The Battle Lord Saga 02 - Her Battle Lord's Desire (28 page)

“No. I’m saying the chances of Atty bearing a living child are very slim. She has the

family history of multiple miscarriages. In fact, there’s not one female of child bearing age, of the

ones married or trying to conceive, who haven’t had at least one loss.” MaGrath lifted his chin.

“After the way I blew up last night, I wanted to tell you I was sorry. I had no business ragging on

you and Atty the way I did, but I wasn’t thinking straight at the time. Damn verbossa. I should

have explained myself further. Well, I’m explaining now. If you take Atty off the contraceptive,

Yulen, she may conceive, but it’ll be a miracle if she ever gives you a child who’ll live beyond his

first birthday. And it won’t be her fault.”

Yulen nodded slowly as the man’s words sunk in. “She mentioned last night about seeing

women dying in childbirth.”

“That’s not uncommon, either,” admitted the physician. “They’ve lost three in the past

two years. Add the destruction we brought as Cleaners, and you can see how great their anger

and frustration runs.”

He watched as the Battle Lord rubbed his forehead in consternation. It was clear the man

was upset by the news. “It makes a lot more sense to me now,” MaGrath added.

“What does?”

“Why Atty is terrified. It also explains why she says she doesn’t know the first thing about

being a mother. It’s because she’s never been around that many. She’s never seen what real

motherhood entails, not in the same way we’re used to seeing it. For all we know, the idea of

becoming pregnant and having a baby is like a game of chance. Put the right card on the table,

and you live, but you lose the baby. Put another card on the table, and you just might give birth,

but the child dies soon after. Another card, and the baby lives. But have the wrong card dealt to

you...”

“And you die,” Yulen said quietly. “Oh, God, Liam. Now I feel like...” He glanced up to

see his reactions and feelings mirrored on the physician’s face.

“Now I can see why she wants to put off trying to have a baby,” MaGrath said softly.

“She wants to have as much time with you as she can before she tries. Because if she should

happen to not make it...” His words faded away, leaving behind the stark and hopeless possibility

of a future without her.

A coldness came over Yulen, one where he could actually feel the blood draining out of

his face. His skin seemed to tighten over his bones, shrinking inward until his insides felt

mummified. “I want to spend the rest of my life with her,” he managed to whisper.

“I know.”

“I...I can’t lose her. Not now. Not after all we’ve been through.”

“I know.”

“I won’t put her through that. I won’t chance it. I can’t. Even if it means the end of my

line.”

MaGrath grimaced, but he understood. “I know.”

“Have you said anything to Atty since last night?”

MaGrath shook his head. “I saw her for only a moment this morning when she brought

me the montrosse leaf. I haven’t been able to catch her since then. I was hoping I could at least

talk with you. And hope you’d give her my apologies.” He smiled. “And a thank you for the

hangover leaf.”

He started to walk away when Yulen called to him. “Where are you going?”

“I was summoned a few minutes ago to go check out one of the men who tried to fillet his

hand with a wood awl. Would you also give Atty my love when you see her?”

“I will.”

Yulen watched the man hurry off as Atty’s confession from the night before still rang in

his ears.

I had to come to a decision, so I made the only one my heart would let me make. I’m

putting myself completely in your hands. And I pray that if I have a child, you’ll help me to

protect it. And love it. And teach me to be the kind of mother I need to be.

Groaning softly, he turned and returned to the courtyard to find his wife and relay

MaGrath’s messages to her. And to apologize. All this time, when he had been selfishly

demanding she give herself to him and start a family, she had been facing the possibility of

committing the ultimate sacrifice. Once again he had stopped thinking of Atty as a Mutah, and it

had almost cost him his most precious possession.

Atty glanced up from where she stood serving the soldiers from behind the long table, to

see her husband striding purposefully toward her. At first she thought there was something

wrong until she got a better look at his face. She’d seen that expression only one other time in

her life—the day she had returned to Alta Novis. On MaGrath’s and Madigan’s wedding day.

On the day Karv had tried to claim the compound for his own, and she had killed the man without

a second thought. Then she had fallen to her knees before her husband and tried to convince him

she was still alive. That she still loved him. That she had come back to him, and nothing would

ever tear them apart again. His eyes had stared at her then with that same dead, terrified, lost

expression.

He swept over to the table and literally grabbed her by the wrist, jerking her away from

the serving line, away from the stares of everyone eating or waiting to be served. Atty half-ran,

half-stumbled to keep up with him as he drew her away from the crowd, finally stopping near the

old, enormous tree she’d carved her name into years ago.

Twirling her around to face him, he bent over at the waist, hands on his thighs, as he tried

to catch his breath while she waited. Before long he raised his face to look at her. “Forgive me.”

“For what?” She started to wrack her brain, trying to think of what he might have done

that would bring about such an apology.

“For not understanding.”

She gave him a puzzled look. “Understanding about what? Yulen, are you okay?”

“Liam explained to me about the birth rate among your people.”

“So?”

It then dawned on him why she had such a casual attitude. She really didn’t understand

herself. “Atty, the birth rate in Wallis has been steadily declining over the last few decades.”

“I know that.”

“Atty,” He shook his head. “That’s not normal. For the number of women here who are

capable of bearing children, there should be at least five to ten babies born a year. For the past

twenty years, there’s been about one birth a year in Wallis.”

“What do you mean, that’s not normal?” She gave a little laugh, as if he were joking with

her. “How many babies were born this year in Alta Novis?”

“Twenty-six so far,” he told her.

Atty’s mouth opened in astonishment. “Twenty...”

