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Authors: Kevin E Meredith

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BOOK: The Bones of Old Carlisle
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“She’s lying,” Smiley said bluntly, and he followed Arrowroot to
his front door.
Arrowroot held the door open and Smiley walked in first.
“I fixed this whole room up myself,” Arrowroot said. “Cherry,
walnut, pressed tin for the ceiling. Whatcha think?”
Smiley nodded, his expression unreadable.
“Hey, Tamani!” Arrowroot shouted. “Tamani, you up yet? Got
someone for you to meet!”
Tamani’s face appeared at Arrowroot’s office door. She was still
wearing Danielle’s nightshirt, holding a book in her hand. “Hello,
Karl,” she said with a slight smile, and then her eyes focused on
Smiley and her expression changed subtly, to what looked to Arrowroot
more like vague fear, or uncertainty, or anger.
“This is Nebuchadnezzar Smiley,” Arrowroot said. “I think you may
already know some about him.”
Tamani approached briskly, holding out her hand. She was trying
to smile again but there was something strange in her face. Her eyes
had hardened, eyebrows arched, her mouth a straight line.
“His friends call him Nebby,” Arrowroot said, sensing
awkwardness. Smiley held his hand out tentatively, perhaps not yet
used to the custom. Tamani reached him, took his hand and jerked him
forward, and then suddenly there was a dull thud, or perhaps a series
of them so quickly it sounded like one – Arrowroot couldn’t tell – and
Smiley crumpled to the floor, lying flat on his back, his eyes closed,
his lips tightened in what appeared to be a grimace of pain.

Chapter 42: A Little Background

“Why did you bring him here?” Tamani demanded as she and
Arrowroot looked down at the figure at their feet.
Arrowroot, dumbstruck for a moment, finally found his voice.
“Goddamn, what the hell you do that for?” he asked. “He was just
sayin’ hello, you know?”
“He is here to kill me,” she said, her voice shaking with rage or
fear or both. She dropped, put a knee into Smiley’s chest, leaned over
his face and slapped him.
“Ah!” she cried, and then she spoke rapidly, unintelligibly, and
Arrowroot knew she was using Mr. Smiley’s language.
Smiley inhaled and opened his eyes, but remained otherwise
perfectly still. He looked up at Tamani, and then at Arrowroot.
“Hello, Tamani,” he said, face and voice devoid of emotion. “Are you
the one who killed the archaic?”
Tamani grabbed Smiley by his shirt with both her hands, stood and
lifted him until his feet were off the floor. “Murderer,” she spat.
“Tamani,” Arrowroot said sternly, and he put his hand on her
shoulder. “Tamani, you can’t have a throwdown every time someone comes
callin’!”
Tamani looked over at Arrowroot, and Arrowroot remembered what he
had read that morning, and suddenly he understood.
“It’s comin’ back to you, isn’t it?” Arrowroot said. “Dammit,
this is all my fault. Dammit, no wonder. Okay, okay, Tamani, just slow
down. Can you do that? Just slow down and take a deep breath.”
Tamani kept her grip on Smiley’s shirt, but she lowered his feet
to the floor.
“Did you read some more?” Arrowroot asked. “Did you read what I
printed out?”
“I started reading it,” Tamani said, looking at Arrowroot, then
she turned back to Smiley and shook him. “I read enough! Murderer!”
“You shoulda read to the end,” Arrowroot said. “There’s some
things in there, some details.”
Someone pounded the front door, and Arrowroot started.
“Heligaux Police!” Chief Hatfield shouted, “you okay in there?
Karl?”
“Oh, damn, it’s Floyd,” Arrowroot whispered. “Okay, Tamani,
you’re gonna be Adele. You gotta be Adele now. Can you do that?”
Tamani just stared, so Arrowroot went to the door and opened it a
crack. Hatfield was standing just outside the door, as if he’d had his
ear pressed to it.
“Things got kinda tense in here,” Arrowroot said. “You bring
anyone?”
“Just me,” Hatfield said. He pushed the door in but stopped when
he spotted Tamani and Smiley.
