The Christmas Baby (7 page)

D
URING THE WEEK
leading up to Thanksgiving, Brian kept busy with a new client, putting in a new system for a small firm in Corpus Christi. The actual work was enjoyable, but the paperwork it generated wasn’t. He might have to hire an assistant before long to keep up with it. Still, for now it was a good thing because it gave him less time to think about Faith. She hadn’t gone on another date since the one with Dr. Smooth, which pleased him more than he wanted to admit.

He hadn’t gone on another date, either. He rationalized it, telling himself he hadn’t had time and it was easier to come home and play with the babies and eat dinner with Faith than to go through the trouble of a date. Besides, Will needed his father to be at home with him in the evenings.

Mark hadn’t been the only one who’d told him he needed to spend time with his son. Gail and Cat had given him a bundle of books on child development and child care, and every damn one of them stressed how important it was for a father to be involved in his child’s upbringing. And since the last thing Brian wanted was to be anything like his own father, he tried his best to do the right thing for the kid.

Thanksgiving morning he went to get Will dressed for the day at Ava’s house. He put him in a pair of denim overalls that snapped at the crotch and a long-sleeve shirt. The kid had outgrown nearly everything his mother had bought him but these overalls had been a larger size. Brian wondered if he could get Faith to pick up some more clothes for Will. That was part of a nanny’s job, wasn’t it? Besides, what woman didn’t like to shop?

“Da-da,” Will said.

“That’s right. Dada. I’m your dad.” Will babbled all the time and said “Dada” occasionally, but Brian didn’t believe he had any idea what it meant. Faith said if he didn’t he would soon, but Brian wasn’t too sure of that. The kid must still miss his mom, though he did seem happier since Faith had come to take care of him. His face lit up whenever he saw her.

After Will was dressed, Brian took him into the den and put him by the coffee table. Will could pull himself to a standing position and walk around holding on to things now. Cruising, the books called it. Brian had a feeling when the kid started walking, he and Faith would have a hard time keeping up. Will got into enough trouble already just crawling.

Faith came in carrying Lily and an enormous diaper bag. “Did you remember a change of clothes for Will?”

“They’re in his diaper bag.” Along with half the contents of his room. “He needs new clothes. I think he’s only got two pairs of pants that fit.”

“I know. Lily needs some, too. I planned on shopping tomorrow. If you’re working, Gail offered to keep both the children while I shop. The sale prices make it worth braving the crowds but there’s no way I’d take the babies out in that.”

Brian shuddered. He couldn’t imagine anything worse than shopping on the day after Thanksgiving.

Faith set Lily down on a blanket and started folding up one of the playpens. “Ava said to bring both the playpens so we can put the babies down for a nap if they want a rest. She’s set aside a couple of bedrooms for them to sleep in.”

“Do you really think they’ll sleep there? With—” he tried to count and gave up, “however many babies are going to be there?”

“Five, including Will and Lily. They’re more likely to sleep if we bring them something to sleep in.”

Just more crap to haul around, he thought, but he folded up the other playpen and stowed them both in Faith’s car. He still hadn’t gotten around to buying another vehicle. Maybe he could do it over the long weekend.

“H
OW MANY PEOPLE
are supposed to be here today?” he asked Faith as they went up the walk. He knew she’d been talking to Ava, so he figured she’d have an idea. “There sure are a lot of cars.”

“Ava said thirty or more, including all the kids. They’ve invited some other people besides family, but I’m not sure who.”

If someone had told him even six months ago that he’d be spending Thanksgiving with all these people in a scene of unparalleled domesticity, he’d have run screaming in the opposite direction. Come to think of it, he still might.

Certain no one would hear a doorbell, he opened the door and they stepped into the madhouse. People were everywhere, children were running around screaming and laughing, and one of the dogs came running up to him and planted its paws on his chest. Princess was Ava’s overexuberant Lab mix. He petted her, discouraged her from licking Will in the face and made his way into the living room with Faith and Lily by his side.

His mother and her husband, Walt, were the first to greet them. Brian and Walt shook hands and then his mother enveloped him in a hug. “I’m so glad to see you, Brian. And my latest grandchild.”

She held out her arms and Brian put Will into them. “Will, meet your grammy.”

Walt and his mother had been out of the country for several months and had only recently returned to the States. While Brian had told Lillian about his sudden fatherhood, she’d yet to meet her grandson.

