The Casual Rule (7 page)

“I’m in the taxi. I’ll be fine. You live in this neighborhood. It doesn’t make any sense for you to ride downtown with me.”

“It’s not a big deal.” He leans forward and speaks to the taxi driver. “West Village, please.” He looks back at me. “What street?”

“Leroy.” I cross my arms and pout.

“Leroy Street,” he tells the driver who nods and drives off.

Why is he seeing me home? He’s insane if he thinks I’m inviting him in. I know how to protect myself; I’ll knee him in the balls so fast he won’t know what hit him if he makes a move.

I turn to him and smile sweetly. “Just so we’re straight…I’m not inviting you into my apartment. Don’t get any ideas.”

“Perfectly straight.” He laughs.
Nice to know I’m so damned entertaining.

The taxi ride is quiet. The fact that he’s inches away from me makes me nervous. I rub my hands up and down my thighs, trying to calm myself. A part of me wants to rest my head on his shoulder and cuddle up close to him. My thoughts drift off, picturing how it would feel to have his arm wrapped around me as we ride home. I sneak a quick glimpse of Ben and realize he’s doing the same to me. We both pretend we didn’t notice the other staring; our attraction to each other is obvious.

But we work together and neither of us is in the market for a relationship. Such is life.

We reach my building and the taxi stops. Ben slides out of the car and holds out his hand for me. I place my hand in his and slide out. He leans into the taxi and instructs the driver to wait for him while he walks me to the door.

“Ben, this isn’t necessary. I’m here,” I say as he walks me to the front of my building.

“I want to ensure that you make it in safely. I bought you three drinks. It’s my responsibility to make sure you make it home in one piece.”

I fumble with my keys, finally finding the one for the front door to my building. I put the key in the lock and turn it, opening the door.

“Okay, I’m good.” I turn back toward Ben. “Thank you for dinner and the company. I had a nice time.”

“I could thank you for the same.”

We linger at the door. Face to face, inches apart. I can feel the subtle pull between us, our bodies ever so slightly leaning toward each other. My heart is beating fast.
I peek up at him. My gaze fixed on his perfect mouth. I groan to myself. I desperately want to kiss him, run my hand across his cheek, touch him…but I know better. He looks down at me; his dark brown eyes intense as he gazes back at me. Yes, our attraction to each other is powerful and undeniable.

“Good night, Ben,” I whisper, breaking the spell.    

“Good night, Julia.” He takes my hand and sweetly kisses the back of it. Then turns around and walks back to the waiting taxi.

Walking into my building, I close the door behind me, and lean against it as I exhale a long breath.

Whoa.

Chapter 4

I’m sitting on the couch in my favorite flannel pajamas; my legs stretched out in front of me and my feet resting on the coffee table with a stupid smile plastered across my face. Dinner with Ben tonight was surprisingly …wonderful…and that kiss on the back of my hand sent chills reverberating throughout my body. He has very soft lips. I can tell.

I need to wind down and get my mind off of him. Not that I really want to, but I know I have to. I can’t continue to daydream about these things I’ve been thinking about. Most of my daydreams have his shirt off. If I’m honest with myself; my shirt is off too.

I remind myself; I don’t want a man. I shake my head and grab a gossip rag. I’m reading about one of my favorite Hollywood couple’s rumored one thousand dollar a day high colonic rituals when Allie saunters in humming to whatever tune is currently playing in her head.

“Hey Al. How was your night?”

“Fun. You should have joined us. Tim from the tax division was asking about you again.” Her eyes squint with a twinkle of mischief.

“Tim? The guy with the funky teeth?” I cringe.

“Yeah, Tim Bucktooth.” She laughs.

“Allie, you are so bad.” I place my magazine down on my lap and shake my head.

“He calls himself that. Anyway, you missed a good time. You have to come out with us next time.”

“Sure, okay.”

“So, how was your meeting with Khaki Shorts?” she asks, crossing her arms and rocking back on her heels.

“How did you know I had a meeting with him today? I didn’t tell you.”

“I figured it out when you spent half the morning primping yourself up for work. You usually take five minutes. So, am I right? Did you meet with him?” Her eyes are wide. She knows she’s right and she’s teasing me.

And here I thought I was playing it cool.

“Yes.” I look down at my lap, answering reluctantly.

