The Bells of Bow (60 page)

‘Do you know something?’ Evie stood up. This time she took a step towards him. ‘I never thought I’d say this, but I don’t care if he ain’t, Dad. I don’t care if he ain’t got a bean. See, I really love him. He’s the only man I’ve ever loved.’ She suddenly giggled. ‘I can’t believe I’m saying it but I don’t give a toss if he’s broke.’

‘You …’ Georgie held up both his hands. ‘I don’t know what to call yer.’ He slumped back into his chair. ‘Well, I ain’t signing no papers or giving no permission. And that’s final.’

Eve stood there with her mouth open.

‘And I know that I have to for you to go. One of the blokes down the station, his niece just went through it all. So don’t think I don’t know what I’m talking about.’

Eve stared down at him. ‘There’ll be a way round it.’

‘Well, I’ll make sure there ain’t. You just wait and see if I don’t.’

Evie’s hands balled into fists and she exploded. ‘How can yer do this to me?’ she screamed. ‘How can yer?’

Babs grabbed hold of her to try and stop her, but she was possessed.

‘You should know what it’s like to be hurt,’ she shrieked. ‘When Mum run off it nearly killed yer. Yer jealous, that’s your trouble. And you always have been, any time anyone’s got a chance of a bit of happiness.’

Georgie leapt from the chair and raised his hand. He just stopped himself from smacking it across her face. ‘Don’t you understand,’ he hissed at her through his clenched jaws. ‘Yer stupid little mare. I’m trying to protect yer. Look at the state yer got in last time.’

‘But this is
different
.’ Evie’s hollering started Flash off barking at the back door.

Babs was frantic. They wouldn’t stop yelling, and now the dog was going mad as well.

Georgie was breathing faster and faster as he tried to get control of himself. ‘Look, I don’t wanna upset you, Eve, I just don’t want yer getting a knock back from this geezer, whoever he is. I don’t wanna see yer breaking yer heart over some bloke yer know nothing about.’

‘Please,’ Babs begged them. ‘Stop it.’ She had to shut them up before Harry heard them.

It was too late. Just as Georgie grabbed hold of Eve and shouted, ‘What’s the matter with you, Evie? How can you even think of going away to America?’ the kitchen door opened and Harry was standing there, holding his head with one hand and his boots in the other.

‘Going away to America, Eve? But all those letters you sent me. I don’t understand.’

Evie and Georgie both shut up and turned to stare at the intruder.

‘What?’ said Evie, her face screwed up in confusion.

‘Who are you?’ Georgie demanded. ‘What the hell are you doing here in my house?’

Babs went over to the doorway and touched him on the arm. ‘This is Harry, remember?’

‘Eve?’ Harry implored her.

‘Look, please, everyone sit down.’ Babs was shaking. ‘I’m gonna run Betty next door, then I’ll explain everything.’

Babs was gone for barely a couple of minutes and, as soon as she returned, she tried to explain herself to Harry as she had promised.

‘So you’re telling me that Betty ain’t yours?’ Harry stared at Babs’s mouth as though she was speaking in a foreign language of which he only grasped one or two words.

Babs swallowed hard. ‘That’s right. Betty ain’t my daughter. She’s Evie’s. And I’m not even married, Harry, let alone to a husband in a prisoner-of-war camp.’

‘And it was
you
I’ve been writing to, not Evie?’

Babs nodded. ‘I just signed meself Evie, that was all.’

‘That’s all?’ He shook his head in disbelief. ‘But what made yer do it?’

‘That was my fault in some ways,’ said Evie casually. ‘I was the one who pretended that I was single and everything, ’cos I fancied yer and wanted to make sure yer wasn’t interested in Babs. But it turned out that she was the one who liked yer best after all, ’cos when yer started writing to me, I was seeing someone else. But Babs didn’t wanna have yer disappointed, and said I should write. But I couldn’t be bothered, so she did it instead. I think it was quite nice of her, really. I dunno what yer so upset about.’

‘Yer dunno why I’m so upset? I don’t understand this. Yer tell me yer a married woman, or a widow, I should say, with a baby. And just because yer fancied a few nights out with me, yer tell all these lies. And now yer talking calmly about going off to America?’ Harry shook his head in disbelief. ‘I pity that kid of yours. She’ll be dragged from pillar to post, I can just see it.’

Evie shrugged. ‘Maybe she don’t have to go with me.’

‘I don’t think I understand this either.’ Georgie stood up and walked over to the back door. ‘I need some air.’

‘I’m disgusted with yer.’ Harry bent down to pull on his boots.

