The Book of Luke (15 page)

“So.” He turned off the car and sat there dangling the keys from his finger.

“So.” I was already going to be late for class, but I didn’t make a move to leave. What were a few more minutes? “Can you do me a favor and not tell anyone about my dad.”

“Sure, if that’s what you want.”

“That’s what I want,” I told him.

Luke leaned over and pulled me toward him. “I had a nice lunch.”

“Me, too.”

Before I could react, Luke’s mouth was on mine, his lips slowly parting until our tongues touched. He tasted vaguely of strawberries and, even though I’m not a huge fan of strawberry Fribbles, I could definitely see becoming a fan of kissing Luke after he’d had one.

“Wait, one more thing,” I said as I pulled away from Luke. “Have you ever thought about apologizing to Josie for the way you broke up?”

Luke shook his head. “This is why you stopped kissing me? To ask about Josie?”

No, I stopped kissing you because kissing you makes me feel guilty about Josie.
Only I couldn’t say that. “It’s just that it might be nice if you said you were sorry.”

“Look, Em, I sent the e-mail. I probably should have called or told her in person, but it’s over. I’m not going to apologize for it three months later, that’s ridiculous.”

Point taken.

Even though I knew the bell was about ten seconds from ringing, I let Luke tip my head back onto the seat and continue kissing me. It was different from our first kiss in the Brocks’ doorway, and not just because this time I wasn’t practically knocking his front teeth out. It was different because, with my eyes closed, it didn’t feel like I was kissing Luke Preston, Super Prick. It felt like I was just kissing a guy. A guy who was someone I could see calling my boyfriend.

“I should get going.” I pulled away and this time instead of swiping my fingers across my lips, I let the feeling of Luke stay there. “I’m already going to be late for history.”

“I’ll call you tonight,” Luke told me before I closed the car door.

And you know what? Even though I knew better, I actually believed him.

I
really overestimated myself. Or maybe I overestimated Luke. He hadn’t said exactly when he’d call me, but from the time I got home from school, I made sure our phone was free and I was close enough to hear it ring. But after two hours with no call, I started to worry.

Six o’clock: nothing. I check to make sure our phone is still working. It is. I figure maybe Luke meant he’d call me on my cell, although I hadn’t given him the number. Even so, I made sure my phone was charged and the ringer was on. But still, nothing.

Seven o’clock: Josie calls to see if I’ve heard from Luke. I have to tell her no. And then she asks if I’d gotten Luke to apologize to her, and I have to say no again. Then I start thinking about what a horrible friend I am, sipping Fribbles with Luke while I was supposed to be making him better for Josie. I suck.

Eight o’clock: I call Lucy to see if maybe I should call Luke instead of waiting for him to call me.

“No way, you can’t do that. It would be cheating. Besides, it’s not like you really want to talk to him. You just need Luke to call you so we can see if he’s learning anything from you.”

I knew she was right. Sort of. Luke and I had talked all about calling when you say you’re going to call; it was practically the first lesson at the Brocks’ house. So, yes, he knew he should call. But there was another reason I kept picking at my cuticles with the kitchen scissors while I watched the phone. A reason so completely insane it made me almost wonder if I wasn’t cut out for this after all. Or if I was so weak, I’d let Luke get under my skin when I was supposed to be the one getting under his.

A small part of me really
did
want to talk to Luke. Not a
huge
part, but a part big enough to make me feel like I was losing control over the situation. And if Josie and Lucy knew that, they’d call an end to my little mission ASAP. So I didn’t say anything.

And I sat there for another hour.

Nine o’clock: Still no call. That little part of me that actually thought I wanted to talk to him? Well, it’s gone. At this point all I could think about was how I wanted to bitch him out tomorrow morning at school, to tell him he was not only obnoxious and full of himself, but that he was unreliable to boot. But somehow I didn’t think that he’d find “unreliable” to be some huge put-down (although my mother would rank reliability right up there with excusing yourself from the dinner table as one of the top ten cardinal rules of good manners).

Ten o’clock: No call. Nada. Nothing. Complete silence. After six hours it was time to give up and admit that Luke wasn’t going to call.

Before going to bed, I called Lucy and Josie to give them an update. Josie conferenced us all in on her digital phone system. “He didn’t call.”

“God, he sure isn’t making this easy for you.”

