The Champion (Racing on the Edge) (37 page)

Jameson came walking up right about then after staring at
the tank of sharks for the last ten minutes, paying no mind to the fact that
his soon to be five-year old son was trying to catch one. “This is retarded.
I’ve always hated the zoo.”

I replied with, “Why, because you belong in one?”

His only answer was to arch his eyebrow at me as his
phone rang for the hundredth time this morning. The entire hour and half drive
to Asheboro was spent with him on the phone talking with Marcus and his dad
about their plans for the rest of the season. I felt bad for him and for the
first time in his career he would finish outside the top ten in points. For a
man like Jameson, that was a hard pill to swallow.

“Let’s go get me a pet.” Axel said with bright eyes
pushing Casten in his stroller.

I ruffled his hair and smiled. “Nice try kid, but no.”

I had to let him down easy but I hated to tell him that I
was not buying a pet. I was lucky that I was able to keep three kids alive as
long as I had. There was no way I could take care of a pet too. I needed to
stand my ground on this one.

Most of the day Arie wanted to watch the lions and
cougars. Jameson did not, for obvious reasons, and took the boys to see more
manly animal who he said were the apes. How they were more manly was beyond me
but I had a feeling it was only because the apes hadn’t tried to eat him yet.

We were walking toward them when Arie looked up at me.
“Mama?” she asked.

“Yes
...
” I knelt down
to her level.

“Daddy mad?”

Arie was very perceptive to Jameson’s mood swings and
sensed his attitude this morning. “No sweetheart. Daddy is just a little
stressed out from the race last night.”

She seemed to consider this for a moment before asking. “He
need ice cream!”

“You know
...
” I
picked her up. “I think that is
exactly
what daddy needs.”

I hated to think our kids ever thought their dad’s
temperamental personality had anything to do with them but it wasn’t something
I could change. Jameson needed to. There were times when his temper got the
best of him but he always guarded it around the kids. That’s not to say he
didn’t freak out at times but usually he reserved himself in their presence.

While the kids ate their ice cream, Jameson was once again
on his cell phone with Jimi. Axel watched him carefully, the concern present in
his features. He worried about Jameson all the time and constantly tried to
make him proud.

Slightly irritated that this day was supposed to be for
Arie and Jameson had spent the majority of the day on the phone, I sent him a
text knowing he’d read it.

Look
at your kids right now. Get off the goddamn phone.

As I expected, when his phone beeped at him—he looked
over at them, staring at him.

Jameson hung his head dejectedly. He knew. “I gotta go
dad. I’ll call you later tonight.” He hung up quickly turning toward Axel and
Arie. “So what’s next on the agenda today?”

Once again, they talked amongst themselves before Arie
nodded and Axel spoke. “Water park—definitely the water park,”

Jameson looked toward me slowly. “Oh great honey
...
the
water park
,” he repeated
sarcastically with an upbeat twist he knew the kids wouldn’t pick up on.
Jameson didn’t like water parks for a number of reasons. The biggest one,
people.

Today wasn’t bad at the zoo but usually anytime we went
anywhere, people followed us. Jameson Riley was a household name around these
parts. Anytime someone mentioned NASCAR, they associated that with Jameson
Riley. All this resulted in Van tagging along everywhere. He kept his distance
though, never letting on we had security around.

“Who thought water parks were a good idea?” Jameson asked
as Casten took a nap on his chest while Axel and Arie wadded around the
sandbar.

“Disney.”

“That’s Disney Land, not water parks.”

“So, I’m sure they had something to do with it.”

Jameson shook his head and glanced down at his vibrating
phone. “I’m not going to answer it.” He assured me.

“I didn’t say anything.”

 I laughed when a small wave from the wave pool
knocked Arie over and Axel helped her up.

“I know, but you were thinking it.”

“I just want you to see how they look at you. Axel hangs
on your every word.”

All three of my spaz children were obsessed with their
father. They looked at Jameson and became completely mesmerized by him. I
couldn’t blame them really. He got me at eleven and kept me ever since.