‘I feel sick.’ Babs stared at the dull red lino; her head was swimming.

Evie nodded towards Babs. ‘Why don’t yer give her a chance, Harry, eh?’ she urged him, flashing her best smile.

‘Leave me alone, the pair of yer.’ Harry stood up and walked out, slamming the street door behind him.

‘Now look what yer’ve done,’ Babs sobbed and ran upstairs to the bedroom.

Georgie didn’t turn to face Evie when he spoke; he didn’t trust himself to. He just said quietly, ‘Go up to her. See if yer can make up for some of the trouble yer’ve caused her.’

‘I ain’t had no sleep since yesterday,’ she complained, and dragged herself up the stairs.

She went in the bedroom. Babs was sprawled out on the unmade bed sobbing. Quietly Evie sat down next to her.

‘I’ve got something to say, Babs,’ she began. ‘And I want yer to listen to me.’ She took a deep breath. ‘I ain’t cut out for this motherhood lark. You have to understand that. Well, yer don’t have to, but I’d like yer to. I love Betty, course I do, but like a little sister, not like she was me own child. I’m gonna marry Ray whatever anyone says. No one’s gonna stand in me way, not even Betty.’

Babs was still sobbing, her face buried in the pillow.

‘I know you love her different to how I ever could. I just can’t feel that way for her. I dunno. You’re the one who’s been bringing her up, I just never got attached to her in the same way that you did.’ She went over to the dressing table and searched through the top drawer for a packet of cigarettes. She tapped one on the back of her hand and then lit it. ‘Don’t hate me, Babs.’

Babs pulled herself up and sat on the edge of the bed. ‘How could you even think of leaving her behind, Eve? Tell me. I love Betty and I can’t bear the thought of yer taking her away from me, but she’s
yours
, Eve. Your child.’ She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. ‘I can’t believe yer saying these things.’

Evie inhaled deeply on her cigarette and slowly blew the smoke from her nostrils. ‘And I can’t believe how much I love Ray. The thought of him going back to America without me, I can’t stand it.’

‘Why can’t you take Betty with yer?’

‘No. I can’t. I’m going to start again. Forget all this.’

‘Forget? Listen to me, Eve, yer know I’d keep her, willingly. I love her more than I can explain. But you’re her mother. You’d regret it for the rest of yer life.’

‘You reckon, do yer?’

‘Yeah. Think of what Mum did to us. How we felt when she run off with that bloke.’

Evie shook her head slowly. ‘Don’t try and make me feel guilty, Babs.’

‘Look, don’t you get the feeling, the feeling that yer there to protect her and that yer’d do anything, give up everything for her?’

‘No.’

‘No? Just no?’

‘I wanna make something of meself.’

Babs wiped her eyes on her sleeve. ‘You’ll never learn, will yer, Eve? They were dreams we had as kids at the pictures. It’s not real. No one really comes along and sweeps yer off yer feet.’

Evie ground out the cigarette in the glass tray on the dressing table. ‘I wasn’t cut out to have kids, Babs, and that’s that.’

‘That’s that? But you’ve had her now, she’s a living, breathing child.’

‘Babs, don’t. Don’t do this to me.’

‘Don’t do this to you? How about
me
? How about
my
problems? How about Betty? And Dad?’

Evie looked at her lap and shrugged. ‘I don’t care, Babs. I don’t care about no one and nothing but being with Ray. And I don’t care how long it takes to get all this sorted out, but I’m going with him. I’m gonna marry him and be his wife in America. And I’m sorry if it don’t suit yer, but that’s all there is to it.’

It was three o’clock in the afternoon, and Maudie was in number six, sitting at the table in the front room with the Bell family, looking at the remains of the Christmas dinner. But it could hardly have been called a celebration meal, as the food had hardly been touched. Since Evie had made her announcement in October about marrying Ray and going off to America, things had gone from bad to worse, and now the atmosphere in the house was so tense that practically every time the twins spoke to each other, yet another row began.

Maud was doing her best to make some sort of conversation but she was running out of topics.

‘Have you heard the news about Terry Simpkins?’ she asked. ‘It looks as if he might be called up soon. Blanche is really worried. She says it’s bad enough having Mary fretting over Micky being in the army, without having something else to worry about.’

‘She should think herself lucky if that’s all she’s got to worry about,’ said Evie, pushing the Brussels sprouts round her plate with her knife. She sighed dramatically. ‘Christmas! I should be happy, not miserable like this. Just because I’ve got the pluck to try and better meself, none of yer can stand it, can yer? None of yer. And you all want me to be miserable.’