“Six. Although Liam expects the number to climb to thirty by the end of the year.”

“Oh, but there’s nearly three times the number of people living there.”

“Atty, there are just over four hundred plus citizens living there. There’s another four

hundred soldiers. Do the percentages.”

“What are you trying to tell me, Yulen?”

“Do your people know they’re a dying race?”

“Yes,” she nodded slowly. “We’ve known for years. It’s probably why the caste finally

allowed me to join. Every bow is needed in times of danger or famine.”

She watched as his anger briefly boiled. “When will you get it through that thick skull of

yours that the reason they let you join was because you’re a hundred times better than they would

ever be?” he hissed hotly. “Woman or not, they couldn’t turn away the greatest hunter they’d

ever seen.”

They continued to look into each other’s eyes, until Atty walked up to him and laid her

head against his chest. She could hear the steady beat of his heart against her ear. “What does

this have to do with us?” she asked him carefully.

“Maybe nothing. Maybe everything.” He reached up to stroke her hair, knowing how

the gesture could soothe her as it also calmed him.

Maybe everything.
She leaned back to look up at him. “You’re talking about having a

baby,” she stated frankly.

“Yes.”

“I thought we were finished talking about it. At least, for now.”

“For now,” he echoed, placing a kiss to her forehead. “Have you eaten yet?”

“No. I was serving the men while I waited for you.”

“I need to run to the tent for a moment. Want to go ahead and get us a couple of plates?”

She nodded. “Don’t be long.”

They parted, unaware of the whispers and stares from those who had witnessed their

conversation. Little did the couple know that in the short time they had been at Wallis, both

Normals and Mutah had exchanged every tidbit of gossip and information they had about the

giant blond warrior with the scarred face, and the courtship and marriage he shared with the blue-

haired huntress.

Yulen’s men now knew as much as they could about her early days in Alta Novis. And

the citizens of Wallis were aware of the instance when she shot out the three simultaneous targets.

About her kidnapping and rescue from the brutal Battle Lord of Bearinger, whom she killed

during her escape. About her being poisoned on their way home, and how D’Jacques wedded her

just prior to the Mutah army’s attack on the compound. And about how she was brought back to

Wallis, where she recovered as she begged to be returned to her husband.

It was as juicy and as exciting as any tale they had every read or heard, except this was

real, and it was now. Plus they happened to be right in the middle of it, right where they could

analyze every move, every look, and every overheard word.

Now the rumors were flying thick and fast that the Battle Lady either didn’t want children,

or wasn’t able to have children. No matter which problem lay at the root, it was causing friction

between her and the Battle Lord. Such friction did not bode well for either compound. But they

had no choice but to watch, and wait, and hope things would work out for the better.

* * * *

Mastin glanced up in shock as two plates landed on the table in front of him, and both the

Battle Lord and Lady took their places on the bench across from where he was sitting.

“Give me a report, Cole,” Yulen ordered with a grin as he began to dig into his potatoes.

“Report?”

“You have us thoroughly spooked,” Atty giggled. “We can’t do anything now without

wondering when and where you’re going to pop up to interrupt us.”

“So we thought we’d save you the time and trouble, and just show up. What’s new,

Cole? Anything I need to be aware of?”

Mastin blushed, at a loss for something to say. “There’s really nothing new, Sir. We went

on a sweep yesterday as you ordered, but found no sign that the Bloods may still be around, or

might be returning. There’s fresh spoor in the wood, however, meaning game is returning to the

area. The only thing I can think of at the moment that’s been relayed recently to me is that the

men are wondering how much longer we’ll be staying in Wallis.”

“Are the men uncomfortable here?” Yulen asked guardedly.

“Not as far as I can tell. They just would like to get home before the weather makes it too

difficult to travel.”

“He’s got a point,” Atty mentioned. “This far into the forest, once the snows begin, we’ll

be pretty much socked in.”

“Then I need to get as much as I can arranged so that the Council can handle the

reconstruction on their own after we leave. But I’m also planning on leaving behind a small force

for their protection. Cole, how many unattached men do we have in this battalion?”

His Second did a quick mental tabulation. “Probably about half, give or take.”

“A hundred men. That should suffice. Perfect. Cole, get word around about the

reassignment coming up. In the meantime, if any of those scheduled to remain behind give you

any doubts as to whether or not they’ll be able to handle staying for the duration of the winter, let

me know who they are. They may have to return with us, but I don’t want that to be the norm.”

“They’ll be staying through the winter?” Atty asked her husband.

“Yeah. They’ll have to. In the meantime, besides providing extra defense, they can help

with the hunting and the rebuilding. Cole, let them know it’ll be a six month stay, or until the

spring thaw. When it comes, I’ll be bringing another squad back here. At that time the Council

will let me know if my banner will become a permanent part of this compound, or if they’re going

to go their own way.”

“Got it,” Mastin acknowledged. “Anything else?”

“Yeah. Don’t forget what the sword in the doorway means,” Yulen said quietly, never

taking his eyes off his plate.

Mastin, however, turned a bright red and hastily excused himself. Atty watched him go as

a thought dawned on her.
He’d tilted his head in that way she knew he had whenever he was

thinking. Or listening.
Her eyes widened. “Cole came to the door flap this morning! That’s

what you heard! How did you know it was him and not someone else?”

“I didn’t. Not for sure, anyway, until now.”

Atty covered her mouth as she began to giggle. Yulen glanced sideways at her and

grinned. Whatever Cole had heard, it served the young man right. Chances were he would be

especially cautious in the future about interrupting or disturbing them when they were alone.

They got up together to take their empty plates back to where the women were cleaning