The Child Left Behind (18 page)

Georges sniggered. ‘As if he’d care about you.’

Bridgette knew that indeed he would care very little, and she gave a little shiver of apprehension. Georges was over twenty now, a very large man, like Legrand, and if he took it into his head to rape her, or hurt her in some other way, what could she do about it? No one would come to her aid but her mother, and if she tried to intervene she would likely be subjected to the same abuse.

‘Come on, be nice to me,’ Georges urged, throwing back the covers as he spoke. ‘You know what I want.’

As he slid into the bed, Bridgette was out the other side of it in seconds. ‘What you doing over there?’ George protested, climbing out after her.

Bridgette was pressed against the wall. There was nowhere else to go, Georges was between her and the door, and even in his drunken state she doubted that she’d get past him. What was she to do? Just wait for him to attack her?

She could feel her heart banging against her ribs almost painfully, and she suddenly thought maybe if she jumped on to the bed, taking Georges by surprise, she could perhaps reach the door. She made a leap and Georges lunged for her clumsily, clouting her head with such force she was knocked on to the bed, where she cracked her head on the bedpost and cried out in pain.

Before she had her wits about her Georges was on top of her. ‘We can do this the hard way or the easy way,’ he said as he straddled her. ‘Makes no odds to me.’

‘Georges, please…!’ Bridgette pleaded, now thoroughly frightened. She began to writhe and struggle to free herself. She stopped, though, when she saw the licentious way he was staring at her, a smile of smug satisfaction on his face.

‘That’s it,’ he said huskily. ‘You know what it is all about.’

‘No I do not,’ Bridgette said. ‘Nor do I want to. Let me go, Georges.’

‘I will,’ Georges said, ‘when I have tasted your wares.’ With that, he took hold of her nightdress by the collar and ripped it all down the front.

Bridgette shrieked as the cold air hit her bare skin, and then Georges was on top of her, his weight near knocking the breath from her body. She felt him fiddling with his buttons and she screamed for all she was worth.

‘Shut up, you stupid bitch,’ he cried and he clamped a hand across her mouth so tightly she felt her teeth rub against her lips.

She was looking straight into his black hate-filled eyes as he breathed stale alcoholic fumes all over her and spat out, ‘I’m going to take you tonight and there is nothing that you can do about it. And I will do the same again any night I feel like it.’

Bridgette knew he was enjoying seeing her so powerless. But then she felt the pressure of one of his fingers with her tongue because she had been in the middle of a scream, her mouth open, when he had clapped his hand over it. She bit down as hard as she could. Georges gave a roar and released her. She just glimpsed his finger dripping blood before his other fist slammed into her face and she pushed him off the bed as she screamed and screamed and screamed.

‘What in God’s name is going on?’

Bridgette’s eyes were mere slits, but she saw her father in the doorway and she could almost see the raging temper he was in. Behind him was her mother,
a shawl wrapped over her nightdress. Gabrielle was angrier than Bridgette had ever seen her.

‘I shouldn’t think you need ask what has happened here tonight,’ she said, crossing to the bed and putting her arm around her weeping daughter. ‘Your despicable son has obviously tried to have his way with Bridgette and when she wouldn’t comply, he has beaten her senseless. Take him away, out of my sight, for I have a great desire to find the heaviest pot in the kitchen and hit him over the head with it. But this isn’t over, so don’t think it is. We will discuss this tomorrow.’

‘It was all Bridgette’s fault,’ Georges said, as his father led him from the room. ‘She asked me in and was all for it, and then she suddenly turned nasty.’

Gabrielle shut the door with a resounding slam and returned to Bridgette. ‘Did he violate you? You know what I mean by that?’

‘Yes, I know, Maman,’ Bridgette answered. ‘He didn’t, but he would have done. That was why I bit him.’

‘Has he ever done anything like this before?’

‘No, but he threatened to do it in the future any time he felt like it.’

‘He won’t ever do anything like this to you again,’ Gabrielle promised.

‘How can you be so sure?’

‘Trust me he won’t,’ Gabrielle said determinedly. ‘Now if the coast is clear, I will get a bowl of water to clean you up.’

