The Best of Daughters (35 page)

Daisy looked round the room with a sinking heart.
So this was where Ruby had come to hide the shame of giving birth to an illegitimate child. A single bed occupied one wall and a china chamber pot was stowed beneath a rickety table with a broken leg propped up on a brick. From the overpowering smell of urine Daisy could only suppose that Gert had availed herself of the facilities. A small pine table was placed beneath the window with two mismatched wooden chairs, and the only other piece of furniture was a chest of drawers on top of which was a gas ring, a kettle, and an enamel wash bowl.

The baby had quietened as Ruby continued to soothe him gently. ‘It's not much of a place,' she said defensively. ‘But it's clean and it's cheap.'

Daisy swallowed hard. ‘I can see that you've kept it nice, Ruby.' She moved towards the window, looking out through the grimy panes at the shunting yard below. ‘Why didn't you get in touch? I could have helped you.'

‘I was carrying his baby. You fancied him too, whether you care to admit it or not.'

It was no use pretending otherwise. Daisy could not look her in the eyes and deny the emotions that had caused her so much heartache and soul-searching, and still did if she were to be completely honest. ‘You're right, of course,' she murmured. ‘I'm not proud of myself, but like you I suppose I just can't help it.'

‘Can't?' Ruby said suspiciously. ‘You sound as though it's still going on. Are you seeing him again?'

Daisy turned slowly to face her. ‘Not exactly. I'll tell you about it, but first see to your baby. Poor little
fellow, he seems to have had a bad day.' She moved closer, drawn by the instinctive need to look at Bowman's son. ‘How old is he, and what's his name?'

‘His name is Martin,' Ruby said, glaring at her. ‘What's the matter? Do you think that's too grand a name for a little bastard, or did you think I'd name him after Barnaby? Well, I wouldn't saddle my kid with the sins of his father. My boy is Martin Flagg and he's seven months old. As far as I'm concerned Bowman is dead.'

‘But you loved him, didn't you?'

‘I dunno. I wouldn't call it love exactly and he never pretended that he loved me, but he made me feel special and I couldn't say no. Does that make me a tart? Maybe it does, but I've paid for my mistake.'

‘I am so sorry, Ruby. But you have a beautiful baby boy. May I hold him?'

Ruby's grim expression melted into a smile. ‘Of course, but he whiffs a bit. Maybe you'd best wait until I've changed him.'

‘I'm sure I've smelt worse than that,' Daisy said, chuckling. ‘I've looked after soldiers with dysentery and typhoid. I don't think that Martin's number twos would bother me.'

‘Why don't you put the kettle on?' Ruby said, laying Martin on the bed as she prepared to change him. ‘I could do with a cup of tea. There should be water in the jug, but if not I'm afraid you'll have to go downstairs. There's a cold water tap in the back kitchen.'

Luckily the kettle was full which saved Daisy a trip to the nether regions of the building. She lit the gas and put the kettle on the ring. ‘You can't stay here,'
she said firmly. ‘This is a dreadful place and you're obviously working yourself to the bone.'

Ruby kept her head down, concentrating on the task in hand. ‘I don't mind being a Gladys. The pay isn't marvellous but I get quite a lot of tips.'

‘A Gladys?' Daisy stared at her in amazement. ‘I thought you were a waitress.'

‘I am. A Gladys is what they call us girls who wait on table at Lyons Corner House. I don't know where it came from, but there it is.'

‘Well, you can't keep this up, and that foul woman shouldn't be left in charge of a dog let alone a baby.'

‘I know, and I agree with you. I'm not letting her near Martin again.'

‘So how will you manage?'

Ruby fastened the scraps of towelling with a safety pin, and lifted Martin to a sitting position. ‘I'll be glad when I don't have to do this any more,' she said, pulling a face. ‘It'll be so much easier when he can use the lavvy.'

‘It must be so difficult for you to manage on your own,' Daisy said sympathetically.

‘I can't imagine what my life would be like without him now.' Ruby dropped a kiss on Martin's head. ‘I love him so much, Daisy. I'd do anything for my boy.'

‘Then you must put him first. Forget everything that went on before and come home with me.'

Ruby's eyes widened in surprise. ‘What? Go back to Rainbow's End? Your mother wouldn't like that.'

