The BlackBurne Legacy (The Bloodlines Legacy Series Book 1) (17 page)

My thoughts flash to Micah and Luka. A shifter and a self-proclaimed monster. Which is worse? What am I supposed to do? How can I be friends with them anymore? How can I not? No matter how scared I am, I need them. The thought of never seeing them or speaking to them again terrifies me more than the knowledge of what they are.

That fact alone makes me wonder if they haven’t done something to me. I’ve never needed someone so badly that being separated from them actually causes me physical pain. That’s how I feel about Micah. He’s become a part of me. No, he’s always been a part of me. I’ve been dreaming of being a wolf since I can remember. Even though I hadn’t met him, deep down, I’d felt him. From the beginning, I felt at ease, at peace around him. All of those things that had defined me before simply melt away in his presence. I’m not shy, embarrassed, or self-conscious around him. He makes me whole.

And Luka? Rude, arrogant beyond belief, and very mysterious. At least the mystery is solved. Well, sort of. He’d managed to ingrain himself into my life too, worked his way into it. Why? Why is he so important to me? I should run screaming from him. He came here with the intent of killing me to save his family. He could have hurt me at any time he wanted over the last few weeks. Instead, he chose me over saving his family. That scares me. I think I’m falling in love with him, but what does he feel for me? Is he just saving me because it’s the right thing or because he has feelings for me? I simply don’t know.

So where does that leave me?

In a hell of a mess, that’s where.

Chapter

Seventeen

It’s been a week since the proverbial crap hit the fan. Jason and I are both ready to hurt someone, I think. Our anger levels are off the charts and flaring regularly. Uncle Sabien convinced us to stay at his house for a few days, but we only lasted overnight. Being in that house, surrounded by photos of our mother, was too hard. We understand her reasoning, but she was wrong to do what she did, to leave us behind. Forgiveness isn’t as easy as understanding.

Jason seems to be coping better than I am, though. He makes it look so easy. Sure, his temper is flaring like mad, but dealing with what we learned? He’s gone about his everyday life like the world as we knew it didn’t end. Then again, he doesn’t constantly feel like a freak show with his skin crawling either. Nor does he have friends who are monsters. I laugh harshly. Who am I kidding? I’m just as much a monster as they are. That’s why I’m freaking out so much.
I
am a monster. The gene is in my blood, dormant for now, but it can one day wake up with a vengeance.

Micah and Luka have been playing ping pong on my phone all week. If one isn’t texting, the other is. I can feel Micah’s anxiety. It’s the weirdest thing ever. I actually feel him. He worries about how I’m taking all this. He’s afraid he’s lost me. I don’t know how I know all this, but I do. It’s my gut telling me the truth of it.

Then there’s Luka. I keep seeing his eyes right before he’d dived out my window. He knew he’d scared me. I’d seen the same fear in his eyes that I’d seen in Micah’s—the fear of losing me. Maybe he does feel more for me than an obligation to keep me safe.

I know I need to talk to them at some point, but it’s all I can do to concentrate on going to class. My mind is whirling with questions and fears. I see trackers in every face that comes within walking distance of me. Avoiding Luka and Micah has been harder at school, but I’ve managed.

Dad convinced us to spend the weekend with him. He’s distraught, and I can see the pain it’s causing Emma. She loves him like he loved our mother. Emma is seeing that truth, and it’s tearing her apart. Jason and I are at a loss of how to help her except to show her how much we love her.

I curl up on the bed and try to get comfortable, my mind drifting back to my boys. I need time to get used to
me
before I talk to them. How am I supposed to face them when I can’t even face myself? I don’t know what to do. I’m not afraid of them. I’m afraid of me.

Something at my window distracts me. I bolt up, fear overshadowing everything else for a second. More trackers? No. Trackers wouldn’t announce their arrival. Getting out of bed, I creep over to the window and pull back the heavy drapes. Pebbles hit the window and make me blink. Looking down, I see Micah and Luka whispering to each other. Micah scoops up more pebbles.

Neither of them does the whole patient thing very well. They probably got tired of my ignoring them. Luka sees me staring down at them, a frustrated look on his face, and crooks his finger at me. Then he points down, a silent command to come out. Oh,
he did not
!