The next day Bridgette was far too battered and bruised to go to work and Gabrielle went out early to explain what had happened. Had it been anyone else, she would never have told the truth, but Marie was a very good friend, and Gabrielle wanted her advice on how to keep her daughter safe.

Marie was furious that Georges should have so abused and hurt Bridgette in the way Gabrielle described—so angry that her voices penetrated through to the kitchen, where Xavier was having his breakfast, and he heard every word.

‘D’you mean Robert and Georges refuse to discuss it,’ he heard his mother ask Gabrielle incredulously, ‘just as if it never happened?’

Gabrielle shrugged. ‘More or less. All Robert said was that Georges was drunk and he had made a mistake. He also said that Bridgette had to take some of the blame, for if she hadn’t encouraged Georges and then played hard to get, she wouldn’t have ended up so battered and bruised. But I know Bridgette would not ask Georges into her room if he were the last man on earth.’

‘I know she wouldn’t as well,’ Marie said. ‘She makes her feelings for Georges Legrand abundantly clear and always has. Xavier has little time for him either.’

By now Xavier was seething with temper. He didn’t let on he had heard anything but slipped out of the door and made his way to work. He was determined that he would make Georges Legrand pay, both for what he had done to
Bridgette and for what he had attempted to do. And all he needed was time to decide just how he was going to do that.

Later, when Gabrielle had left, Marie went in search of her son but found he had already gone out. She was glad that he hadn’t heard the exchange, and she had no intention of telling him the real reason Bridgette wasn’t at work that day because she didn’t know how he would react.

Bridgette languished in bed all day, glad to be there because she didn’t want to see Georges or her father, but she was unable to sleep as the time drew near for the men to come home. She felt as if every nerve ending was standing out in her body as she lay wide-eyed, alert to every noise.

She heard them both come in and listened to Georges’s stumbling progress up the stairs, encouraged by his father, and she assumed that he had had more to drink than usual.

The next day Gabrielle told Bridgette that she had to go down to the bakery to help until the boy Legrand had engaged should arrive.

‘Why?’ Bridgette asked. ‘What’s up with Georges?’

‘He was set upon by a crowd of ruffians,’ Gabrielle said, with a smile, ‘and beaten up quite badly. I couldn’t be more pleased, though I have to hide that from his father, of course.’

‘Of course,’ Bridgette said with an answering grin, and despite her aches and bruises went down quite cheerfully to the bakery to help her father.

She insisted on going to work after that, though. Gabrielle did her best with her face and Marie said she would keep her in the back for a few days till it healed a little. Lisette was agog with curiosity, but it was only later that day, as they walked out with Xavier after lunch, that Bridgette was able to tell her friend the real reason why she hadn’t been at work the previous day.

Lisette was appalled. Then they fell to discussing what gang of ruffians had done the world a favour and assaulted Georges Legrand, and suddenly Xavier laughed.

‘There was no gang of ruffians,’ he said. ‘I attacked him.’

‘You did?’ Bridgette said in horror.

‘Yes. For all I hate him with a passion, I hit him with nothing but my fists and have skinned knuckles to prove it. Look.’

Xavier spread his hands and Bridgette looked at the broken and bruised skin. ‘You should have them seen to,’ she said.

‘Oh, no,’ Xavier assured her. ‘They’ll be all right in a day or two.’

‘Good job that Maman didn’t catch sight of them,’ Lisette said with a giggle. ‘Oh, there would have been all sorts of questions then, and she would have got to the bottom of it in the end.’

‘I was in no danger,’ Xavier said. ‘Like most bullies, Georges Legrand was a coward when it came down to it. To tell you the truth I have wanted to punch that man for some time. He is
crafty and a sneak, and has been that way since we were at school together. It’s a wonder no one has done it before. But the final straw for me was when he abused you, Bridgette.’

‘How did you know?’ Bridgette asked. ‘Did your mother tell you?’

‘Not exactly,’ Xavier said, and explained how he had overheard.

‘I knew something was wrong as soon as I saw you,’ Lisette said, ‘and I think what Georges tried to do to you was dreadful.’

