“Sassy, that’s not what—”
Horrified that she’d not kept a better rein on herself, she quickly jumped to her feet. “Sorry, Jett. I shouldn’t have gone off on you like that—I’d better go to bed before I say any more.”
She started to walk off, but Jett leaped off the couch and snatched a hold on her arm.
“Wait just a minute, Sassy. You’re not going to throw something like that at me and then walk off!”
She whirled around as hot color washed over her face. “Jett, I was out of line. Please, let’s leave it at that.”
“Sassy, I don’t care if you speak your mind. I’m glad that you feel comfortable enough with me to do that. What I don’t understand is why you’re angry with me.”
With a heavy sigh, she stared at her feet. “Jett, it was— It made me feel special for you to share that private glimpse of your marriage. But then you had to go and ruin it all with that last remark.”
“Why did that ruin it? Because I busted your romantic bubble about love and marriage?”
That jerked her head up. “No! If you want to live like an unfeeling rock that’s your business. But why tell me? I’m not weak-willed, and though I fainted the other day, I’m not ill. I didn’t come here looking for love—or anything like it.”
With his hand on her shoulder, he moved forward until the front of his body was pressed against hers. “Sassy, I think I should tell you that the warning was more for myself, not you.”
His eyes were locked on hers and the heat of his body was arcing into hers like a wildfire leaping from one branch to the next. His chest was practically flattening her breasts while his hips reminded her he was all man. And she was melting like a snowflake on a warm cheek.
“Jett, this is crazy—”
“Sassy, Sassy. I don’t want to love you. I only want to touch you. I want to hold you in my arms and feel your skin against mine, taste the sweetness of your lips.”
As everything inside her began to tremble, she realized she couldn’t deal with this or him. Her senses were too weak and willing for her to fight against the pleasures of being this close to him.
“It won’t work, Jett. I won’t go to bed with you. The next time I let a man touch me in that way, I’ll have to be in love with him. And him with me.”
Even as she spoke her vow, his head was lowering, his breath skimming across her face like a sweet whisper.
“I’m not asking you to go to bed with me. Not yet.”
There wasn’t even time for her to gasp before his lips came down on hers, and by then Sassy was a willing prisoner to the tantalizing taste of his kiss. She didn’t want to back away. And she especially didn’t want to think about tomorrow. Being in his arms took her to a special place. One that she never wanted to leave.
Her lips parted and, as he deepened the kiss, his hands thrust into her hair and tilted her head to one side. Beneath her breast, her heart was hammering, and before she could stop them, her arms slid around his waist.
Sassy wasn’t sure how long the kiss went on. She was too absorbed in Jett for her mind to register the passing of time. But eventually the sound of Bella entering the front door was enough to rip two of them apart.
Dazed, Sassy slapped a hand over her mouth. Then, darting a frantic look toward the entryway, she whirled and ran from the room.
* * *
The next morning dawned clear and the sun sparkled off the snow that blanketed the open mesa and decorated the distant mountain tops like white lace on green velvet. The change in the weather helped to lift Jett’s spirits. Especially after he learned all the major highways were clear and it would be safe enough for him and Sassy to travel up to Reno.
But later that morning, as he readied himself for the outing, he wondered what the hell he was doing getting himself involved with Sassy. They were both saying one thing and doing exactly the opposite. She wanted love from a man. He could see it all over her face, hear it in her words. He couldn’t give her that much of himself. He didn’t want to give any woman that much of a hold over him again. And yet, it made him happy to be with her. After dealing with Erica’s frailties, Sassy’s proud determination to forge ahead and make a future for herself and her baby was especially endearing to him. Then there was the sound of her voice and the richness of her smile, which were just as bewitching as her fiery hair and blue, blue eyes.
Face it, Jett, you’re tumbling head over heels for the woman. She’s going to take your heart and wring it between her two little hands until there’s nothing left inside it.
