The Champion (Racing on the Edge) (6 page)

She had made me a father. Winning the championship this
year had nothing on this feeling.

Bell Housing – Sway

“You know kid,” Charlie said holding the baby against his
chest. “Your parents are stupid sometimes but the smartest thing they did was
bring you into this world.”

“Wow dad, thanks
...
I
think.” I adjusted the blanket surrounding me to hide away the funbags.

“Sway, it’s not the destination you choose. It’s the
journey you take to get there.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Fuck if I know. I saw it on a commercial
...
I think. Or maybe it was a billboard?” His
brow furrowed in confusion. “Or maybe it was in a fortune cookie?” Charlie’s
memory was fading these days so I wasn’t surprised he didn’t remember.
“Regardless, it seemed like a responsible bit of wisdom.”

Just then, the baby sneezed and Jameson’s frantic eyes
met mine. “He sneezes, like a tiny human.”

Charlie’s looked over at me, concerned. I felt the need
to explain.

“Apparently Jameson thought we were having a non-human
baby that doesn’t sneeze or blink.”

Charlie’s response, “You two should take a class or
something. Maybe a book would help.”

Alley and Spencer, along with Lane, were the next to come
in along.

Watching Lane with his cousin was adorable. He tried to
be so gentle with him when Spencer just tried to toss him around. This also
caused a brawl between Jameson and Spencer that Aiden had to separate.

I was distracted by the size of my funbags to care about
their stupid brawl. It was like magic, the funbags seemed to have grown in a
matter of hours. “My boobs are huge!” I announced to no one in particular.
“Like really huge
...
is that normal?”

“It’s awesome.” Jameson replied gawking at them as Alley
held the baby.

Alley snorted. “You won’t think it’s awesome soon
...
she’ll kill you if you touch them.”

A few hours later, it was just Jameson and I with the
baby. It was nice to finally be alone with my boys, on Christmas.

I loved thinking of the idea that we had a child
together.

To some people it may just be a baby. But it was more to
me. Just his tiny presence in our world was a big deal for us. We had been
through so much in these last nine months and to finally have him here,
healthy, was such a relief. I also took comfort in the fact that I was no
longer Jameson’s pit lizard. I was his wife, his wizard. And together, under
not so ideal circumstances, we created another life that brought us closer than
ever. We were one person.

There are so many words I would use to describe what
Jameson was to me, most of which wouldn’t do us justice. We had a bond that
never wavered or faltered. Sure we argued relentlessly at times about things as
insignificant as muffins but we had a bond. It was a bond that had been built
on friendship, love, tragedy, loss and so much more. He had become my soul
mate. The other piece of my heart’s puzzle.

I once did a project in college on soul mates, cheesy I
know, but I believe they exist.

There’s a mythology story about Aristophanes in Plato’s
Symposium. It was thought by them that humans consisted of four arms, four
legs, and a single head with two faces. Zeus feared their power together and
separated them, splitting them in half, condemning them to spend the rest of
their lives searching for the other half to complete them which was said to be
their soul mate.

I found my missing pieces that Zeus ripped away. Jameson
completed me in ways I’d never felt before and now he completed me in a way I’d
only dreamed about, he made me a mother—something I didn’t know I was looking
to be.

Jameson sat there quietly holding the baby looking over
the book Dr. Sears gave us on caring for him and I daydreamed about fairytales.

“Jesus Christ, it’s like a gremlin, he comes with
instructions Sway.” He tossed the book aside and focused all his attention back
on our son. “You’re adorable little buddy.” He cooed focusing back on the baby.

Charlie was right. We need to take a class.

“We should decide on a name.” Jameson murmured brushing
his fingertips over our son’s flushed cheeks.

“I know what you want to name him.” I whispered watching
the two of them together. Watching my husband holding our newborn son was
enough to send me into another round of complete emotional hysteria but I held
back.

Jameson laughed and let out a whoosh of air. “Am I that
transparent?”

“No,” I smiled reaching for his hand. “You forgot we
share a brain.”

“You’re okay with it?”

“I think it’s a perfect name for him.”

He maneuvered his way into the bed with me, placing the
baby in my arms.

“Merry Christmas honey,” He whispered before placing a
tender kiss on my forehead and leaning down to kiss the baby.

My heart nearly stopped when he said our son’s name for
the first time.

3.
             
Corner Weights – Sway

Corner Weights –
This is the distribution of a car’s weight among the four wheels. Managing
corner weights is very important to handling. This weight is usually adjusted
through raising and lowering each corner by rotating a threaded spring perch on
each shock absorber or at some other point in the suspension linkage.

“And Merry Christmas to you too
...
Axel Charles Riley,” Jameson placed another kiss on his tiny
forehead.

Axel let out an adorable little whimper and snuggling
closer to me.

The nurses had taken off his oxygen so we finally were
able to cuddle him without tubes in the way and all I wanted to do was snuggle
with my boys on Christmas.

My Boys
.

When I looked back at my life this time last year,
everything about it was different.

I wasn’t lying in the arms of my dirty heathen and I
wasn’t holding our newborn son. Even though it’d only been a year, a lot can
and had changed in that year.

In 365 days, 52 weeks, 8,765 hours, or 525,948 minutes your
life can change completely.

What you once believed in, you don’t anymore. What you
once loved, maybe you don’t anymore. What you never thought was possible had
suddenly became possible in those 365 days, 52 weeks, 8,765 hours, or in those
525,948 minutes of the best and worst year of your life.

“I can’t believe we’re parents now.” I said softly
leaning my head against his chest.

Listening to his steady slow breathing I traced the
planes of his chest, remembering what we had been through to get to right now.
It may have been one of the best years and the worst years of my life mended
together but the reality of it was this, lying in a hospital bed with my dirty
heathen and my flailing adorable spaz.