“Is he still an ass?”

I swerve my feet off the coffee table and sit up straight looking back at Allie. “Actually, he apologized for being a jerk and our meeting with Vivian went very well. Turns out he’s a pretty nice guy.”

Oh and Vivian caught us flirting with each other in front of her nose.

“Good looking and nice. Who would have guessed?” She shrugs. “So since you passed up an evening out with Tim Bucktooth, what did you end up making for dinner? The usual corn flakes or did you go exotic and make a bowl of oatmeal?”  

“Umm…tapas.”

“There’s a take out tapas place? I didn’t know that. Where is it?”

“Not exactly,” I squeak.

“What exactly?”

“I went to the Sunshine Deli to pick up a sandwich to bring home. And that Wisteria Hill leech, Jake, was on the prowl. I had already told him that I had dinner plans, but he caught me in my lie when he saw me about to order a sandwich. Ben came in and saved the day, pretending we had plans. It got Jake off my back and Ben and I ended up having dinner together at Emilio’s.”

“Ben?” A frown creases on her forehead.

“Mr. Khaki Shorts.”

“Oh, he has a name. You had dinner with Mr. Khaki Shorts again?”

“Yes, he invited me. We were supposed to talk more about his book.”

“Supposed to?”

“Well, we never talked business; it was mostly talk about our families.”

“So this Ben, you like him?”

“He’s okay.” I fail miserably at hiding my smile.

“I know that smile. You like him.”

“Yes, he’s nice.” I do my best to downplay our night out.

“No, I mean you like him, like him. I can tell.” She nods vigorously with a big grin.

“Like him, like him? What are we twelve years old? He saw me home. That was it. End of story.”

“He took you back here? Did you invite him in?”

“No.”

“Did he kiss you?”

“No. Well, he kissed the back of my hand. It was very sweet.”

“I bet. You know, there’s nothing wrong with liking a guy Jules, especially a guy that good looking. And you said he was nice, that’s a good combination. Are you going to see him again?”

“I don’t know. I suppose at work.” I shrug.

“I meant are you going to
see
him again, you know, another date.”

“First of all, it was not a date. It was two people having dinner together. Secondly, you know I have no interest in dating. I’m not going back down that road. And after speaking with Ben, he made it clear that he feels the same way about dating as I do.”

“You’ve discussed dating?”

“Yes…well not dating each other. In general terms.”

“Julia, unless you intend on joining a convent, may I suggest you rethink your position. That guy is hot. I mean, aren’t you a little curious?”

A little curious? It’s all I’ve thought about since he left.

“I’m not going to deny that I think he’s attractive and I enjoyed talking to him, but I want to focus on my career. I don’t need all the baggage that comes with a relationship to screw it up.”

“Even career women have sex lives. Anyway, who said anything about a relationship? Just go out, have some fun. You don’t have to live like a celibate nun to be a success. There’s nothing wrong with a fling, if that’s what you want.”

 “A fling? That’s just not me.”

“Look, I only want you to be happy. Don’t let that dickweed ex asshole’s bad behavior ruin your future happiness. Not every guy is a prick who’s going to break your heart. Stop being afraid. Someday you need to stop thinking and live in the moment, see where it takes you.”

“I’m not ready. Someday, maybe.”

“Okay. At least there’s hope in
someday
. I’m peeling myself out of these clothes and going to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Good night, Allie.”

“Good night, Sister Julia. I’ll pray you get laid soon.”

I shake my head and laugh. I know Allie’s heart is always in the right place.

~o0o~

It’s been two days since my dinner with Ben. I haven’t heard a peep from him. I don’t know why I thought I would. It’s not like it was a date. I guess a part of me was hoping. Fortunately, work has been keeping me very busy.

I’ve joked with Vivian that she’s become a real task master, pushing manuscript after manuscript my way. She knows I’m kidding. I adore it. I love my work. And it keeps my mind from wandering back to a certain author.

“I think I’m done for the day unless there’s anything else you need,” I say as I poke my head in Vivian’s office.

“Just one thing before you go. Ben Martin is having his head shots done for his book sleeve and promotional items. He’s booked at Marcello Gilbert’s Studio. His appointment is at six o’clock tonight. Marcello squeezed him in as a favor to us. Can you send an email to Marcello? Tell him I want a copy of the proofs emailed to me, along with a copy to the art department.”

