The Bright Side (14 page)

“Okay … eh …” “What?
”

“Does Colm know? About Gerry?” “Well, yes. I had to tell him, I couldn’t –” “No, that’s fine. Just asking.
”

“I didn’t want –
”

“It’s fine, really. I would have told him if you hadn’t.” “Okay.
”

“Okay then.
”

We looked at each other uncertainly. Then I took off in the direction of the living room
.

Physically, at least, I’d always thought that Colm was Melissa’s exact opposite. Where she was tall and willowy, he was short and, not to put too fine a point on it, dumpy. Even their faces seemed to have gone out of their way to provide contrast. Melissa’s natural expression was serious, melancholy even. Colm’s default setting was sunny and open. If he’d been an actor, he would have been type-cast as a rosy-cheeked butcher, always ready with a smile and a joke as he handed over the sausages. When I walked into the sitting room that day and got my first look at him in months, I almost choked on my own tongue
.

“Colm!” I gasped. “You’ve lost weight!” I was pretty pleased with myself for having come up with this description of what had happened to him. What I really felt like saying was:
Colm!
Are
you
in
the
final
stages
of
a
terminal
disease?

He sprang to his feet and hugged me hard. Then he withdrew from the hug and held me by my shoulders in a let’s- have-a-look-at-you sort of way. “Jackie O … how are you?
”

“I’m okay, Colm.
”

He leaned in and whispered. “I heard what happened. I’m so sorry.
”

“Yeah. Cheers.
”

“We’ll
talk
later.
If
you
want
to,
I
mean.
You
don’t
have
to.”
“Don’t
WHISPER!”
Niall
yelled
from
his
position
six inches
in
front
of
the
TV.
Then
he
spun
round
and
glared
at
us,
as
if
to
emphasise
that
he
wasn’t
joking
.

“Niall’s watching a DVD,” Colm said brightly. “Aren’t you, son? Tell Auntie Jackie what it is.
”

The boy’s shoulders drooped. “It’s a DVD.” Colm tried again. “Yes, but which –
”

“SPONGEBOB, SPONGEBOB, SPONGEBOB! IT’S SPONGEBOB!
”

“All right,” his dad said. “Calm down.” He looked at me and shrugged, embarrassed
.

I smiled to let him know that there was no need
.

For the next twenty minutes or so, we watched the cartoon, more or less in silence
.

I amused myself by trying to guess the value of the artwork on their walls. Since I knew less than nothing about art, it was kind of pointless. I based my estimate on the fact that they had real art – canvasses that someone had arted all over – as opposed to cheap prints from Roches Stores (like ours). The figure I eventually came up with was: a lot. Stuck for something t
o
say ou
t
loud, I wa
s
eventually reduced to mentioning Colm’s weight loss again. He smiled ruefully and nodded towards Niall. I took that to mean that it was stress- related, and not something of which he was particularly proud
.

When the DVD finished, Colm leaped from his chair and scooped Niall up into his arms
.

“Right, sunshine,” he said, “let’s get you into a bath and a bed. Kiss your Auntie Jackie goodnight.” He swept his wriggling cargo down toward my face
.

I braced myself for a punch or a head-butt, neither of which arrived
.

“GoodNIGHT!” Niall yelled and planted a smacker on my cheek
.

“Sleep well,” I said. “Don’t let the bed-bugs bite.
”

His face fell. As his father carried him from view, he said, “Bugs?
”

CHAPTER
7

Dinner
was
weird.
It
was
if
I
had
just
happened
to
drop in
on
my
way
past.
We
talked
about
the
weather
(the
weather!)
,
Melissa’
s
impendin
g
retur
n
t
o
th
e
legal
profession,
property
prices
(of
course),
Ant
and
Dec,
the many
problems
associated
with
hiring
tradesmen,
good
spots for
a
weekend
break,
the
late
John
Paul
II,
Jade
Goody, weirdo
patients
of
Colm’s,
Bono,
Michael
Flatley
and
the fact
that
none
of
us
knew
anyone
who
used
cocaine,
even though
the
papers
kept
telling
us
that
practically
everyone was
at
it.
There
were
a
couple
of
occasions
when
I
almost mentioned
Gerry
myself,
just
to
shatter
the
strangeness. Melissa
was
more
open
towards
me
than
usual,
but
that wasn’t
saying
much.
The
barrier
between
us
was
still
there,
like
a
pane
of
glass,
a
discreet
but
effective
blockage
.

