The Barter System (26 page)

Lucas had watched her
silently.  “Good job on that saddle.  No offense but I’ve never seen a girl…a woman,
sorry…saddle her own horse before.”  He made quick work of saddling his own
horse.  She swung up in the saddle smoothly and he followed suit, surprised
again.  The horse pranced a bit but she settled it right down. 

They rode out of the stables
and headed toward the back of the house, walking the horses in silence for a while. 
He headed up a dirt track that looked like it was used for a small truck or
maybe ATV’s.  For a moment, she had a fond memory of Victor and was thankful
for the warmth that filled her heart. 

They’d been riding for more
than an hour when he asked her if she wanted to run them out.  In answer, she
signaled her horse and took off, ponytail flying out behind her.  He watched
her skill for a few seconds before he took off after her. 

She ran hard but didn’t tire
her horse, slowing to a canter as he came alongside.  Her cheeks were pink and
her eyes were sparkling.  “She’s a very good girl,” she said happily.  He led
them around a pond so still it looked like glass, reflecting the mountains on
its’ surface. 

On the back side of the pond
were trees and a rocky area that headed up into more mountainous terrain.  Not
far above the trees she saw what looked to be a cave entrance.  She asked Lucas
and he nodded. 

“Yeah, I keep it clear of
animals.  My sons used to camp there when they were boys.  That’s been years
ago.”  He dismounted and watched as she did the same, landing sure on her
feet.  They tethered the horses near a patch of grass and late-season wild
flowers, close enough to the pond to drink. 

They stood looking out over
his land, his house in the far distance.  She was amazed at the quiet.  “How
old are your sons?” she asked, breaking another long silence that was
unfamiliar but not entirely uncomfortable.

“Nineteen this year. 
They’re both away at college.”  He gave a self-deprecating laugh and added,
“Just a few years younger than you, Riya.” 

“True, and yet my own father
is almost twelve years older than you.”  She winked.  “You must have started
young.”

He nodded, walking to a fat
fallen chunk of tree and sitting down.  “We did actually.  Kay found out she
was pregnant at the end of our junior year of high school.  I married her, of
course.  I promised to take care of her and I did.  Had the boys instead of
going to prom.  Got a job instead of going to college.  Worked hard for a
rancher who gave me more and more responsibility and opportunity.  After three
years, I got a small place, still has a tiny house on it.  Three more years, I
started building the house I still live in.” 

He was quiet for a long time
and she wondered if he was done, when suddenly he said, “She hated it out
here. 
Hated it.
  Wanted nothing to do with cattle or horses or nature. 
But I took care of her and our boys because I promised and I’m a man of my
word.  She was miserable more often than not, angry more than I used to
remember, never happy or laughing or smiling.  I pushed myself harder.  Tried
harder.  Earned more.  Gave her everything I thought she was missing.  Then she
was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer after a stomachache that wouldn’t go
away.  Six weeks later, she was gone.  Those were the hardest six weeks of my
life.

“Riya, I loved that woman
for years when we were growing up.  And every year after I married her I
resented her more.  By the time she was sick, I was tired of her hating me.  I
gave up my dreams for someone who smugly told me while she lay dying that she’d
punched holes in my condoms.  I did what I was expected to do and what I knew
was right.  You play and sometimes you have to pay.  I had my boys, I live in a
house I love on land I love…and she hated all of it.  I changed everything
about my life and my future, to deal with her actions, and she still wasn’t
happy.  Every morning after she was diagnosed, and they told us there was no
hope, I prayed for today…let it be today.  She said the most hateful things. 
The nurse told me it was the pain and the medication, and I might have believed
her if I hadn’t been dealing with the acid for years. 

“I’ve isolated myself and
allowed myself to stay alone and unhappy because I figure I deserve it.  I
wished a woman who bore my children and slept in my bed every night for ten
years to die so I could finally…
finally
have some peace.”

She walked to the log and
sat beside him, hugging him around his back, and putting her head on his
shoulder.  He didn’t touch her and that was alright.  She didn’t mind. 

“I’m sorry you were a good
man caught in a bad situation.  I think you’ve lashed yourself enough for your
supposed sins.  I think you already know that, but you feel bad.  Part of you
wants to feel guilty, to be punished for what you think you did wrong.  The
first ten years you were living for your wife.  The next eight, you lived for
your boys who’d lost their mother.  For the past year, you’ve been going
through the motions, knowing you had to let it go because there was no reason
for you to punish yourself anymore.  You kept your vows as a man and as a
husband.  Your excuses are gone.  Now what?” she asked, honestly curious. 

Her heart gave three light
beats and then she was over his lap with hands around her and his face buried
against her chest.  Her arms went around him and she laid her cheek on his soft
hair. 

He broke as she knew he
would and she held him.  “I’m so sorry, Lucas.  That you lost out your original
dreams, but you built an amazing Plan B.  Talk about lemonade from lemons.  And
your boys did get to go to college and chase their dreams because of the life
you built for them.” 

She stroked his hair, and
hugged him, all the while talking and soothing.  “Such a strong man suffering
alone for so long.  Let it all go and start over now, Lucas.”  She was hurting
for him.  It caused her to lift his face so she could look into his dark eyes. 
His face was damp and she kissed him while she dried his cheeks with her thumbs. 

She kissed him for a long
time, running her hands from his face through his hair and down his neck, then
back again.  Her lips were gentle on his, soothing not seeking.

