The Awakening: Liam (Entangled Covet) (22 page)

he looked down at her. “It was meant to store our memories. Our wedding. The births of our children. The

years afterward. I wanted to give you something to place them in to cherish. And when we filled that one,

I’d make you another.”

No longer able to hold back the tears, she covered her face with her hands, the magnitude of everything

she had taken away from him slamming into her. “I-I am so sorry…for everything…I’ve done.”

He took her in his arms, cradling her head against his chest as he shushed her. She burrowed closer,

wrapping her arms around him, holding tight, not ever wanting to let go again.

“It’s okay,” he gently said. “I understand now. It doesn’t make it easier, but at least I understand.”

She pulled back to look up at him. “I never wanted to hurt you, Liam. And it’s killing me knowing the

extent I have. I didn’t know. I swear, I didn’t know.”

He brushed back her hair, pain in his own eyes. “How could you when I never told you?”

“I-I took everything from you. How can you ever forgive me for that?”

“Ava,” he breathed her name in a comforting tone. “I never
told
you. You were protecting your sister.

Doing what you thought was right. There isn’t anything to forgive.”

“Will you tell me now?” When he glanced away, she grabbed his bicep. “Please, Liam. Don’t shut me

out, now that I am finally starting to understand your world, too. I want to know everything, and not just

the bad stuff, I want to know the good, too.”

And this symbol meant something good. She was certain of it.

He reached out to gently touch the infinity symbol. “I’m sure you suspect now that it means more than

me being romantic.”

“Yes.”

“This represents the shifter bond, Ava. A love that never ends. A connection that continues…even after

death.”

After death? That far surpassed anything she could imagine. “But how?”

“Do you remember the first time we kissed?”

How could she ever forget? “Our first date.” Despite her roiling emotions, a small smile came to her

lips. “You’d walked me to my door. And then you kissed me. A sweet kiss.”

“It didn’t stay sweet for long.”

No, it hadn’t. It had become carnal seconds later…on both their parts. He hadn’t left that night, or any

night for the months to follow. And suddenly, she knew. “That’s the night you marked me.”

“Yes. The moment I placed my lips to yours, the mating instinct in me awakened, and I knew you were

supposed to be mine. It’s called the
Drall
, and once awakened, the shifter is driven by the need to mark his

mate.”

Drall
. The first word she’d heard that didn’t have an ominous sound to it, something she could relate

to. She’d been drawn to Liam, pulled closer, first out of curiosity, then attraction, and finally love. “But

what is the bond for?”

“It’s a tether that connects us in life and reunites us in death.”

“Are you saying that after we die we’ll still be together?” She glanced at the symbol and what it

represented was suddenly clear. “For eternity?”

There was a moment of silence before his arms banded around her, bringing her tight against his body.

He rested his chin on top of her head. The beat of his heart thumped against her cheek, while a deep hum

vibrated her face. “This was supposed to be the way I told you about what I am. With you in my arms. Not

yelling and making demands.”

“I didn’t really give you much choice.”

“I could’ve handled it better than I did. Maybe then…”

When his words halted, she tilted her head back, shocked to see the regret etched deeply on his face.

“What?”

A strained smile came to his mouth and he shook his head. “Nothing. It worked out the way it was

supposed to.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just that.”

His words confused her, but he didn’t seem keen on elaborating, so she said, “Jaylin mentioned

something about me not marking you.”

“Did she, now?”

The slow, cautious way he asked the question led her to believe he’d had no intention of telling her this

part, hadn’t wanted her to know, and she realized then that Liam still wasn’t going to give all the answers

freely.

If what he’d hidden in the past was any indication, there was a darker reason for his silence than just

wanting to keep her uninformed, and she needed to find out what it was. “She said the reason you had

those episodes was because I hadn’t marked you, and instead left you.”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“One half is not whole until combined with the other half.”

She frowned at his evasive declaration, but she knew enough now to snap the pieces together.

“Cryptically saying you are not whole until I mark you?”

If you die, Liam might as well be dead too
.

If you die, I’ll be ruined.

A muscle jumped in his cheek. “Yes.”

Dread compressed her chest at the one word answers he was now reluctantly feeding her. She pushed

away from him. He let her go without a fight, and she felt the distance between them opening again. She

refused to allow that to happen. Not this time. He was holding something back and he
would
tell her. “You

said this bond lasts even after death, it’s a tether that brings us together.”

“Yes.”

“But I’m not bonded to you.” The muscle in his cheek started to pulsate. Whatever he was hiding, she

was headed in the right direction. “You’re not whole yet. How does that affect the eternity thing? What

would happen if I were to die today without marking you?”

Liam spun away from her. “Nothing would change. It would be as it is.”

Clearly. But again, not an answer.

He didn’t want her to know, just as he hadn’t wanted her to know what happened to him after she’d left

him. She hated the tactic she was about to pull, but she had no choice. “You can tell me yourself, Liam, or I

will
call Dr. Avgar and get the answer.” She stepped toward him. “But I would rather hear it from you.”

He gazed at her from over his shoulder. “You’d do that, wouldn’t you?”

“I’m tired of being in the dark. If you won’t tell me, I’ll find the answers elsewhere.”

Resignation slumped his shoulders. “The answers won’t give you the peace you want, Ava. Nothing

will change once I tell you. Sometimes ignorance is bliss, because the truth can be ugly.”

“You don’t think I already know I’m going to be horrified by what I hear? That I wasn’t already when I

learned what
Dserted
meant?” She took another step toward him. “Tell me, Liam. What would happen if I

die today?”

His expression shattered as he quietly said, “I would die, too.”