‘You don’t think less of me because of what happened, do you?’ Bridgette asked Xavier and Lisette worriedly.

‘Why would we do that?’ Lisette replied.

‘You might feel that I was somehow to blame.’

‘How could you even think that?’ Xavier asked. ‘We have known you since you were a little girl. The whole family knows the kind of girl you are.’

Bridgette gave a sigh of relief. Then she said, ‘You won’t get into trouble for hitting Georges like this, will you?’

‘I doubt it,’ Xavier shrugged.

‘Did he recognise you?’

‘Of course. But if he complains, he also has to admit that it was one man alone that attacked him, and then he will have to say why, which I told him before I laid a hand on him. He’d hardly want that spread around the town, would he?’

‘No, I don’t suppose he would.’

‘But I think I had better tell Maman and Papa anyway.’

‘Why?’

‘Look, Bridgette’, Xavier said. ‘At the moment Georges is frightened and he will leave you alone, but how long d’you think that will last?’

‘He might never touch me again after what you did to him,’ Bridgette answered confidently.

Xavier shook his head. ‘You forget, I know this man. He’ll wait until the furore dies down and then probably, with his wits affected by far too much wine, he will attack you again. You are unprotected in that house and he knows that.’

Bridgette gave a shiver. ‘I suppose I could ask for a bolt to be fitted on my door,’ she said tentatively. ‘What else can I do?’

‘I have been thinking about that. You could always move into our house.’

Bridgette stared at him. ‘Xavier, I can’t just go moving into other people’s houses.’

‘Yes you can,’ Xavier insisted. ‘You could share a bedroom with Lisette. You wouldn’t mind that, would you, Lis?’

Lisette clapped her hands with delight. ‘Mind? I would love it. It would be like having a sister.’

Bridgette shook her head. ‘Papa would never allow it.’

‘I bet your mother will,’ Xavier said. ‘She can threaten to expose Georges if your father plays up.’

‘She would never do that,’ Bridgette said. ‘And my father will know that.’

‘Well, he won’t be so sure of me,’ Xavier said. ‘He wasn’t there when I beat Georges but Georges is sure to have told him. Would he take the risk that I might tell everyone of my beating up Georges Legrand if he makes a fuss about you coming to live with us?’

‘No, I don’t think he would,’ Bridgette said. ‘He would hate to be snubbed or ridiculed, and if people were incensed enough it could affect the business, though I know my mother will be the one who bears the brunt of his ill humour.’

‘Bridgette, your mother would want you to be safe, wouldn’t she?’ Lisette said.

Of course she would—Bridgette knew that—and only if she put some distance between her and Georges would she feel safe. She sighed.

‘All right, tell your mother and see what she says,’ she told Xavier.

Marie and Maurice agreed straightaway, and Gabrielle could see the sense of it too, though she knew she would miss her daughter sorely. When she tried to tell Legrand what was proposed, however, he was flabbergasted and said that he would never allow Bridgette to leave the bakery.

He roared and he bellowed about it, and when Gabrielle tried to change his mind, he lashed out at her. In the end, Xavier and his father went to talk to him and Xavier threatened to tell everyone of Georges’s behaviour if he refused to let Bridgette move into the Laurents’ house.

As Bridgette prophesied, her father didn’t want rumours spread about him, and though he still blustered and grumbled they all knew that was just for show and the battle had been won. Bridgette moved into the Laurents’ without delay.

Marie insisted that Bridgette keep in regular contact with her mother. She knew Gabrielle was tortured by the thought that, to ensure Bridgette’s happiness and safety, they had to live apart. Gabrielle said none of this when her daughter came to visit, but just cherished the time that they had together. The afternoons, while the men slept, were usually quiet at the shop, and Gabrielle would make coffee and put a cake by for each of them, and Bridgette looked forward to these occasions as much as her mother did.

For years Bridgette had liked and admired Lisette and wished Xavier had been her brother, but by the time she had passed her seventeenth birthday, she was very glad he wasn’t, for just the sight of him caused her heart to beat faster, her hands to become clammy and her mouth to feel dry.

