Naturally, Johnny had to make a big speech about the whole thing, and there was a wave of applause that went on for five minutes. Eileen put her hand up several times, to signal to the crowd to stop clapping, but they went on and on and even cheered hooray as well. It seemed like a hundred years had gone by when all the fuss was over and the food could finally be served. Johnny raised his hand to the head waitress, like some sort of Roman emperor from two thousand years ago, and then she motioned to the younger waitresses to get the party under way.
Halfway through the meal, Eddy left the room and went to sit in the lobby, nursing a large drink. The girls had told him they were going to shake hands with Eileen Hogan after the teas and coffees had been served, and then they were going to phone Declan to pick them up. Thank goodness Declan and Shirley hadn’t turned up for the party. Declan didn’t go to Hogan’s ballroom very often, and so far, Johnny hadn’t spoken to him for any length of time. But in broad daylight at a family function? Well, that was another matter. Eddy considered moving house briefly, but there were just too many things tying them all to the city. Two successful businesses, a lovely house that would cost over a million pounds in London, and the girls were doing very well in school. He sighed. Sixty minutes later, Marion came out of the function room, and spied her husband slumped in his armchair, staring into the dancing flames.
‘There you are,’ she said. ‘Sorry about that, sweetheart. Once Eileen gets talking, you can’t stop her. I just couldn’t get away. The whole thing seems to have given her a new lease of life. In fact, it’s taken far more out of me than it has of her. I wish I had her bravery.’
‘It doesn’t matter. Can we go home now?’
‘Oh, Eddy. You’re cross with me. I thought you’d be fine with the girls for company.’
‘You thought nothing of the sort. You were too busy comforting Johnny Hogan. I was far more upset than he was. I nearly went out of my mind. But I had to hide my feelings in front of the children. Not rock the boat. As usual. You still care for him, don’t you?’
‘What?’
‘I saw you laughing with him. You still love him, don’t you?’
‘Eddy, I do not. Don’t be absurd. How many drinks have you had?’
‘I’m going home.’ He got up and nearly stumbled on the hearth; his jealousy making him more drunk than the whiskey.
‘Don’t be silly, Eddy. Don’t leave. Come in and say hello to Eileen, and have some coffee, and stop behaving like a spoilt teenager. I don’t want to be here, either, but it’s nearly over.’
‘I can’t stop you and Hogan making fools of yourselves, Marion. But I’d rather not be here to witness it, if you don’t mind. I think I saw a taxi out there. Excuse me.’
‘Eddy, please! Stay with me. I can drive us home, I didn’t finish my drink.’
‘I’m telling you now, if I go into that room, I’ll reach for Hogan and I’ll bloody well kill him. He has no respect for me, whatsoever. I am your husband, and he treats me like some kind of a chauffeur. What did you ever see in him anyway?’
Marion laid her hand on Eddy’s shoulder and massaged his neck. Eddy loved her to do that when he was tired after a long day working in his restaurant. But it was not enough to pacify him today.
‘I’m beginning to wonder if I ever knew you at all, Marion.’ He shrugged his wife’s hand away, and stormed out of the hotel without looking back.
Some people sitting nearby saw the entire incident and Marion was very embarrassed. She hurried to the ladies’ room, and wept for a while in an empty cubicle. She knew she should have listened to Eddy and cried off the party altogether. God knows she had the perfect excuse. She could have said she was still in shock and it was half true. But then, Eileen would have been very offended. And if it hadn’t been for Eileen’s quick thinking, they might still be locked in the pink house by the sea, with that madman drinking his way through a hefty supply of wine.
It was so hard to please everyone. Some days, she wondered how she had found the strength to keep going for all these years. Bringing up four children, running her boutique, and keeping the secret of Declan’s real father to herself.
She needed Eddy. Just as much as she loved him. He was such a good and wise man. She was deeply shocked at his display of bad temper.
And she knew that Eddy was right about Johnny. Johnny was insensitive and vain and obsessed with his ballroom, and he dressed like an eccentric, and acted like he was famous. And he did ignore Eddy. That was true as well. Johnny had a smile and a good word for every stranger on the street, but he barely acknowledged Eddy whenever they met.