I was one
proud
Mama Wizard.

Jameson stroked my face. “Me either
...
I’m actually a little worried about it. We
don’t have a clue what we’re doing.” He told me with a wary expression he’d had
a lot these last few days.

The truth was—we didn’t have a clue.

I glanced over at the parenting books on the metal tray
next to me.

“We should read those.” I looked up at him and I almost
burst out laughing at his expression of complete disgust.

He groaned.

“Those books don’t make any sense. Who wrote them
anyway?” his eyebrow arched. “I bet they don’t even have kids.”

“Did you even read them?”

“Well
...
kind of.”
He grinned.  “I’m more of a
hands on
type of guy,” He leaned back
against the bed with his fingers linked behind his head and an amused look on
his face.

“Since you’re so hands on,” I handed him the baby. “I
think he needs a diaper change.”

You could literally see the blood drain from his face.

“I haven’t had to change him yet
...
mom did it earlier and then the nurse.”

“You said you were hands on
...
get
to it.”

He took Axel in his arms gingerly. “Seriously?”

“Yes
...
I can’t get
up.”

Jameson had this look on his face as if I’d just asked
him to commit a murder with me. Slowly he turned on his heel and placed the
baby on the changing table.

I could get up but I was being lazy, not to mention I
felt similar to that Michelin Tire guy, the only difference being my rolls were
fat, his were tires, I think.

I couldn’t believe how everything turned to a jelly like
substance after the baby came out. Why can’t that just come out with the baby?
This was something I’ll never understand I guess. Now I understand why plastic
surgeons are so busy with tummy tucks.

“Where are your diapers little man?” Jameson asked Axel
in the cutest voice I think I’ve ever heard him use.

Axel simply let out a whimper again but didn’t cry as
Jameson began to change his diaper, all the while providing the baby with a
commentary of what he was doing, which I found incredibly enduring.

Watching my husband with our son was probably right up
there with feeling him touch my stomach while I was pregnant. I felt
unbelievably close to him now.

All those years of being his pit lizard, I was so much
more now. I was Mama Wizard.

Jameson, as though he could hear my thoughts, tilted his
head at me with a wink.

I giggled when he held Axel up and the blanket fell off, leaving
him in just his diaper, blinking at Jameson. I almost said,
“Hey look, he
blinks!”
but didn’t.

“What are you doing?”

“Putting clothes on him,”

“It’d help if you actually had clothes—that’s a receiving
blanket.”

Jameson held up the blanket, examining it. “Well no
wonder I couldn’t find the arm holes.”

I giggled again and reached for the parenting books.

Our families stayed away that night and let us enjoy our
baby together, alone. The nurse insisted we shouldn’t sleep with the baby, in
fear we’d squish him.

Did we listen? No, we slept in bed together, all three of
us.

Being a mother is something incredible.

Aside from the physical abuse they put you through in the
beginning then there are the late night cravings. The smells of awful gas that
you thought could never come from you. The bloating, the gaining weight, mood
swings, swelling, tiredness
...
shall I
continue?

And then you have labor that quite literally made me
rethink my gender selection.

What the fuck went wrong there?

Regardless, after that horrendous experience, you are
handed this child. A brand new child. One that’s never had to experience all
the wrong that can happen in the world.

I’ve heard people tell me that the child you have is the
one you were meant to have.

Did the child know that?

Or was it something where when they were assigning
parental units, he got the short stick?

I honestly don’t think he would have chosen me willingly.

All that aside, I was handed a baby and expected not to
ruin it.

I also couldn’t understand why they didn’t come with a
manual. A car, any electronic device, hell, even my toaster comes with a
fucking manual. Why couldn’t a child?

So there you are
...
sweating
like a pro wrestler and staring down at this tiny child who drew the short stick
and hoping he couldn’t sense the fear. And then their eyes open and you see all
those fears slip away.

After all, they are new. There was plenty of time to
brainwash them into thinking you
do
know what you’re doing.

The next morning our families arrived. This was another
scenario where the result was not at all positive.

Five minutes after Alley and Spencer arrived with Lane,
Jameson and Spencer were arguing about a football game on the TV, Alley was
holding Axel and cooing non-stop to the point where it was actually annoying me
and Lane was being the cool little dude he was and making sure I had everything
I needed. That part was enjoyable.

“Do you need ice?” he asked ready to run to get it.

I looked at the full pitcher of ice and smiled at him.
“You know
...
I think I could use a little
more buddy.”

He smiled and off he went to find more.

What was not enjoyable was the fact that I just wanted to
sleep, in my own bed. I had also started breastfeeding and Axel being just like
Jameson in every possible way, wanted to eat non-stop.

Shit went south when Emma showed up with a stuffed cougar
for Axel. Jameson kicked her out, which damn near caused a fistfight between
him and Aiden and then Spencer got involved in. All three of them had to be
escorted out by security.

Tommy, holding a bundle of flowers, stopped by as Jameson
chatted with security.

Leaning forward, he kissed my forehead and snuck a glance
at the baby in Alley’s arms.

“He sure is cute.”

“Thanks.” I smiled up at him adjusting my blankets. Tommy
was not seeing the foodbags.

“Here,” Alley offered. “hold him.”

I laughed a little when he nervously held his arms as
Alley handed Axel to him.

“We definitely know who the father is.” Tommy laughed
looking Axel’s loops of rusty locks.

“Yeah, there’s no denying that color.”

“You know,” he whispered when Alley began talking on her
cell phone. “I’m really happy for the two of you. I was beginning to think I
was going to need to knock some sense into you two.”

I smiled. It was funny to me that everyone around us saw
the changes occurring over the years between Jameson and me, but
we
ignored it.