The Birds (3 page)

“And it’s not much fun knowing that,” he said in a loud voice, so loud that she could possibly have heard it in her room.

He felt very depressed.

A sudden thought made him start: You mustn’t leave me! He gasped, turned toward the room where Hege lay. Whatever happens to you or me you mustn’t leave me.

This was by no means a new thought, but it felt new each time, and just as painful. And each time he had to dismiss it as nonsense, Hege had never as much as breathed a word about leaving him. Why should he torment himself like this?

The vision would not leave him. He saw Hege walking away, farther and farther. She was carrying all her belongings in a little parcel under her arm.

Are you leaving?

Yes, Mattis.

This is very sad, Hege.

Yes, Mattis.

Then she began walking again.

She wasn’t listening to him anymore, she grew smaller and smaller, until eventually she was only a tiny black dot – and there she remained. Couldn’t disappear altogether in this sad charade.

Just at this moment came the great event.

He was deep in thought, with visions of Hege walking away, sitting in his usual place on the steps looking across the lake to the hills in the west. The lake was black now, and the hills deep and dark. A fine summer twilight everywhere, in the sky and on earth. Mattis was by no means blind to things like that.

Their cottage stood in a marshy little hollow that rose from the lake. Birches and aspens were dotted among the conifers. A little brook ran down through the hollow. Sometimes Mattis thought it was more beautiful here than any other place he had seen – of the few places he knew.

Perhaps this was what he felt now, too – he was certainly lost in contemplation and let the twilight grow deeper and deeper, in so far as you could call it twilight and not just something unspeakably gentle.

At that moment the unexpected happened.

This side of the wind it is still, he had just been thinking, as he stared toward the two aspens and the evening sky. Something was
filtering through the treetops, it was so clear he felt he could see it. No wind, just something filtering through – and on this side it was so still that not a leaf on the other aspen trembled.

But suddenly came a tiny little sound! A strange cry. And at the same time he could just make out quick flapping wings in the air above him. Then came more faint calls in a helpless bird language.

It went straight across the house.

But it went straight through Mattis as well. A wordless excitement arose inside him; he sat there wide-awake and confused:

Was it supernatural?

No anything but, and yet—

It was a woodcock that had flapped over the house. And the woodcock didn’t do that sort of thing by chance, not at this time of the day. A flight had begun over his house!

When had it started?

Because it hadn’t been there any spring before as far back as he could remember. He’d been out late enough to have seen and heard it if it had.

But tonight it was going right overhead, over Hege and himself, and that’s how it would be from now on, every single morning and evening.

Mattis looked at his house. It seemed to be a different house now, you had to look at it with different eyes. The woodcock had always seemed to be something that glided through valleys far away from
all that was his. That was how he had always imagined it. Now, this evening, it was here, it had simply moved right here. That’s to say if it wasn’t an illusion – he knew he was given to illusions. Had anyone ever heard of a woodcock moving from its usual path? Not as far as he knew. And why had it come here?

Mattis sat waiting almost breathless. For if it was a proper flight, the bird would return in a little while, along the same path, again and again during the short hour that the evening flight lasted. He knew this from other areas where flights occurred. Early in the morning, too, the bird moved along the same path, a fowler had told him so. On dry marshlands he had sometimes seen the marks of woodcocks’ beaks, next to the imprints of their dainty feet.

He sat waiting, full of excitement. The moments seemed to drag on, and his doubts grew stronger.

But hush, there it was. The flapping wings, the bird itself, indistinct, speeding through the air straight across the house and off in the other direction. Gone again, hidden by the gentle dusk and the sleeping treetops.

Then Mattis said in a firm voice: “So the woodcock came at last.”

He didn’t know how or why he said this. It was the least he could say and do – and no one was listening as he said it.

He felt as if something were over and done with, after a long and difficult time.

His first thought was to tell Hege about it, he wanted to rush in right away. Sleeping or awake, she must hear about this at once. But he stopped. If it was true, then the bird would soon be back a third time, and Mattis was so unsure of himself that he felt he had to wait for this third appearance. Sit and wait full of joy.