Marcello’s studio is in the Village. We’ve developed a close friendship over the past two years and hang out with each other after work when we can. I could always poke my head in and deliver Vivian’s request straight to Marcello. This way I know he gets the message. It’s a Friday night and I have no plans. Allie is staying over at her latest conquest’s apartment for the night. This will give me something to do and I’m helping Vivian.

Oh, who the hell am I kidding? I know exactly why I want to pass by that studio.

“Vivian. Um...Marcello and I had plans after work,” I lie. “I was going straight to his studio anyway. I’ll tell him in person.”

She stops looking at her computer screen, pushes her glasses up over her eyes to the top of her head and leans back in her chair with an amused expression. “Do you now? Well, that’s convenient,” she says with a chuckle. “Very well. Tell Marcello when you see him.”

We exchange a knowing look; I can feel the heat from my face turning it bright red. She knows I’m lying, but she’s letting it slide. I guess our subtle flirting in front of her desk wasn’t so subtle after all.

“Great. Have a good night Vivian. I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Good night, Julia,” she says, steepling her fingers over her lips, hiding her amused smile.

My heart is racing. I’m going to see him again. Once I’m out of Vivian’s view, I make a mad dash out of the office and go straight to the bathroom. My tiny compact mirror will not do. I need a serious mirror. I lean over the bathroom sink and stare at my reflection. I’ve had a pencil holding up my hair in a messy bun most of the day.
Yes, I’m the epitome of class.
That’s fine when it’s just me and Vivian, but this will not work when seeing Ben. I pull the pencil out of my hair and unravel it. It’s wavy and a little wild. I smooth it out with my fingers because I’m an ass who doesn’t carry a brush or a comb. There is no way I’m going to ask to borrow someone else’s…not after the great lice invasion at Public School 12 in the fourth grade.

I rummage through my handbag to see what else I have. Some clear lip gloss. Good. I pucker my lips and apply it. I find old eyeliner hidden in some crumbled up department store receipts I threw in my bag. There’s barely a tip, but enough to make it work. The compact to my blush opened and the remnants of it are all over the bottom of my bag. Shit. Well, it’s cold outside. That’ll pink up my cheeks and probably turn my nose red and runny too.

I smooth out my pencil skirt and tuck my cotton button down blouse, assuring it’s not bunched up and wrinkled, quickly throwing on my coat and head out the bathroom door. I come to a quick halt and walk back to the mirror. I smile the toothiest smile I can possibly muster. Good, no evidence of today’s lunch lodged in my teeth. Now I truly am ready to go.

I’m standing on the subway train, holding on to the steel bar above me, trying to keep myself balanced without falling into one of the dozen other complete strangers doing the same thing. This is crazy. Why am I doing this? The conscious part of me tells me that it’s work and I have to do it, but I know from the pre-Ben primping that it has nothing to do with work. I’m driven by my attraction to a man I have no intention of being with. This is crazy. No, it’s me. I’m crazy.

Once again, I remind myself; I don’t want a man.

I arrive at Marcello’s photography studio. Marietta at the front desk directs me to the room where Marcello is shooting Ben’s photos. I’m a bundle of nerves as my hand touches the doorknob. I inhale a deep breath and quietly open the door.

There he is, looking so relaxed, seated on a low barstool with bright lights and giant reflectors surrounding him. Marcello is busy clicking away.

Our eyes briefly meet and he smiles at me. My knees practically buckle. I smile shyly back and lean up against a wall in the corner of the room, nervously biting my thumb nail, watching them.

There is something about Ben Martin that does things to me like no one else, not even Mikehole.

Marcello looks over toward me and stops clicking, holding up his index finger to Ben, indicating he needs a minute. “Julia, you look beautiful. I like your hair like this, very wild. You look very seductive. Are you finally going to model for me?” Marcello jokes.

I laugh. Marcello has teased me about modeling for him in the nude for the past year. I’d think it was just a sleazy come on to get me into bed if I didn’t know his boyfriend Peter so well.

“Sorry Marcello. Keeping the clothes on. I’m just here to check out the shoot for Ben’s back cover and promo items. Oh, Vivian wants the proofs emailed to her and the art department.”