I take a sheet of paper out of my notebook and with a bright red sharpie write the word NO. I tape it to the window and pull the curtains closed.

So, there! I feel childish, but oddly empowered too.

A sharp knock at my window startles me. Now, how did they get up here? I know for a fact the ladder is locked up in the storage building out back. I pull the drapes open and gape.

Luka is floating outside my window! Floating! Come on!

He also looks irritated with me.

Wait. Irritated? What right does he have to be irritated? He isn’t the one who’s just had their life torn to little tiny pieces and left strewn over the floor. Irritated? If anyone has the right to be irritated, it’s me.

I hear Micah laugh.

You shut up too
, I fume.

We need to talk, Blue.

We are talking.

Luka can’t hear us.

What, are you talking to each other now?

We decided to pool our resources to protect you.

I snort.

Please, Blue? There’s something you should know.

Sigh.

Fine. Tell Luka to stop floating before the neighbors see him.

I’m going to be in so much trouble if I get busted, I think as I pull on my jeans and my favorite WVU sweatshirt. Creeping downstairs, I jerk on my shoes and let myself out. I put a finger to my lips and lead them out back to the gazebo.

We sit for a minute, no one speaking, just staring. How to start? Where to start? It’s a bizarre mess to sort through, but unfortunately, I don’t have all night. My family will check on me at some point.

“So talk,” I tell them crossly. I miss the warmth of my bed as a cool wind blows around us. It’s late September, and it gets chillier at night in the mountains than it did in New York.

“I’m sorry, Alex. I know you want time to get used to all this stuff, but there’s something you need to know. We should have told you sooner, but…”

“What?” I whisper, afraid of the answer.

“The one that attack me escape.” Luka confirms my worst fear.

Well, crap.

My nostrils flare, panic creeping up my spine. That’s what I thought they were going to say. The possibility haunted me all week. The what-if scenario. They know where we are.

“Don’t freak, Alex,” Micah warns. “We’ll keep you safe. I promise.”

Don’t freak? I’m well past that point. Hysteria-induced madness.

Yup, that’s me.

Stay calm
.
Don’t freak. Breathe. Focus.

“How did you get away?”

“Is nothing. I am fine.”

“There’s not a scratch on you, Luka. How did you manage that?”

“He healed,” Micah tells me softly.

“Healed?” I turn my attention to Micah. “Is he like you?”

“No, not exactly, but they can’t kill him.”

“Wait, why can’t they kill you?”

Luka and Micah share a shuttered looked.

“Oh, no you don’t.” I wag my finger at them both. “No way are you getting all secretive on me now.”

Luka smiles. Actually smiles. It’s a smile I’ve never seen before.

“No,
munya
,” he says. “No more secrets. Part of
my
magic give me a way with animals. I can compel them to do things. Is a rare gift among my people.”

Micah snorts.

“So you, like, what, told the cat to let you go?” I grab onto something I can deal with.

“I tell it not to kill me.” Luka’s smile is sheepish. “I should have say not to harm me.”

A thought occurs suddenly, and I have an idea as to why the two of them have been at each other’s throats for so long.

“You have control over the wolves?”

Luka sighed. “Yes.”

“I knew it!” I crow. “That’s why you two have been acting like such morons.”

“Morons?” Micah is definitely offended.

“That is part of the reason Micah and I were in argument,” Luka says. His way doesn’t make them sound like morons—his point, I think. Too bad I still think they’re complete and utter morons.

Another thought occurs to me and I interrupt him.

“All those times I felt like I had to do what you said…was that you making me?”

“No,
munya
, I did no.” His words are earnest. “Is a terrible thing to do to someone.”

Then why do I always feel the need to do as he asks? “Was that the reason Micah was so upset with you? Did he think you were using your influence on me?”

“It did occur to me,” Micah admits, “but that’s not the main reason I wanted you to stay away from him.”

“Then why?”

“Micah is afraid I might hurt you.”

“What?” That wipes the smirk off my face. Hurt me? “No.” I shake my head, the truth of my own words stealing over me. “You would never hurt me.” I believed what he told me that day by the waterfall. It’s a truth that resounds in my bones. Luka will never harm me.