“He’s adorable, Brian. He looks just like you did at that age.” She beamed at him fondly before turning to Faith. “And you must be Faith. What a beautiful baby. And her name is Lily? I’m Brian’s mother, as I’m sure you’ve guessed. Lillian Monroe.”

“Thank you. It’s nice to meet you.”

Faith seemed a little overwhelmed, looking around at all the people and activity. His mother must have noticed, too. “Would you like to bring Lily into the playroom? Roxy and Mel are in charge of that.” She looked at Brian. “Is it all right if I take Will in there?”

“Sure. Have you seen Cullen yet?” he asked, knowing she’d been out of town since before Mark’s youngest was born, as well.

“Not only seen him but changed him. I’m telling you, it’s a grandmother’s dream here today.”

And what he once would have termed a single man’s nightmare. Somehow it didn’t seem so bad now. As Faith went off with his mother and the kids, he went to find Ava.

He found her in the kitchen with a number of people, including Mark’s wife Cat, who was stirring something on the stove. Since Cat was a gourmet cook, she was always in charge of that aspect of the get-togethers. Brian shook hands with her brother, Gabe Randolph, and his wife, Lana, and greeted Cole, Ava’s stepson, who was headed outside with a football.

“Hey, Brian, do you want to play? We’re getting a game up.”

“I’ll check in later. Thanks.”

“It will be a while before dinner’s ready,” Ava said. “Get yourself something to drink,” she told Brian, “and come talk to me. Where is that precious baby of yours?”

“Mom’s got him. She said something about Roxy and Mel setting up a playroom.”

“Bless them,” Cat said as Brian pulled a beer from the refrigerator. “Roxy’s having the time of her life with all the babies. And there are soon to be more, isn’t that right, Gabe?”

Gabe put his arm around his wife and hugged her. “Absolutely. In about six months.”

“That’s wonderful. Congratulations,” Ava said, and hugged Lana and Gabe.

“Ava, can you keep an eye on this?” Cat asked, motioning to the stove. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

“They should call it Baby City, not Aransas City,” Brian said to Ava when the Randolphs had left the room and they were sitting at the kitchen table. “I’ve never seen so many babies in my life.”

“That’s not saying much, since before Will, you ran from every child under the age of ten.”

“True.” He grinned and took a sip of his beer. “That sure changes when you become a parent.”

“Jack and I are hoping we’ll find out what that’s like for ourselves soon.”

He stared at his sister. She’d told Mark she couldn’t have children. Which could only mean…“You and Jack are adopting a baby? No kidding?”

She nodded, that blissful expression that women get when they talk of babies settling on her face. “We finished the paperwork last week. Now we just have to wait until they call us.”

“That’s great, Ava.”

“There was a time I thought I’d never be a parent. But Jack changed my life. And even though Cole’s a teenager, I’ve had him to practice on,” she said and laughed.

“It seems to me that babies are a lot different from teenagers.”

“I’m sure you’re right.” Ava peered at him closely. “So how are you doing with Will? The truth, not just the line you feed everyone.”

“Better. Since Faith’s been with us, he’s stopped crying constantly. And sometimes I think he’s actually starting to like me.” He was a good kid. He’d taken to sitting in Brian’s lap and snuggling against him while Brian read the paper. He seemed even happier when Brian read stories to him, which he’d been trying to do every night.

“I’m sure he loves you, Brian,” Ava said and patted his hand.

Brian wasn’t, but he kept his mouth shut.

“I’m so glad it’s working out for you and Faith,” Ava continued. “I don’t know her very well but she seems so sweet. And Gail says it’s obvious she’s crazy about Will.”

“She is sweet,” he said. Very sweet. Pretty. Sexy.
Damn it, he had to get rid of these thoughts.

“What’s with the funny look? You’re not thinking about—” She broke off as Faith came into the kitchen and the moment was lost.

Good. He didn’t need a lecture about how he should keep his hands off his son’s nanny. Like he didn’t know that.

Later, he wound up squeezed onto the sofa beside Maggie Barnes while they ate dinner. Maggie was with the Aransas City police department, though she wasn’t on duty today. “How’s your little boy doing?” she asked. “He sure was screaming when I pulled you over.”

“He spent about the first week with me crying all the time but he’s calmed down now. He’s doing all right.” He looked around and spied his mother with Will on her hip talking to Mark, Cat and the baby. “I don’t think my mom’s let go of him since we got here.”

“I can’t blame her. He’s a cutie.”

