The Circle Eight: Tobias (20 page)

“I hope he feels better soon.” Tobias sat down and tried to keep the blood from dripping on the clean floor.
 

By the time Rebecca appeared, leading an older man out with a smile, his handkerchief was soaked and so was his pant leg. She wore a pretty blue dress with a white collar that accentuated her curves. Her hair was in the same braid again, this time it was tight and tamed. Damn sure wanted to unwrap that thick hair and spread it on a pillow. His body tightened and he had to stop himself from checking to see just how tight his trousers had become. She spied Tobias, stopped and her mouth opened. The woman waiting shook her head.
 

“We’re next, Doc. I’ve been waiting near twenty minutes.”
 

“Of course.” She escorted the older man to the door and shut it behind him. When she turned back to the room, her smile was forced. “Mrs. Johnson, why don’t you take Timmy into the exam room and I’ll be right there.”
 

The woman got to her feet and sniffed in Tobias’s general direction. He didn’t know the woman, but aside from being a bit of a snob, she held her son as though he were the most precious thing in the world. He envied that little boy.
 

“What happened, Tobias?” Rebecca stood over him, her hands on his hips. “You plan on fainting from loss of blood?”
 

“Cut my hand with a pry bar taking off a hinge. I ain’t lightheaded or nothing. You take care of the boy. I can wait my turn.” He could wait forever if it meant Rebecca would touch him. He dreamed of her soft hands on him again. His body reacted to her nearness, even if he had to bleed to get her attention.
 

Pitiful.
 

She nodded and left him alone in the room while she went to doctor Timmy Johnson. He looked out the window and watched the horses, wagons and people pass by. His hand throbbed but he was peaceful in the clinic waiting room, knowing she was nearby. Anticipation would make the time he had with her that much sweeter.
 

She appeared within a few minutes, a towel in her hand. “I don’t want you to stain the floors.” She said it with a grin.
 

He accepted the towel with a smile. “Thank you, Becca.”
 

“You’re welcome…Toby,” she tossed over her shoulder as she disappeared once more down the hallway to the exam room. He couldn’t have been more surprised if she’d pinched his ass. Rebecca had teased him.
 

He had a chance. Damn, but he had a chance.
 

A white-haired man walked down the stairs with a cane clutched in his hand. He sported a well-worn gray sweater and black trousers. The shirt had a few suspicious stains on it. His bushy white eyebrows rose at the bloody mess Tobias presented.
 

“You here to see Miss Graham?” The man shuffled forward, the cane thumping on the floor.
 

“Yes, sir.” Tobias assumed this was the doctor Rebecca was taking over for. The man looked to be a century old, if not older. He shook from head to toe but his eyes were sharp. The man might be physically old but he didn’t appear to have lost his mental faculties.
 

“She’s a good doctor.” He sat down with more pops and creaks than the rusty hinges. “Smart as a whip too.”
 

“Yes, sir.” Tobias didn’t know anyone smarter than her.
 

“How did you hurt your hand?” The doctor seemed to want to chat.
 

“Pry bar slipped.”
 

“Ah, that happens. You the new livery owner then?” The doctor peered at him with those sharp brown eyes.
 

“Yes, sir. My brother and I moved in about two weeks ago.”
 

“And Mr. Waldeck?”
 

“He’s living in the shed on the property. Helps out when he feels like it.” Tobias didn’t mention the old man preferred napping, watching women and playing checkers as his daily chores.
 

“Good. I thought the new owner needed to keep him on. It’s important us old guard stay around to help the young people taking things over.” Doctor Radicy gestured to Tobias’s hand. “Would you like me to take a look at that?”
 

Tobias didn’t want to insult the man but the answer was definitely no. “I reckon I’ll wait for Miss Graham.”
 

The doctor chuckled. “I expected that would be your answer. Let me know if you change your mind. I’m gonna go track down a book.”
 

