The City of the Broken (Prince of the Broken) (21 page)

Just as
I’m convinced that things will all run smoothly, Calix makes me jump as he stands abruptly and throws the cushion he was clinging to onto the floor with considerable force.

“
Oh Seren, I’ve had enough! Why cant I ever just relax and enjoy life, carefree and normal like everyone else? Its always one thing after another” he says, storming off in a fit of rage.

“
Calix! Where are you going? Please calm down!” I call, but he ignores me, slamming the palace door, going out into the city but where I do not know.

Calix has been gone for an hour. I’m getting so worried. I hope he’s not going to do anything stupid. I’ve checked if he’s taken the car, but both Alfred and the Rolls Royce are still here. I’m tempted to ask Alfred to drive around and look for him. He’s become so temperamental. I cant keep up with his moods. Although with the loss of his Dad that’s understandable. 

As it starts to get darker, reflecting the content of my thoughts, I hear the front door of the palace open and close quietly. I rush out of the sitting room where I have spent all day waiting and feel instantly relieved of my anguish when I see Calix is the one who just entered.

“
Calix! Where have you been?” I ask furiously.

“
Just for a walk. I needed to clear my mind” he says calmly.

“
A walk? You’ve been gone hours! I’ve been going out of my mind, I thought that maybe something had snapped and you weren’t thinking straight. You stormed off so suddenly” I say.

“
I felt angry and resentful earlier Seren but I feel better now, more at peace with things. I just needed to be alone, to think” he says, looking at me intently.

“
Well you could have told me that! I’ve been waiting for you all day with my stomach in knots and my heart in my throat” I say.

“
I’m sorry Seren, really. This is a difficult time for me” he says truthfully.

“
I know, I’m sorry too. But in future if you need some alone time, please tell me first, just to relieve me of the worry I’ll experience if you don’t” I say.

He walks over and hugs me.

“I will. I promise.” he says, kissing the top of my head gently.

Calix drives me home in the Rolls-Royce and his expression, while still pained is now lighter, more at ease.

“
Isn’t it traditional to wait a while after a death until a coronation?” I ask Calix, bemused at these back to back opposing events.

“
Anywhere but here. This is the City of the Broken, endings and beginnings go hand in hand.” he says.

“
That’s true, I guess. Are you nervous about becoming king?” I ask him.

“
Well it is a little daunting but at the same time I feel like I’ve been preparing my whole life for this moment. I want to be the King that the citizens deserve Seren, the King they should have always had” he smiles innocently.

“
I know you do Calix, and you will be. The best King the City has ever had. Do you know when your Dads funeral is?” I ask gently, not wanting to get Calix upset again now that he’s looking perkier.

“
Yes, its on Wednesday. It’ll be a huge state funeral. I’m not looking forward to having to mourn publicly” he says solemnly, frowning at the thought.

“
Am I invited? I mean, do you think that its appropriate, your Dad did hate me after all” I say sceptically.

“
I know you and Dad weren’t on the best of terms, but I need you to be there for support Seren, to have a friendly face there who isn’t judging or evaluating me,” he says, looking worried and lost.

“
Don’t think that Calix, people aren’t judging you. They all know its been a shock for you losing your Dad so soon and that it’s not going to be an easy task taking on the role of King as young as you are. Anyway the funeral is about saying goodbye to the King, not scrutinising you. Don’t fret” I say, leaning my forehead against his.

“
I guess so. I shouldn’t care anyway, I shouldn’t be so egotistical. I don’t care if the whole world is judging me. I’ve lost my Dad, my eyes are sore from crying and the dark shadows under my eyes are blacker than the night. I’m exhausted, physically and emotionally. I’m sorry you’ve had to put up with this Seren. I’ve put you through so much. You deserve a better boyfriend than me” he says in an almost ashamed tone.

“
Calix, stop it! I’m the luckiest girl in the whole world to have you. You are like an angel-altruistic and beautiful, innocent yet knowing. I could never get a better boy than you even if I looked for one my whole life. I’m blessed to have found the ultimate so young” I say, smiling at him.

