The Atonement (24 page)

T
HE
ROOSTER
'
S
CROWING
penetrated the predawn silence as Lucy dressed quickly that Saturday. She brushed her hair and wound it into a neat, tight bun, securing it with bobby pins before tying a dark blue kerchief around her head.

She had a hankering to surprise Mammi Flaud. It wouldn't be the first time she'd gone over to cook breakfast next door before heading up the road to help Martie.

The gas lamp already lit the kitchen area with a warm glow as Lucy crept inside the small outer room and hung her jacket on the only empty peg. She heard talking, and going around the corner, she saw Lettie sitting with their grandmother at the table. It looked as though her sister was crying, her hair in a loose bun uncovered by either a scarf or
Kapp.
The pink candy dish, half full of sweets, was set within Lettie's close reach.

“
Ach
, I'll come back later,” Lucy said when Mammi looked up and spotted her.

“Ain't necessary.” Mammi waved her in. “Your sister could use some extra attention.”

“I'll make some waffles, then,” Lucy said, wondering why Lettie looked so glum. “Okay with you, sister?”

Lettie nodded her head.

“I'll cook the eggs,” Mammi said, getting up.

Lucy stood next to Lettie and touched her shoulder. “Maybe some breakfast will make ya feel better.” She said what their mother often suggested when one of them was down in the dumps.

Lettie moaned softly but didn't say what was troubling her.

Lucy slipped over to the counter to work alongside Mammi, gathering the ingredients for the waffles, then mixing the batter by hand. In just a few minutes, they moved to the stove, their movements as practiced as when Lucy helped her mother cook. All the while, Lucy was aware of Lettie's occasional sniffs and gloomy expression.
Poor thing.
And she could see that the candies in the beautiful dish were disappearing quickly.

“Oughta be a nice sunny day,” Mammi said, turning down the gas under the scrambled eggs so they wouldn't stick.

Looking out the window and seeing the lights still on at the neighboring farmhouse across the field, Lucy agreed. “Daylight sure is scarce now that we're into October,” she said.

“How quickly we forget from one year to the next.” Mammi peppered the eggs and glanced over her shoulder at Lettie. “You all out of sweets, honey-girl?”

Lettie grinned and even giggled a little. “Too much sugar makes me a bit silly.”

“Well, better'n crying, I daresay.” Mammi laughed as she moved the eggs around in the frying pan. “How close are we, Lucy?”

“Just a few minutes more.” She removed the second waffle and poured more batter on the waffle iron, then closed the lid.

When they were ready, Lucy and Mammi carried the food over and sat down with Lettie. Mammi bowed her head for the silent prayer, and Lucy and her sister followed her lead. Lucy thanked God for the delicious breakfast before them and prayed
that all would go well tomorrow for Kiana at the Friesens'. And she tucked in a prayer for Lettie, too.

“Amen,” Mammi said, lifting her head. “Now then, dig in, girls. There's a-plenty.”

“Did ya tell Mamm you were comin' here?” Lettie asked, wiping her eyes with a paper napkin.

“
Nee,
did you?”

“
Ach
, she'll guess,” Mammi said. “Where else would yous be this early?”

Lucy scanned the living area, her gaze lingering on Dawdi's old chair, which Mammi had brought with her when she'd moved there. “Remember how that itty-bitty dog you used to have would sit at Dawdi's knee and plead for a treat?”

“Oh, do I ever. Ruby could beg with her eyes like nobody's business. And, oh, that little head and ears . . . soft as silk,” Mammi said. “Too bad I gave her away, after—”

“Ruby sure had a noisy bark for such a small pet,” Lettie interrupted, perking up at the talk of the cute pup.

“Your Dawdi and Ruby were a jovial pair,” added Mammi. “Not that Ruby didn't care for me, too.”

Lettie smiled, her lips parting. “I still miss Dawdi's smile,” she said, tears welling up again. “And the way he talked so gratefully 'bout the Lord.”

Lucy caught herself nodding as her sister poured more syrup on her waffles.

“You'll have a sugar high for sure unless you eat more eggs to offset all that. Maybe I should fry up some bacon, too,” Mammi suggested.

Lettie rose and poured milk for everyone, including a tall glass for herself. “Cryin' makes me hungry.”

“You gonna be all right?” Lucy asked.

“Guess so. We all get over bein' jilted eventually,
jah
?” Lettie forced a smile. “Sorry for braggin' like I did last Sunday, comin'
back from Ammon and Sylvia's. I spoke too soon about the Mast boys—must have had this comin'.” She explained that Matthew had decided he didn't much like double-dating with twins. “Maybe we weren't acting mature enough . . . cutting up, ya know. Who knows?”

“Well, the two of yous together can be double trouble,” Mammi teased. “And with twins bein' courted by brothers who could pass for twins . . . well, who's to say your Matthew ain't right?”