Fed up with the voice going off in his head, Jett finished buttoning his shirt and reached for the sheepskin jacket lying on the foot of the bed. For the first time in years, he felt excited about life. He wasn’t going to let anything ruin that today. Even the thought of losing his heart.
Ten minutes later, Jett steered the truck beneath the entrance to the J Bar S and turned south on Highway 50. Across the seat from him, Sassy silently stared out the passenger window. She’d hardly said more than ten words to him since they’d started the trip, and he wondered if she was pouting over the cross words they’d exchanged last night, or their kiss, or if something else was on her mind. Like the baby or the Calhouns.
Damn, damn, Jett. The woman has enough on her plate without you trying to wedge your way onto it. So, why are you trying?
“Do you like the snow?”
Her simple question jarred his wandering thoughts and he took a moment to gather them before he spoke.
“I like the moisture it puts in the ground. God knows around here we never get enough of it. But since cattle can’t graze through drifts of snow, it’s hard on them. You already know about the snow and feeding cattle, though.”
“Hmm. I should’ve guessed you’d look at it from a rancher’s point of view. If I owned a ranch, I probably would, too.”
He could feel her gaze traveling over the side of his face and it urged him to glance her way. The picture she made, sitting beside him, made the sky seem bluer, the sun even brighter and turned him into a complete sap.
“And how do you see the snow, Miss Sassy?”
“When it first falls it makes everything look new and fresh. Like the world is starting all over. That’s what I like best about it.”
“Is that what you’d like to do? Start all over?”
Silent moments passed before she finally said, “Not exactly. I’ve made mistakes. But that’s how we learn, isn’t it? And I don’t want to look back with regret. I want to move forward to where everything is fresh and new.”
Was that what he’d been doing? Jett wondered. Looking back with regrets instead of reaching for a better future? He didn’t want to think he’d wasted these past five years just licking his wounds and trying to avoid being hurt all over again. But now he was wondering if that’s exactly what he had been doing.
Reaching for a knob on the dash, he adjusted the heater so that part of the warm air would blow on her feet. “Last night, after you raced off to your room, I expected you’d cancel our trip this morning.”
He glanced over just in time to see her features tighten.
“Thank God your sister chose that moment to enter the house,” she muttered.
He had to grin. “Hmm. I was thinking Bella had very bad timing.”
Sassy lifted her chin to a defiant angle and Jett realized he admired her pluckiness as much as her vibrant beauty. “Well, I’m not a coward, Jett. I wasn’t about to let that kiss scare me away from you or this outing. You can kiss me all you’d like, but you’re not going to break my resolve concerning you.”
“Kiss you all I want, huh? That sounds like a pretty pleasurable challenge to me.”
“That wasn’t a challenge. That was a promise.”
His chuckle was low and sexy. “Well, promises are made to be broken, Sassy. And resolves can be broken, too.”
* * *
After traveling through Carson City, the eastern shoreline of Tahoe Lake was only a few short minutes away. Jett drove to one of the more easily accessible beaches and stopped the truck in a paved parking area surrounded by huge ponderosa pines and red firs.
“There’s a wooden dock not far from here that goes out over the water. Do you feel up to walking?” he asked.
She reached to unfasten her safety belt. “Sure. I’d love to get a closer view.”
“Great. Just wait until I help you down. The ground is slick. I don’t want you going anywhere unless you’re holding on to me.”
She shot him an impish grin. “Okay, Jett. I’ll let you lead me around like an old granny woman,” she teased.
Moments later, he helped her to the ground and she buttoned her coat and fastened a thick green scarf around her neck before he led her away from the truck.
“Cold?” he asked, as a breeze from the north ruffled her red waves.
“No. The sun feels wonderful.”
He took a careful hold on her arm, and they started over a small trail that led downward to the shoreline. Along the way, huge boulders rose above their heads and wind whistled through white firs and giant pines.
Other than the two of them, there was nothing around but the birds swooping over the span of deep blue water that stretched as far as the eye could see.
“The water looks so clear,” she remarked. “Just how big is this lake?”
“It’s twelve miles wide and more than a thousand feet deep.”