‘Things are different now,' Daisy said, choking back a sob. ‘Teddy was killed at Ypres.'

‘I'm so sorry.' Ruby's eyes filled with tears. ‘I had a lot of time for Mr Teddy. He used to pull my leg about being a skivvy, but I knew he didn't really mean it. Why do the good ‘uns have to die and the bastards live on? I suppose you'll tell me next that Bowman is alive and well.' The baby had begun to grizzle and she undid the buttons of her blouse, putting him to her breast.

Daisy was saved from answering as the kettle had started to bubble and she set about making the tea. There was no milk but she poured the brew into two cups and added a little sugar. She set one down on a stool beside Ruby. ‘I'll tell you about it sometime, but not now. We've got more important things to discuss.' She gazed round the sparsely furnished room. ‘This isn't for you, Ruby. Come home with me tomorrow and I can guarantee that Mother will welcome you with open arms.'

Ruby reached for her cup and took a sip of tea. ‘And what if she don't? It's one thing for me to turn up on me own, but I've got Martin to think of. Mrs Lennox wouldn't have him in the house and I'm not being separated from my baby.'

‘I think you're underestimating the situation at Rainbow's End,' Daisy said gently. ‘Beatrice is going to marry Jimmy Gurney and I'm only on compassionate leave. I've got to return to France very soon. Mother doesn't know one end of a saucepan from another, and it's hard to get staff these days. The village girls can earn good money working in factories, and they simply don't want to go into service. Lady
Pendleton told me that herself. They're even having difficulty with hiring servants at the big house. So you see, Ruby, we really do need you.'

‘Are you sure of that?'

‘I'm absolutely certain. Please come with me, Ruby. I'm leaving early tomorrow morning. Just say the word and I'll meet you on the station platform.'

Ruby put her head on one side, frowning thoughtfully. ‘I suppose it would be better for my boy to be brought up in the country. But everyone in the village would know he was Barnaby's kid.'

‘Not necessarily, and I don't think any of us will see Bowman again.'

‘You mean he might not come back from the war?'

‘I think I'd better tell you everything, and then you can decide for yourself.'

Exhausted both emotionally and physically, Daisy took a taxi back to Grosvenor Square. It was extravagant and took almost all the money she had left, but she could not face travelling on public transport, and she needed to see Rupert before she returned to the country. There were things that had been left unsaid and she did not want to send him back to the Front thinking that she cared so little for him. Her talk with Ruby had put everything into perspective. They had both been snared by similar emotions and allowed themselves to be charmed by a man who thought only of himself. She had to find Rupert and tell him that she refused to break off their engagement, and that she would wait for him no matter how long the wretched war went on.

She paid the cabby and ran up the steps to the front entrance, hammering on the knocker as if her life depended upon it. Sedgwick answered her urgent summons at his own measured pace. She brushed past him. ‘Is Mr Rupert at home?'

He closed the door. ‘I'm sorry, Miss Lennox. Mr Rupert left for the station over an hour ago.'

She had been rehearsing what she would say to Rupert during the taxi ride from Liverpool Street, and now the force of Sedgwick's casual pronouncement hit her like a shower of ice-cold water. It was all her fault. She had allowed Rupert to walk away without putting up a fight. She had been so caught up in her own self-centred world that she had failed to give him comfort when he needed it most. She had seen many men suffering from shell shock, but she had not recognised the signs in the man she had promised to marry. It was only now that she fully comprehended the desperation he must have been feeling, and now he was on his way back to the hell of the battlefield.

She realised dimly that Sedgwick was speaking to her but she had not understood a word that he said. She met his gaze and was both shocked and surprised to see sympathy in his pale grey eyes. ‘I'm sorry, Sedgwick. What did you say?'

‘Her ladyship is in the drawing room, Miss Lennox. She said that she would like you to join her there as soon as you returned.'