Many times she and Lisette had talked of falling in love, like all young girls longed to do, and how they would know when it happened. That was the topic of conversation one late November day in 1933.

‘I mean, it must be a very odd thing,’ Lisette said, lying full stretch on her bed. ‘It’s what most of the songs are about, and poems and many stories, and yet…how does a person know?’

Bridgette shrugged, thinking of her own situation, for Xavier surely saw her just as his sister’s friend. ‘And what if you are madly in love with someone and he doesn’t even know that you exist?’ she asked.

‘Ah, yes,’ said Lisette. ‘Unrequited love. Wouldn’t
that be the most dreadful thing? I hope that doesn’t happen to either of us.’

The phrase ‘unrequited love’ ran round and round in Bridgette’s head all morning and as she sat down opposite Xavier for lunch that day her heart was thumping so hard against her ribs, she felt sure that everyone could hear it.

She suddenly felt very miserable and the meal tasted like sawdust in her mouth. And then she reached for the salt cellar at the same time as Xavier, and as their fingers met, a tingle ran all through Bridgette’s arm and her startled eyes met those of Xavier. She felt her limbs had suddenly turned to jelly and her throbbing heart leaped with joy, and yet not a word had been exchanged between them.

Bridgette was surprised that the wondrous thing between her and Xavier had not been noticed by anyone else and that ordinary life was going on around them.

Someone else had seen the spark between the young couple, and that was Marie. When the meal was over she waved away Bridgette’s offer of assistance to wash up.

‘Why don’t you and Xavier take a walk out?’ she suggested to Bridgette. ‘You don’t get many dry, fine days like this in November. Make the most of it. Lisette will give me a hand.’

Lisette was about to protest, for they had always walked out together, until she saw the wink her mother gave her, and then she followed her gaze and saw Bridgette and Xavier gazing at one another
as if they were the only people on earth. She felt a sudden pang of loss for she knew that soon someone else would be closer to Xavier than she was, but she was ashamed of herself almost at once, for how could she begrudge such happiness to the two people she loved best in all the world?

Outside in that chill November day, Xavier was holding Bridgette close. He could hardly believe that he had her in his arms, the girl he had thought loved him only in a fraternal way, as Lisette did.

Almost in wonderment he told her, ‘I never dreamed…I mean, I never knew that you felt like this.’

‘Loving you like this sort of grew on me,’ Bridgette explained. ‘I didn’t know you felt the same. I thought you saw me as Lisette’s friend.’

‘Oh, I felt much more than that for you,’ Xavier answered. ‘My heart has ached for you for some months now, but I was afraid to speak. You are so young.’

‘Oh, Xavier, I am old enough to know my own heart,’ Bridgette murmured, snuggling closer.

‘Darling, just to hear you whisper my name sends tremors down my spine. I love you from the very core of my being. My heart and soul belong to you.’

‘I love you the same way,’ Bridgette said. ‘Isn’t it wonderful?’

‘It is.’ Xavier swung Bridgette round to face him. ‘But this is better.’

Bridgette watched his face coming towards her and she clasped him tight, and when their lips met she closed her eyes with a groan of desire she barely understood. She knew that Xavier was kissing her in the street in open view of anyone passing, but she didn’t care. It was her very first kiss, and just about the sweetest thing she had ever experienced.

When Xavier released Bridgette eventually she said to him, ‘Shall we go back to the house and tell them?’

Xavier laughed. ‘I don’t think that it will come as any sort of surprise.’

‘Why?’

‘Well, Maman is very aware of it. I saw it in her eyes. Why d’you think she wangled for us to come out alone today?’

‘I did wonder at that,’ Bridgette admitted.

‘Come on,’ said Xavier. ‘Let’s go and tell her that she is right, as usual.’ And they ran hand in hand along the street.

‘I suppose I should go and see Robert Legrand and ask his permission to marry his daughter,’ Xavier said morosely to his mother that same evening. ‘I don’t relish that, I can tell you. I mean, he cannot stop us walking out together because Bridgette lives here, but he can stop our marriage. I may as well tell you, Maman, that while the man never thought much of me, he hates me now because of what I did to his son that time. I guessed that Georges
would have admitted to him what really happened that night. If looks could kill I would have died on the floor of the cathedral many a time already, for the way he looks at me sometimes is positively venomous.’