The older man left Tobias alone, disappearing down the hallway to wherever the books were held. Tobias waited, enduring the pain because he knew in the end, he would see the woman he loved.
 

It was another opportunity for him to find patience, the elusive skill he hadn’t yet gotten a full hold of. He would, if it killed him, he would damn well conquer patience.
 

Timmy and his unfriendly mother finally left after fifteen minutes. Tobias waited with a smile on his face. Rebecca appeared with a journal in her hands and a frown on her face.
 

“Come on into the examination room, Tobias.” She didn’t return his smile nor did she appear happy to see him. Far from it.
 

He got to his feet, swayed at the buzzing in his head and then blinked. Damn, he was lightheaded. She peered at him and her frown deepened.
 

“I’m fine. Reckon I sat there for too long.” He promised himself he wouldn’t faint and followed her into the exam room. Of course he took slow steps to give himself time to regain his balance. He wanted to show her he was strong and could take care of himself. Probably cutting up his hand wasn’t the ideal way to demonstrate that.
 

The examination room was neat and tidy with a long table covered by a sheet. A cabinet with medical supplies stood on the opposite wall while a chair sat at a small desk in the corner. The room smelled of lemon and soap. It was a comforting place and it reminded him of Rebecca.
 

“Let’s clean your hand and then see what damage you did.”
 

He gave himself over to her care. Her touch was gentle but firm. She poured warm water into a basin over his wound. Her brow furrowed as she explored the ragged flesh.
 

“You have something in here. Some wood? No, it’s flakes of something else.” She spoke low as though she was addressing the wound and not the person. Rebecca picked up a pair of small pincers and picked out a few miniscule pieces of whatever she found. She tapped the pincers on another smaller basin and then returned to his hand.
 

He kept quiet as she worked. She was so damn confident in her actions. After plucking whatever she saw from the wound, she cleaned it again, this time with water and some kind of oil that smelled of flowers.
 

“What’s that?”
 

“Calendula. It’s good for cleaning out wounds.” She washed him until his skin started to wrinkle. A clean towel awaited him after she was satisfied with the general cleanliness of his wound.
 

“I probably have to stitch it. I’m afraid it’s too deep. If I bandage it, it will reopen.” She sounded apologetic.
 

“Then stitch it.” He would allow her to continue touching him for good, if that were possible.
 

After carefully threading a curved needle with string, which he didn’t want to know was made of. She held the flesh together and proceeded to sew him up with neat, even stitches. It hurt, but not as much as the damn pry bar.
 

She examined her own work and finally looked him in the eye. “How do you feel?”
 

“Ask me that after you bandage me up.” He was fair to bursting with words, but he kept them contained. One sentence at a time, one moment at a time. He could only hope that he could tell her everything one day.
 

“Fair enough.” She opened a small car and smeared a golden, sticky substance on the wound.
 

“What’s that?”
 

“Honey. It helps the healing process.”
 

“It might also help bugs to find me.” He wasn’t keen on that possibility.
 

Her blue-green gaze met his. “Do you trust me?”
 

“With my life.” He answered without thought and without regret.
 

Her mouth kicked up in a small smile. “Then let me tend to your wound as I see fit.”
 

He nodded and watched as she continued her work, finishing with a bandage tied with a knot near the bottom of his thumb. He flexed his hand, pleased with the mobility he had and how neatly she had doctored him.
 

“You’re very good at this.”
 

“I know.” She began cleaning up what she used, tossing the water out the window and rinsing the basin with fresh water. After she had put away the materials she used, he saw what he’d missed while she was being his doctor.
 

Rebecca was nervous.
 

He saw it in the way her gaze skittered away from his, how she wrung her hands, and how she twitched when he moved. The nervousness delighted him. It told him she was not immune to him.
 

“How do you feel now?” She set the unused bandages in the cabinet.
 

He got up, pleased to not be lightheaded, and cupped her chin, turning her head until she met his gaze. “Thank you, darlin’.”
 

