The Choosing (7 page)

It’s just that this was supposed to be something to celebrate. If it had happened yesterday, he would have rushed to tell Serim and Mahli and they could have started planning for the ritual—which would have raised all sorts of issues, but he would still have been excited. But now… now there is nothing they can do, so he just wants to pretend it never happened.

“J
ERATH
?”

“Hmm….”

Cool fingers stroke across Jerath’s forehead and he bats them away with his hand. Soft laughter washes over him and the fingers are back, on his cheek this time.

“Jerath… wake up.”

Jerath opens one eye and squints up at Serim’s smiling face. She’s dressed and looking far too fresh for someone who spent the night in the forest as a panther. He covers his mouth, pretending to yawn, and mutters out a “Morning.”

“Finally!” Serim grins and gets to her feet. “Get up. I made breakfast.”

She turns and gestures to the fire, where two pieces of fish are roasting on sticks. “Fish again?”

“It’s all we’ve got.” Serim pulls the two sticks away from the flames and hands one to Jerath. “Make the most of it. The rest of the fish will be spoiled by tomorrow and then we’ll have nothing.”

Jerath sheepishly accepts the fish and mumbles his thanks.

They eat in silence. Only when the fish bones have been picked clean does Serim sigh and lean on Jerath’s shoulder. “Do you think they’re all okay? Our mothers, Mahli, and the others?”

Jerath swallows thickly. “I don’t know.” He slips his arm around her and pulls her close. “I hope so….”

“Yeah… me too.”

He places a gentle kiss on her forehead and gives her shoulders a squeeze. “Come on, we need to get moving.” He stands and holds his hand out for her.

“Thank you, Jerath.” Her voice is low and gravelly, and Jerath can tell she’s fighting back tears as she takes his hand.

He’s not far off himself. He misses Mahli and his mother so much and he can’t bear to think they might be in danger. But they need to keep going. They need to go and find help and they both need to be focused if they’re going to make it.

He smiles at her, big and wide, doing his best to reassure her. “It’s going to work out all right, Serim. It’s got to.”

Serim doesn’t say anything. She still has hold of Jerath’s hand and she’s staring at him, openmouthed. To be more precise, she’s staring at his teeth.

Oh.

Jerath quickly claps a hand over his mouth but Serim shakes her head and peels his fingers away.

“Jerath?” She reaches up and runs her fingertips over his new fangs.

They’re still sensitive and he flinches a little.

Serim snatches her fingers back. “Sorry… I forget how it feels for you at first.”

Jerath licks over his gums, his tongue soothing the tender skin around his teeth.

“When did this happen? Why didn’t you tell me?”

She looks confused and a little hurt, and Jerath’s shoulders slump with the weight of his guilt.

“Jerath?” Serim lays her hand on his arm, her touch gentle and her voice reassuring.

He raises his head and meets her eyes. “Last night. I woke up with the pain and you were gone… so I….” He takes a deep breath and Serim rubs his bicep, urging him to continue. “I didn’t tell you, because it doesn’t matter.”

“What? Of course it matters, Jerath.” She grips both his arms tight, and looks at him with wide eyes. “How can you even say that?”

“Look where we are!” He shrugs out of her grasp and waves his arm out in a wide circle. “Miles away from our village. The full moon is tomorrow, and there’s no way we’ll find a village elder to perform the ritual before then. I’ll just have to wait for the next one.” It suddenly dawns on him what else he needs and he flushes and lowers his gaze. “Besides, I still need to find a partner to help me through it.”

He scuffs the ground with his boot and studiously avoids Serim’s eyes.

“Oh, Jerath.” Her voice is soft this time and she gently lifts his chin back up. “We don’t have to wait. Do you not know anything about the Choosing?”

“Yes, of course I do!”

“Then you know that the presiding elder is there only to make the ritual easier to perform. The incantations need to be said while the union is in progress.” Jerath’s cheeks get even redder and Serim grins at his embarrassment. “Both parties involved are usually too busy at that point, so one of the village elders recites the words to complete the ritual.”

“So?” Jerath must still be half asleep because he still doesn’t get it.

“So…” Serim’s lets out a long suffering sigh, but her eyes are full of warmth. “It means that I can perform it. Girls are taught the words as soon as we can speak, so I know them off by heart. We can still do the ritual tomorrow night, Jerath.”

“But, that would mean….” The words stick in Jerath’s throat. Serim is one of his best friends, and although both she and Mahli already willingly offered to help him, he has never actually thought about it in great detail. Until now.

“Yes, it would.” Serim steps into his space again and cups his cheek. Her hands are cool and feel wonderful on his overheated skin. “It’ll be okay, Jerath. You’ll just have to trust me.” She looks determined and not at all unsure or embarrassed, and Jerath relaxes into her touch.

“I do trust you.” He trusts her with his life, so of course he’ll trust her with this too. He just hopes he doesn’t mess it up. “It’s just I’ve never… and I don’t—”

“Jerath.” Serim cuts him off before he can get into a panic. “It’s me, remember? I know all this.” She reaches up on her tiptoes and kisses him softly on the cheek. “We’ll work something out.”

She smiles at him and steps away. “Besides, we still have two days of walking to do before then, so stop worrying and let’s go.”

Jerath nods, relieved to be dropping the subject for now at least. They grab the few things they have and head south again.

T
HEY
walk all day. The sun is warm when it breaks through the trees, but the forest is still too thick in places to let it through. They break for lunch and eat more of the fish. They have to eat it raw this time, since they don’t want to waste time building a fire. Jerath moans that he doesn’t want to eat fish again for at least three months. Serim laughs and informs him that unless they find something else to eat, they’ll be having it for supper as well.

