure around the team, but there have been times when Cricket Australia have spoken to him about the coach’s need to be tougher on team discipline.

My head is spinning. Tomorrow I have to speak to him. I won’t be sleeping much tonight.

Sunday 23 June.
London.

I’ve spoken to Mickey this morning. He texted me as soon as he’d got the news from Pat, who drove to Bristol first thing to tell him face-to-face. I told him how terrible I felt for him, and said how much we, the players, felt for him. He, as always, is taking it stoically.

The hardest part is how I feel for him as a man. This has happened to him while his mother, who is in South Africa, is not far from passing away. I want to be there, emotionally, to support him. But I’m also part of the system that is now letting him go. He’s being very encouraging to us, and is telling me that we can win the Ashes. He really feels we’re on the cusp of great things, and he wants to see us achieve our potential. I still can’t believe he’s not going to be on this journey with us.

3

THE ASHES TOUR STARTS

Monday 24 June.
Taunton.

What a way to start the Ashes tour proper. As Pat Howard drove me from Bristol to Taunton, about a three-hour trip, I had time to let it all sink in. The thing is, I have to look ahead. People come and go, the game moves forward, and you’ve got to get on with it. It’s the same for a head coach as it is for a player. We’ve seen it with Ricky Ponting and Mike Hussey when they retired, and all the other players who get dropped. Individuals go, but those who are left have the responsibility to keep carrying the game forward. One day it’ll be me who goes. It’s brutal, but that’s just the way it is.

One of the first things I did in Bristol was to tell the team that if they wanted to talk to Mickey and say goodbye, or send him any other message, now was the time. Nearly all of them saw him personally.

While the team travelled to Taunton, I stayed in Bristol for a press conference. First up were James and Pat explaining the decision, then Mickey said his piece, and finally Darren Lehmann and me. It was quite awkward for Darren and Mickey. They have no personal vendettas against each other. They’re both very nice men, and while it was no doubt excruciating for them, they handled it in the manner I’d have expected.

While we were waiting for our press conference, Darren and I sat down and had a coffee. We had a good chat about things. He was as shocked as anybody by Mickey’s sacking, and was put on the spot when James and Pat asked him to take over. He said yes, because that’s the type of guy Boof is – always up for a challenge.

We know each other very well. He was in the Australian team when I made my Test debut on the tour of India in 2004. It was a great tour, Australia’s First Test series win in India since 1969, and I got to know Boof extremely well. I loved every minute I played with him. While Ricky Ponting and Adam Gilchrist were the captain and vice-captain, for me, as a young guy, the informal team leaders were guys like Boof, Glenn McGrath, Shane Warne, Justin Langer and Damien Martyn. I loved talking cricket with them. I dare say I’ll have a lot more time to do that with Darren now. He’s a great man. We have a lot of common themes as players. Boof was positive and aggressive, and liked facing spin bowling. He’s a big team man, as was evident in 2004 when he said publicly that if the selectors had to choose between him and a young player, all other things being equal, he would go for the younger player. I don’t know if the selectors actually did make that choice. But if they did, the younger player in question was me.

The best thing is, he has total confidence that we can win. He knows it’s going to be a tough challenge, but when I look into his eyes and say, ‘If we play our best we can win the Ashes’, I can see that he agrees with me.

I’m looking forward to having him as head coach.

Tuesday 25 June.
Taunton.

Today we had our first training session with Boof, and it went really well. When James and Pat asked me how the team would respond to the change, I suppose there was one thing that went without saying: Darren has the players’ respect. Respect is a huge thing in this group, and has been for as long as I’ve been playing. You have to earn it, but once you’ve got it, you have it unconditionally. Boof can walk into the room and he already has that respect because of how good a player he was. On top of that, a lot of the boys know him as a coach, whether at Queensland, the Brisbane Heat, or in the last few weeks with Australia A. He’s starting off with a lot of advantages.

Tonight, in a great way to inject a lighter note into what’s been an intense and dramatic few days, we had a team trivia night and dinner. Peter Brukner, our team doctor, ran it, as usual. Each person in the team and support staff had to write down a fact about themselves that nobody else would know. Those facts were then laid out alongside a list of everyone’s names. The job was to fit the facts together with the names.

