The Boy Who Paints Me (12 page)

“Oh, I’m in!” Layla sang.

“Rainie?” Megan asked.

“Erm, no, I think I’ll just stay here for a bit,” I replied as she looked at me with a disappointed expression on her face. “Maybe I’ll come over later,” I continued, causing her to start smiling again.

The truth was that I didn’t know how to play, and I didn’t want to be a burden. So many years of my life were spent locked up in a house, and I was starting to feel a little lost. I wanted to enjoy these things and to have fun but I just needed time, that’s all.

“Ok, see you in a bit,” she replied as she dragged Layla away.

“Ouch, you grab like a man!” Layla squealed as they ran off giggling, catching the attention of the two guys who were currently playing volleyball.

I smiled to myself as I watched my friends having fun. Wow,
friends,
that sounds strange. I never expected to be sitting here on a beach having fun let alone with friends. I wanted this life so bad, I just didn’t think that I could have it, not forever anyway.  I looked away from Layla and Megan and watched as Caroline giggled and ran around as Callum splashed her with water. She tried to splash him back but he ended up picking her up by the waist and then throwing her back in the water. She finally popped her head up out of the water, looking ready for war until he drew a little closer and let his lips touch hers. I closed my eyes at that point and let out a deep sigh. Seeing Caroline splashing around in the water like that reminded me of Leighton and I. We seemed to have a thing for water, I thought as I chuckled to myself. I let my head hang back and the sun soak my skin as I thought about what it would have been like if Leighton had kissed me that day after Megan’s barbeque. I wanted so badly to know why he hadn’t but I guess that I would never get the chance to ask, since I ruined everything.

“Hey,” a deep voice said as I felt someone take a seat next to me.

My eyes snapped open and locked with bright blue eyes. I didn’t recognise him but he was smiling at me like he had just won something. His blonde hair was wet and small strands were stuck to his forehead. Drops of water were casually running down his exposed chest. I looked up at his smiling face in confusion.

“Erm, hi,” I replied as I scooted further away from him.

“I don’t bite,” he chuckled as he watched me, “I’m Jace,” he continued, extending his hand.

“Rainie,” I replied, ignoring his hand. I didn’t want to be rude but I didn’t want to touch him either. Leighton was the only male that I didn’t mind touching me, and I didn’t particularly like the way that
Jace
was staring at me either. I had seen that look way too many times...lust.

“I haven’t seen you around here before,” he added as he kept his gaze on me.

“I haven’t been around here before,” I said as I prayed that one of the girls would hurry up and come back. I should have just faced the embarrassment and played volleyball.

“I know because I would have definitely noticed, believe me,” he said as his eyes lingered on my legs. Thank God that I had on this dress. I felt so uncomfortable under his scrutinizing eyes.

“Right.”

“Where are your friends?” He asked.

“There,” I nodded towards where Megan and Layla were happily playing volleyball.

“How come you’re not playing?” He questioned.

“I am. I’m going to now,” I added as I started to rise to my feet in a hurry.

“Hey, wait a minute,” he smiled as his hands slipped over mine, making me shudder at his touch. “That was very sexy,” he whispered as he licked his bottom lip slowly. He lifted his other hand and held up Caroline’s sun lotion.  “Before you go, mind doing me a favor?” He said as he shook the lotion in front of me.

My entire body froze. That word, again. I felt my face go cold and my body start shaking. My vision began to blur as the tears burned the back of my eyes. I had lost the ability to hear and as much as I fought it, the memories came flooding back...

I had signed up to an extra math club at school. I didn’t need to; I was good at math but I had to. If it meant delaying going home then that’s what I would do. I pushed the front door of my house open slowly, trying not to make a sound. As I went to pass the dining room, I found my mom curled up in a ball on the floor, rocking back and forth.

“Mom?” I asked as I bent down in front of her.

“Just go away, Rain,” she whispered as the tears rolled down her swollen cheek. I lifted her chin and looked at her eye which was so swollen that she could barely open it. I felt my heart clench and a nauseating feeling come over me.

“What happened?” I asked in shock. This wasn’t the first time that Mitch had hit her but it was definitely the worst. He usually tried to leave marks in hidden places but today, for some reason, he didn’t care.

“What happened?” She scoffed.

“Yeah,” I whispered as I tried to control my shaking hands.

“You, you happened,” she said as she slapped my hand away from her face.

“I don’t understand,” I muttered as I tried to understand why she was mad at me. I hadn’t done anything, I hadn’t even been here. I was at school all day, so what could I have possibly done.

“You don’t understand?” She growled as she rose to her knees before shoving me in the chest. I lost control of my body and went dizzy as my head made contact with the wall. “Of course you don’t understand, do you! You made him hate me! Because of you he doesn’t even make love to me anymore; he doesn’t touch me because he’s waiting for you! Waiting until you’re old enough to take my place,” She growled as she bent down in my face.

“What?” I gasped in confusion as I tried to ignore the ringing in my ears.

“You see, you’re his favourite, Rain. He doesn’t want to harm a single hair on your filthy little body. He thinks you’re perfect. He said that I’m not good enough to seal his business deals but you, oh you’re just so beautiful and so -”

“You think I like it!” I screamed as the anger suddenly took over me as her words sunk in. She had no idea what it was like to do Mitch’s favors, night after night, wishing that maybe, if I was lucky I might just die. She had no idea.