We were halfway through dessert when the phone rang. I knew it was Gerry, somehow, even before Melissa returned from the kitchen and told me so
.

“You don’t have to talk to him,” she said. “Not if you don’t feel like it.
”

“Exactly,” Colm chipped in. “Maybe you should let him stew for a while. He knows you’re safe. Tomorrow’s another –
”

“No,” I said, getting up. “No, I’ll talk to him.
”

In the kitchen I found the phone sitting on its end by the knife block. It seemed to be gently pulsing, as if it was a living, breathing, quite possibly dangerous animal. I picked it up and wet my lips
.

“Yes,” I said. It seemed a better bet than “Hello”
.

There was nothing on the other end for a moment. Then I heard heavy breathing. It sounded perilously close to … heavy breathing
.

“Jackie,” he said eventually. “Yes.
”

“Jackie … I’ve been ringing around for the past hour.” “Really.
”

“Melissa was last on my list.” “What do you want?
”

He took a deep breath. “I want you to come home.” “No.
”

“Jackie, we have to have a … conversation.” “Do we? And what do we have to say?” Another deep breath. “I know I’ve hurt you.” “Do you?
”

“Jackie,
please
.
I’m
sorry.
I’m
lost
here,
I
don’t
know
what
to
say.
All
I’ve
got
is
sorry
.
”

I manufactured a pause. “Not much, is it?
”

“No. It isn’t. I know it isn’t. That’s why I want to see you. I want us to talk about it properly, face to face, so I can –
”

“No, Gerry. Just … no, all right?
”

There was silence for a few seconds. Then he said, “But you believe me, don’t you? You believe me that it was just once, just one stupid, ridiculous mistake?
”

I didn’t want to get drawn into specifics – I was much more comfortable with the short rhetorical questions and general fobbing-off. But this, I felt, was something that needed an answer. “Why should I? She’s been flirting with you for months, don’t deny it.
Months
.
”

“She –
”

“And you were supposed to be shooting a wedding this morning. What, do you expect me to believe that it got cancelled at the last minute so you had to come home and then you happened to bump into Lisa and things got out of hand? You expect me to believe that instead of the other explanation – that there never was a wedding and you and her were, basically, on a fucking
date
?
”

“Yes. That’s exactly what I expect you to believe. You got my message, didn’t you?
”

“What message?
”

“On your mobile. I rang you this morning, but it was engaged, so I left a message. The wedding
was
cancelled. The groom’s mother had a coronary in the middle of the night. She died.
”

I felt the ground shift beneath me, just a little. “No. I didn’t get any message.
”

“Please, check your ph–
”

“It hardly makes much difference, does it? So the wedding was cancelled. Gave you a chance to slip in a quickie with your girlfriend, didn’t it? An unexpected treat.
”

“That’s not how it was. I swear on the kids’ lives.
”

“Don’t
you
dare!”
I howled. “Don’t you
dare
swear on the kids’ lives! Not about this. Not about anything. But definitely not about
this
.
”

“Jackie, I –” “Goodbye.
”

I hung up, dearly wishing it was an old-fashioned phone that I could slam home into its cradle. Jabbing the button with my thumb just wasn’t the same
.

I could tell as soon as I walked into the dining room that Melissa and Colm had heard me raise my voice. It was the way they looked at me – nervously, afraid, no doubt, that I was about to break down all over them
.

“Are you okay?” Melissa asked. I retook my seat. “I’m fine.” “How was it?
”

“It was … Excuse me a second.
”

I got up again and out to the hall table, where I had dropped my handbag earlier. Sure enough, I had eight missed calls, all from Gerry. The last seven were recent. The first was from that morning. He must have called when I was talking to Robert or Chrissy. I dialled my message service as I walked back to the kitchen
.

“Hi,
it’s
me,”
Gerry said.
“Unbelievable
–
the
wedding’s
off. The
best
man’s
just
after
calling
me,
in
bits.
The
groom’s
mother
took a
heart
attack
and
died
in
the
middle
of
the
night.
Imagine
that,
the poor
bastard.
Anyway
–
I’m
heading
back
to
the
house
for
a
while, but
I’ll
be
in
the
studio
this
afternoon
if
you’re
looking
for
me.
All right
then.
See
ya.
Don’t
work
too
hard.
As
if.”