The Catherine Lim Collection (38 page)

I often wondered why he spent hours in the
out-house lavatory, and one day I took a peep and saw him drooling over a
Chinese comic book, one of a large collection that he had stashed away
somewhere. Needless to say, the comic book was full of obscene pictures.
Uncle’s favourite must have been the one of the large naked lady and the
chamber-pot, because that page was clearly the most thumbed. The quintessential
‘hum-sub’!

And growing up, I found, to my horror, that
this evil tendency was part of my heritage! From the age of 16, I lusted after
females. The sight of bare arms and legs would drive me wild; bare breasts and
buttocks, even if they were only hinted at in pictures or words, made me
insane! I realised, to my alarm, that I was joining the ranks of the despicable
‘hum subs’. I struggled against the tendency. I did not want to be classified
with my grandfather, my granduncle, my father, my uncle, the whole lot of men in
Singapore who have foolishly retained that part of the Chinese cultural
heritage that is least worthy of retention. The hard work, the discipline, the
thrift, the willingness to sweat and toil for the benefit of future generations
– all these, yes – but the tendency of the polygamous instinct – no! I decided
to break away from this tradition. There were two things that helped me. The
first was my English education. It opened up wondrous worlds of knowledge and
power and beauty to me! I read books written in English – books on Science,
History, Literature. I read Shakespeare. Being absorbed in my studies helped me
to keep in check those horrible impulses that I had inherited. The second thing
that helped me was – you! You, Sir, you, the Vice-Consul, the model of moral
propriety, correctness, rectitude! I have been an admirer of yours for as long
as I can remember. I have followed every speech of yours, every public
appearance. I have admired in particular your purity in the best of Confucian
traditions. I know that not the slightest breath of scandal will ever taint
your name ... ”

At this point, the Vice-Consul says, a
little impatiently, “All this is very well, young man, but you still have not
explained your part in this most unfortunate matter concerning my public image.
Are you aware of the harm – probably, irreparable – that you have done to my
reputation? I demand a full explanation. And the photographs here are the proof
of your culpability!”

The young man, his tie askew in his distress
and his hair dishevelled from his fingers continually running through it, looks
at the Vice-Consul with none of the admiration and awe diminished. He says,
“Sir, you will understand, when I have explained everything, that it was not my
fault and that I couldn’t help it! I made it a point to go to every one of the
functions at which you would make a speech, because I wanted to benefit from
your very moral, edifying speeches! I would lap up every word, Sir.

But something happened each time I looked
intently at you, hoping to be influenced by you. It seemed that, as I gazed at
you, the influence was going in the opposite direction – from me to you! What
was going on in my mind became projected into yours. No matter how hard I tried
to prevent the thought, it would, as if it had flown across the whole length of
the auditorium, fuse with yours! And Sir – I am most ashamed to say, all
salacious thoughts had not exactly left my mind, despite the assiduous efforts
at eradicating them. But there was beginning to be an improvement. Instead of
the coarse images that my grandfather and father had so revelled in, mine had
become attenuated by the refining qualities of the English Language, as opposed
to the roughnesses of Chinese dialects. Hence the Calibans of the dialectal
bawdiness of my ancestors had become transformed to the Ariels of the delicate
word-plays of the English Language. This you must grant, Sir, is a big step in
the progress towards refinement and grace. I have to confess, though, that the
libido is by no means subjugated, and every time I see a profile of a lady’s
breasts, I still get worked up! Oh, Sir, anything globular, spherical,
pendulous, occurring in pairs, Sir, and I have to desperately beat down these
insidious impulses!’

“You mean,” says the Vice-Consul, looking
intently at the young man, “that each time you look at me while I am making a
speech, you are able to project your thoughts – nay, the very words for the
expression of those thoughts – into my mind, so that, against my will, I utter
those filthy jokes?”