“Okay, we’re all gonna stay calm here,” Arrowroot said. “Everyone
good with that? No violence, no guns?”
“Tamani?” Hatfield inquired. “Is that you?”
“Who?” Arrowroot asked. “Oh my god, you think she looks like, uh,
that girl, what’s-her-name? No, this is Adele. Adele Johnson. Adele
was staying with Danielle, they had a fight, so she bunked over here
last night. In Robert’s room. In Robert’s room. She’s from France and
all. Got a driver’s license. And of course, you know Nebby—“
“I know who she is,” Hatfield interrupted. “Why are you holding
Mr. Smiley like that?”
Tamani loosened her grip slightly and looked at Hatfield.
“Because he wants to kill me,” she explained.
“That’s not true,” Smiley said.
Tamani looked back at him and spoke furiously in his language,
the same unintelligible gleebs and glubs that Arrowroot had heard
before.
“That can’t be true,” Smiley said in English. “Your existence is
impossible.”
Tamani laughed bitterly but said nothing.
“Floyd, she has a point,” Arrowroot said. “Possibly, at least,
depending on your perspective. I printed out some things that I’d like
to read to everyone. It’ll answer a lot of questions. I think it
will.”
There was another knock on the door.
“Oh, God, that’s probably Nebby’s lawyer,” Arrowroot said.
“Tamani, can you cut loose of ‘im? Mr. Smiley, you’re not gonna kill
anyone now, right?”
“No,” Smiley said. “My goal is to depart with as little further
disruption as possible. Murder would constitute a significant
disruption.”
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Arrowroot said. “Now, Tamani, uh,
Adele, whatever, can you let him loose? That’s right, just let him go,
easy now. Easy.”
Tamani let go of Smiley’s shirt, and the two stared at one
another, Tamani wide-eyed and angry, Smiley with an expression most
like surprise, or even shock.
“Alright, Floyd, get the door, let’s let the lawyer have her
say,” Arrowroot said, and he reached up and put his hands on the
shoulders of Tamani and Smiley.
Hatfield opened the door, but it wasn’t Cecilia Mixson standing
there. It was Danielle. “Can I come in?” she said meekly.
“Oh, damn, Danielle, I thought you were gonna be someone else,”
Arrowroot said. “C’mon in.”
Danielle entered carrying two grocery bags. Her eyes were red and
tears had smeared the makeup under her eyes. She looked briefly at
Tamani and then down at the floor. “I’ve got some things I wanted you
to have,” she said, and she set both bags down at Tamani’s feet. “Your
ID’s in there, and some clothes too. Okay?”
Tamani, still staring warily at Smiley, nodded and offered a
pained smile.
“I’m sorry,” Danielle said, and she choked out a half-wail,
hugged Tamani and buried her face in her shoulder. “I’ve been so
crazy. So crazy since they killed my brother. I’m sorry!”
Tamani turned her attention away from Smiley, and the two women
hugged, Danielle stifling another sob, Tamani more stoic. Then
Danielle bent over and picked up one of the grocery bags. “Three
shirts,” she said, pulling one out and holding it against herself.
“You said you liked this one. It’s yours. And those jeans that fit you
really well—“
“Danielle, you need to meet someone,” Arrowroot said. Danielle,
her hand in the second bag, paused to look up at Smiley.
“This is Nebuchadnezzar Smiley,” Arrowroot said. “He was arrested
out at the fort, you might recall all that. They cleared him on
everything, he’s livin’ in a group home now, we’re spending the
morning together. And, to be quite blunt about things, he’s from
another planet, and I believe we can get him back there, probably this
morning. So we all need to set down. Outside would be my preference,
and I’m going to read something to you all.”
Danielle looked at Smiley suspiciously and didn’t offer her hand,
which Arrowroot thought was just as well, for Smiley’s sake.
“Danielle, you go first, let’s sit down on the wicker stuff where
the porch bends around the house,” Arrowroot instructed, and he strode
into his office and found where Tamani had left the printout, in a
neat stack on his desk. “Tamani, you go next, then me and Floyd, and
Mr. Smiley, you come last. Mr. Smiley’s not gonna do anyone any harm,
and if he does, he’s going back to jail, and I’m pretty sure that’s
the last thing he wants.”