We did it in pairs, and Peter paired me up with Phillip Hughes. Now, Hughesy is always copping stick from the boys because he’s from the country and they reckon he’s not exactly a pillar of academic learning. Hughesy knows a lot about cattle and cricket. And he says he may not be able to spell very well, but he’s ‘street smart’. Whenever he says that, he only gets more chuckles. But anyway, he had the last laugh tonight: Hughesy and I came out as winners. We were all in good spirits. I know he certainly is, after shutting a few people up.

I’m still reeling a bit from the Mickey thing, though. Today I got a message from him: his mother had passed away in South Africa. It’s been a heartbreaking 24 hours for him.

Nothing more I can say, but I’m going to keep supporting him as best I can.

I’ve always been able to turn to my family in difficult times, and my nephew Byron’s second birthday gave me a chance to call him, have a chat to my sister, and reconnect with their lives.

Wednesday 26 June.
Taunton.

Today is my dad’s birthday, so I gave him a call. He’s about to go into hospital for a knee replacement, so I guess he won’t be celebrating too hard.

We had an interesting day’s cricket, I guess the type of play that happens when you’re rusty and getting into shape. I lost the toss – a bad move on a ground which has just about the best batting wicket in the country and a small, fast outfield. We bowled too wide with the new ball, and let Nick Compton, who’s just learnt that he’s been dropped from the England team, take out some of his frustration. Then, through the middle of the day, we bowled too short and both sides of the stumps. It wasn’t great, and Somerset got to 2/304 by the time we were getting ready to take the second new ball.

James Faulkner got a breakthrough in the last over with the old ball, and then Mitchell Starc and Jimmy Pattinson got it totally right, and showed what a destructive force they can be when they get on a roll. In six overs with the second new ball, they took seven wickets for ten runs. It’s a great feeling in the field when the wickets tumble like this, and we walked off on a bit of a high after turning a pretty ordinary day into a good one.

But the lessons remain to be learnt. When the sun’s out, we have to attack the stumps early. Later, when the ball gets old and batting gets easier, we have to bowl with more discipline and apply pressure. And then, when things turn our way, we have to cash in.

Thursday 27 June.
Taunton.

We’ve had a good day’s batting, albeit shortened by some light but persistent rain that kept us off the field in the afternoon. For me, it’s hard to believe, but this has been my first bat on tour. We’ve been here a month, and finally I’ve padded up and faced opposition bowlers in a match situation.

The funny thing is, even after nine years as an international cricketer, I get just as nervous going in to bat in a game like this as in a Test match. Even if it’s club cricket for Western Suburbs in Sydney, I’m still like a cat on a hot tin roof while I’m waiting to bat. I can’t sit down, and pace back and forth in the dressing room, listening to music on my iPod. When I go out into the middle, I’m so tense all I want to do is get off the mark. I wish I wasn’t like this, but I am. It’s not going to change now. I guess if I’m serious, I have to acknowledge that my nerves are a measure of my hunger to score runs, and my excitement to be in a cricket match. It’s no different now from when I was a kid. And if it fades away, maybe that’s when I should be thinking of a new career. Right now, because of the enforced lay-off and all the physio treatment, my excitement is as high as it’s ever been.

I just wanted to play solidly, and more or less achieved that with 45 runs in two hours before I nicked one. All in all, a pretty satisfying knock.

The batting highlight was Watto’s 90 at the top of the order. I batted with him for about 15 overs and he was hitting the ball as hard as ever. Watto going back to the opening slot has been getting a lot of press, since Boof announced the move before this game. It’s been well documented for about a year that Watto has wanted to open the batting for Australia. This has made it hard for Ed Cowan and David Warner, who became the openers in 2011–12 while Watto was out with an injury. When he came back into the team, Ed and David were going so well that Watto had to slot in at number four. He hasn’t had a great run there, and everyone knows, when they look at his figures, that his biggest impact as a Test batsman has been when he’s played against the new ball – as he does in one-day and Twenty20 cricket.

What’s confused people a bit is that Darren Lehmann was the one who told the media, during the practice match in Somerset that Watto would be opening the batting in the Test matches. They then ran with the story that Boof had come in and decided to give Watto what he’d been asking for.