“I know he does.” He nodded watching them play. “He wants
to race the Dirt Nationals at the end of the month.”

So far, Axel had raced in all the USAC Quarter Midget
races and was running third in their championship point battle. I knew my
little boy was ready but it was still nerve-wracking. He was so tiny and to see
him racing around with other kids scared me sometimes.

“I know
...
do you
think he’s ready?”

Jameson seemed to contemplate this for a moment before
replying with, “Yeah, I do.” He glanced over at me. “Are you nervous?”

“Yes and no. I’ve watched him at home
...
he seems confident enough.” I shrugged
sipping my water. “I worry about the other kids wrecking him.”

“That’s part of racing honey. We can’t control it.”

I knew we couldn’t. Hell, if we could, none of what
happened with Darrin would have happened but it did. Not a day goes by that I
don’t think about what happened in Loudon. It was hard not to.

I look at what I gained in return. Life. I pulled
through. Axel pulled through. Jameson pulled through, not completely, but he
did move on.

Together, we all pulled through. You can’t control
everything. All you could do is go with the flow and hope like hell you caught
a break every now and then.

Preparing for Arie’s party left me a little on edge. I
felt the need to drink at any kid’s party because I couldn’t handle all the
commotion and children in one place. I loved my kids. But when people were over
at our house and sugar was involved. I no longer liked them. So I drank.

Shortly before I had finished the cupcakes, Axel came in
with blood pouring out of his nose.

“Mama, I did somethin’ bad.”

I looked at him and knew exactly what he’d done. “How far
up there is it?”

“A little,” he shrugged and looked at his feet.

“Jameson?”

Axel bolted the other direction afraid to let his dad see
him in such a compromising situation. I mean he very nearly shoved the fucking
thing into his brain. It wasn’t coming out without some help. Help I was in no
condition to provide after my second long island ice tea that I’d been
pretending was regular ice tea.

“What do you mean he stuck a Lego in his nose?” Jameson
asked when I explained.

“That’s exactly what I mean.” I giggled feeling the
alcohol in my system a little more. “He’s four and half, nothing they do makes
sense. Now go, he needs help.”

Jameson groaned and walked toward Axel huddled in the
corner of our kitchen holding his hand to his bloody nose.

“Why did you stick it up there?” I heard Jameson ask him.

Axel didn’t answer, just shrugged as a tear slipped down
his cheek. Poor kid.

As I’ve said, he hung on every single word Jameson said.
I’m not sure what it was but he could do absolutely nothing wrong in Axel’s
eyes. The same went for Jameson—Axel was everything to him. I mean, he loved
all three of our children equally but with Axel, they understood each other.

Jameson went to work retrieving the Lego from his nose. I
had to laugh when Lane, who did this when he was three, and remembers this well
because it had to be surgically removed, patted him on the back and said, “It
happens to the best of us.”

Arie’s third birthday was already turning into a
clusterfuck and we hadn’t even served the cake. I for one couldn’t wait to eat
cake. Emma had whipped it up and frankly, it looked like heaven with frosting
that could give even the healthiest of us a heart attack.

Jameson had to leave tomorrow for Loudon New Hampshire so
me getting drunk and bathing myself in frosting wasn’t exactly a good idea.
Besides, it was my daughter’s birthday.

I put down the long island ice tea and stuck to water
after that.

Arie, who was still going through her terrible twos and
progressing nicely into the horrible threes, was running around telling
everyone she was a princess and her daddy was her prince.

Axel never went through this. The princess phase and the
temper tantrums. Sure he had his moments but Arie, wow, I wasn’t prepared for her.
That’s not to say she was as bad as the Lucifer twins or the Gomez boys but she
was
...
wicked at times and Jameson
refused to admit this. He thought she was perfect. So perfect that for her
third birthday, he had her bedroom in our home in Mooresville transformed into
a Disney fairytale, complete with a carriage for her bed.

“So she’s not spoiled or anything.” Alley piped in when I
showed them the room prior to cutting the cake.