She knew the moment
everything washed from him.  His hands came up in her hair, pulling the clip
from it and gliding his hands through it as it fell around her.  Lucas’ grip
went to the back of her head and he tilted her as he deepened their kiss.  His
tongue licked over her lower lip and Riya opened for him, inviting him in
without pressure. 

He slid into her mouth and
she gently touched her tongue to his.  Suddenly everything was harder, more
urgent.  His lips and teeth worked over her, his tongue dueling hers.

One hand was on her thigh,
gripping the muscle.  It was sliding up to her hip.  Higher to her waist
beneath the open jacket.  Her rib cage, just under her breast.  His other hand
was on her back under the jacket, tracing from her shoulders to her low back. 

He broke their kiss and
dropped his forehead to her sternum rolling back and forth.  “All my good
intentions and I want you like I’m fucking fourteen.  Groping you in a field
for god’s sake.”

“Technically, you haven’t
groped me yet, but if you’d like to, I certainly won’t object.  Nor will you
get a guilt trip from me…I can’t vouch that you won’t beat yourself up later
though.”  Riya smiled, “I think you’re much harder on yourself than anyone else
would dream of being on you.  How about cutting you some slack?”       

He lifted her until she was
straddling his hips.  She picked up her knees and let her legs drop over the
tree he sat on, bringing her flush against his groin.  He lifted his head to
look at her, watching her. 

Lucas moved both his hands
up her ribcage and over her breasts.  Her nipples tightened instantly and her
thighs flinched.  She watched him steadily, letting him see every way her body
was responding.  She could feel her heart beginning to race and her breathing
was coming a little faster.  Her hands were inside his jacket on his chest. 
Now she moved them up and over her shoulders.  She rubbed the tense muscles
there then scraped both hands up his neck and into his hair.  She was kneading
his scalp and slightly tugging the strands. 

“Lucas?” she started
quietly, “I have a game I’ve played since I was a kid to overcome fear.  I hate
being afraid, so no matter what the situation, I say to myself, ‘what’s the
worst that can happen’ and then I really think about it.  When I was planning
this project, I had a few things in the ‘worst’ column, but none of them were
‘making love to a good-looking, strong man who so obviously finds you
attractive, has a raging hard-on, and wants to have wild animal sex outside’. 
That would be firmly in the pro column, in case you’re wondering.”  

“Wild animal sex…?  God,
Riya, you are too much.”  He looked up and kissed her chin.  “I’m the oldest
guy in this thing, aren’t I?”

“Yup.”  She smiled at his
groan.  “Wanna know why you shouldn’t worry?”  He sighed against her breasts
and she laughed, “Well, first of all, I cannot tell you how many times I’ve
masturbated to the image of Sam Elliot since I was a teenager.” 

He snorted loudly.  “I know,
my best friend thought I was weird, but there you have it…you can’t fight your
personal kink.  Second of all, you’re all cowboy and rugged and I believe I
mentioned the wild animal sex was firmly in the pro column?  Yeah, I’ve
recently gotten a small outdoor experience and I find it is very exhilarating. 
You have lots of outdoors…lots of experience.  I like the equation.” 

When he lifted his face to
her, he was smiling, “Oh shit, what a gorgeous smile.  Third, you have
dimples.”  She did an unconscious shimmy against him and felt him twitch
against her. 

“You also appear to be
packing heat.  I’m so curious.”  She tilted her head at him and he chuckled. 

“Riya, you are
incorrigible.  I couldn’t make it six hours sticking to my guns.  Pathetic
control.”

“Fourth point,
control…three-point-five was the record to beat,” she told him seriously.

“You are fucking kidding
me.  What was the shortest time?”  Lucas was staring at her incredulously.

She thought of Joshua who’d
had her not only groped but full Monty fast enough to make her dizzy.  Ah,
sweet Joshua.  “Thirty-six minutes, including transportation, unloading of
baggage and tour of facilities.”

“Had to be early
twenties…that’s when we men have no concept of not fucking a beautiful woman.” 
When she did nothing but smile, he groaned again, “Please…please do not tell me
you came directly here from the twenty-something?”  Her face was filled with genuine
amusement.  “Oh,
fuck me
.”

“I’m trying to,” she said
seriously, “but you want to spoil your mood by comparing yourself to other
men.”  She leaned forward and kissed him hard, her fists in his hair, and her
legs locking at his low back.  She rubbed her chest against his.  “Let me break
it down for you, Lucas.  I am here with you and I want to spend time with you
and talk to you and be with you in every way.  Those subjects already had their
time, don’t give them yours.” 

“Agreed,” he gripped her ass,
then groaned again.  “Shit, I forgot condoms, totally out of practice.  We have
to get back.”  She was off his lap and mounted on her mare in about thirty
seconds, hauling ass down the track towards the trail. 

For a minute, he had to simply
watch her.  He’d loosened her hair and it flew behind her completely free and
primal. 

Then he was sending his own
horse in a mad chase.  They ended up getting to the stables within a minute of
one another, but she already had her saddle loose. 

As he slid to the ground, he
pulled her saddle off and stuck it on the bar.  Lucas went to uncinch his own
saddle and put it with the other.  She had the blankets on the bench as she
dried and brushed the horses.  He put feed in their stalls and took dry saddle
blankets in to spread out and cover them with.  Leading them to their stalls,
both were impatient. 

They raced to the house and
she slid in the same mud again, Lucas catching her up and setting her on the
porch.  He backed her into the mud room and down on the farmers bench, then hung
their jackets up.  He tugged off her boots then sat and tugged off his own
while she took off running.