The Book Club (2 page)

“You know, I do, but it could just be because
it’s getting darker. Maybe we just imagined what we felt
earlier.”

Diane shifted her gaze back to the bonfire
and tried to shake off the feeling. Feeling slightly ill from all
the marshmallows she’d eaten she tossed her stick into the flames
and watched as it caught fire and slowly started to burn up. Others
followed suit until Sandy struggled to her feet and called for
their attention.

“We’ve had some fun singing songs and eating
sugar like we were sixteen again and that was fun,” she began as
the rest of the group gave up embarrassed giggles. Diane noted that
Cathy was licking off pieces of marshmallows that had stuck to her
fingers making her look like a contented cat taking a bath in the
warm glow of the fire.

“But now,” Sandy continued, “we come to the
renewal part of the evening.”

A buzz of interest circled the fire.

“The thing is I don’t want any regrets at my
age. We’re entering that stage of our lives where our priorities
are changing. Cathy and Leslie—your kids are right behind the rest
of us and soon you’ll be empty nesters too,” Sandy said.

“I hate that term!” Terry barked. “Makes me
feel like some old chicken sitting around waiting to be fried up
for Sunday dinner.”

As the others laughed at the analogy Sandy
placed her hands on her hips and nodded fiercely.

“Exactly!” she cried. “This is exactly the
way Louisa and I have been feeling. Good to know we’re not
alone.”

“So let’s take care of business!” Louisa
called out. They hadn’t noticed that she had also risen to her feet
and was now rummaging through the box that was sitting nearby. She
pulled out a large soft-bound book and came back to stand beside
her sister.

“This is my big regret,” she said and held
the book up for all of them to see. It was a college course book
catalog.

“I’ve regretted not finishing my college
degree for over forty years. Doesn’t matter that I’ve headed
committees, organized community fundraisers, volunteered for
political campaigns and raised four kids who are successful, happy
and good people,” she told them watching as they nodded their
understanding.

“No, that doesn’t seem to matter much to my
sorry old heart. But the fact that I never finished college just
sticks in my craw like a piece of old meat. I don’t want to carry
that around with me anymore. I want to relish in my
accomplishments, enjoy the future and what is waiting for Karl and
me, and get this off my mind.”

Raising the book above her head Louise looked
triumphant in the glow of the fire. “So here it goes, my old
regret, my companion these many years. You’re no friend of mine!
Goodbye you old disappointment. I’m letting you go.”

With that she tossed the catalog onto the
fire. As it caught Louisa and Sandy cheered.

“Get on your feet girls! It’s time to let
go!” Sandy called out.

“Way to go!” Terry cried and pushed herself
to her feet.

“Good for you Louisa!” Beth shouted.

One by one they all got to their feet,
calling out words of encouragement and excitement for Louisa’s
act.

When they quieted Sandy reached into her
pocket and pulled out a faded photograph and held it up.

“This is a picture of me when I was 25. I
weighed 120 pounds and had a 22-inch waist. For the past forty
years I’ve been trying to get back to that and beating myself up
mentally because I couldn’t do it.”

“Here here!” someone said. Laughter and
sounds of understanding trickled around the circle.

“Exactly,” Sandy said. “And I’m tired. Tired
of feeling like a failure. I’ve had three children, put my husband
through law school, volunteered in every known position at all the
schools my children went to, kept house, gardened and then some. So
I don’t look like I’m 25 any more. Who does?”

“Who cares?” Andrea yelled. “You’re beautiful
just the way you are, Sandy! And we all love you for who you
are.”

They all agreed and made it known that Sandy
was accepted in their eyes and hearts. With tears in her eyes Sandy
nodded her acknowledgment.

“That’s why I’m throwing this regret into the
fire, ladies. I’m tired of beating this old horse, and am ready for
the rest of my life as it comes to me!”

With a slight bow and a twist of her wrist
Sandy threw the photograph into the fire where it quickly caught
fire and disappeared. Again the group erupted into cheers of
support and happiness.

“Now we know, since we sprung this on you,
that you haven’t brought any items with you to burn on the
bonfire,” Louisa said. It was completely dark now and the
flickering firelight made her look a bit eerie. “We have paper and
pens so that you can write down what you want to let go of. Please
take advantage of this, and share with us all what you want to burn
out of your lives.”

Passing around the items they each took one
eagerly. Diane looked down at the blank piece of paper in her hands
and thought of many regrets she’d been carrying with her. Looking
up her eyes circled the group around the fire, each one special to
her in their own way. Then she looked back down and began to
write.

When they were all done they each took a
moment to tell what they were letting go. Leslie was first and cast
a shy smile at the group. “My regret isn’t much, and it’s one I
didn’t have much control over. I regret that I was only able to
have one child. Most of you know that I couldn’t have any more
after I had Jamie, and I had always hoped for a large family. But
lately, when I watch him, I realize that I truly am lucky. He’s a
good boy, a smart boy, and this fall when he starts college I know
he’ll do well.”