“Is that why you only gave me a warning?” he asked, falling into an easy flirtation. Maggie was a very attractive redhead. She might be just the person to take his mind off of a certain blonde. He turned his head and saw Faith seated some distance away. She had Lily in her lap and a guy someone had mentioned was a single friend of Jack’s seated beside her, trying to ply her with food and drink.

“Could be,” Maggie said, smiling. “Or I might have just been in a good mood that day.”

He and Maggie continued to talk. Brian tried to ignore Faith and her newfound friend, but without much success. Now the guy was holding Lily so Faith could eat. Didn’t the joker know not to hold the baby like that? What if she fell off his lap? Why would Faith let some strange guy hold Lily?

Disgusted, he focused on the woman beside him. “Are you off duty tomorrow night? Or Saturday night?”

“Why?”

“Have dinner with me. You pick the night, whenever you’re off.”

A smile played around her mouth. “I like you, Brian. You’re a nice guy.”

“I sense a
but
coming on.”

“I’m a cop. Which means I notice things. And one of the things I noticed while you’ve been sitting here flirting with me is the pretty blonde with the baby over there who keeps staring at you when she thinks you’re not looking at her. And I also noticed that you, my friend,” she tapped him on the knee, “keep staring at her when you think she’s not looking at you.”

Brian started to deny it but Maggie laughed and shook her head. “I make it a policy not to date a man who’s hung up on another woman. So, no, I’ll have to take a pass.”

“The pretty blonde is my son’s nanny. I’m not interested in her. Not like that.”

“Just keep trying to convince yourself of that. The eyes don’t lie.” She got up and smiled at him. “Cheer up, Brian. Like I said, she’s been checking you out, too.”

He looked at Faith across the room and her eyes met his. She flushed and turned away, back to the man she’d been talking to for the past half hour. Maybe Maggie was right. Was Faith interested in him? And if she was, what was he going to do about it?

F
AITH WOKE WITH A START
, her heart pounding. She sat still for a moment wondering what had awakened her and then she heard it again. A baby crying.

“Mama, Mama,” Will shrieked.

She grabbed her robe and threw it on before rushing to Will’s room. Brian was there already, had taken Will out of his crib and was cuddling the sobbing child against his bare chest.

“You’re okay,” she heard Brian say as Will turned his wet cheek into the curve of his father’s neck. “Don’t worry. Daddy’s here,” he murmured. Will quieted, drawing in a deep shaky breath as Faith reached their side.

It was the first time she’d heard Brian refer to himself as Daddy and it touched her. She put a soothing hand on the baby’s back and patted him. “Poor little guy. Do you think it was too much excitement today?”

“No. I think he still misses his mother.” Will hiccuped and nestled closer to his father. Brian’s eyes met hers in the dimly lit room. “And I know exactly how he feels.”

She started to ask him what he meant but then heard Lily fussing. “Let me see to her. I’ll just be a minute.”

Lily had fallen back asleep by the time she reached her room. Faith caressed her head, tempted to pick her up, but she knew she’d wake her if she did. Love flooded her as she gazed at her baby. The perfect rosebud mouth, her chubby hand resting by her cheek. It no longer bothered her that Lily’s father had left. He’d given her a precious gift in her baby girl and Lily was the only thing that mattered now.

She returned to Will’s room and saw Brian putting him in his crib. “No more bad dreams, Will,” he murmured, stroking the baby’s head as she had Lily’s only moments before.

It was as sweet a scene as she’d ever seen. As endearing as watching Brian comfort his son earlier. “You’re getting to be a pro.”

He looked at her and smiled. “Hardly. I have a long way to go.”

She shook her head. “No, you don’t. You’re good with him. He loves you.”

“Do you really think so?”

He sounded so uncertain, it broke her heart. “I know he does. And you love him.”

He was quiet for a long moment, his hands on the crib rail as he watched his son sleep. “I wasn’t sure I could. At first I didn’t know what I felt for him. I was afraid I might be like my father. That bastard never loved anyone in his life. Least of all his children.”

The words were spoken softly but that only made them more chilling. “You sound very sure of that.”

“Believe me, I am. He left when I was six. I prayed every night for a year that he’d never come back. Thank God he didn’t.”

“Did he—” she hesitated but then decided she’d ask him. “Did he abuse you? Is that why you wanted him gone?”

Brian shrugged. “Not physically. Not me. But Ava…he beat her so badly she ran away and we didn’t see her for more than twenty years. We thought she was dead. That’s on his head.”