“Yes! You do! You like being his pet, the one that he won’t hurt. Don’t you?” she screamed as she shook my shoulders, making me even dizzier.

Somehow I found the strength to push her away.

“Like it! I hate it! Do you have any idea how it feels to be used night after night just so your boyfriend can keep his ‘clients’ happy? Do you have any idea how many times I just wanted one of them to kill me so that it could be over? Do you know what it’s like to know that your own mother, the one person in the world that’s always supposed to love you, let someone do that to you! Do you!” I screamed as I started to run out of breath. I lifted my hand to my head as the pain shot through me. “No, I don’t like it, but I stay because I would rather it was me than you. Look on the bright side, Mom, in a few days your wounds will heal. What about mine?” I watched a sudden realisation washed over her as she broke down crying. I walked away and ran to my room. I suddenly realised that the woman that used to love me was dead, just like Rainie, she was dead. And neither of them were coming back....

“Rai, Rai,” I felt someone shaking my shoulders as my eyes began to focus. It took me a minute to understand what was going on or where I was. As my eyes focused, I remembered that I was on the beach. A panic came over me as I remembered Jace and the way he was looking at me. I tried to scramble to my feet as my hands started shaking again. I felt a strong hand on my shoulders, pushing me back down.

“Rai, it’s ok, calm down,” a soothing voice said as my eyes finally settled on a concerned face. As I took in Leighton’s features and his worried face, I didn’t think twice before throwing my arms around him and letting him hold me. I held him so tight as I tried to control my breathing again. As the warmth of his body moulded with mine, I felt a sudden relief come over me. I felt his hands wrap around my waist until he pulled me into his lap. I didn’t care, I needed him, I wanted him. I needed to feel his touch. I felt completely and ridiculously safe in his arms, like the world couldn’t touch me. I let the tears spill from my eyes as I clutched onto him, tighter.

“It’s ok,” he cooed as he held me even closer, “It’s ok, you’re safe,” he whispered, and I believed him. With every bone in my body, I believed him. I trusted him. I knew right there and then that I had made my decision. I couldn’t live without feeling him hold me again; I couldn’t live without his touch. It wasn’t a part of my plan, Leighton wasn’t a part of my plan but I needed him. I couldn’t let him go but I had to. Deep down, I knew that I had to.

“You ok?” He asked as he pulled back just enough so that he could look into my eyes. I nodded my head and took a deep breath. “Take a walk with me,” he said gently as I slid off his lap. For the first time my eyes landed on his bare chest as he stood to his feet. His abs were perfect, and I couldn’t tear my eyes away. He had on a pair of blue shorts that actually matched my dress. His feet were bare and his toned chest was glistening in the spot where my tears had landed. He smiled down at me before pulling me up with one hand. It was only when I stood to my feet that I realised how many eyes were on me. 

“This isn’t a soap opera people, move on before
I
move you on!” Megan shouted from somewhere in the crowd.

“Yeah, you heard her, move,” Caroline added.

A weak smile filled my face as I thought about what they were doing. I was lucky to have friends like them.

“Here,” Leighton said as he slipped the shades off his head and placed them on my face. “It’s just me and you, Rai, ok?” He added. I nodded my head as I felt his hand slip protectively into mine. I felt an electric feeling shoot up my arm – like always – and I knew that this was where I needed to be. I didn’t know how but I needed it.

We walked in silence for a while until we reached a secluded part of the beach where no one else seemed to be. As we reached a cluster of large, grey rocks, Leighton lifted me up, so that I was sitting on one before climbing up himself. I looked out at the water and thought about how easy it would be if I could just throw my problems out there and walk away.

“We’ve got a thing for water, you and I,” I said as I smiled down at the water that was splashing on my feet.

“Yeah, we do,” he chuckled, quietly. We sat in silence, consumed in our own thoughts until for some reason I broke the silence.

“I lied,” was all that I said. I didn’t look at him but I knew that he was staring at me.

“About what?” He asked.

“When we were at the lake, you asked if I would stay,
if
I had a choice, I said no. I lied,” I replied as I let my eyes close.

“Why?” He asked in a gentle voice.

“Because...I didn’t expect to meet you; you wasn’t a part of the plan, Leighton,” I admitted. I don’t know why I felt like I could tell Leighton anything but I did, and I wanted to.

“You wasn’t a part of mine either,” he confessed. I raised my eyebrows in confusion as I looked at him. “When I saw you that first day, climbing up Sarah’s house, I was just going to catch you and walk away, that was it. But...I couldn’t, I just couldn’t leave you alone. I tried, believe me. I wanted to know you. There’s just something about you, Rai, something that I can’t let go of,” he stated.

“Why did you try to leave me alone?” I asked, curiously.

“You had one single bag and a look of fear on your face that day. I knew that you had no intention of staying. I knew that you were running away from something. I didn’t want to let myself get close if you were just going to run away.”

“Oh.” It was all that I could say. I could feel the wind blowing against my face and water splashing on my toes as I tried to ignore the funny feeling in my stomach.

“It never worked, by the way,” he laughed, emotionlessly. “Why are you running, Rai?” He asked after several minutes of silence.