Hege’s got to believe me if I’ve seen it three times. Everybody’ll have to believe it then.

Hush, there it was again.

Just as before, the flapping, the shadow in the dusk, quick as an arrow – and then the faint call, whether anyone was listening or not. Straight across the roof, and away, out into space. Then it was simply late evening once more.

But it’s come. Now I know something he concluded, without going any further into the matter. There was no doubt about it, he felt different.

And Hege asleep.

Now Hege would be able to feel different, too.

HEGE ASLEEP – HEGE who was like lightning with her eight-petaled roses and sweaters, and who could cope with difficulties – Mattis was no longer sure which of them was more important. At this moment he almost felt like putting himself first.

He went into her room, making quite a noise.

It was a silly thing to do. Hege had long since gone to bed, perhaps even fallen asleep, so this was an unfortunate moment to disturb her. Her tone was rather sharp.

“What’s the matter now?” she burst out before he could find words for his overflowing emotions. He recognized this tone only too well. She had obviously just fallen asleep, and then he came tramping in. But he also knew what would follow; she was already clearing her throat as a way of softening the impact of her first wounding remark.

“What is it, Mattis?” she said wearily, in a low voice that was now friendly and full of remorse.

The news Mattis was bringing was great. He hardly knew how to put it into words. In the end he said simply: “There’s a woodcock started flying over here tonight!” His voice was hard and inflexible. He almost felt like a stranger standing by her bed.

Hege seemed to notice the tone of his voice. A tongue numbed by wonder and awe. But there’d been so many strange things that
Mattis had come rushing to tell her. Things that were usually soon explained and no longer strange.

She said quietly: “A woodcock? Oh, I see. Well, go and get some sleep now, Mattis.”

He didn’t understand.

“Go to bed now, Mattis,” she said gently, seeing the distraught expression on his face.

Mattis groaned with disappointment.

“Didn’t you hear what I said? There’s a woodcock here! It’s moved! It’s flying straight across the roof of our house! Now! This very minute, while you are sitting there in bed.”

Hege remained sitting as before, with the same expression on her face.

“Of course I heard. But what of it? Can’t you let the woodcock come and go as it likes?”

He didn’t understand her. It was as if she were speaking a language he didn’t understand.

“Doesn’t it mean anything to you? Have you ever heard of a woodcock changing it’s path like that and going right over your head?”

She shrugged her shoulders.

“What’s the good of asking me?”

“No, I bet you haven’t. Put on your things now and come outside.”

“Outside? Now, in the middle of the night?”

“Of course, you must see it too.”

“No, Mattis,” she said.

“You must! It’s going on out there now. If this isn’t anything important either, then—”

Hege’s only reply was to lie down again. She yawned, heavy with sleep.

“I’m sure you found it fun to watch,” she said, but surely I can see it some other time. If it’s here, it’s here, isn’t it?”

Mattis stared at her open-mouthed.

“If it’s here, it’s here!” he repeated horrified. “And you’re supposed to be razor-sharp?” he blurted out without thinking.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“You don’t understand anything then,” he summed up.

He stood over her, disappointed and helpless.

Gently she touched his arm. He took it as a sign of friendship. He didn’t see how worn out and miserable Hege was at this moment. She lay there in her faded nightdress, not looking at him, her face turned to the wall.

“Let’s talk about this in the morning, Mattis. Go to bed now, do you hear?”

To Mattis it sounded like madness – throwing away a chance like this.

“I’m telling you it’s going on now. And you don’t want to come out and see? I can’t understand you. Nothing seems to mean anything to you.”

Finally Hege couldn’t stand it any longer. She beat her hand against the edge of her bed and cried: “You don’t know what you’re talking about. And coming from you, you who are—” she stopped suddenly.

He asked in a frightened voice: “What am I?”

With her back to him, she shouted: “Leave me in peace, please! I can’t go on any longer if you don’t—oh, please go away, it’s very late and I must get some sleep, Mattis.”