Everyone filed out in silence and found a place to sit. Othercat
came out too, looking curiously at everyone. She didn’t seem to be
particularly interested in Smiley, Arrowroot noted.
It was almost 11 a.m. and the day was growing unusually warm for
May, but the trees that hugged the porch held in the morning’s cool
air, and reduced the sunlight to a few blinking specks.
Arrowroot set the pages on his knee, looked up and spotted a
figure at the top of his front porch steps. “Hey, Cecilia, grab a
seat,” he said. “Been expecting you.”
Mixson, clearly suspicious but just as clearly unable to make
sense of the strange gathering on Arrowroot’s porch, stepped over
slowly and took a seat beside Smiley.
“Mr. Smiley, how are you doing this morning?” Mixson asked him,
speaking slowly, as one might to a child. “Did you enjoy your first
night at your new home? Wasn’t it nice?”
“Yes,” Smiley said, and he nodded and smiled at her.
Mixson turned to Arrowroot. “Is this a Bible study?” she asked.
Arrowroot laughed. “Not hardly,” he said. His phone rang and he
pulled it out of his pocket and answered. “Hi, Susan,” he said,
sounding a little surprised. “Thank you, thank you, I’m glad you
thought so. I had a wonderful time too. A wonderful time. What’s that?
Oh, the paperwork on that soldier? Yes, I’d like to see that. Can you
drop it off over here? I’m on Nander Lane. Can you drop it off? Okay,
I’ll look for you.”
Arrowroot hung up and looked at each of the people sitting with
him on his porch.
“Okay,” he began, clearing his throat, “I’m not sure what
everyone knows about what all’s been going on, so before I start
reading, here’s a quick summary, and you can call it all crazy, but I
think it’s going to explain some things in a few moments.
“So there are 200 billion galaxies in the known universe, give or
take,” Arrowroot said. “And each of those galaxies holds hundreds of
billions of stars. And a lot of those stars have their own planets.
And some of those planets, it seems, they seem to hold intelligent
life. So Nebby’s from one of those other planets.”
Arrowroot gestured to Smiley. “Ain’t that right, Nebby?” he
asked. Smiley only stared.
“So, Nebby’s people, they wanted to find other life,” Arrowroot
said. “Lonely, I guess, right, Nebby? Other intelligent life. Someone
like themselves. So they automated the process, if you will. Put a
bunch of self-propelled thingies out in space, like big buses or what
have you. Millions of ‘em, searching all over, galaxy to galaxy, star
to star, lookin’ everywhere, zipping around faster than the speed of
light. Nebby, I’m getting this right so far?”
Smiley nodded to Arrowroot, looked at Mixson, and then looked
down, and she smiled back at him indulgently.
“And every time those buses would find a new planet with
something intelligent on it, they’d make new life to investigate, you
know, like, grow bodies in the buses. In orbit. Empty bodies, no
personalities to ‘em, just the shell is all. So once the bodies were
done, they’d have to get the spirits from somewhere else. You follow
me? They had to call the spirits, or the personalities or what have
yous, from whatever planet was closest, and that’s what they’d put in
those empty bodies. You follow me? So here’s a bus out in orbit, it’s
grown some bodies, and it says hey, send some spirits so we can land
on this planet and look around.”
Arrowroot leaned back, making sure everyone was paying attention.