Georgie got up and threw some more wood on the fire. ‘You’re not the only one who’s suffering, Eve,’ he said.

‘Yeah,’ agreed Babs. ‘How about me?’

‘Aw gawd,’ wailed Eve. ‘You ain’t still going on about that Harry Taylor, are yer?’

Babs didn’t answer her twin, instead she looked at Maudie. ‘I’ve been thinking about joining the Land Army, Maud.’

‘Oh,’ said Maudie, defeated in her search for a more suitable reply.

Evie didn’t have that problem. ‘Don’t talk so stupid,’ she sneered. ‘What would you do in the Land Army? I can just see yer milking cows and making hay. I know what your game is, yer just saying that so yer can get out of having Betty ’cos yer think it’ll stop me going to America with Ray. Yer pathetic, all of yer.’

Betty watched Evie run out of the room and go stomping up the stairs. ‘Evie’s cross,’ she said, her eyes wide and serious. She clambered down from the table, sat on the mat in front of the fire, and proudly showed Flash the dolly that Maudie had given her for her Christmas present.

Georgie rubbed his hands over his face. ‘It ain’t right,’ he said, ‘that baby keep hearing all these rows.’

Maudie stood up and began stacking the plates. ‘Come on, George. Help me with the washing up.’

Babs stood up to help.

‘No, Babs,’ Maudie said. ‘It’s all right, you sit down. We can do it. It was a lovely meal. Thank you.’

In the kitchen, Maudie put the dirty plates on the table, took down the apron from the hook behind the door and put it on over her dress. ‘I want to speak to you, George,’ she said. ‘And I want you to listen to me without getting yourself all upset. All right?’

‘All right.’

‘Things aren’t always straightforward, George.’ She filled the kettle at the sink.

‘You don’t have to tell me that, ‘I live with them two, remember.’

‘Some women just can’t feel motherly towards a child. And you mustn’t blame Evie for being like that. I’m sure that there are reasons for the way she’s acting with Betty, and I’m also sure that she wished she knew what they were. But try not to judge her, George. She really is suffering. Anyone can see that.’

Georgie scraped the leftovers onto an enamel plate and whistled for Flash to come and get the scraps. The dog came lolloping into the kitchen. Georgie opened the back door to put the food down for her in the yard. A bitter wind whipped round his legs. He shivered. ‘That snow’s falling again.’ He pulled Flash back inside and put her plate down in the corner. ‘Yer might as well eat it in here, girl,’ he said, running his hand down the dog’s silky back. ‘No point us all suffering.’

‘You’re right, George,’ Maudie said, lifting the kettle from the stove and filling the bowl. ‘There isn’t. There’s enough suffering in this world without us adding to it. And, especially at a time like this, we should all try and make the best of things. Try and make something good out of what could so easily turn sour.’

Georgie handed Maud the plates.

‘We have to grab happiness where we can, George. Surely that’s something that these terrible wars have taught us. Surely.’

Georgie took his tobacco from his pocket and rolled himself a cigarette. ‘I know you’ve always had a soft spot for my girls, Maud, but I don’t know how yer can keep yer temper with ’em lately. I feel like I could strangle the pair of ’em.’

Maud smiled at him over her shoulder. ‘You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t. But why don’t you give them a chance? They’ve had a hard time, George. They’ve grown up without a mother, and lived through this war when they should have been young and fancy free.’

Babs coughed. She was standing in the kitchen doorway with Betty. ‘I thought I’d go up to see if Evie’s all right. I brought Betty in here ’cos I didn’t wanna leave her with the fire.’

Georgie held out his arms to his little granddaughter. ‘You’ll be all right with us, won’t yer, babe?’

Upstairs in the front bedroom, Babs found Evie sprawled across the bed, crying bitterly into the pillow.

Babs sat down next to her and gently stroked her hair. ‘I’ve never had it from yer straight, Evie, but Albie used to hit yer didn’t he?’

She pushed Babs’s hand away. ‘Leave me alone, I don’t wanna talk about the no-good bastard. I wouldn’t be in this mess now if it wasn’t for him.’

‘I know,’ Babs soothed her. ‘I know. But he did, didn’t he? When yer used to make up them stories about how yer hurt yerself, that was him doing it to yer all the time, wasn’t it?’

Evie sat up. ‘Yeah.’ She looked at Babs, her lovely face blotchy from weeping. ‘I was a mug and I let the useless, bullying bastard belt the living daylights out of me. Satisfied?’