“
You make me out to be better than I actually am Seren. An angel? A fallen one perhaps. All our relationship has involved is struggles against Dad, our marriage being called off and even when he’s dead he’s still destroying us because I’ve become a wreck. You should have a boyfriend who takes you to parties, to the beach, who makes you laugh. Not one who puts the woes of the world on you like I do. Seren, do you want to leave me?” he asks, out of the blue.

“
No! Calix, I am here to support you every step of the way. I never want to leave you,
you
are the only thing that makes me happy. I don’t care for parties, and all this woe is just a phase. You’ll come to terms with your Dads death sooner or later, although I know that’s hard to believe right now. Then there will be just us, free to be with each other forever without interruption. Your grief is making you needy and insecure. I will
never
leave you “ I say forcefully, holding both his hands.

“
Okay. I believe you. I just feel so very alone now that my Dads gone, like I don’t have anyone to turn to anymore. And if I didn’t have you, I think I would just die” he says, his eyes sparkling with terror.

Chapter Eighteen.

The Funeral

Wednesday arrives. Calix has picked me up early as he wants me to sit next to him in the car as it follows the Kings coffin. Wearing a black dress, I look the same as I always do when I go to the City. Calix is wearing a black suit and looks understated
yet dapper.

As we drive through the gates, I can instantly see that this is going to be a huge affair. Roads are closed, black traffic cones with
‘funeral’ written on them line the streets. Shops are closed and the streets seem relatively empty. I wonder where everyone is.

We drive slowly up to the palace, where the whole city seems to be clustered. They stand behind barriers, wearing black, each one holding a single white lily or black rose in honour of the King.

In a large black horse-drawn hearse, wit
h a glass panel that displays the coffin, lies the King. The coffin is draped in a rich purple pall, with a black ‘B’ and a black crown embroidered onto it. Foot attends, pall bearers carrying batons, pages and mutes surround the hearse. Feather- men carry mourning fans made of black ostrich feather.

Six black horses, with black ostrich feather plumes on their heads pull the carriage. Five black cars follow, lead by Alfred in the Rolls-Royce. Despite the large crowd, there is complete silence.

The funeral takes place in the black cathedral, the only beacon of hope in a city of despair.

Calix aids in carrying his fathers coffin into the cathedral, which I hope will be the last time he has to carry the weight of his Father on his shoulders.

I sit next to Jane at the front, leaving an empty seat next to me for Calix.

“
You shouldn’t be here you know. The King abhorred you” she hisses at me.

“
I’m here for Calix” I say quietly, not wanting to argue at the Kings funeral.

The bishop says prayers for the King and r
eflects on his life, glossing over the negative aspects and highlighting the Kings strength of will and work ethic.

Every notable in the city is here, but remarkably Anita and Frederick are not. I guess that they must still be in hiding. All of the congre
gation wear black, the ladies are dressed dramatically in black veils and wear jet jewellery. Tears are shed into white handkerchiefs adorned with black edges.

Calix stands up halfway through the presentation to say some words in honour of his Father.

“Its always interesting how death unites everyone. I’m sure Dad would be pleased to know that the whole city is in mourning. My father, the King was a man who always gave one hundred percent of himself to any cause he truly believed in. He created strong opinions in people, but he was working to perfect his vision. Dad was a traditionalist, a pillar of stability in an ever-changing world. But more than a King, he was a father and he always tried to protect me in the way he thought correct. I didn’t expect to lose him so young. I’ll be honest, Dad gave the impression that he was invincible and could not die. His strength was such that sometimes I could forget he was just a human, and as vulnerable to illness as anyone else. Dad will be buried alongside his wife, who he loved dearly and he remained ever-faithful to his whole life, refusing to marry or even love again, perhaps this loyalty can be said to be his most admirable trait. Thank you all for attending today. It is on this day I officially say goodbye to my Father but its not forever and he shall never be forgotten” says Calix, stepping down to an applause from the congregation.