She was stuck at the main table of this party with everyone clapping for her, and she wasn’t even feeling very well. Her nerves were in tatters. God, she had to get out of here! She would just collect her jacket and handbag, say her goodbyes to Eileen and James, and go straight home. Thank goodness she had refused all those drinks. She longed to feel her trusty car keys in her hand once again!
When she returned to the table, Johnny noticed that she had been crying. He dabbed her eyes with a napkin and gave her a gentle hug. She told Johnny that Eddy had gone home with a migraine. James caught Johnny’s eye, and shook his head.
You’re treading on thin ice
. But Johnny ignored him. It was perfectly acceptable to speak to an old flame at a party. Some of the younger guests came over to the table then, shook hands with everyone, thanked Johnny for the lovely meal, and went home. The majority of the older relatives retired to the bar, to make a night of it. Who knew when they would all be together again? James and Eileen decided to go home and put their feet up. Emily, Eve and Eloise went to the foyer to wait for Declan. Johnny and Marion were left alone in the function room. They chatted for a few minutes, until Marion was sure that Declan and the girls would be on their way home. Then she tried to say goodbye.
‘I’m feeling a little fragile, Johnny. It’s been lovely but I’ll head on now.’
‘Would you like to go for a walk, Marion? To get some fresh air?’
‘No, I’m fine. Thanks, Johnny. I’m going home.’
They stood up and he helped her into her jacket. Johnny gave all the waitresses a tenner each and told them they were great girls, and they were delighted with him. Marion wondered again why he hadn’t used his charm to get himself a wife. Maybe Johnny did derive a certain pleasure from keeping the men of Belfast in a permanent state of anxiety. (That was Eddy’s theory.) As they were going through the foyer, someone called out to them.
‘Mum!’
Johnny and Marion looked up to see Declan standing there with Emily and Eve. His black quiff was the mirror-image of Johnny’s. Johnny said nothing but he looked thoughtfully at Declan, as if seeing him for the first time. There was a tangible silence in the air. Marion’s heart seemed to turn inside out.
‘Eloise is powdering her nose,’ Declan explained. ‘We’re waiting for her.’
‘Declan, I didn’t see you there,’ Marion croaked. ‘Your father’s gone already.’ Surely Johnny hasn’t twigged, she thought. God knows, he’s seen Declan enough times before now in the ballroom.
‘Gone where?’ asked Declan brightly.
‘He went home already,’ said Marion, although her mouth had dried up. The words came out in a husky rasp. A hateful red flush began to burn on her neck, and slowly spread up towards her cheeks. She pulled some of her lovely blonde curls forward in an attempt to hide her blushes, and took her pink tweed jacket off and folded it over her arm. ‘Isn’t it cruelly hot in here?’ she said quietly.
‘Dad went home? Without you?’ The concept was unthinkable to Declan.
‘He had a headache, pet. I didn’t have any wine myself, so I could have taken the girls home. Sorry to bring you out for nothing. I should have thought to call you…’
‘It’s okay, Mum. Are you leaving now, too?’
‘Yes, I am. My car’s just outside.’ She stepped forward and opened one of the heavy glass doors, and a cool breeze flowed in and soothed her bright red face.
‘Give your grandparents my best wishes, Mr Hogan,’ said Declan, politely.
‘Thank you, Declan. I will,’ he said.
Then, Eloise joined the little group and they went out together, laughing and joking.
Johnny turned to Marion. She couldn’t tell if he was even remotely suspicious, or if he could be so self-obsessed that he had never wondered about her pregnancy. But she couldn’t speak to him. Her throat had dried up completely. They waved to Declan and his sisters as they drove away.
When they had gone, Johnny turned to Marion again and said, ‘Is there something wrong?’
‘What do you mean? What could be wrong?’
‘You don’t look well.’
‘That’s a first. You, worrying about my health.’
‘Are you going to faint?’
‘No, I’m exhausted, if you must know. For heaven’s sake, I thought I was going to be killed by that madman. How would you feel?’
She was wondering if she should simply make a dash for the car, and blank out this awful moment from her memory. Oh, why did she leave Eddy in the first place? What had she ever seen in Johnny? And when would the guilt that hung around her neck like a stone, ever go away?
‘Declan doesn’t look like Eddy much, does he?’ said Johnny. ‘He’s a good-looking boy.’
‘Don’t be bitchy, Johnny. It doesn’t suit you.’ She made a huge effort to act normally, putting the pink jacket back on and making for the doors.