“Now, here’s one of the twists in the story. For some reason, Nebby’s
people didn’t get into the bodies. Instead, they got other people to
do that. So one of those buses finally finds earth. So now it’s in
orbit around earth. It sends down something, like a robot fly or
something, it’s all written up in the crystals we found. That’s a
separate story, about the crystals, take my word for it. So the bus
finds earth, sends down some kinda bug robot, they take some blood or
whatever from some people, maybe it hurt, maybe not, then the bug
robot flies back up to the bus thing, and the sample is used to grow
new humans. Just the bodies, now, like human corpses. Empty shells, if
you will. And then the message goes out, ‘Hey, we got some bodies
here, need some spirits.’ And that’s where Tamani comes in. They’re on
a different planet. They’re not Nebby’s people. No, far from it. In
fact, Tamani’s people are simple as hell. No offense, Tamani, but all
they do is farm. Like, collectively. I’m thinking they’re a little
more like ants than like people. No offense. Or bees. Now, bees make
honey, so it’s all good. So Tamani and some others, they go to sleep,
and their spirits get transferred over. I’d love to know how this
works, but Nebby’s probably not going to make the explanation
available this morning. So they get transferred over, and Tamani wakes
up in the body she’s got now. In that body.” Arrowroot pointed to
Tamani. “You following all this? That body was grown for Tamani, she
leaves behind her other body, on that other planet. Just temporarily,
was supposed to be, but that’s not how it worked out. Tamani comes to
this body she’s got on now, orbiting earth, wakes up in a human body.
Tamani, you got anything to add? Does that all make sense?”
Tamani nodded but said nothing.
“Good,” Arrowroot said. “Now, turns out it’s hard as hell to be a
human. Hard as hell. We don’t know it as much, except when things are
especially shitty, pardon my French, but to Tamani, it was plain as
day right off. We live with it all our lives, so we don’t notice it,
but to Tamani, she felt it right away. She and twelve others, in that
space bus. That’s how many were grown, you know. Thirteen total.
Thirteen. Hard as hell for all of ‘em. It just hurts. Being human. And
they’d never felt pain before. I guess when you’re more like an ant –
or a bee, more like a bee – you don’t need pain. You just do your
thing, and if you get busted up, you just say ‘what the hell’ and keep
going about your business, no cryin’ and carryin’ and all, waste of
time and energy. That’s my guess, anyway. So of course some of ‘em
died. They become human, it hurts, some of ‘em died. Two right off I
think it was, and their spirits go back to their bodies most likely,
they wake back up on that other planet. Tamani’s planet, you know.
Their human form dies, then their personalities go back, wake up,
probably say something like ‘Hey, what the hell was that? Glad that’s
over, hurt like hell.’”
Smiley laughed and covered his mouth.
“You got something to say, Nebby?” Arrowroot asked. “Am I
getting’ this right?”
“Close enough,” Smiley replied. “My translation of your
interpretation of the protocol was odd.”
“Huh,” Arrowroot said. “I’ll take your word for it.” He looked at
Mixson, who was staring intently at Smiley, shock and offense playing
across her face.
“I told you he could talk,” Arrowroot said. “Although that last
sentence wasn’t the best example of it. Anyway, back to the story. So
Tamani and the others, they’re all human. And it’s time to land that
bus on earth. Now, this is the thing. This is the thing. Smiley’s
people, they’ve found, like, 700 intelligent races. Or 800. But
they’re all like Tamani’s people. Relatively intelligent, but not
intelligent like we use the term. Just farmers. All they’ve done, all
they’ll ever do. Kinda sad, really. No pain, but still kinda sad, if
you ask me. But good as hell at math. I mean, do all kinda
calculations just right on the spot, right in their heads, since
that’s what you wanna do for farming. I mean, advanced farming. Like,
farming with calculus. You remember any of that, Tamani? No? Anyway,
so they’re in this bus, and it’s time to land. And this is the thing.
Smiley’s people made it so you gotta use all kinda math to land that
bus. So if Tamani and her people had come into bodies like most bodies
around the universe, they woulda landed, no problem, done some
exploration or whatever, reported back to Nebby’s planet, and then
they’re done. But Tamani and her people, they pop into a bunch of
human bodies, and humans ain’t worth a shit when it comes to math.
Pardon my French, but we’re not. So you got all that? Nebby’s people
make this space bus that’s damned near impossible to land, unless you
got super math in your head. Which Tamani and her people ain’t in
their new bodies. But here’s what happened. Here’s what happened.
Damned if they didn’t land that thing anyway! Damned if they didn’t. I
mean, crash-landed it, bounced all over the damned place, nearly broke
all their necks, killed a couple of ‘em as it was. Army found it, by
the way, two bodies in a hunk of metal, right Floyd?”

BOOK: The Bones of Old Carlisle
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