“He's not
my
Matthew anymore.”

Mammi looked Lucy's way, her eyes concerned. “You know there are other fellas in the district who'll treat ya better,” encouraged Mammi.

Lettie shrugged and cried some more. And Lucy reached across the table to squeeze her hand.

Christian sat on the church bench with all of his sons during Preaching. It wasn't hard to keep his mind on the first sermon, which lasted twenty-five minutes and introduced the theme of humility for the second sermon to come. The congregation of the People silently prayed the Lord's Prayer as they knelt at their benches following the first sermon. Then the second preacher stood before them and began to pace as he read James four, verse ten: “‘Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.'” After the squabble with Lucy on Thursday, Christian's heart was particularly attuned to the message therein.

During the testimonies afterward, Christian contemplated Lucy's startling admission. The fact that she still carried resentment toward him wasn't good for her, nor for him.
I never meant to banish her like she thinks.

There had been much more behind the decision to send her so abruptly to Ohio.
Just till she gave up the baby for adoption,
he recalled.
Sarah's and my decision.
Yet who could have known
that Lucy would lose her tiny babe at just nine weeks into the pregnancy?

Christian had never found any comfort in that. The miscarriage had ultimately spared Lucy from having to live life as a
Maidel,
yet his daughter had been no more inclined to date anyone in the years since her return than visit the man in the moon.

I must talk more candidly with her,
he decided, hoping it might help clear things up between them.

Together with the other menfolk, Christian helped to convert the wide-open gathering room into a temporary dining area. A third or so of the benches were altered to create tables while the rest were put into place for seating. There were chunks of cheese and peanut butter spread, and thick homemade bread—simple fare, to be sure, but it was what they were accustomed to. Bountiful bowls of pickles—sweet and dill—graced the ends of each table, and there was plentiful snitz pie.

Bishop came and sat next to him as Christian was thinking about pouring another cup of coffee. Bishop Smucker was eager to talk. “I made Jerry Glick an offer on his dairy farm. Want it for my eldest grandson,” he said, reaching for a chocolate chip cookie.

Surprised, Christian said, “Didn't realize it was on the market just yet.”

The bishop indicated that Jerry had hoped to avoid listing it with a real estate agent. “It's wise to keep our farms tied up with Amish, ya know.”

“Agreed,” Christian said, his mind stuck on the apparent fact that Tobe had decided to go west with his family.

“You and Sarah are stayin' put,
jah
?” Bishop looked him in the eye.

“I have no plans to move anywhere till the Lord calls me Home.”

Bishop Smucker slapped him on the back. “
Gut
to hear,
Bruder.
And I don't say that lightly.”

Later, on the way out to the stable with James and Solomon, Christian noticed Lucy standing near the potting shed with Lettie, their heads together. It was unusual to see them together without Faye.

Does Lucy know Tobe's decided to leave?

———

“I'm real sorry you're sad over Matthew Mast,” Lucy told Lettie as they hung back away from the other young women waiting to go in for the shared meal.

“Not sure why I wept in front of Mammi Flaud yesterday.” Lettie shook her head.

“She loves ya, Lettie. We all do.”

Lettie looked at her suddenly. “You're ever so sisterly today. Yesterday too.”

“Well, you're hurting.”

Lettie was quiet for a moment. “Not to be rude, but it seems this is the only time you reach out, Lucy.”

“What do ya mean?”

“Just that you seem to jump over hay bales to help people who are down and out.” Lettie shook her head. “Do I have to be this needy for you to pay me any mind?”

Startled, Lucy wondered,
Is this true?

“Oh, Lettie, I
do
care about you. And Faye, too. I'm sorry I don't show it more.”

Lettie gave her a small smile. “Still, I worry 'bout ya, sister. Who do
you
run to when things are crumblin' round your feet?”

Lucy felt flustered by the question. “It's always been Martie for me . . . much like you go to Faye.”

Shrugging, Lettie sighed. “Right now, Faye and I are on the outs—she thinks Matthew wouldn't have broken up with me if I hadn't said certain things.”

“Well, what do you think 'bout that?” Lucy asked gently, not wanting to spoil this rare moment between them.

“
Ach
, Lucy, I don't know what got into me last night after
die Youngie
gathered over at the deacon's for apple dumplings.” Lettie sniffled. “Am I really outspoken enough to run a fella off?”

Lucy bit her tongue. No need to add insult to injury. “Try to remember what Mamm says: There are plenty of nice Amish boys just waitin' for your perty smile to catch their eye.”

Wrinkling her nose, Lettie reached for Lucy's hand. “You're kinder than me, Lucy, and always have been.”

“Well, I wouldn't go that far.”

“I'm sorry if I offended ya.” Lettie leaned closer. “Forgive me?”

Lucy squeezed her hand. “I'm glad ya didn't mince words. Honest, I am.”