‘How long were you married to Greenwood when Declan was born?’
‘Nine months,’ she whispered.
‘Are you sure?’ He was trying to work it out in his head. Was it July, or August or September? He couldn’t remember. But Marion’s horrified expression told him what he wanted to know. He decided to chance it. ‘He’s my son, isn’t he?’
‘No! He’s not. Are you crazy?’
‘Marion, he is. Admit it.’
‘He’s Eddy’s. He was born early, that’s all.’
‘I thought you said nine months?’
‘Oh, God, leave me alone,’ she snapped. ‘What does it matter? You didn’t want to marry me anyway.’
‘So, he is mine?’ There was a lengthy pause.
And then she said, ‘Yes. He is.’
Marion didn’t expect him to cry, but he did. Johnny thought he had no more reserves of emotion left, after the drama of Eileen’s kidnapping. But he had. He staggered out through the hotel doors and stood in the car park with his hands over his face. Tears flowed down his cheeks and soaked his silver-tipped shirt collar. Marion linked arms with him and told him she was sorry, over and over again. The two of them idled round the hotel gardens, and eventually found a little bench in the shelter of a huge oak tree. Johnny wept, and smoked, and wept again. Sometimes his shoulders shook with noisy sobs and sometimes he cried silent tears as he gazed up at the sky.
‘Why?’ he said. ‘God in heaven! Why did you not tell me?’
‘I couldn’t. I was in a pure panic, at the time. I couldn’t think straight.’
‘But,
why
? You knew I would have done the decent thing!’
‘I did not know. You had no notion of getting married. You never even talked about getting engaged. Five years, we were together.’
‘I would have married you. I would have, Marion.’
‘I couldn’t take that chance. Once the news was out, it would be too late to marry anybody. No other man would have wanted an unwed mother, Johnny. And I didn’t want to be alone.’
‘I had a right to know.’
‘Look, I was going to tell you. It was the day of the robbery.’
‘What?’
‘I was all set to tell you. That’s why I came into the ballroom that night. Anyway, the whole place was in chaos for days. You know it was. And afterwards, I lost the courage. Time was running out for me.’
‘I can’t believe it. You should have told me, Marion.’
‘How many times do I have to explain? I couldn’t tell you. You have no idea how hard it is to say those two little words:
I’m pregnant
. Why didn’t
you
notice I was ill? Why is this all my responsibility?’
‘I’m sorry. You were always kind of pale. I didn’t notice.’
‘It’s all in the past,, now, Johnny.’
‘So that’s why you married Greenwood so suddenly. And I thought you were just trying to make me jealous.’
‘Johnny, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t think you’d care. Can’t you see? I dropped all kinds of hints about settling down. You never once picked up on them. You would have made a terrible father, anyway. It was a kind of miracle, when the robbery stopped me from telling you.’
‘How can you say that? We would have made a great couple, Marion. We could have set the world on fire. We could have had a chain of dance halls!’
‘Oh, please! I didn’t want that kind of life, Johnny. Not with a baby on the way. Will you never understand? I wanted a quiet life, and a husband who was at home with me in the evenings.’
‘Did you love Greenwood?’
‘Not in the beginning. Not in the way I loved you.’
‘But, then you did?’
‘Yes. He was so kind. He
knows
me, Johnny. He cares about every little thing I do and feel.’
‘And you still love him?’
‘Yes, I do. More than ever. He’s the gentlest man on the planet. I should never have left him in the first place.’
‘Did he know about the baby?’
‘Of course he did. He could tell I was expecting, just by looking at my face.’
‘And he saw his chance to steal you away from me?’
‘Please, Johnny. It wasn’t like that.’
‘Wasn’t it? The coward! He couldn’t take me on, and fight me for you?’
‘Johnny, where do you get your logic from? You can’t go around beating people up for love. Be reasonable. Would you have given up the ballroom for me? If I’d asked you to?’
‘What else could I have done with my life? It’s the only thing I was good at.’
‘Well, then.’
Johnny lit another cigarette, and sighed. ‘He’s a handsome lad – Declan. He takes that after me.’
‘He is good-looking. And clever, too. He’s going to be a doctor.’
‘Really? That’s great. I knew he was at college but I didn’t know what he was studying. Doctor, eh? He didn’t get his brains from me, then.’
‘He loves music, though. Like you.’