“Don’t call me that.” Her words held no rancor, but instead were a plea.
 

“I can’t help it.” He brushed his lips across hers and he shook with the need to deepen the kiss, to taste her again.
 

“I can’t kiss you.”
 

“You just did.” He smiled and kissed her again, her lips softer than petals and twice as sweet as the honey she’d used on his wound.
 

“I’m working, Tobias. I need to be in charge and in control.” She stepped away from him. He ached to pull her back but let her go.
 

“There’s no other patients out there.” He held out his good hand. “A few kisses won’t hurt anyone and it will make us both feel good.”
 

She stared at his hand and slowly shook her head. “Right about now there isn’t much I’d like to do more, but I can’t.”
 

Tobias decided to share some of his story with her. No more hiding behind a wall. “When you left me in that jail cell, after you’d told me what happened to you, my heart was broken in two. I cried like a child.”
 

Her eyes flew open wide. “What?”
 

“Pops raised me to be a good man, but I’d already been a bad person in my mama’s care. I didn’t want to believe I could be the good man Pops thought I was. After he died, I blamed myself because of who I was.” He had wallowed in his pain, seeing nothing but the darkness in life. Because he didn’t want to see. “Then I met this feisty woman who was the first person to refuse to accept my shit.”
 

“Was that me?” She was absorbed in his words, which was a very good thing.
 

“It was. You did your best by Pops but I didn’t want to see that. I had lost the man who had loved an unlovable boy no matter how much that boy fought him.” Tobias’s throat tightened.
 

“You’re not unlovable.” She pressed a hand to his chest and his heart kicked into a gallop. Not a surprise, since it beat for her and her alone.
 

“I’m thirty years old, Becca. I didn’t know I was lovable until that moment in the jail cell. When you told me you had loved me and that we had lost our baby girl. I’m sorry, so very sorry.” His own eyes burned with unshed tears while hers spilled over. “I should have been there with you. I should have asked you to marry me. I should have told you I loved you. I could fill a wagon full of barrels with ‘should haves’. I hope you can forgive me for all the stupid things I did and all the good things I didn’t do. Most of all I hope you’ll forgive me for letting you bury our daughter on your own.”
 

A small sob worked its way up her throat. He felt its impact deep inside. “Doctor Radicy helped me.”
 

“It was my place but I wasn’t there for you.” He swallowed the lump in his own throat. “What did you name her?”
 

“How did you know I named her?”
 

“You loved her. I loved her too and she was already gone.” He had already imagined what the little girl would have looked like. “So what did you name her?”
 

“Abigail.”
 

Tobias smiled at her. “Beautiful name. She would have had your pretty eyes.”
 

At this Rebecca’s cheeks colored. “I wouldn’t care who she looked like.”
 

“Me neither.” He took her cold hands in his. “Can you forgive me for losing Abigail? And for not being there to hold your hands like this?”
 

“I forgave you a long time ago. You didn’t know—”
 

“I should have. See, there it is again!” He almost growled the words. “Don’t defend me. It took some time for me to accept where I went wrong. Even longer to stop listening to the urge to drink. I went very wrong with you. There is nothing in the world I can do to make it up to you, but I’m hoping you’ll give me the chance.”
 

He held his breath, the moment as fragile as a bubble in the wind. She wiped her cheeks and took a shaky breath.
 

“I wanted to put you in my past, but you keep appearing. You broke my heart and I never want to feel that pain again.” Her gaze was wary. “I don’t know if I can trust you.”
 

“I deserve that. All I’m asking for is a chance.” He repeated his plea, brutal honesty the only thing he had left.
 

Rebecca pulled away from him and walked to the window. She hugged her torso and stared out into the afternoon sunlight. His gut sank to his feet and he damn sure thought he’d lost her for good. He turned to leave the room, heartsick and angry at himself. He pushed her too soon and his own impatience had caused it. That demon would be the death of him.