“Alex, you don’t know that,” Micah argues.

“Micah, don’t be ridiculous. He won’t hurt me.”

“It’s in his very nature to harm, to destroy. They cursed him to do exactly that.”

“And it’s not in your nature, in wolf form, at least?” I ask.

His glare could singe the Devil’s eyebrows. Truths are truths.

“You know I don’t believe that, Micah.” I soften my tone. “I admit, at first I was afraid. Your eyes are pretty freaky, Luka.”

“Thank you.” He grins, his eyes sparkling.

I roll my eyes.

“I did no mean to frighten you.” His expression is soft for a change, gentle.

I take a shaky breath and try to steady myself. When he looks at me like that sometimes, I can just melt.

“It wasn’t so much that you scared me as it was the straw that broke the camel’s back.” My gaze drops to my lap. “I’d seen so much already, and it was just
too
much and I flipped. I’m still flipping out.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard you trying
not
to think about it all day.” Micah sighs.

“And what’s with that?” I demand. “Why can we hear each other all of a sudden? I’ve felt you worrying all day.” My eyes widen as something snaps into place. “
You
! You were the person I kept hearing in my head!
I thought I was going crazy, that I had schizophrenia
!”  I’d spoken to him earlier in my mind, and it hadn’t registered then that’s what I was doing. My mind is a muddle and taking its time putting thoughts together.

He shifts, looking guilty. “I’m sorry, Blue. I couldn’t come out and tell you. I never meant for you to think that.”

“I told you about Compton, Micah. I told you
everything
. Don’t you think my hearing voices out of nowhere would worry me, considering where I’m from?”

He hangs his head, and his remorse rolls through me. It hits me hard and I struggle to stay upright. Luka reaches for my hand, and a cold wind settles around me. Micah’s connection to me is muted, buffered, and I can bear it.

“I’m sorry.”

Dammit. I can’t even be mad at him. I can feel how sorry he is.

“Just, please, next time, tell me and don’t just let me think something is wrong with me, okay?”

“I promise.”

Luka shifts closer, pulling me into his side. He smells of the night, of the dark, of wild things I can’t explain. I can sit here forever and breathe in his scent and be content for all my life.

“It’s not something to be scared of, Alex,” Micah says, interrupting my thoughts. “It’s something wonderful. There hasn’t been anything like this among my pack in over two hundred years.”

“But what exactly is
it
?”

“Among my kind, my pack, there are two types of mates. One is a heart mate. They are the missing pieces of our hearts. Once our hearts meet, there’s no turning back. The love that spirals out of that meeting is instant and earth shattering. If defies logic, time, and sometimes even death.”

Oh, crap.

“Micah.” My voice is hesitant. I don’t want to hurt him. “I don’t feel that way about you.” That’s how I feel about Luka.

Luka lets out a breath I wasn’t aware he’d been holding, and he relaxes. I don’t know why he’s nervous. I already told him I don’t have feelings for Micah.

Micah laughs. “No, Blue, you wouldn’t, but I think it explains your earlier question to Luka. When two hearts find each other, it can be overwhelming. You wanted to please Luka, and so your wolf side did what she does best, she submitted to her alpha.”

“Submit to my alpha?” What the hell is he talking about? I may have spent half my life locked up and being told what to do, but I am not a submissive person to let someone walk over me.

“Don’t get all bent out of shape.” Laughter bubbles in his voice. “Wolves tend to mate for life, and that is the same in shifters. We share many of the same characteristics as a regular wolf pack, our mate being one of them. He has to prove to your wolf he is worthy of you, and once she’s decided he is her mate, she admits that he is her alpha. That doesn’t mean dominance. It means realizing she found another who will take care of her, provide for her, and keep her safe. In return, the alpha cherishes her, and while he can be domineering, especially when it comes to her safety, he treats her like the most precious treasure in all the world. His main job is showing her how much he cares for her.”

“So you’re telling me that my wolf thinks Luka is her alpha?”

“Yes. If you are responding to him like that, then she’s made up her mind.”

“What if I haven’t, though?”

“Doesn’t matter.” Micah chuckles. “With a heart mate bond, your wolf knows best.”