They don’t find anything else and so fish it is. They can’t exactly catch anything, since the only weapon they have is Jerath’s small hunting knife—useful for gutting and skinning, but not for actually catching things. The other alternative would be for Serim to hunt as her panther, but she’d have to leave Jerath’s side for far longer than either of them is comfortable with at the moment. When the fish run out, though, she may have to.

“How far do you think we’ve come?” Jerath asks. They’ve both finished off the last of their fish and are lying beside the small fire Jerath made.

“I’m not sure exactly, but the edge of the forest is about two days’ walk from our village, so we’ll probably reach the plains sometime tomorrow.” Serim shifts onto her side to face him. “I think we should stay in the forest to complete the ritual.”

It’s the first time they’ve talked about it since this morning, and Jerath starts to feel uncomfortable all over again.

“The Goddess of the Forest needs to bless our union and allow your animal form to come through, so I don’t think it would be wise to try and do it out on the plains.” Serim looks thoughtful, not a trace of embarrassment to be seen anywhere. Her easy manner makes Jerath relax a little. If she’s really okay with doing this, then he should be too.

“Yeah, I think you’re right.” Jerath has enough bad luck as it is; he doesn’t want to invite any more. “Can we afford the time, though?” he asks, fidgeting slightly. “Shouldn’t we focus on finding help first?” He wants to find his animal form more than anything, but not at the expense of the others’ lives.

“It will be much safer for us both if you can shift, Jerath.” She reaches out and squeezes his hand. He nods in return and they let the subject drop.

They settle down for the night again, just like before: Serim in her panther form, pressed along the length of Jerath’s body to keep him warm.

This time when Jerath wakes in the morning and runs his tongue along the smooth surface of his fangs, a frisson of excitement flows through him. Tonight is the full moon. He can feel the slight tingling in his blood that happens every month at this time, but tonight will be different. He has waited months and months for this day, and it’s finally here.

Jerath can’t help but wonder what form his animal will take—panther, lynx, tiger, or jaguar? Jerath will be happy with any of them. He just wants that tattoo on his back and to experience the shift for the first time.

“Someone’s happy this morning.” Serim is just pulling on her tunic when Jerath looks up at her.

“Yeah.” He grins, unable to keep it in, and Serim smiles in return. “I’m a little excited about tonight, I guess.” He realizes just how that sounds and tries to backpedal immediately, “I mean about getting my tattoo… not… you know, the other thing.” Serim raises an eyebrow. “No! I didn’t mean I wasn’t excited about that too, I just—”

Serim is openly laughing at him now, and Jerath knows his face must be the reddest it’s ever been and he wishes the ground would open up and swallow him whole. “Oh, Jerath. Fortunately for you, I know just what you mean. Otherwise a girl might be offended by that.”

He smiles up at her and some of his embarrassment fades. It really is a good thing she knows him so well. “Sorry.” He pushes himself off the ground and brushes the bits of dirt and leaves from his clothes.

“It’s fine. I know the union part isn’t ideal for you—and honestly, if you were overly looking forward to that, I might be a bit freaked out myself—and you should be excited about getting your tattoo.” She picks at a stray twig Jerath has missed. “Shifting is… it’s the best feeling in the world, Jerath. You can run faster than ever, smell and hear a hundred things you would never even notice as a human. All your senses are alive and it’s so freeing. I can’t wait to share that with you.”

Jerath looks at Serim with awe. It all sounds so wonderful and far too good to be true. He’s almost certain something will come along to ruin it. Serim must catch the look on his face and she prods him in the belly.

“None of that, either.” He makes an
“
I don’t know what you mean” face at her. “Nothing is going to go wrong, so don’t even go there,” she adds, and pokes him again for good measure.

Serim looks Jerath over from head to toe and frowns.

“What?” he asks.

“Well, not to be rude or anything, but we could both do with a wash before tonight. Our clothes too.”

Jerath looks between him and Serim and sees exactly what she means. Their skin is smeared with dirt in places, Serim’s hair has leaves in it and the odd twig, and he’s sure his doesn’t look much better. Their clothes are rumpled and dirty from being slept in, and a quick sniff reveals that they don’t smell too good either.

“I think the Goddess would be extremely put out if we did the ritual looking like this,” Serim adds.

“Yes, but where can we clean up?” Jerath has never been this far out into the woods before, so he has no idea where the nearest stream or lake is.

Serim grins, obviously privy to information Jerath isn’t. “Well, it just so happens that I might know where to go.”

“How?”

She pats her nose. “When I scouted around earlier—you were still asleep, by the way—I could smell it.”

Jerath ignores her playful dig, but he can’t believe that she can smell water. “Really?”

“Yes, really.” She doesn’t roll her eyes, but Jerath senses it was a close thing. “I told you that our senses are so much more advanced in our shifted form. I can smell the stream, and hear the faint sounds of the water as it rushes over the rocks.”

Jerath is still skeptical but nods anyway. “Okay, then.” He gestures for Serim to walk in front of him. “Lead the way.”

“We have to veer off our path slightly to get to the stream,” she says, and Jerath notices that they’re now heading in a southwesterly direction. “But it can’t be helped.”

Jerath hums his agreement and they fall into a comfortable silence once again, both of them careful to avoid any conversation about their families or friends. It’s too painful to think about what might be happening when they have no possible way of finding out yet.

“H
OW
much farther?” They’ve been walking steadily uphill for the last hour and Jerath’s legs are starting to ache. It must be almost lunchtime too because his stomach is making some very angry noises. They ate the last of the fish this morning, which Jerath is sort of thankful for even if it means they have no more food. It was an effort to force it down, and he knows his body would protest if he had to eat any more fish today. Of course he’ll probably think differently when they’re starving.

“Just a little farther, come on.” Serim grabs for his hand and gives it a tug.