“Oh, Sir, they are not at all filthy
compared to the Hokkien and Cantonese crudities of our forebears,” pleads the
young man. “They are in fact subtle innuendoes making use of the rich resources
of the English Language. Oh, Sir, I’m not trying to excuse myself,” the young
man adds hurriedly, “Far from it. All I’m saying is that I’m sincerely trying
to improve myself still further. I’m attending some Moral Purification courses
being conducted at the Civil Service Institute, after which all traces of this
very contemptible trait will have been eradicated, Sir!”

“You’d better make sure you do that,” says
the Vice-Consul severely, “and that you will never again be present at any one
of the functions at which I’ll be making speeches. Men like you are a blemish
on the fair face of our nation. Make sure that after these courses at the Civil
Service Institute, your moral rehabilitation is complete!”

“Oh, I’m signing up for the most intensive
of these courses,” says the young man gratefully. “They will free me from the
ancestral curse, and I shall be a happy man at last. I shall continue to have
you as my model, Sir,” he concludes, gazing reverently at the Vice-Consul.

The Vice-Consul and his aides are glad that
the cause of the mysterious happenings has been so neatly disposed of, and the
Vice-Consul can continue to make the speeches that have inspired so many. The
trouble, however, the Vice-Consul and his aides are beginning to notice, is
that the crowds at the Vice-Consul’s functions are decreasing. For some time the
word has gone round that the most interesting functions were those attended by
the Vice-Consul because he could always be depended on to come out with
surprises in his speeches. “His jokes,” it was whispered, “were the wittiest,
the cleverest, the most delightful.” The risque element gave them a special
piquancy that was missing in most Singaporean public speeches which were dull,
predictable and terribly deadpan. So people had flocked to hear the
Vice-Consul; but now they are staying away, because the Vice-Consul’s speeches
are becoming just like any of the others. Those who remain throughout the
speeches doze off or struggle to stay awake.

The Vice-Consul is in a dilemma. He wants
his crowds back. He sends his aides to discreetly inquire if the young man will
agree to discontinue the Moral Purification courses at the Civil Service
Institute and return to ‘assist’ him. But it is too late. The young man, in
accordance with the promise he had made the Vice-Consul, has been fully
rehabilitated, and is now the proud owner of a certificate that testifies to
his complete freedom from those dreadful propensities of his male ancestors
that, unfortunately, still beset many of his fellow Singaporeans so that they
will forever bear the stigma of being ‘hum sub’. Unlike them, this young man is
now in the fortunate position of being able to say, “O Lechery! O Venery! O
Satyriasis! O Hum-subism! Where is thy sting?”

The
following is a summary
of a paper ‘Kiasuism: A Socio-Historico-Cultural
Perspective’ by Professor Arthur A. Bremer presented at the 10
^th
Congress of World Anthropologists in Hamburg. The paper
is published in World Anthropological Studies Vol 6.IV, P 21-36, Dec
1988

1. INTRODUCTION : REASONS FOR UNDERTAKING THE
STUDY

The emergence of a national trait of
character is always a phenomenon worthy of anthropological study. During my
recent stay in Singapore, I was greatly interested in the development of an
attitude among Singaporeans which had become widespread enough to be admitted
by themselves as a national characteristic. This paper will examine the
attitude of ‘kiasuism’ in terms of its manifestations in the everyday lives of
Singaporeans. I will also examine its possible social, historical and cultural
roots.

2. KIASUISM : A DEFINITION

Kiasuism may be defined as an attitude by
which a person undergoes, on the one hand, extreme disquiet if he discovers
that he has not got full value for his expenditure of money, time and effort,
and on the other, a distinct sense of exhilaration if he discovers that he has
got much more than the full value for that expenditure. The ultimate distress
is when he has got nothing for something, and the ultimate joy when he has got
something for nothing.