This wasn’t the case. Now that I’m not a selector, the NSP will give me a team at Trent Bridge in the lead-up to 10 July and
I’ll
decide who bats where. Since I’ve played for Australia, the captain has always chosen the batting order. On the matter of Watto individually, over the past three months Mickey and I have had a lot of communication with him. I’ve talked to Watto, and other players, about the roles I see them playing in the Ashes series, and they’ve talked to us about what they want. This has been an ongoing process, and Darren has slipped into that smoothly. We’ve had ideas for a while that Watto might be the best guy to start the Ashes series opening the batting, but also, the best batting order is going to vary with the conditions in each innings, so it’s something we’ll be constantly working on.

Friday 28 June.
Taunton.

Everything on the field went pretty much to plan today. Phillip Hughes batted extremely well to make 76 not out. For a guy who’s played most of his cricket as an opener, he has adapted brilliantly to batting in the Australian team at number three and now, potentially, in the middle order.

Our goal was to get past Somerset’s total quickly and declare, then bowl to try to force a result. It’s not that there are any first-innings points at stake, but you always like to get that ‘win’.

With the ball, Jimmy Pattinson and Mitchell Starc led the way, and Nathan Lyon bowled pretty well to take three wickets. We got Somerset out for 260, leaving ourselves eight overs plus a day to run down that total. I feel that it’s important to balance the need of individual players to get practice and push for a Test place against the wish to win the match. Ed Cowan and Usman Khawaja, who didn’t get much batting in the first innings, have opened, while Watto will take a rest and come in later if needed. We’d all really like a win, not having won a match since before the tour of India. It would be a nice way to top the game off tomorrow.

At home, Dad’s just come out of knee replacement surgery. We’ve been on the phone, and he sounds like he’s in a bit of pain, but the doctors have said the operation seems to have gone well. I hope I’m not looking at my own future there.

Saturday 29 June.
Worcester.

It was a boost, and also a relief, to get out of Taunton with a fairly comfortable six-wicket win. It doesn’t matter who the opposition is, if it’s first-class cricket, chasing down a decent fourth-innings total is a challenge. Ed, Usman and Hughesy all played well at the top, I had another bat and made 26, and then Brad Haddin went out and tidied things up with a quick half-century.

What pleased me most was that everyone played a part in the win. All the batsmen got some runs and the bowlers did well. Our attitude and intent were outstanding, playing to win and attacking to take wickets. All in all, it was a very good performance.

Straight after the game, we had a two-hour bus ride to Worcester. There was a good feeling in the group, some beers flowing on the bus to celebrate our first win.

Tonight we’re all going out in Worcester as a team. As I said after the business in Birmingham, I’m all for celebrating, but a drink tastes a lot better when you’ve had a win.

Sunday 30 June.
Worcester.

As feared, my inbox was chockers, with 60 unanswered emails. I’ve had to spend the day calling family and friends, catching up on everything I missed while we were in Taunton. Luckily, Boof has given us a compulsory day off. Even the biggest cricket obsessives in the team were ordered not to practise. No training, no work, and that goes for the support staff too.

I slept in until 8 o’clock, which is a big sleep for me. A few of the boys are tired after indulging last night, and most of us are just chilling around the hotel. A handful of the boys are going to the Formula 1 Grand Prix. I’m sure they’ll have a great day, especially if Mark Webber wins. The Wallabies beat the Lions last night in the Second Test, we’ve won in Somerset, so let’s turn this summer around!

Monday 1 July.
Worcester.

Having given us a day off yesterday, Boof and our team manager Gavin have kept us extra busy today.

We started at 7.30 am with a novelty: an illicit drug test. Cricket Australia is bringing in hair testing for the first time, and eleven of us had to have a sizeable hunk of hair cut off and taken away. It’s been explained to us that hair shows the presence of drugs in your system for far longer than urine, so it’s a more accurate form of testing. It’s certainly a new experience for me, but they can cut my hair any time they like.

After that I went straight into some rehab with Alex, which was necessary after a four-day match, and then a three-hour training session. Freshened up by our day off, the boys worked very hard. Darren set up different sections in separate nets to work on particular skills: one involved facing spin bowling, another had bowling machines set up with the ball swinging, and another net was for seam bowling. I think we all enjoyed working with such focus and intent.

After training came some pre-Test media commitments: some guys had an open media session, others had to do interviews for Cricket Australia TV at the hotel, and all of us had our head shots done for Sky television; these are the little cameos you see when guys walk out to bat.