Calix resumes his seat and classical music starts to play.

“You were amazing Calix. It was so poignant” I say, laying my hand on his hand.

“
Thanks. I did get a little bit choked up in some parts, but I tried to control my emotion. Dad would have wanted it that way” he says.

As I look at the coffin laid on the bier, its like a mighty giant that could only e
ver be defeated while he slept. Only death could end the King’s reign.

“How are you feeling”? I ask Calix as we leave the cathedral and follow on to the burial.

“
Not as bad as I thought. I guess this is closure, the end of a chapter in my life and the beginning of a new one. I feel more at peace now that I’ve said goodbye. I think the fact that this day was looming was getting to me. It’s the waiting that’s the worst thing” he says.

We walk to the City of the Broken cemetery, which is grander than the graveyard that resides next to the entrance of the city. All of the graves are black and in the centre stands the stately tomb of HRH Queen Audrey 1
st
of the City of the Broken, Calix’s mother.

“
Its good that they can finally be together again in death” I say, holding Calix’s hand.

“
Yes, maybe Dad will finally have a smile on his face now” smiles Calix.

I laugh, but then stop, realizing its inappropriate at a funeral. Especially when it
’s a funeral of the King of the Broken.

“
I hope that’ll be us one day Calix. An everlasting couple, resting together, awaiting the next life” I say.

“
You are morbid Seren but me too. My mother and father were a wonderful couple. Maybe Dad’s heart was yearning so much for his wife that it couldn’t bear to carry on anymore. I like to think that’s the reason he died so early” says Calix thoughtfully as he looks upon his Mother’s, and soon to be parents grave.

The coffin is lowered into the earth and Calix sheds a tear.

“
Goodbye Dad” he says emotionally.

After the burial ,the mourners depart, offering condolences to Calix and wishing him luck with his future role as King.

We head back to the palace , away from the public, away from the show, just us together.
We go to Calix’s room.

“
Wow Calix this whole place is yours now” I say, looking at the positive angle of things.

“
Yes. Its far too big for one person. Maybe you could come and live with me Seren” he says seriously.

“
Live with you?
Here
in the City of the Broken?” I ask in complete astonishment.

“
Sure, why not? Dads not here to stop us now and we love each other, so its only natural” he smiles.

“
Wow Calix. This is such a big step…”I say

“
It is. And tonight I don’t want to think about all the serious grown up stuff. I invited you here to my room Seren so that we could hang out, listen to music and do whatever we want. This may be the last time I ever get to be a teenager ,a prince, carefree, devoid of responsibility. And I want to share this moment with you Seren .My moment of normality” he says enthusiastically.

“
Oh Calix, yes. Lets just chill out and be like everybody else. Tonight let us not have a care in the world” I say, a tear in my eye at Calix’s desperation in clinging to his lost youth.

“
You bet baby .I’m talking midnight feasts, too-loud music, staying up and talking until dawn. Just us, the world can wait. Let everyone else get swamped in toils and workloads, because tonight we don’t care” he says, electric and alive ,finally free to fly.

Should I feel bad that we are having this much fun after a funeral? Well I don’t. Tonight we are children again, stress and shame are not in our repertoire.

We eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, popcorn and sweets that rot the teeth. We listen to all our favou
rite songs, some which we haven’t heard in years. We dance through the dark, a disco ball highlighting our steps. We read our favourite poems, have quizzes on our favourite novels and even make up our own stories. We play truth or dare, trivial pursuit and Monopoly. Calix is beaming, and so am I.

Its hard to believe I
’m in the palace of the City of the Broken, a chamber of gloom. We laugh so hard it hurts, falling over into a heap of cushions and partake in a pillow fight.

“
Oh Calix, we’re alive!” I screech, as he attempts to tickle me.