Like any attitude, kiasuism comprises a
cognitive component by which the person believes in certain things, an
affective component by which he experiences certain emotions, and a conative or
behavioural component by which he acts in a certain way. The person who
possesses this attribute (henceforth referred to as the ‘
kia
-
su
er’)
believes in the Principle of Perfect Balance, that is, any amount of money or
effort expended must be perfectly matched by the returns for it; hence if the
‘kia-suer’ pays $4.95 for a set lunch in which six items have been advertised
and he suddenly remembers after he has left the restaurant, that the sixth
item, say, cucumber pieces in tomato sauce, had not been served, he will return
for it, or insist that a proportionate sum be deducted from the bill. Only
after this is done, will he feel satisfied. If he pays his Filipina maid a
salary of $200 and discovers that the work she is doing is worth less than that
ofother Filipina maids drawing the same salary, he will devise all manner of
ways to redress the imbalance; for instance, he may get his maid to help out at
his mother-in-law’s noodles shop on Sunday.

The redressing of imbalance works only in
one direction: It does not operate in situations where the kia-suer finds that
he is getting more than his money’s worth. For instance, if he discovers that
for the meal for which his $4.95 entitles him to six items, the absent-minded
waitress puts on his table eight items instead of six, or charges him for two
persons when she should charge him for three, he says nothing and lets the
matter rest.

With regard to the affective or emotive
component of kiasuism, the kia-suer suffers a wide range of uncomfortable
feelings when he discovers that he has not got his money’s worth. The feelings
range from mild disappointment with himself for having been foolish and unwary
to acute distress that will go away only when he has redressed the wrong. A
multimillionaire was known to have been apoplectic with rage when he discovered
that he had over-reimbursed his chauffeur by $1.30; a housewife was unable to
sleep the whole night through agonising over the fact that she had paid the
taxi-driver three dollars for a ride that would normally cost $2.10. The same
housewife, only the week before, was rejoicing over the fact that, owing to
some slip-up in the attachment of price-tags to clothes in a large departmental
store, she had got a $90 dress for only $28. She had talked about it endlessly
to her friends who then went to the store but found, to their intense
disappointment, that the price-tags had been correctly attached this time.

The cognitive and emotive components are
expressed through the conative or behavioural component. The kia-suer goes
through a complicated series of actions, such as checking and re-checking the
bill he is presented with, doing complex calculations on his pocket calculator
or his abacus which in many ways is more accurate in the detection of monetary
fraud than the calculator. When he has the proof that he has been cheated or
defrauded or shortchanged, he goes quickly to the relevant persons or
authorities to make known the fact and seek compensation, preparing to argue,
scold, threaten, warn and abuse until he achieves the redress, and hence
restore the Principle of Perfect Balance.

3. KIASUISM : VARIETY OF MANIFESTATIONS

The above definition does not do full justice
to the complex nature of kiasuism: rather than a single identifiable trait, it
may be best described as a continuum, from a basic sense of caution against
cheating and shortchanging and a tendency to ‘play safe’ at all times, at one
end, to a rampant, exploitative tendency at the other. In between, there are
various degrees of kiasuism, but all forms, regardless of their position on the
continuum, show an invariable ferocity of purpose in the protection of
self-interest and a deeply ingrained dislike of losing out to others.

Although kiasuism is most commonly manifested
in money matters, it is also evident in many other areas where money is only
indirectly involved. Indeed, the variety of its manifestations is a reflection
of the complexity of life in a modern, affluent, technologically sophisticated
society like Singapore.

For instance, parents of schoolchildren, in
order not to ‘lose out’ to other parents, in the matter of academic achievement
of offspring, buy expensive educational books containing information additional
to that contained in the regular text-books, and severely warn their offspring
never to lend any of these books to their classmates, in this way justifying
the high cost of the books. A clerk has bought for his daughter the entire set
of Encyclopaedia Britannica and she is still only in kindergarten. The fear of
losing out to others is most evident in the intensity of expression on a
parent’s face as she studies the marks in her child’s report book and then
calls up another parent to surreptitiously elicit from her, through an
apparently friendly chat, the information about her child’s marks, for purposes
of comparison.