“I’m so sorry. That must have been awful for all of you.” She’d heard bits and pieces of the story and knew that Ava had only recently reunited with her siblings. But she hadn’t imagined anything so horrifying.

“Yeah, especially for Ava,” he said grimly. “After she left, he didn’t physically abuse the rest of us. No one knows why. But he had other ways of making us miserable. He was a mean, selfish son of a bitch who liked to play mind games with us.”

“I’m sorry you had to go through that. No child should have to live with abuse. Of any kind.”

“At least I only had to live with him for six years. Mark and Ava weren’t that lucky.”

She thought it spoke volumes that he felt fortunate to have lost his father at such a young age. She didn’t know what to say so she simply waited for him to continue.

“It’s funny. When my mother left us, I prayed every night she would come back. It had worked with my father, so I thought for sure praying would work with her. But she never came back. I finally decided that God must answer only one prayer and since He’d kept my father away, I was out of luck with my mother.”

“I didn’t realize…Your mother was at Thanksgiving with your family today.”

He glanced at her before returning his gaze to his sleeping son. “We reconciled several years ago. But when I was eleven and Jay was twelve, she left us with Mark. She just dumped us on him and never came back. Mark was twenty-one and fresh out of college. But he never complained about having us, not to Jay nor to me. He worked his butt off to support us.”

That nice woman she’d met earlier that day had abandoned her children? Had given them to their barely adult brother to raise? How in the world could she have done that? And how had they all forgiven her?

Brian looked at her. Her horror must have been written on her face because he said, “No, she’s not a monster. She was sick. Clinically depressed. She went into a hospital, so she left us for Mark to raise. But she didn’t tell us that. We all thought she just didn’t want us anymore. She was hospitalized for two years. After she got out, she thought we were better off without her, because she didn’t believe we could forgive her for abandoning us. When she remarried, her second husband talked her into trying to reconcile with us.”

“Oh, Brian, how terribly sad.”

He didn’t look at her, continued to talk. “I was eleven. I thought I was tough until that happened. But I cried every night for months. I missed her so much. I hadn’t known I could miss anyone like that. Jay knew but he didn’t say anything. I guess he had his own fears to deal with. And his own tears.”

“You were a little boy who’d lost his mother. Of course you weren’t tough.”

He shook his head and said softly, “When I first got Will he cried all the time for his mama. Like tonight, only worse. Nothing I did helped. And whenever he cried like that, those heartbroken, desolate sobs, I remembered crying for my mom.” His hands tightened on the rails. “I felt like I was eleven all over again. Abandoned. Alone. Afraid.”

She didn’t know what to say so she simply put her hand over his and squeezed. She couldn’t speak anyway, around the lump in her throat.

“It’s been twenty years since that happened. I thought I’d dealt with it years ago. But hearing Will cry for his mother, it gets to me.”

“Of course it does. It tears at anyone’s heart to hear a baby cry for his mother.”

“It’s worse for Will than it was for me. His mom is dead. He’ll never have the chance to reconcile with her. At least I had that.”

But Will wouldn’t remember his mother. Brian had lived with the memories and the loss for longer than Will would ever have to. “Will is lucky to have you.” She wanted to take Brian in her arms and comfort him but she couldn’t. That would be a huge mistake, just as allowing herself to feel too close to him now would be a mistake.

He half smiled at her. “Sorry to get so sentimental. That’s not really my style.”

“I know.” He’d shared something very private with her and she guessed he didn’t often do that with a woman. Possibly never. “Do you think that’s why you don’t trust women? Because of your mother?”

“I trust women.”

“You trust them to leave you. You told me yourself you’ve never had a serious relationship and you’re thirty-two years old. Most people have had at least one serious relationship by that point in their life.”

“I said I’d never lived with a woman or been married. I never said anything about not having relationships.”

“But it’s true, isn’t it?”

He looked down at their hands, resting together on the crib railing. Realizing her hand still covered his, she hastily snatched it away. His lips curved into a smile.

“Yeah, it’s true. To date, my longest relationship has lasted two months.”

“Don’t you ever want more? Haven’t you ever thought that you’re missing out on something?” she asked.

“Before I had Will I can honestly say it never crossed my mind. But now that I’m a father…I don’t know. I just don’t know.” He turned toward her. “Pretty deep conversation for the middle of the night.”