Clearly impressed, she said, “Oh, we don’t have anything like this around Ruidoso.”
“You won’t find any other lake like this in North America. Guess that’s why the tourists flock to it.”
Using her cell phone, she snapped several pictures before turning a smile on him that said she was enjoying every moment. The idea that he’d managed to please her made him ridiculously happy.
“This is so gorgeous, Jett. And practically right here in your backyard. Do you come here often?”
“No. I really don’t have a reason to drive over here. When Bella and I were just little kids, our parents would bring us here during the summer for swims and picnics. One thing about Dad, he liked to enjoy himself. He’d bring his guitar and make up silly little songs around the campfire.” He smiled a bit. “Funny, even though our father would be gone for long stretches at a time, it was very special for us all whenever he was home. We adored him.”
Resting her back against the railing on the dock, she looked up at him. “Was he kind to you?”
“I don’t recall him ever raising his voice to me or Bella. But then he left most of the disciplining up to Mom. I never did have much in common with my dad. We had totally different interests. But sometimes I really miss him—just hearing him laugh—seeing his face.”
“Would you like for him to come around?”
“Only if it was because he wanted to see his kids. Not because he was feeling guilty.”
“Well, at least you have a father,” she said with a small sigh.
“You do, too. Somewhere,” he said. Then, in an effort to lift the somber moment, he smiled and touched a fingertip to the bridge of her nose. “Out here in the sunlight I can see your freckles.”
“You shouldn’t be looking at my freckles. Especially with all this beauty around us.”
“Your freckles are very charming.” To emphasize his point, he bent his head and kissed several spots along her cheekbone. As his lips hovered near her nose, he felt her fingers momentarily tighten over his forearm, then just as her flowery scent filled his head, she suddenly turned her back to him.
“We should be going.”
Her voice was small and strained and he wondered if she wanted to be in his arms as much he wanted her to be there. “Sassy, before we go I—I’m glad you still wanted to come on this date with me.”
Her head twisted around, and as she stared at him in wonder, strands of red hair blew across her face and clung to her moist lips. Jett’s fingers itched to clear them away and press his mouth to all that sweetness.
“Is that what this really is, Jett?” she asked slowly.
A long breath rushed out of him. “I’ve been thinking about what you said last night. About me being an unfeeling rock, and I’m wondering if you might be right, Sassy. Maybe I don’t know how to love. Maybe I’d like for you to teach me.”
A wry sort of smile touched her lips, and then she reached for his hand and wrapped her fingers loosely around his. “Jett, what you feel for me is physical. I’ll even admit that I have the same attraction to you. But we don’t need to hash this out again. Let’s just enjoy our time together today and the remainder of my days here in Nevada. Once I’m gone you’ll be relieved you didn’t get involved with a pregnant woman.”
The fact that Sassy was pregnant didn’t revolt him. It made him feel even more protective of her. It made him picture her with a child feeding at her breasts. His child.
What did it mean? That he was still capable of falling in love? That he was already seeing Sassy as his soul mate? Oh, God, he couldn’t let that happen. No matter how much he enjoyed her company, no matter how much he wanted to take her into his arms and kiss her, and no matter that he desperately wanted her baby to have a daddy, he couldn’t risk his heart again.
Urging her away from the edge of the dock, he said, “You’re right. Let’s go and enjoy the rest of the day.”
Chapter Eight
M
onday morning, on the way to the Health Department in Carson City, Sassy tried not to think about the DNA test or what the results could possibly mean to her life. The sum of it was too overwhelming to consider. Besides, with Jett and the baby consuming her thoughts, there was hardly enough room for anything else.
Yesterday had turned out to be a fairy-tale trip for Sassy. After seeing the lake, they’d traveled up to Reno and eaten lunch in a hotel restaurant that overlooked an atrium filled with lush tropical plants and a waterfall. Afterward, they’d looked over part of the town, then headed through the old mining towns of Virginia City and Silver City before finally ending the big circle that started and ended on the J Bar S.