“I will persevere,” I assured them, thinking that I’d been really dumb to let Luke lull me into a false sense of security. Maybe this was what he did with every girl. Damn, he was good. That whole Friendly’s thing, it was probably something he did with all his conquests, the only thing that varied was the location—Friendly’s, Pizzeria Uno, Burger King. It didn’t matter. “Don’t worry. There’s only going to be one winner when we’re done. And that will be me.”

“Well, don’t forget the other winners,” Lucy reminded me. “All the girls who’ll have the guide when they open up the time capsule.”

“Yeah, sure. I meant them, too.”

But I didn’t. This wasn’t about them. This was between me and Luke. Tomorrow morning I wasn’t just going to persevere. I was going to succeed.

I’d let my guard down and Luke had weakened me. And all it took was a freaking Fribble. God, I was easy. No Chinese water torture, no bamboo shoots up my fingernails, just a thick chocolate shake and my resolve took a backseat to my stomach.

I’d let Luke wear me down. And I wasn’t letting him do that again.

“I thought you were going to call last night.” I was waiting for Luke when he walked through the front door before homeroom.

But instead of feeling ambushed and making a run for the music room, Luke smiled. He smiled! Like a smile was going to get him out of this.

“Yeah, sorry about that. Coach had a meeting for the lacrosse team after school and I ended up getting home later than I thought and I still had to study for the calc test.”

It was a completely plausible excuse, but it was still an excuse. There was still plenty of time to pick up the phone and make a call. There was still plenty of time to call
me
.

But I couldn’t point that out. I didn’t tell him that I’d sat by the phone waiting for it to ring. Because that was what he probably expected. Luke probably thought every girl would wait by the phone hoping he’d call. So, instead, I did the opposite.

I changed my tactic. “It’s no big deal.” I actually managed to sound like I meant it.

Luke turned to me, looking more than a little skeptical. “It’s no big deal?”

I almost got the feeling he was testing me to see if I’d flip out, like he expected. Like most girls would. He was probably waiting for me to bring up our conversation at the Brock’s, but I wasn’t going to do that. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of turning me into a bundle of insecurities like he expected.

If he could lull me into a false sense of security, then I could do the same thing to him.

“Don’t worry about it,” I repeated, trying to make it look like I was smiling instead of gritting my teeth. “Like I said, it’s no big deal.”

“No big deal, my ass,” Josie spat when I told her about his lame excuse. We were hanging out in the dark room during lunch, one of the few places we could talk without worrying about someone hearing us. Lucy and I watched as Josie dipped rubber-tipped tongs into a tray of liquid and swished it around until a black-and-white image started to appear. “Are we kidding ourselves thinking we can change him?” She looked up at me and the red light gave her hair an orange glow.

“I don’t think so. There are times I actually believe he’s getting better.” I thought about our lunch at Friendly’s and how Luke had taken me to my old house. He’d displayed such promise, so much, in fact, that I’d believed him when he said he’d call. It was the relationship equivalent of getting sucker punched.

“Well, he sure had me convinced—and so did you. Check these out,” Josie told us, reaching over into a pile of glossy photo paper and spreading out a handful of black-and-white pictures like she was dealing a hand of cards. “You actually look like you’re enjoying yourself!”

I reached for one of the five-by-seven glossy photos and almost stopped breathing when I realized what I had in my hand. They were pictures all right, but they weren’t just random snapshots of arbitrary subjects. They were pictures of me making out with Luke in the front seat of his car.

This time
I’d
been ambushed.

Lucy looked over my shoulder. “Wow, you really do look like you’re having fun.” She patted me on the back, impressed. “You’re pretty good at this.”

“How’d you even know I was there?” Josie lifted a fully developed photograph out of the tray and hung it on the clothesline strung across the room. “I tried to make sure Luke didn’t see me, but then when I saw you lean over and kiss him, I knew you knew I was there.”

“Yeah, well, I figured as long as we had an audience…” I let my voice trail off because I didn’t know what else to say. That I’d had no idea she was there? That I hadn’t kissed Luke to show her our plan was working, I’d kissed him because—I couldn’t even think it. The idea was too mortifying. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going to check in on us?”

“I didn’t plan it, or anything. I just went down to my car to get my camera and I saw you two sitting there in his front seat. Until I saw you I hadn’t even thought about it, but then it made perfect sense. I think your idea is brilliant!”