He was wearing sweat pants and nothing more, a fact she’d been aware of since she’d walked in the room. She’d seen Brian without his shirt before. For brief periods, which she carefully tried to never think about. But, oh, Lord, the man had some chest and it was right there in front of her, close enough to touch. A broad chest with abs that looked hard as a rock. She wanted to run her hands over those beautiful muscles, feel them ripple.
You idiot,
she told herself. She could fall for him in a heartbeat and he’d break her heart just like Peter Bruce had done.

Peter, who she’d never talked about. Not with anyone. But she wanted to with Brian. She didn’t know why, only that she wanted to share something that mattered with him, as he had with her.

“You can say things in the middle of the night that you wouldn’t at other times.”

He nodded. “Barriers are down. It’s dark, it’s quiet.” After a few seconds of silence, Faith began.

“Peter, Lily’s father, had told me he wanted to marry me. But it was a lie. When I found out I was pregnant, he said the baby—if there was one—wasn’t his. He accused me of sleeping with other men. Instead of being angry, I crumpled. I was devastated. And you know what the worst of it was?”

“No. But being left high and dry when you’re pregnant has to be right up there.”

“That was bad. But the worst thing was my response. I hate that hurt, not anger, was my first reaction to the way Peter had treated me. My only reaction that he saw.”

“Did you love him?”

“Yes. And I believed he loved me. Until I told him I was pregnant. Then it was painfully obvious he didn’t and never had.”

“He was a fool. You would never cheat on a man you loved.”

“You can’t know that.”

“Sure I can. I know your character. You’re so honest you’d get in the car and drive back to the store if you got home and found they’d given you too much change. A woman like you wouldn’t cheat.”

“No, I wouldn’t. And I know Peter didn’t really believe I had. He just said it so he didn’t have to take responsibility. To justify leaving me.”

“Do you still love him?”

“No. But I don’t regret it, either. Not any of it. I have Lily and she’s worth everything I went through and more.”

He reached out and touched her hair, as he had one other time. He stood close to her, so close she could feel the warmth radiating from his body. If she stretched out her arm, she could run her hand over all those lovely muscles.

His hand slipped beneath her hair to the back of her neck.

She felt as if she were in quicksand and sinking fast. Unable to move, she gazed at him.

“So sweet,” he said as he rubbed his thumb over her mouth, very gently. Very slowly. “God, you’re sweet.”

She couldn’t speak. She just looked at him and willed him to kiss her. It would be a mistake. A huge mistake and yet she thought she’d die if he didn’t kiss her.

She leaned toward him. Closer still. He cupped her face in his hands and lowered his head, stopping when their lips were only inches apart to stare into her eyes.
Kiss me,
her mind whispered.

But instead, he dropped his hands and turned and walked out of the room without a backward glance.

Faith sucked in a breath. He’d wanted to kiss her. She’d seen it in his eyes, felt it in his touch. She hadn’t mistaken his intention. And she couldn’t have appeared more receptive if she’d had Kiss Me stamped on her forehead.

She should be glad he’d had the sense to leave. To walk away from the temptation. He’d saved them both from making a massive mistake. But she wasn’t glad. Not even one little bit.

B
RIAN LEANED HIS BACK
against his bedroom door and rubbed his hands over his face. God, he’d been so close to kissing Faith. Even now, he could almost taste her. He knew without a doubt she’d taste every bit as sweet as she was. He should have done it. Taken that beautiful mouth and kissed her like he’d been wanting to for weeks. One kiss wouldn’t have hurt anyone.

Except he wouldn’t have stopped with a kiss and he knew it. He didn’t just want to kiss Faith, he wanted to make love with her. Long, slow, sweet love. Or fast and wild and crazy love. Or both.

It’s just hormones, he thought. And no wonder. He’d been living with the woman and celibate for weeks now. It didn’t help that she smelled so good, that soft, yet sexy scent that was uniquely hers. And it sure as hell didn’t help that she’d grown so pretty. He’d seen her in the mornings, without makeup and wearing an old pair of sweats and he’d still thought she looked good.

He didn’t want to hurt Faith. Her baby’s father had already hurt her enough for one lifetime. And Brian knew that once he made love to her it would be the beginning of the end for them. He wasn’t a forever kind of guy and Faith…she was definitely a forever kind of woman.

Will needed her. Brian needed her. But as his son’s nanny, not as a lover.

He needed to date other women. Hell, he needed to get laid. Once he did he’d stop thinking about Faith and obsessing about how much he wanted to kiss her. How much he wanted to make love to her.

Wouldn’t he?