I return home from the city, and am glad to leave Calix looking exuberant and hopeful about the future. I think that Calix is now at peace, as much as his Dad now is. Calix dropped me off at four o’ clock in the morning. I would have spent the night at his and arrived at college together, but I had to go home and change. I’m still wearing my funeral dress and its now sticky from popcorn and spilt fizzy drink.

At college there is hardly anyone around, so Calix and I lark about
in the corridors, dancing and jumping around like fools. The few people that pass us look at us like they think we are retarded.

“
I love that you’re about to be crowned King and everyone in this college is oblivious to this fact” I say, my arms wrapped around his neck.

“
Yeah me too, and lets keep it that way .I like the anonymity here” he says.

After returning my books to the college library, I check to see if Calix is ready to leave too.

“Have you finished everything as well?” I ask

“
Yes, I only came in to see if my final history assignment had been marked” he says.

“
Has it?”

“
Yes, I got an A*” he says happily.

“
Well obviously you did. I could have told you that” I say.

After our short stint in college, we head back to the City of the Broken. The coronation is tomorrow and Calix is eager to put in some practice.

“
I want to rehearse a bit for the coronation. To be honest this is stressing me out far more than Dads funeral. The whole focus will be on me and I feel like I’m not allowed to mess up” he says, creasing his forehead.

“
Calix please don’t worry. I know this is a big deal, but you are such a perfectionist and you are putting all of this pressure on yourself. Just relax, I promise you’ll be absolutely brilliant” I say, kissing him.

“
But what if, you know, I cant live up to my Dad?” he says hesitantly, flushing slightly from embarrassment.

“
What? Calix I think that is the most ludicrous thing you have ever said. No disrespect to the man but you will outshine his rule one hundred and ten percent, through kindness and justice alone. The only people who will disapprove of you becoming King will be traditionalists who don’t like change” I say forcefully.

“
I don’t know” he says doubtfully.

“
Please don’t compare yourself to your Dad Calix. You are so different from him. Your rule will be in an alternate universe to his, but that doesn’t make it bad. You are the rightful heir, your Dad wouldn’t trust the throne to any other hands” I say earnestly.

“
He didn’t trust it in my hands. You heard what he said that night we got engaged. Maybe I’m not good enough to be King” he sighs.

“
Just stop it Calix. Lets practice, the more you do, the better prepared and more confident you’ll be” I say, looking deeply into his eyes.

“
You’re right Seren. I’ve got to pull myself together, I’m going to be King” he says determined.

“
Right you are. Now lets get down to this” I say passionately.

We practice for hours with Calix balancing a textbook on his head in place of a crown, sitting on a dining chair in place of a throne and ad
dressing an audience of Alfred and I in place of the citizens. Calix seems more nervous than I thought he’d be ,despite the fact that its only us.

“
I just cant get it right Seren, its not good enough. I don’t sound sincere ,I sound rehearsed, like I’m acting” he says, evidently stressed.

“
Please calm down Calix. Its just stress. Maybe you sound rehearsed because you are reading a prepared speech. Perhaps on the day you should improvise a bit, freestyle” I say.

“
What if my mind goes blank and I cant think of anything to say?” he enquires.

“
Well memorise your speech as well, as a backup. But perhaps give the real speech a more human touch. The citizens will like to see your compassion, its what makes you you. Your trademark” I say.

“
I cant believe I have to do this so soon. Truth be told I’ve been rehearsing for this moment since I was a little boy, but I pictured it happening when I was fifty and grey, mature, with a knowledge of life and a social ease and grace that I haven’t yet mastered. Seren, do you think I’m too young to be King?” he asks.

I hesitate, because in some ways yes I do. Calix is just a teenager and the word King has a gravitas air to it. But at the same time Calix has a sense of responsibility, perhaps more so than his father ever did,
that far belies his young years. I couldn’t think of a better candidate to be a ruler. 

“
No Calix, I think you are very mature. Just get a good night sleep tonight, tomorrow is the day. You will make an amazing King” I say truthfully.