She gave a jerk, turning even farther away from him. He saw her shoulders begin to quiver. It shook him profoundly, made him feel guilty, whether he was or not.

He felt bewildered. Had he been unkind to her? He’d simply wanted to please her with the woodcock. It didn’t occur to him that it wasn’t as great an event for Hege as it was for him. It was going on out there now, this very minute – and Hege didn’t care, shouted at him, and lay there weeping in incomprehensible helplessness.

“But Hege—I meant no harm, I just wanted you to—”

But now she was absolutely wild: “Did you hear what I said,” she screamed, and he hastily retreated the few steps that were necessary to get out of her room. He closed the door gently, as if Hege were asleep and mustn’t be disturbed.

How different people are, he thought in a bewildered way when he got outside. At least, Hege and I are.

I don’t think she even believes me.

But I saw it and I heard it. I’ll swear I saw it. The flight’s just finished for tonight, that’s all.

And now let’s sing a song, said a voice inside him. Not that he began singing. It just seemed to follow on naturally after “finished for tonight.” I’ve been to all sorts of meetings, so I’ve got a pretty good idea of how things are done there.

Finished for tonight. For now the bird had found his sweetheart.

When he looked up, there were beams of light where the woodcock had flown. Straight over his house.

To be quite honest he wasn’t absolutely sure about this – but he felt like something had happened up there, that a change had taken place. And tomorrow it will happen again, as wonderful as it was tonight. And Hege’s going to see it, even if I have to tie her up out here.

Things are going to be different from now on, he thought before falling asleep, curled up on his bench like a child.

For me?

The thought sent a flood of warmth through him.

THE WOODCOCK FOLLOWED Mattis into his sleep, and whomever he had to thank for it, a wonderful dream followed.

First of all a good omen, before anything actually appeared:

“We’re coming, we’re coming,” somebody said. “You’re there, aren’t you?”

“Yes, of course,” he was able to reply.

“It’s taken a long time, Mattis,” said a friendly voice, “but that’s all over now.”

And it did indeed come. A bright beam above the house and on both sides, high and low, and a sound that was only just audible – as sounds like that ought to be. Immediately the house changed and became completely new.

“But it isn’t the house that’s the most important thing,” he said.

No, and it wasn’t the other things either, it was himself. The beams had gone right through him and made him quite different. When he bent his right arm to test his new muscles, there was such a bulge that the whole of the upper part of his sleeve burst open. He looked at the smooth, beautifully shaped muscle and laughed.

“That’s better,” he said.

“That’s really something to squeeze with,” he said with a sharp glance around him.

“Where are you?” he shouted.

They laughed, hidden in the grove.

“We are where we usually are.”

His house was really new and he went over to look at his reflection in the windowpanes. He’d never seen such a tough fellow as the one who faced him in the dark glass. He could see himself from every angle, and it all looked equally good.

He shouted proudly: “Can you see anything?”

“Yes you bet we can,” came the reply from the grove. “We can’t see anything else.”

“Wait a bit,” he said, but a whole chorus replied: “Wait? Now?”

“What are you going to do, Mattis?”

“Get ready, Mattis.”

“Yes, you bet I will,” he said, using their own expression.

He shook his head and no sooner had he done so than it was full of all the right words to say to girls – and to other people, too, for that matter. Not just helpless flickers as before. He laughed and played about with this new gift, trying out one or two of the bold words.

“Hey! You in the grove,” he said. “Are you ready?”

“We’re ready,” they said. “Who do you want to come?”

“Will you come? You, the one I’m thinking of,” he said, letting his shirt tighten round his arm.

It was a tense moment, but the reply came at once: “That’s what I’d like to do.”

The other voices seemed to have sunk into the ground.

There she was, standing in front of her grove, no longer hidden. He had seen her in his imagination thousand times, but still she was different. All the same he recognized her somehow and he wasn’t a bit frightened. She came right up to him, surrounded by a gentle fragrance.