“You’re telling me.” I sighed. “It’s getting out of
hand.”

Jameson really was creating a problem. Anything she ever
asked for, he got for her. So far, we’d kept Arie from seeing it. This wasn’t
very hard because she still insisted to sleeping in Axel’s room with him at
night. He didn’t enjoy this by the way.

“What are you going to do when the boys start to realize
how spoiled she is by him?”

“Axel knows but he could care less, he’s too into racing
to care about that. And Casten,” I looked down at him laughing at Cole who was
punching himself in the face and then falling down laughing. “I don’t think
anything could make him upset.”

It was true. My little one was all smiles, all the time.

Casten was a very active little boy. He would never sit
still for anything but at nearly a year old it was to be expected. Unlike Axel,
Casten was spontaneous and up for anything. You could literally wake him up
from a nap and he was ready to go do whatever you wanted and smiling while
doing so. He smiled in the morning and never stopped until he fell asleep.

Jameson came up to me with wide excited eyes and Arie
latched on to his back in her princess dress she insisted on wearing while Emma
constantly fretted with her crown.

“Is it time to show her?”

He showed way more enthusiasm for this than Arie did.
“Yeah, go ahead.”

“Show me what?” Arie peeked her head up.

“Your birthday present,” Jameson said climbing the stairs
toward her room.

“Maybe she sleep in her room now.” Axel grumbled as we
all climbed the steps.

He knew what we were doing and was more than willing to help,
even at four, to get her out of his room.

It took a lot to surprise Arie. I blamed Jameson and all
his extravagant gestures toward her. So when we opened the door to her new,
ornately magical fairytale room, I was surprised by the squeal of delight she
let out. It made me a tad jealous I never had a room like that.

“Oh wow daddy!” her eyes squinted as they always did when
she was so excited she couldn’t control herself. I recognized the look as Emma
did this a lot. “It so
pretty
.”

She danced around the room from one thing to the next
squealing louder than Emma, who was just as taken by the room. I’m sure she was
already planning a sleepover for her and Lexi. Emma had boys, and when Aiden
put his foot down about them playing with dolls, she turned to her two nieces.

We never saw the girls the rest of the night and for the
first time in months, Arie slept in her own room
...
with
Axel on the floor. He refused to sleep in the carriage.

Jameson and I watched our two little monsters with their
cousins who slept over that night as they all slept.

“It’s hard to believe she’s three already.” Jameson
whispered placing a kiss on my forehead.

“Mmm
...
” I smiled
hugging him tighter. I laughed when Arie sat up in bed and made sure her
princess crown was intact and then laid back down snuggling closer to Lexi.

After a few moments, we made our way down the hall to our
room. Jameson had me pressed against our king sized bed within seconds and was
working on removing my clothes.

“I’ve waited all fucking day to do this to you.”

“Shame on you Mr. Riley, it was our child’s birthday.” I
giggled pulling at his jeans.

He got them past his hips before he smiled wickedly and
looked down at me, naked spread across our bed. “That doesn’t stop me from
wanting
my wife.”

I never grew tired of hearing him say the words, “my
wife.” It sounded territorial in a sense but I didn’t care, I loved it. It made
me feel like I belonged to him and that’s all I’ve ever wanted.

“Now honey, I only have tonight with you before I head to
Loudon. We need some align boring done. These bearing
...
” his strong hand slipped in between us, his fingers dancing
over my ignition switch. “need to be properly aligned.”

It didn’t matter that we only had one night. We made the
best of any amount of time we had with each other, remembering. Before he
positioned himself between my legs, he glanced around the room.

“Where’s that goddamn cat of yours?”

I giggled. “I had his tubes tied. Don’t worry.”

Jameson’s brow furrowed. “Was he a she after all?”

“No, he was a
he
,”

He seemed to contemplate this for a moment. “So how did
he have—”

“Jameson,” my lips silenced his words. “I think my
compression ratio is about to explode.”

His eyes darkened spreading my legs apart with his knees.

“Well then, we wouldn’t want that, would we?”