‘Oh, Xavier!’

Xavier gave a grim laugh. ‘I’m not frightened of the man, Maman. Anyway, for all his talk, he is as cowardly as his son. I’m sure, though, he would take great pleasure in withholding his permission for Bridgette to marry, especially me. But I am twenty-one, old enough to take a wife, and neither of us wishes to wait for four years, until Bridgette is old enough to please herself.’

‘Well, don’t go near Legrand,’ Marie advised. ‘Speak to Gabrielle.’

‘She has no voice or influence in that relationship. You have said that yourself.’

‘She has where Bridgette is concerned.’ Marie said. ‘Legrand is not her father.’

Xavier’s eyes showed his astonishment. ‘Not her father?’

‘No,’ Marie said. ‘Gabrielle told me that Bridgette’s father was an Irishman in the British Army, stationed here in the early part of the Great War, and they fell in love. Well, you know how it is? She felt for that young soldier the same burning love that you have for Bridgette. Gabrielle was young too then and the affair was a clandestine one because she had to sneak out to meet her lover without her father’s knowledge. There was the
added pressure that her soldier could be shipped out at any time.’

‘Are you telling me that Bridgette is illegitimate?’ Xavier asked. ‘It will make no difference if she is.’

‘No, Gabrielle married her soldier,’ Marie said. ‘But, of course, Bridgette was born not that long after the wedding.’

‘And her father?’ Finn said. ‘What happened to him?’

‘He was killed before the baby was born.’

‘Then why did she marry a man like Legrand?’ Xavier asked. ‘It has always puzzled me. He is so much older, for a start, and uglier, apart from being a right nasty piece of work.’

Marie nodded. ‘I agree with you. Gabrielle told me that her father wanted to marry her off quickly, and to anyone who would have her. When Legrand offered marriage Pierre threatened to put Gabrielle and the child out on the streets if she didn’t marry him.’

‘Would he really have done that?’

Marie shrugged. ‘Who knows, but could she take that risk?’

Xavier shook his head. ‘That poor woman has suffered all her life.’

‘Yes,’ Marie said. ‘Gabrielle did confide to me that, had she produced a son, her life might have been easier. But the man is brutal and he beats Gabrielle like he did his previous wife.’

‘I despise men like that,’ Xavier said contemptuously.

‘So do I,’ Marie said. ‘But it does mean that in this case Legrand has no jurisdiction over Bridgette, though she has no idea that he is not her father.’

‘Why doesn’t Gabrielle tell her the truth? Bridgette would probably be glad that she isn’t related to Legrand. I know I would be.’

Marie nodded. ‘All this secrecy is no good for anyone, but Gabrielle told me that it was how Legrand wanted it when she married him, and her father was all for it too. I suppose she just went along with it and is still doing what Legrand wants for an easier life. He never adopted Bridgette—she did tell me that—and so it is Gabrielle that you have to see in this instance. The big fellow might roar and bellow all he likes but he has no legal power over her.’

Xavier gave a brief nod. ‘I will leave work early tomorrow and see Gabrielle in the shop before it closes. She should give her permission before we spread the news abroad.’

Gabrielle was surprised to see Xavier in the shop, but when he told her of his love for her daughter, which Bridgette returned, she thought for a moment that her heart had stopped beating, because those were words she never expected to hear. She knew of Bridgette’s love for him only because she had seen it in her glowing face and sparkling eyes every time she spoke his name.

Gabrielle had prayed that the daughter she loved with all her being would have a much better life
than she had had, and part of that better life was to love and be loved by a young man such as Xavier Laurent. It was no matter to her that Bridgette was young. She herself had loved Finn as deeply as if she had been a woman ten years older. It was what was in the heart that mattered.

She caught Xavier’s hands in hers and told him how happy he had made her. She gladly gave her permission for him to marry her daughter, although secretly she knew that she would suffer for it when Legrand got to hear.