‘Yes, of course. Thank you, Sedgwick.' Daisy made her way upstairs to her room. She tossed her packages onto the bed and peeled off her gloves before taking
a seat at her dressing table and unpinning her hat. She studied her reflection, shaking her head. The thin-faced woman with dark shadows beneath her eyes was almost a stranger to her. No wonder Rupert had been so aloof and had found it easy to break off their engagement. ‘You're a fool,' she told herself severely. ‘You didn't appreciate what you had until you lost it. You deserve to end up a withered old spinster with no one to love you.' She put a dab of powder on her nose and added a touch of rouge to her cheeks. She must present a positive face to the world, and she must not upset Lady Pendleton by blurting out the true account of what had passed between her and Rupert. She must keep up the pretence that all was well in order to save the feelings of those left at home. Soon she too would be returning to war-torn France and then she would be nearer Rupert in spirit if not in body. Her heart ached for his suffering and she knew that she would never forgive herself if he were to die thinking that she cared nothing for him. She changed into the afternoon gown that Betsy had laid out for her and made her way downstairs to face Rupert's mother.

Next morning Daisy was up early and had just finished breakfast when Lady Pendleton joined her in the dining room. She looked pale and strained but she managed a weary smile. ‘I simply couldn't let you go without saying goodbye, my dear. I'll be staying in London for a while longer, and I might not see you before you have to return to France. You know my feelings on that score, I think.'

Daisy swallowed a mouthful of coffee, nodding her head. ‘Yes, indeed, but I have to do my duty, just as Rupert has to do his.'

‘And what if you are killed? You are to be the mother of my grandchildren, and I can never approve of you risking your life in this way. No wonder Rupert was upset. I can't help blaming you a little for his behaviour while he was at home, and to tell the truth I think you let him down. The poor boy obviously needed a shoulder to cry on, and it was not his mother he wanted.'

‘You can't blame me any more than I blame myself,' Daisy said sadly. ‘I know I let him down, but this war does dreadful things to people. I was at a loss too.'

Lady Pendleton plucked a handkerchief from the dolly bag hanging from her wrist and dabbed her eyes. ‘Yes, I know. I'm probably being unfair to you.' She replaced the hanky and took out a purse, handing it to Daisy. ‘This will cover your fare home, although I would be much happier if you allowed Parkin to drive you there in the Rolls. I don't like to think of you travelling unchaperoned.'

‘I'll be quite all right, Lady Pendleton. You mustn't worry.' Daisy held the purse in her hand. She could tell by its weight that it was a generous amount and she would have liked to refuse, but she had the added expense of buying a ticket for Ruby as well as herself. ‘Thank you. You're very generous.'

Lady Pendleton poured coffee into her cup. ‘Not at all. God willing, you'll soon be part of the family. What train are you proposing to catch?'

The taxi seemed to take an interminable time to reach Liverpool Street station. The mixture of horse-drawn and motorised traffic caused chaos on the roads. Drays, costermongers' barrows, hansom cabs, motorbuses and cars all vied for precedence in the narrow city streets. Daisy fretted and fumed at the delays, but her main worry was that Ruby might think she was not coming. Perhaps she had had second thoughts and had decided to go back to work as a Gladys, leaving her son with some other totally unsuitable person. Daisy's palms were damp with sweat by the time they drew up outside the station. She paid the cabby, adding a generous tip as he leapt out and hailed a porter to carry her suitcases, and she hurried to the ticket office to buy two first class singles to Colchester.

The porter carried her luggage to the platform and found her an empty compartment. He climbed inside and hefted the bags onto the luggage rack. She pressed a tip into his hand and he saluted her with a cheery grin before heading off to assist another traveller with her baggage. Daisy stood by the open door, praying silently that Ruby had not had a change of heart. Passengers were boarding and carriage doors slammed along the length of the train. The guard stood poised with his whistle and his green flag and Daisy was about to give up when she saw Ruby racing along the platform with her son clutched in her arms. The same porter who had helped Daisy was hurrying along at her side with a carpet bag in his hand. Daisy thrust Ruby into the compartment and leapt in after her. The train had started to glide along the track and
the porter tossed Ruby's baggage and slammed the door.

‘I thought you weren't coming,' Daisy gasped. ‘Let me hold Martin while you see to your luggage.' She sat down carefully, hugging the sleepy child.

‘I almost didn't,' Ruby said, breathing hard as she hefted her carpet bag onto the rack. ‘Then I had a bit of a to-do with my landlord who thought I was running off without paying the rent. He took me last penny, the old devil. Now I'm stony broke.' She held her arms out for her son, who had fallen asleep with his head on Daisy's shoulder.