My idea? What idea? To make out with Luke and confirm that he’s a great kisser? “You do?”

“Yeah, including photos in the guide will prove it works.”

“That
is
a good idea,” Lucy agreed. “Boy, you’re really getting into this guide thing, aren’t you?”

I shrugged, not feeling like I was getting into the guide so much as I was getting into the subject matter.

Lucy sorted through the stack of photos—me and Luke close up, farther away, moving together, kissing, and then pulling apart. She handed the stack to me and I quickly sorted through each sheet. It was like one of those flip books; if I went through the pictures fast enough it almost became a movie, only it had gone from a romantic comedy to a horror flick.

Look at me! Lucy was right. I
did
look like I was having fun. And why? Because I was! I was a traitor to my own cause.

Could we look any more oblivious in the pictures? I mean, Josie couldn’t have been more than ten feet away snapping away on her camera and we didn’t even notice her. She was a good photographer, but it wasn’t like Josie was a seasoned paparazzo or anything. At the very least we should have seen her when we came up for air.

“When I was in the girls’ room yesterday I overheard two girls talking about me and Luke,” I told them.

Josie and Lucy looked over at me. “What’d they say? Do they know what we’re up to?”

“Quite the opposite,” I answered. “They said they were afraid I was going to get hurt. Like Luke would break my heart or something.”

“That’s crazy.” Josie frowned. “Besides, if that was really the case, why would Lucy and I let you do this? We’re your best friends, we wouldn’t let that happen.”

“Yeah,” Lucy agreed. “We’d never knowingly let you get your feelings crushed.”

I pulled out the last photograph. It was a close-up of Luke and me just after we pulled away from our kiss. Luke looked so genuine. Not like someone who was playing a game with me. Then again, I was looking pretty genuine, too. And I was supposed to be playing a game. Only now I didn’t know what I was doing.

“I know you wouldn’t.” I turned the entire stack of pictures facedown and placed them on the counter. “That’s what friends are for, right?”

Lucy and Josie nodded. “Right.”

I stayed clear of Luke for the rest of the day, not because I was giving up, but because I felt like I’d given up any leverage I’d gained over him. I’d let down my guard and in that moment given Luke the upper hand. I needed to get it back, and I thought that, maybe, giving myself a little distance from him would give me that. If nothing else, it would give me a little perspective. Because, if anything, my perspective was definitely becoming skewed.

Luke must have noticed I was avoiding him (perhaps because every time I spotted him I ducked behind some unsuspecting underclassman and attempted to morph into a shadow), because after the last bell he was waiting for me. And, because he stood directly in front of my locker, it wasn’t like I could pretend I didn’t see him. Or leave school without coming face-to-face with the situation.

“Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked.

Lucy shut her locker and waited to see what I would say. I waved her away. “You go ahead, I’ll meet you in the parking lot.”

Lucy took off and left me standing there with Luke.

“So you really don’t care that I didn’t call?” he asked.

I shook my head and pretended to organize my books. “Not really.”

“I know I told you I would, but it was late and I had six chapters to catch up on for the calc exam.”

“I understand.” I thought he’d take his get-out-of-jail-free card and run. Instead he stood there and held my locker door open while I put on my coat. I tossed my backpack over my shoulder and prepared to leave. “Really. I do.”

“I know I should have called,” he repeated. “It’s just…”

“I know. The test.”

“And the lacrosse meeting, don’t forget that,” Luke added, as if he was pleading his case before a judge and wanted to make sure I weighed every piece of evidence.

“How could I forget?” I answered. He really did seem sincere. Even repentant. Besides, wasn’t I really the one who should be apologizing? For lying to him this entire time. For letting him pay for my Fribble and fries when I had ulterior motives?

It wasn’t that I felt sorry for Luke—I’m not
that
much of a softy. I just felt something, even if I wasn’t sure what it was.

“Okay,” I gave in.

Luke smiled and let go of my locker door.

“Can you do me a favor, though? In the future, don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“Promise.” Luke held up two fingers like he was making some sort of Boy Scout oath. Come to think of it, I’m pretty sure in sixth grade he went to some sort of Boy Scout training camp where he learned how to tie knots—something I only remember because he’d tied Lucy’s sneakers together while demonstrating some nautical knot and she ended up having to play soccer barefoot that day. “Hey, I hear you’re going up to Josie’s house for winter break.”