He soon did, of course. The beautiful diamond ring that Xavier bought Bridgette was soon noticed and commented on by customers in the shop, and Bridgette was only too happy to tell anyone who wanted to know about her wonderful Xavier. The news of the engagement flew around the town. That first Sunday after Mass, the priest went out of his way to congratulate the young couple. Then Bridgette was hugged and kissed by men and women alike, and Xavier had his hand pumped up and down many times. She was soon surrounded by girls admiring the ring, and oohing and aahing over the whole romance of it.

Xavier was on the steps talking to the priest, and as the crowd around Bridgette thinned she almost felt her father’s malevolent eyes boring into her. She turned slowly.

He and Georges were side by side, and his smile was disdainful as he said. ‘I believe congratulations are in order, though it would have been nice for
my permission to be asked. That is the normal order of things, or don’t good manners apply here?’

Xavier had been expecting a confrontation of some sort and when he saw Legrand approach Bridgette, he broke off his conversation with the priest and walked quickly down the steps to stand at her side. It was he who answered.

‘There is nothing wrong with my manners, Legrand, and permission to marry Bridgette was asked and given. If you have a problem with that, then it is yours alone, and if you want to discuss it I would be agreeable to meet with you to do that, but this is neither the time nor the place.’

How proud Bridgette was of her young husband-to-be who had spoken to her hated father so assertively. She could see that he didn’t know how to answer. A few passing had stopped to listen, and even the priest paused on the steps. In the end Legrand turned away.

‘Come away now, Xavier,’ Maurice said to his son.

Bridgette said, ‘Oh, please wait, just two minutes?’

She ignored her father and Georges, and went to her mother. Gabrielle had already seen the ring and shed tears of joy over it. She’d said she had never seen such a fine thing in the whole of her life. She had been so happy for her daughter and still was happy, but Bridgette saw the bruising on her mother’s face and her darkened eyes, and knew that she had paid the price, and dearly, for giving her permission for the two young people to marry.

With a sigh she put her arms around her as gently as she could. ‘I’ll be up in the week,’ she whispered into her ear as she held her close.

As she released her Gabrielle squeezed her hands tight before turning away with tears in her eyes.

All the way home, Bridgette burned with rage. She barely waited until she was inside before bursting out, ‘Did any of you see what that maniac did to my mother?’

‘Yes,’ Marie said. ‘There is nothing to be done about it because, as far as your mother is concerned, when a person marries it is for better or worse. She is prepared to put up with the worse as long as she can content herself that you will have the better.’

‘As you will, my darling,’ Xavier said, catching hold of Bridgette and swinging her into his arms. ‘I have never raised my hand to a woman yet, and never would, and I will love you with all my heart until the breath leaves my body.’

‘Well,’ said Maurice with a throaty chuckle, ‘I would say that a man can’t say fairer than that.’

Bridgette knew Maurice was right. She knew how lucky she was and she longed to be married to Xavier so that she could show him just how much she loved him. She wished she could make things right for her mother but knew that she couldn’t, and the only thing she could do was let her share in her happiness.

The wedding was set for 14 April 1934. Bridgette wanted the days to speed by because it seemed
like each day she loved Xavier more, and her longing for him sometimes overwhelmed her. Through the winter they were allocated the parlour to do their courting, and Bridgette appreciated the consideration of Maurice and Marie Laurent in allowing them to use that lovely room. It was cosy cuddled together on the sofa with the fire warming them and the lamps lending everything a rosy hue.

Over time, their kisses grew more ardent and demanding, and when Xavier teased Bridgette’s mouth open for the first time she groaned at the delicious feelings stealing all through her body. Christmas passed and the year turned, and their lovemaking grew more impassioned and sensual. By early February, Bridgette was surprised at the places on her body she was allowing Xavier to touch and explore and caress, and that she was relishing it as much as he was.

In late March, Gabrielle had a talk with Bridgette about what would probably happen on the wedding night. She drew on her experience of the one time she slept with Finn, the night that Bridgette was conceived and she explained the feelings of desire that were almost uncontrollable. She also told her of the gentle and considerate husband who would wait until she was ready.