The Bridal Path: Danielle (17 page)

“Everything okay?” she asked.

He nodded.

“How come you’re not outside with the rest of the boys?”

“I wanted to talk to you.”

She regarded him closely. “Sounds serious.”

He nodded. “It’s pretty serious.”

“Then why don’t you pour yourself a glass of milk, grab a cookie and sit down and tell me what’s on your mind.” She put the batter aside. She’d finish making the cake later. This was clearly more important.

When he sat down without either milk or one of her freshly baked oatmeal raisin cookies, Dani knew the topic was indeed very serious. She pulled out a chair and sat down opposite him.

“What’s up?”

“I was wondering about sex,” he told her, his blue eyes fixed on her face. “Could you explain it to me?”

If he’d asked her about quantum physics she couldn’t have been any more stunned or out of her depth. The question left her absolutely speechless.

“You want me to explain about sex?” she repeated, still not certain she’d understood him correctly, even though the question seemed direct enough. She swallowed hard and tried to buy some time by asking, “What has your father told you?”

“Nothing that made any sense,” Timmy said, looking disgusted. “I guess he thinks I’m just a dumb kid or something.”

“I’m sure it’s not that at all,” she told him. She suspected Slade had probably been as dumbfounded as she was.

“Look, I know all about kissing and stuff,” he informed her, then added, “but there’s more, right? I mean stuff men and women do when they’re married?”

Dani nodded, at a loss as to how to get into this. Surely Slade would tell Timmy whatever he wanted him to know, whatever he felt the boy was capable of understanding.

“I really think this is a topic you should be discussing with your father,” she said.

“But he doesn’t explain,” Timmy repeated, his frustration evident. “I told him I was going to ask you.”

“Oh, really? And what did he say when you told him that?”

Timmy promptly looked guilty. “He told me not to,” he admitted in little more than a whisper. “But I’ve gotta know, Dani. I’ve just gotta.”

She doubted the urgency was quite as extreme as he was making it out to be. Timmy was ten, for pity’s sake. He still thought girls were yucky…with the possible exception of Hattie McDonald, whose batting skill he seemed to admire quite a bit.

“I’ll speak to your father,” she promised by way of a compromise.

“Couldn’t you just tell me?”

“I’m sorry. This should be between you and him.”

Timmy looked thoroughly disappointed. “Will you at least tell him to tell me everything this time?” he asked.

His expression was so innocent Dani couldn’t imagine that he had any idea what he was asking of her. Still, with those wide blue eyes regarding her so hopefully, she couldn’t say no.

“I’ll do the best I can to convince him you’re ready to hear everything.”

A smile stretched clear across his face. “Gee, thanks,” he said, bouncing up and grabbing the cookies he’d forsaken before. “Make it soon, okay? It’s really, really important.”

“The next time I see him. I promise.”

* * *

It was a few days before she caught so much as a glimpse of Slade, much less got him alone long enough to bring up Timmy’s interest in sex.

Cheeks flaming, she decided to be direct. “Timmy wants to know more about sex,” she blurted.

Slade groaned. “Damn. I thought I’d settled that with him.”

So the topic really was no surprise. His dismay was evident. “Would you mind telling me how the subject came up in the first place?” she asked curiously. “I know he’s precocious and all that, but he is only ten.”

Slade stared at her for what seemed to be an eternity. Just when Dani was certain he didn’t intend to answer, he blurted, “Actually, it started out with a discussion about you and me and marriage.”

She blinked at that and murmured, “Oh, my.” No wonder he hadn’t been coming around lately. She could just imagine how uncomfortable that had made him. It was nice to know, though, that she had Timmy very much in her corner. Even though their relationship seemed on solid enough footing, she’d had her doubts ever since that outburst of his. With kids, you never quite knew what was lurking beneath the surface of their outward appearances.

“Oh my, indeed!” Slade said dryly. “He saw us kissing, assumed that had something to do with wanting sex and was pretty sure that ought to lead to marriage. He’s developed an interesting set of moral values at an early age, especially since he doesn’t have any idea what he’s talking about.”

