The Billionaire's Secret Kink Box Set: Knox: Secret Alpha Billionaire Romance Bundle (Rosesson Brothers Book 1) (36 page)

Mica pulled back and looked at him, inside him, searching out something from him, but never asking out loud. She pushed her hands under his shirt and ran her fingers along his muscles, then dropped them down to his sex and gripped his cock.

Knox moaned at the sensation and closed his eyes, relaxing into the pillow. He could let it happen. If that was what she was offering.

Mica let go of him and grabbed his shirt, lifting it over his head, needing a bit of help from him. Then she started on his pants, climbing out of the bed to pull them off completely.

Knox opened his eyes to see her. He loved her curves and would never say no to them.

After she pulled off his pants and socks, she took first one of his hands, and then the other, positioning them on the pillow above his head, telling him she would be doing all the servicing, and he was only along for the ride. Mica climbed back into the bed and pressed her flesh against his, making him sigh at the sensation, at his single task of enjoyment.

Mica watched him closely, reading his every reaction. He could tell she was worried about doing something to him that he didn't want so he smiled at her, telling her without words that he was open to her touch, no matter where it might lead.

Mica smiled back. She touched a hesitant hand to his cock and caressed it gently, her hand sliding over the head of it in a way he'd never experienced before, skin sliding against skin in a delicious, delicate friction that threatened to send him to his own personal edge way too quickly. Knox held perfectly still, trying to stay relaxed, loving her touch, her control.

Mica kept up her attentions, focusing singularly on him, finally straddling him and taking him inside her. She rode him slowly, fully, perfectly, their gazes locked, until he felt himself tighten and spill into her. He grunted with his release, his mouth locked tight to hold in the only thought that filled his mind at that moment.

A thought he didn't quite dare share so soon after she'd heard the mess that was his family's confessions and seen the depths that he could sink to.

***

Knox awoke the next morning, the memory of Mica's command over him the first thing on his mind. But soon thoughts of his family crowded in, keeping him in bed as long as she would allow. After she got him to eat, he retreated to his office and tried to look at work emails, against his better judgment. The task went as poorly as he was afraid it would and he gave up, opting to stare at the wall instead.

New thoughts were creeping in. Thoughts of doubt and shame and attack on himself. It had been forty-eight hours and he wasn't over it yet. That was too long. He needed to man up and get ahold of himself.

But no matter what Knox did, how much he yelled at himself, or how guilty he felt, he couldn't seem to find his way back to competence, to passion, to daily living without the pall of disquiet that hung over him. It ate at him, rendered him stale and useless.

The day passed like a wind, with nothing resolved. Daxton and Bronx both came by, but Knox turned them away with a quick hug and a short shake of his head, then hid in his office when they continued to try to talk to him.
They should know better.
When Knox climbed into bed, early again, Mica joined him right away this time. Again, she undressed him, put his hands over his head, and made slow, sweet, healing love to him, making him berate himself even harder inside his head for being unable to respond to her the way a man should, the way he wanted to.

***

When Knox woke the next day, he sat in bed and shook off the remnant of a dream that had raised his heart rate and made him sweat. He wiped his face with his hand and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, feeling slightly nauseous. As the feeling faded, he considered crawling back into bed. He'd hoped to be back to his normal self this morning, and the fact that he wasn't weighed heavily on his consciousness.

Knox stood, determined to force himself to function. Enough was e-fucking-nough already and he wouldn't stand for it any longer. A headache pounded at his temples at the thought but he ignored it. He was stronger than it.

Knox walked down the steps, looking through the rooms for Mica. He could talk to her. He would talk to her. He needed to pull out of his funk so she wouldn't leave him. What he was doing wasn't fair to her, not for a second.

She wasn't in the kitchen, nor in the living room. He looked out the front door but didn't see her outside either. Fear began to beat at his temples along with the pain.
She wouldn't leave, would she?

He walked to the back of the large room and looked down the hallway. She stood in front of the door to the green room, looking in, the set of her shoulders suggesting something was wrong.

Knox's thoughts cleared slightly and he strode to her, looking in the green room when he reached her. It sat empty, as it had since she'd come back into his life, as it would from here on out.

Mica noticed him, and a look crossed her face, making him wonder if she felt guilty.
But why?

Knox cleared his throat and forced himself to talk, his throat gritty from disuse. "I'll have it removed today if it bothers you."

Mica smiled at him, her face lighting up like sunshine, then threw her arms around his neck. They stood like that for a long time, Knox feeling completely unworthy of her attentions.

She pulled back and looked at him carefully, her mouth opening and closing several times as she decided what to say.

"Want some breakfast?" she finally asked.

Knox nodded. "Sure. But first let me call someone to get rid of this bed."

Mica's face contracted, confusing Knox.

"I'm not bothered by it," she said softly.

"You're not?"

"No," Mica said, her eyes being pulled into the room and traveling to the over-sized bed. When she spoke again her voice was a mere whisper. "I'm intrigued."

Knox felt as if he'd been punched in the gut, realizing there was business left unfinished, stories left untold. Mica deserved the full and final truth. He'd tell her his worst story—the one he'd always considered the worst until a few days ago—and then wait to see if she stayed or left.

He grabbed her by the hand, energy coursing through him for the first time in days. Suddenly he was starving. He pulled her into the kitchen, ignoring her startled noise.

"Sit," he told her, pulling a covered pan out of the fridge and peeking inside it. Chicken enchiladas. He put it into the oven to warm and then joined Mica at the table.

