The Care and Feeding of Stray Vampires

BOOK: The Care and Feeding of Stray Vampires
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“The thing to remember about a ‘stray’ vampire is that there is probably a good reason he is friendless, alone, and wounded. Approach with caution.”

Iris Scanlon, Half-Moon Hollow’s only daytime vampire concierge, knows more about the undead than she’d like. Running their daylight errands—from letting in the plumber to picking up some chilled Faux Type O—gives her a look at the not-so-glamorous side of vamps. Her rules are strict; relationships are purely business, not friendship—and certainly not anything more. Then she finds her newest client, Cal, poisoned on his kitchen floor, and her quiet life turns upside down.

Cal—who would be devastatingly sexy, if Iris thought vampires were sexy—offers Iris a hefty fee for hiding him at her place. And even though he’s imperious, unfriendly, and doesn’t seem to understand the difference between “employee” and “servant,” she agrees. But as they search for who wants him permanently dead, Iris is breaking more and more of her own rules … particularly those about nudity. Could it be that what she really needs is some intrigue and romance—and her very own stray vampire?

“A chuckle-inducing, southern-fried version of Stephanie Plum.”
—Booklist

MEET THE AUTHORS, WATCH VIDEOS AND MORE AT

SimonandSchuster.com

THE SOURCE FOR READING GROUPS

COVER PHOTOGRAPH BY GENE MOLLICA

MOLLY HARPER
is the author of the acclaimed Nice Girls vampire series:
Nice Girls Don’t Have Fangs, Nice Girls Don’t Date Dead Men, Nice Girls Don’t Live Forever
, and
Nice Girls Don’t Bite Their Neighbors
; a special Half-Moon Hollow eBook:
Driving Mr. Dead
; and a werewolf series set in Grundy, Alaska:
How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf
and
The Art of Seducing a Naked Werewolf
. Her stand-alone novel
And One Last Thing …
was nominated for a RITA Award. She is a former humor columnist and newspaper reporter who studied print journalism at Western Kentucky University and lives in Kentucky with her husband and children. Visit Molly on the web at
mollyharper.com
or at
singleundeadfemale.blogspot.com
.

PRAISE FOR MOLLY HARPER’S WITTY PARANORMAL NOVELS

The Nice Girls series

“Humor, sexy vampires, and mystery … held me enraptured.”

—Fallen Angel Reviews

The Naked Werewolf series

“Comedic entertainment at its best.”

—Single Titles

THE ART OF SEDUCING A NAKED WEREWOLF

“Harper’s gift for character building and crafting a smart, exciting story is showcased well.”


RT Book Reviews
(4 stars)

“Another great girlie read with a paranormal side.”

—Rabid Reads

“Comedic entertainment at its best, where the characters are appealing and the plot is intriguingly original.”

—Single Titles

HOW TO FLIRT WITH A NAKED WEREWOLF

RT Book Reviews
TOP PICK!

“A rollicking, sweet novel that made me laugh aloud. … Mo’s wisecracking, hilarious voice makes this novel such a pleasure to read.”


New York Times
bestselling author Eloisa James

“A page-turning delight … fraught with sexual tension.”


RT Book Reviews
(4
1
/
2
stars)

“A light, fun, easy read, perfect for lazy days.”

—New York Journal of Books

NICE GIRLS DON’T LIVE FOREVER

“A wonderful mix of humor, romance, mystery, and small-town flair.”

—Bitten by Books

“Humor, emotions, and romance are cleverly matched … a paranormal tale filled with amusement, plenty of heartfelt desires, and a touch of suspense.”

—Single Titles

“If you aren’t reading Molly Harper, you should be. The Jane Jameson books are sheer fun and giggle. No, make that chortling, laugh-out-loud till you gasp for breath fun.”

—Night Owl Reviews

NICE GIRLS DON’T DATE DEAD MEN

“Fast-paced, mysterious, passionate, and hilarious.”


RT Book Reviews
(4
1
/
2
stars)

“With its quirky characters and the funny situations they get into, whether they be normal or paranormal,
Nice Girls Don’t Date Dead Men
is an amazing novel.”

—Romance Reviews Today

NICE GIRLS DON’T HAVE FANGS

RT Book Reviews
TOP PICK!

“Harper’s take on vampire lore will intrigue and entertain. … Jane’s snarky first-person narrative is as charming as it is hilarious.”


Publishers Weekly
(starred review)

“Quirky characters, human and vampire alike.”

—Booklist

“Jane is an everygirl with a wonderful sense of humor and quick sarcasm. Add in the mystery and romance and you have your next must-read novel!”


RT Book Reviews
(4
1
/
2
stars)

“Charming, sexy, and hilarious. … I laughed until I cried.”

—Michele Bardsley, bestselling author of
Must Love Lycans

“A brilliantly written adventure chock-full of clever prose, hilarity, and hunky vampires!”

—Stephanie Rowe, national bestselling author of
Kiss at Your Own Risk

“A wonderful treat.”


Romance Reviews Today

“So many funny lines and scenes that I dog-eared my copy just to go back and re-read them.”

—All About Romance

“The word that just keeps popping into my head is … incredible.”

—Books, Books, and More Books

ALSO BY MOLLY HARPER

Driving Mr. Dead

Nice Girls Don’t Have Fangs

Nice Girls Don’t Date Dead Men

Nice Girls Don’t Live Forever

Nice Girls Don’t Bite Their Neighbors

How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf

The Art of Seducing a Naked Werewolf

And One Last Thing …

Thank you for purchasing this Pocket Books eBook.

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Contents

Acknowledgments

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

'Witch Hunt' Excerpt

BOOK: The Care and Feeding of Stray Vampires
4.56Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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