Dani resisted the urge to chuckle. Slade didn’t seem to see the humor in it. “Definitely some leaps in logic,” she conceded, “but I like the way he thinks.”

When Slade started to respond, Dani touched a finger to his mouth to silence him.

“Hush,” she said. “I told you before that I’m not in a rush for your decision. Take all the time you want. I know you’re not convinced yet that marrying me is a great idea.”

“I am about one part,” he muttered, though he didn’t look one bit happy about it.

“Which part would that be?”

Instead of answering, he unexpectedly hauled her into his arms and crushed her mouth beneath his.

Maybe absence did make the heart grow fonder, after all, she concluded, giving herself up to the desperation in that kiss. She could feel the barely leashed desire slamming through him, even as a matching need rocketed through her. He was hard, hungry and urgent as his lips plundered hers. She found that far more telling than all the denials he might have uttered about his feelings for her.

“Damn,” he murmured eventually, still holding her against him and looking more bemused and upset than ever. “You must have bewitched me or something.”

Dani felt a smile tugging at her lips. “Why would you say that?”

“Because I’m extraordinarily tempted to do something I vowed to myself I wouldn’t do again.”

“Which is?”

“Make love to you.”

Puzzled by the admission, she stared into his eyes. “Why would you have vowed never to make love to me again?”

“Because sooner or later, you’re bound to get hurt.”

“Why? I’m a grown-up. I know what I’m getting into here.”

“Do you?” For a moment he avoided her gaze. When he finally looked into her eyes again, his expression was bleak. “It can’t be any more than an affair, Dani,” he said. “And I know how badly you want marriage. Hell, you deserve marriage. Nobody deserves it more.”

Her heart seemed to go perfectly still. Panic made her almost breathless. “Are you ruling out that possibility forever? Is this your final answer?”

His expression filled with sorrow, Slade nodded. “I won’t marry again, Dani. I’m no good at it.”

Astonished by his adamance even though he’d hinted at it before, Dani pushed aside her own fears and demanded, “Where on earth did you ever get a ridiculous idea like that?”

“I was married before, remember? It wasn’t exactly the most positive experience of my life,” he said bitterly.

“Tell me about it,” she pleaded. “Don’t I at least deserve to know about the one thing that seems to be standing between us?”

“You do, but I can’t talk about it. If I’d understood what I was doing wrong with Amanda, I would have changed, or at least I like to think I would have. Now it’s over and done with. We all paid a very high price for my first mistake,” he said fiercely. “I can’t risk a second one.”

“What does that mean?”

“Bottom line? It means I’m sorry. It means I need to get out of here before I do something we’ll both regret.”

Casting one last regretful look in her direction, he slammed open the screen door and walked outside. Dani followed him, fighting tears and a terrible sense of desolation.

When he was halfway to his car, she called out.

He paused, but didn’t look back.

“I could never regret anything that happened between us,” she said. “Never.”

She was almost certain she saw a shudder sweep over him at her words, but he climbed into his car and drove off anyway, leaving her feeling more alone than she ever had in her life.

Chapter Twelve

N
aturally, since he’d declared to Dani that she was totally off-limits, he couldn’t stop thinking of how desperately he wanted her. Perhaps she had known then what he had not…that he would never be able to resist her for long.

Two interminable weeks passed while he tried to stick to his promise to himself to avoid her. He was reduced to pleading with his sons to fill him in on what she was doing, how she looked, whether she’d asked about him. All in all, it was a very unsatisfying way to get information. He was frustrated as hell in more ways than one.

Maybe he was being ridiculous. Maybe she really knew what she was saying when she told him that she didn’t expect marriage until and unless he wanted it. Maybe she could live with an affair, at least for the foreseeable future.

He tried very hard to convince himself that she was telling the truth, because believing her suited his purposes. His conscience, however, told a very different tale. And late at night he wondered if he wasn’t stubbornly clinging to the past to protect his ego. No risk, no damage. How pathetic was that?

One morning after the third week without so much as a glimpse of her, he told his conscience to take a hike. Dani Wilde had gotten under his skin and there seemed to be nothing he could do to change that. He decided he might as well take her at her word and play this whole relationship out to see where it led. Once in a while he even dared to admit that he was falling in love with her.