"I'm glad the green room doesn't bother you. But there's something you need to know about it. Something I've barely admitted to myself before. Something my brothers don't even know. I'm sure they suspect but they don't know."

Mica stared at him hard and nodded, looking like she'd been expecting this.

"I started using the green room because I was unable to trust women to touch me, but I was also unwilling to be abstinent."

Knox saw only acceptance and a desire to know more in Mica's eyes so he pushed on.

"Remember when you asked me what happened to me when I was seventeen to make me go three years without having sex with a woman?"

Mica nodded.

"This was a year after Dad retired from the army and started Rosesson Security and almost a year after he'd put Mom into Sunny Acres. I was working for him sometimes, laying concrete and doing other odd jobs for the company. The daughter of his secretary came into the office sometimes and we hit it off. We started dating off and on, even though Dad was totally against it. She ended up being my first time. I didn't know it then, but found out later that Dad had been sleeping with her mother. She tried to extort money from him and Dad fired her. I didn't want to break up with her because of it but Dad insisted, so I continued to date her behind his back. It was hard though. Dad had strange ideas about what us boys should be allowed to do. I was old enough that he couldn't control me anymore, but he always threatened to throw me out and cut me off from seeing my brothers. That scared me more than anything so I tried to do what he wanted, but I didn't always succeed. In this case I should have listened to him. One day she and her mother came into the office together. Chrissy took me out back to one of the construction trailers we had on site while her mother talked to dad in his office. Chrissy was very aggressive, trying to have sex with me. Before I knew it she had my pants down and my dick in her mouth. That was something I hadn't had as much experience with as I would have liked and I just went with it, not able to care if Dad caught us. Right before it would have been over Chrissy got a beep on her phone. She looked at it, and made some strange noise, then switched hands and went back at it. I closed my eyes but a strange shifting on her part made me open them again, just in time."

Knox took a moment to breathe. He could tell by Mica's expression she had no idea where this was going. He almost felt sorry for her. She had her own experience with evil, but she didn't understand crazy at all. He'd dealt with crazy more than evil, and he honestly didn't know which was worse.

He couldn't think of a gentle way to say it, so he went with blunt. "She pulled a knife out of her purse, moved her head away, and tried to slice my dick off."

Knox

Mica stared at Knox, her hands falling to the table with a thwap sound.

"Oh my God," Mica whispered.

Knox pressed his lips together in agreement. "Yeah, not a fun day for me. I managed to get my arm down there and knock her hand away, but not before she sliced me up a bit."

He held up his forearm. "See this scar?"

Mica reached out and ran a finger along the six-inch, neat scar that was almost hidden by the hair on his arm.

"I've got a couple of others from her too. She fought me. There's one on my abdomen, one on my thigh, and of course the one on my dick. They were all clean slices that were sewed up right away, so they aren't easy to see anymore after so many years."

"I saw them," Mica said quietly. "I felt the one on your ..."

"Yeah, that one was the hardest to fix. She nicked a nerve and a blood vessel and everything had to be reattached in surgery. The last thing on my mind for a long time was sex."

Mica's lip quivered and one tear fell from her eye. "I'm so sorry," she said.

Knox smiled at her and wiped the tear away with his thumb, apprehension still filling him. "Don't be. It was a long time ago. Physically, everything is healed. Mentally, well, I'll admit that I didn't ever try to heal the mistrust that grew out of that. It didn't seem safe."

The oven timer beeped and Knox got up to take out the food. "Hungry?" he called over his shoulder.

"No."

"Mind if I eat?"

"No, of course not."

Knox filled two plates and returned to the table to sit down. He ate a bite then lifted his eyes to Mica. She looked stunned. He wasn't surprised.

"Until you," he said between bites.

"What?"

"It was a struggle to even think about sex with a woman until you."

"Why?"

"You were different. Different than any woman I had ever known. You were gentle, sweet, kind, soft, and incredibly beautiful. You had a bit of naiveté to you that attracted me immediately."

Mica smiled at him. "You didn't have any trouble letting me touch you."

"I didn't. That was awesome. I had started to feel like there was something seriously wrong with me before I met you." Knox shrugged. "After you disappeared, it was still hard to trust other women though. I should have gone to someone for help I guess, but I was scared. Scared it would mean I was like my mother, probably. I had a few failed attempts until Daxton said something jokingly about tying women up. Thus the green room was born."

A smile played on Mica's lips. "Why is it called the green room?"

Knox laughed. "I heard my brother's calling it the pink room and I didn't like it, so I started calling it the green room just to be contrary. It stuck."

Knox took a bite of his food, enjoying it. He felt better. Cleansed. He didn't know what to do about his parents, but he knew his subconscious must have figured something out. He'd know on a conscious level eventually. He knew one thing though, he was going to find Amelia Mae.

"I'm so glad she wasn't able to cut your penis off," Mica said, her face serious.

Knox laughed. "Me too, but it doesn't seem to have hurt Dad much."

Mica's chin dropped to her chest. "What?!"

"The whole thing was some sort of revenge pact between Chrissy and her mom. Her mom did the same thing to my father, but he wasn't as quick as I was. She cut it right off."

"I can't believe it! I've never heard any rumors about that!"

"Dad knows how to keep things covered up. Besides, it happened before he made his first infomercial, long before anyone knew his name."

"Are they in jail?"

Knox shook his head. "Chrissy was seventeen and only had to spend a few months in juvenile. Her mom got off on an insanity plea."

"So your dad doesn't have a penis?"