The sights had been a treat for Sassy, and the history interesting, but none of it had compared to having Jett’s exclusive company. And though he’d not made any effort to kiss her again, the long hours she’d spent with him had somehow bonded her even closer to the man.
Maybe I don’t know how to love. Maybe I’d like for you to teach me.
Oh, how his words had pierced deeply into her heart. And, at that moment, she’d wanted to wrap her arms around him. She’d longed to tell him to take her somewhere quiet and private, and make love to her all day long. But as much as she’d desired him, she’d tamped it down. Letting her heart lead her around by the nose wasn’t going to take care of her and her baby’s future.
“Are you nervous about this test, Sassy? You’ve hardly said two words since we left the ranch, and you’re looking a bit peaked.”
Jett wheeled the truck into a parking space near the Health Department building and killed the engine. Sassy reached to the floorboard for her handbag.
“I’m trying not to think about it,” she said. She didn’t go on to explain that she’d already lost her breakfast, and her stomach was still on a monster roller coaster. She didn’t want him getting the notion that she needed to be coddled.
Glancing out the driver’s window, he said, “Well, there’s Finn driving up right now. Let’s go get this over with.”
Dressed in working cowboy gear, Finn met up with them on the sidewalk and, after a quick exchange of greetings, caught them up on Bart’s condition.
“Grandfather’s blood pressure is back to normal, so the doc plans to release him in a day or two. You can bet that Greta and Tessa aren’t looking forward to his homecoming. He’ll be giving them some hell. Not to mention barking plenty of orders at me and my brothers. But we’re glad he’s feeling better. The Horn isn’t the same without the old man there.”
“I’m very glad he’s better,” Sassy said, as the three of them migrated toward the entrance of the building.
“Amen to that,” Jett added.
Inside the building, Finn went straight to the front desk and explained the reason for their visit. After that, she and Finn were required to fill out several forms and pay for the test. Something Finn insisted on doing with Calhoun funds.
With the facility already full of people, they sat through a lengthy wait. The time stretched Sassy’s nerves and left her stomach feeling as if she were riding a wave instead of a solid chair. Just when she thought she might have to make an embarrassing dash to the bathroom, a nurse arrived to escort them to a small room. A male technician wasted no time in collecting their DNA, and after a few short minutes the three of them were outside the building and preparing to leave.
“Well, all that’s left now is the waiting,” Finn said cheerily.
“And how long is the normal wait for this type of test result?” Jett asked.
Since Jett had stayed behind in the lobby while the samples had been collected, Finn filled him in. “The tech said it all depends on how complex the test is and whether the lab is backed up on their work. The way he talked, we might get the results in anywhere from a week to a month.”
A month sounded like an eon to Sassy. Especially since she’d put her job on hold to make this trip. Frankie had a heart condition. She didn’t need to be overdoing it with household chores. And Leyla, who cooked for the family, had a four-year-old son and a newborn daughter. She didn’t have time to tackle Sassy’s job, too. Getting a temporary maid to fill in wouldn’t be easy. The Chaparral was a remote ranch. It took thirty to forty minutes of traveling rough dirt road to get there.
Then, aside from her job, there was Jett. Living under the same roof with him for that length of time would definitely test her resolve to stay out of his bed. But she’d promised Finn and Jett that she would stick this out. She couldn’t renege now.
“Hopefully it will turn out to be a week rather than a month,” she remarked.
“And hopefully Bart will start talking before then,” Jett added.
“Yeah,” Finn said with a caustic laugh. “Miracles do happen. And that’s just what it’ll take to cure the old man of lockjaw.”
Jett levered his hat down over his forehead and reached for Sassy’s arm. “We’d better be going. I need to take Sassy home before I drive out to the Silver Horn.”
“I can take her,” Finn quickly offered. “I have enough time before I’m needed back at the ranch.”
Not liking the idea that she was a nuisance for either man, Sassy interjected, “If one of you would take me to a car rental agency I can drive myself.”