Still, they needed time to be together, time to get to know each other that didn’t involve two rambunctious, demanding little boys. Time to discover if she really wanted him…or just his sons. He needed to know for sure that he came first before taking a chance with his own feelings.

Accomplishing time alone required quite a bit of determination and ingenuity.

He’d made only a few friends since moving to town, and there were even fewer people likely to baby-sit the Watkins terrors, as they were not-so-affectionately known. Sara and Jake Dawson were among those who might be willing.

Slade eyed the phone doubtfully, weighed the implications of asking the couple to do him this favor, then sucked in a deep breath and dialed. At least Trent was still out of town and wouldn’t be drawing all sorts of conclusions from his request.

Sara answered. Slade wasn’t sure if she was the one he would have chosen to explain his dilemma to, but she said Jake was away from the house.

“I was wondering,” he began, then hesitated.

“Yes?”

“I know it would be a big imposition.”

“What would?” She chuckled at his reticence. “Come on, Slade, spit it out.”

“Could you and Jake keep an eye on the boys for me this evening?”

“Oh,” she said sweetly. “Isn’t Dani available?”

Her tone suggested that she knew perfectly well how he intended that Dani be occupied, but she was going to drag it out of him. In fact, she seemed to be getting a huge kick out of making him spell it out. Maybe this was the payback he deserved for putting her sister on hold for the past three weeks, while he wrestled with his conscience and his growing vulnerability to this amazing woman.

“Maybe this was a bad idea,” he muttered.

“No, it’s not,” she said hurriedly. “Jake and I would be happy to watch the boys. You could bring them out here now and they could spend the rest of the day and the night.”

“That’s not necessary,” he protested. “A few hours would be plenty.”

“Not if you have in mind what I think you have in mind,” she retorted.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Just bring the boys out here now, Slade. They’ll be fine overnight.”

“Pirate, too?” he asked skeptically. “They won’t spend the night there without him. The blasted dog’s a nuisance.”

“We’d be happy to have him,” Sara assured him. “It’s a ranch. We love animals.”

“Thanks, Sara. I can’t tell you what this means to me.”

“Oh, I can imagine,” she said dryly. “But I’m doing it for Dani, not you.”

Slade ignored the implications of that remark. “We’ll be there in about an hour, if that’s okay with you.”

“See you then.”

“Oh, one last thing, Sara.”

“Yes?”

“You will let me be the one to tell Dani about my plans for tonight, won’t you?” he inquired dryly.

She laughed at that. “Sure, but you’d better get in touch with her real quick. I’m very bad at keeping secrets, especially secrets this juicy.”

“She’ll be my next call,” he promised.

Unfortunately, Dani wasn’t answering her phone. She’d probably gone out to make a delivery to the general store. Slade was far too anxious to set his plan into motion to wait around for her to get back.

“Kevin, Timmy, get your pj’s and toothbrushes. You’re going out to stay at Three-Stars.”

Both boys raced into the kitchen. “We are? How come?” Timmy asked.

“Because Sara and Jake invited you,” he explained, stretching the truth. “And I thought you’d have a great time.”

“Pirate, too?” Kevin asked as the dog stared up at Slade hopefully.

“Yes, Pirate, too.”

Timmy’s gaze narrowed suspiciously. “What about you? Where will you be?”

“I have a few things to take care of.”

“Like what?”

Slade tried to rein in his exasperation. “Timmy, don’t you want to go to the ranch?”

His son’s chin set stubbornly. “Not without you.”

“I do,” Kevin said. “Let Timmy stay here.”

“You’re both going. I have some things to do, and Sara and Jake volunteered to look after you.”

“How come we can’t stay with Dani?” Timmy asked, his expression mutinous.

“Because she’s busy.”

“Dani’s never too busy for us,” Timmy protested. “I’ll bet if I ask her, we can stay with her.” He started to reach for the phone.

“No,” Slade said more harshly than he’d intended. Timmy’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. Please, son, just take my word for it. Dani cannot baby-sit you tonight.”

“I’m not a baby, anyway,” Timmy declared. “I’m almost eleven. I can stay by myself.”