That couldn’t be right; he had to be wrong. “But…but when you thought I died before, that didn’t

happen.”

I’d be ruined
.

“Not literally. Figuratively. I’d live, but spend the remainder of my life dead inside, feeling only

emptiness where you used to thrive inside me.”

Ruined
...

Unnerved, she took a shaky breath. “And when you die?”

“I don’t know what kind of eternity I’d have waiting for me. I don’t know if I will find peace or if I will

live in infinity knowing my mate is lost to me.”

She covered her mouth with her hand in pure horror, realizing the enormity of what that terrible man

had planned for Liam. If they had not escaped his sick prison, he would’ve eventually killed her, and Liam

would have been left like that,
ruined
, possibly for eternity. Her throat closed at the thought, panic squeezed

her chest. She latched onto his forearm and held it in a death grip, as if that alone would keep him safe.

“But if I bond to you, we’re connected for eternity, right?”

“Ah, Ava, let’s not go down that road.”

“
Liam
,” she said. “We’d be connected. You wouldn’t live dead inside in this horrible way you describe,

right?”

He looked down at her, cheerless. “No. I’ll grieve, but eventually the connection will hum in peace and

I’ll know you’re waiting for me on the other side.”

All she had to do was mark Liam to make everything right? She loved him, had wanted to spend her life

with him—still wanted to spend her life with him. “Tell me how, and I will. Right now.”

Liam shook his head.

He might as well have slapped her. Her anger blossomed. At him. For being so damn stubborn. “Jesus

Christ, Liam, why not? It would fix everything!”

“Everything but one—Emma.”

She jerked back, unprepared for that. “What does Emma have to do with me bonding to you?”

“If you bond to me, Emma will be the one to suffer. Not you. Not me. Emma. You told me yourself,

he’ll make her pay. He’ll kill her. Slowly. Agonizingly. And he’ll taunt us with it.”

Oh, God
. “But—”

“Once you bond to me, his hold on my life is gone. Even your death would no longer be enough

because we’d still have infinity together.” He touched her cheek. “He wants my eternal suffering, Ava. If we

take that away from him, the only way he can make me—make us—suffer is to make Emma suffer. You

would never forgive me for that. Make no mistake, he’ll take her down if it’s the only option left for him.”

“We can do it in secret. Stay away from each other then, until he’s caught. He’ll never know.”

“He’ll know. We all know. We have a different scent once our mate has bonded to us. You’re scent was

altered as soon as I placed those marks on your thighs. We know you are safe. Bonded.”

“Why didn’t he just kill me then?” she asked, searching for a loophole, anything that could make the

outcome different. “He could’ve. At any time. Why didn’t he?”

“He didn’t want to just kill you, Ava, otherwise you’d already be dead. He wanted to fuck with me

before he killed you. Make me fear your death even more than I already did, because I could see it

coming.”

“B-but I could’ve bonded to you anytime over the six months we were together. Why would he gamble

with that if he wanted to get to you so badly?”

“You’re human, Ava. He would’ve known when we had the talk, seen the subtle change in you that all

of our human mates get after they learn they’re not the only humanoid species. You’re told something that

goes against everything you grew up believing, and the residual effect of that can be seen by us. He

would’ve put his plan into action immediately. There wouldn’t have been threats, or
Dsershon
. You

would’ve just been dead.”

She gazed at him for a long moment. Swallowed. “What if I’d been honest with you that night?”

Liam strode over and yanked her to him, crushing her against his chest, his arms like steel around her.

“I know what you’re doing, baby. I know you’re just trying to understand, but you have to stop, and trust I

know my world. He would never have given you the chance to bond to me. This is not a stupid shifter

we’re dealing with. He’s smart, calculating. He was always watching, waiting, just hoping I wouldn’t have

the talk with you before he was ready for me. He used a shifter’s one weakness against us: We’re terrified

of revealing ourselves to our human mates, terrified of being rejected. We say nothing until we are positive

we will be accepted.”

“And I rejected you, anyway.” She buried her face against him. “Oh, God. I helped him.”

“No, Ava. You were protecting your teenaged sister. Stop blaming yourself.”

They rocked in each other’s arms for long moments. Then she whispered, “What if he succeeds in

killing me?”

“I’ll die before I allow that to happen.”

Tears burned her eyes. “But then you will be lost to me. How is that any more fair than what I did to

you?”

He latched on to her upper arms and pushed her back until he could look her in the eyes, and she saw

how serious he was. “If I lose you, I lose everything. I will never recover. But
you
are unbonded. I can’t

promise an eternity with me, Ava, but I can at least ensure you’ll love again, have children, have a life if

this ends badly.”

“I-I want all that with you. I’ve only ever wanted that with
you
. I want to fill that hope chest with

memories, so many you
have
to make me another one.”

His throat worked as he swallowed. A wet brightness shone in his eyes that hadn’t been there a moment

before. He pulled her to him again, pressing his lips against her forehead. “All we have is right now. I can’t

promise more.”

He wasn’t going to tell her how to mark him…to save him. He’d made up his mind. If he had to, he’d

sacrifice his eternity to save her sister, to allow Ava a life after his death.

“Then let’s grab right now.” She cupped his cheek. “Make love to me.”

She’d barely gotten the words out of her mouth before he took her head between his hands and kissed

her. Melting against him, she no longer held anything back, giving him everything she had…her love,

devotion, and determination that one day they’d never be separated again.

As she opened her mouth to him, she wrapped her arms around his neck . He slipped his tongue

between her teeth, stroking against hers, softly, lovingly. The way he used to on the nights he was simply