Jett arched a brow at her. “Car rental—”
Finn interrupted, “Hell, Jett, can’t you give the woman something to drive? If you can’t, we have plenty of vehicles she can borrow.”
Frowning at Finn, Jett said, “This is the first I’ve heard about her wanting a car.”
She wanted to scream at the both of them. Instead she tried to patiently explain. “I can hardly hang around here for an extended length of time without transportation. I’ll rent a car and be done with it.”
“By the time you pay that much rental cost you might as well have bought a vehicle. Forget it,” Jett told her. “I have another truck you can use. Can you drive a truck?”
Before she could answer, her stomach took a sudden sickening lurch. Slapping a hand over her mouth, she raced down the sidewalk until she reached the nearest trash barrel.
She was still heaving, her head bent over the edge of the bin, when she felt Jett’s hand against her back.
“Sassy, do I need to take you to a doctor?”
Men. At the moment, her fascination with the male gender had gone into the trash heap. “No. I’m pregnant. Not sick.”
“You are sick. You’re vomiting.”
Not daring to lift her head, she thrust her handbag back at him. “There’s a tissue inside my bag. Would you please dig it out for me?”
He did as she asked, and after Sassy had carefully wiped her face and drawn in several long, cleansing breaths, she turned away from the trash bin to see both men staring tragically at her.
“Gosh, Sassy, you look awful,” Finn stated with concern. “Are you that worked up about the test?”
Jett shot him a pointed look. “It’s not the test. She’s pregnant.”
Finn’s mouth formed a shocked O. “A baby?”
Sassy groaned. “You just had to tell him, didn’t you?”
“I sure did,” Jett answered. “He can see how sick you are. Besides, in a few weeks that tiny waist of yours is going to start bulging and everyone is going to be able to tell you’re with child. You can’t keep it a secret.”
He was right. She wasn’t ashamed of her pregnancy, she was thrilled about it, and now was as good as time as any to spread the news. “Sorry, Jett. I’m not trying to keep my condition a secret. But I don’t want either of you feeling sorry for me. Once I get home and lie down I’ll be perfectly fine.”
“A baby,” Finn repeated with a delighted grin. “Congratulations, Sassy! And just think. If it turns out that you are a part of the family, then there’s another little Calhoun on the way!”
“I never realized you were such a family man, Finn,” Jett said dryly.
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Jett.” With a sly chuckle, Finn reached to pat Sassy on the shoulder. “Get her home. I’ll call the business office and let them know you’ll be a little late.”
“Thanks, Finn. I’ll catch up with you at the ranch.”
The young rancher disappeared down the sidewalk, and Jett helped Sassy to the truck. Once she was settled in the seat, she leaned her head back and willed her stomach to stay put.
“Hellfire,” Jett muttered as he backed the truck onto the street and merged into the flow of traffic. “The way Finn was acting, anyone would think he was the expecting daddy.”
Jett’s snide remark had her glancing over at him. “He was happy for me, that’s all. What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing. Nothing at all. I’ve just never seen him act so excited over someone having a baby.”
“Could be he’s never had the opportunity to get excited. He and his brothers don’t have any children. You don’t have any children. And whether I’m a Calhoun or not, I think Finn feels connected to me.”
“I feel connected to you, too, Sassy.”
She didn’t ask him to explain what that comment meant, but she thought about it all the way home.
* * *
Later that morning, Jett was in his office, giving instructions to his secretary, Kim, a woman in her thirties with jet-black hair and gray eyes that she hid behind a pair of cat-framed glasses.
“I’ve highlighted all the sections to be edited. And be sure to remove the word ‘jointly’ here in the bottom paragraph. Also, I’m not certain these are the right numbers for the weight cost. Let me check those before you retype it.”
She scooped up the stack of papers from his desk. “Of course, Mr. Sundell. I’ll have this ready in just a few minutes.”
As Kim hurried out of his office, Finn swaggered in and plopped into the leather chair positioned in front of Jett’s desk.