She smiled as she gazed into the fire. “I
know there are women unable to have even one child, so I count my
blessings. And I’m going to stop regretting that I couldn’t have
more children.”

Another cheer as her paper burned.

Beth was letting go of her regret that she
hadn’t accomplished more in her career. “I wanted to be more than a
bookkeeper and always hoped to earn an MBA.”

She gave a nod in Louisa’s direction. “I know
that regret of wishing you’d completed a degree. But I also know I
fill an important need for my clients and I have a happy life. I’m
giving that regret the boot!” she laughed and tossed her paper onto
the fire.

Cathy, her head bowed, hesitated a moment
then looked up, her eyes meeting each of theirs in an almost
defiant manner. “I regret very little in my life,” she began, “but
the thing I do regret is a secret I’ve kept in my heart for many
years.”

A sob caught in her chest. She took a deep
breath and then went on. “I had a baby when I was in high school. A
secret I’ve been holding close to myself for more years than I can
think about. I’ve regretted that more than I can say. This past
winter my daughter got in touch with me. She’s beautiful, happy,
and one of the most centered young people I’ve ever met. I don’t
regret having her, or giving her to parents who loved her as much
as I could have.”

Andrea reached over and put her arm around
Cathy for support.

“I’m not a bad person for having had a baby
when I was too young to deal with it, and I’m not a bad person for
giving her up. I don’t regret it any more. And I don’t want to
carry that secret any more. It’s too heavy and I’m ready to let it
go.”

With that she crumpled the paper into a tight
ball and tossed it into the fire where it disappeared with the
flames.

“We love you Cathy,” Andrea said for them
all. “You are one of the bravest women we know. We’re all proud of
you for throwing that paper into the fire.”

Sandy started to applaud and soon they all
were clapping and cheering as Cathy wiped away the tears that were
streaming down her face.

“Well,” Andrea sighed when they had all
quieted down. “I regret that I wasn’t there when my mother died. I
know, I know, it wasn’t my fault. We’d heard so many times that she
was going, and we rushed out there again and again only to have her
rally back. And the one time we get the call and she really doesn’t
make it, I’m not there.”

She paused a moment to compose herself then
went on. “But I’ve come to realize that I was there all the times
that she did make it. I was there, and told her I loved her, and
she saw that I loved her and came to her side when she needed me.
So I wasn’t there when she finally passed, does that matter? Or do
the times I was there when she knew I was matter more? I don’t know
the answer to that, but do know that I’m ready to lay that guilt to
rest.”

Taking a couple of steps forward she gently
placed her paper near the flames edge until it caught fire then
tossed it on to complete burning. Once again the group showed their
support in applause as Andrea stepped back in line.

“I regret that I worked so much when my
children were little,” Terry spoke up. “But my income allowed us to
take some fabulous vacations, and it put my youngest through
medical school. Things we couldn’t have done if I hadn’t worked. So
I’m going to give that regret to the fire as well.”

Wiping a tear off her cheek Terry tossed her
paper onto the fire as the group cheered her on as well.

Diane, who’d been listening and applauding as
the others voiced their regrets, finally came to her turn.

“You know what I regret?” she asked as she
looked at them one by one. “I regret you. All of you. I regret that
these last couple of years I’ve neglected to remember what
treasures I have in my friendships with you. I’d come to resent the
book club. How could I have forgotten that friends are the finest,
most beautiful gift we can have in life?”

Feeling a tear slide down her own cheek she
laughed ruefully. “This has turned into a maudlin exercise, I
suppose, but I want you to know that I’ll never take any of you for
granted again.”

Tossing her paper onto the fire everyone let
up a loud cheer as the last regret burned up.

A coil of rope soared over their heads and
landed on the fire in a rush of sparks. With a gasp of surprise
they turned to see a woman standing behind Cathy and Andrea.

“That’s my regret,” she said nodding toward
the fire. “I’ve been watching you all evening. I came here tonight
with the intention of ending my miserable life. When I heard you
here I came over to investigate. Listening to you has given me
hope. We all have regrets, but we can move on, can’t we?”

“Of course we can,” Louisa said gently and
walked over to pull the woman into their circle.

Just as she did so the scream of sirens
filled the air and six police cruisers surrounded the group, their
lights flashing, officers jumping out and circling the women and
their fire.

“Okay ladies,” one of the policemen shouted.
“You’re all under arrest for trespassing after hours and an illegal
fire on county property! Don’t move!”

They all froze and looked at each other.

Grinning Louisa asked, “Anyone want to throw
this one on the fire before we get hauled in?”

# # #

I hope you enjoyed reading my short story
The Book Club.
Check out my other free short stories as well
as my books on smashwords.com, including the cozy mystery
What
Would Nancy Do?
and the novel
In the Company of Women.
I
love hearing from readers. You can reach me at my blog at
http://www.maureenmullis.blogspot.com
and follow me on Twitter and Facebook, or contact me via email at
[email protected].