“What’s up?” Jett asked him.
Removing his hat, Finn used the brim to swat at the mud clinging to the bottom of his jeans. “Nothing. I just wanted to see how Sassy was doing.”
“She was lying down when I left the ranch. She’s visited the doctor and I think she’ll soon get past this nausea stage.” At least, Jett hoped so. Not only did it hurt him to see her suffering, it reminded him of all the ailments he’d tried to help Erica get through. By the end of their marriage her bad days had far outweighed the good ones, and he’d grown so weary of it, so tired of fetching and coddling. If she’d been really sick, that would have been one thing, but she’d used his protective nature to keep him close and at her bidding. Sassy welcomed him whenever he was around, but she didn’t press him to stay close to her, and she encouraged him to go out and about. Even when they went to Tahoe, she was willing to wander off on her own and didn’t get upset when he spoke to others around him. It was refreshing after Erica’s neediness.
“I do, too.” Finn slapped his hat back onto his head. “I—uh, told Dad about her being pregnant.”
Linking his hands at the back of his neck, Jett leaned back in the plush leather desk chair. “Oh? How did he react?”
“He didn’t say much. But a funny sort of look came over his face. I think he’s worried, Jett.”
“You’d look worried, too, if your father was being treated in the hospital.”
“No. I think this is something about Sassy. When I told him about the baby, his whole demeanor suddenly changed. He got quiet and sorta preoccupied. Maybe you ought to talk to him about it, Jett. He might open up to you.”
“Why me? Why not Clancy or Rafe or Evan?”
Finn frowned. “You’re a lawyer. You just naturally know how to get people to talk.”
Did he? Jett’s grandmother, Adah, had always said that he pulled words out of people like a dentist pulled teeth. And because of her, he’d persevered through college and then law school. His grandmother had wanted him to be more than a man who raised cattle and horses. She’d wanted him to use his mind to make a living rather than his hands. But later, after he’d become a lawyer and taken on this high-paying job with the Calhouns, Adah had realized that she couldn’t entirely take the cowboy out of her grandson. Now she and Jett’s grandfather were proud of what he was building on the J Bar S.
“I won’t put Orin on the witness stand. But I’ll try to nudge him along,” Jett said, finally.
Finn’s expression suddenly turned rueful. “Like Sassy said, the DNA test will tell us the genetic information. But it’s how and who that I want to know. To be honest, Jett, to think of my dad or grandfather siring another child outside their marriages does something to me. I didn’t want to talk about it so bluntly in front of Sassy. But do you think that’s what this is all about? Infidelity?”
“I don’t know,” Jett said honestly. “If that’s what it turns out to be, would you regret finding out about Sassy?”
Rising to his feet, Finn shook his head. “No. Someone dropped Sassy on a doorstep like a puppy or a kitten. She deserves the truth of why someone treated her that way.”
Yes, she deserved that, and so much more, Jett thought. She deserved to be truly loved. But could he ever be that man? And how would he react if she did grow ill from the pregnancy? Would he be able to face caring for another ill woman?
* * *
Later that afternoon, Jett walked to the outer part of his office and dropped a stack of legal papers onto his secretary’s desk. “I’ve signed off on all of these, Kim. They’re ready to go.”
The young woman glanced up at him. “I’ll send them right out, Mr. Sundell. Was there anything else you needed?”
“Not right now. I’m going to walk up to the big house for a while. If you need me for anything, I’ll be there.”
“Right. I’ll hold any calls unless they’re urgent,” she told him.
Jett left the block of office buildings, and rather than drive the distance to the big ranch house, he walked up the long hill and entered through a side door.
Inside, a short hallway led him straight into the kitchen where Greta was pulling something wrapped in aluminum foil from the oven.
“Don’t drop that!” Jett practically shouted. “I want a piece of it.”
The older woman plopped the baking pan on the stove top before whirling in his direction. “Jett Sundell, I ought to take a broom to your backside! If I hadn’t had such a good grip, the whole supper would have landed on the floor!”