The Coincidence 03 The Destiny of Violet and Luke ARC (29 page)

“Violet, please settle down and think about that night carefully,” he says, rising to his feet, ruffling his blond hair into place. “Anything at all that you remember could be helpful.”

I back toward the door. “ ‘Lean into me. Lean into me. Take. Help me. I need to understand. Help me. I can’t do this without you.’ ”

He glances helplessly down at his stack of papers, sifting through them. “I’m sorry, Violet, but I don’t understand… Is that a song?”

“Yeah, it’s a song, you asshole.” I jerk open the door. “The woman was singing it that night, but you should already have that in your file if you’ve read through it all. Now, are we done here?”

He hesitates, then nods once and I start to head out. “Wait, Violet, one more thing,” he calls and I pause, but don’t turn around. “I just want to let you know that you might see a few things about the case being reopened on the news.”

I whirl around. “Why?”

He stacks his papers back into a manila folder. “We sometimes think it’s helpful to announce it to the public in hopes of someone stepping forward with information.”

“No one stepped forward with information thirteen years ago,” I say hotly. “Why would they do it now?”

“Time generally makes people less afraid,” he states, gathering his papers into his hand. “I just want to let you know so you’re not surprised if you see something.”

“Well, thanks for thinking of me,” I say sarcastically. And with that line, I exit, slamming the door behind me.

I slip my phone out of my back pocket as I nearly run through the police station. I dial Luke’s number as I burst out the front doors and sunlight spills over me. It’s the only number I’ve ever programmed into my phone, other than Preston’s and my regular buyers. It’s strange to be calling him, but a little relieving to actually have someone I can rely on. I felt sort of bad this morning that I was barely talking to him, but I couldn’t help it. I was too nauseous and distracted with coming down here and I’ve been feeling awkward about our kiss. I’ve never done awkward before—I’m usually the one who makes people feel awkward.

Luke’s phone never rings, going straight to his voicemail, and I shake my head at myself. “I should have known better,” I mutter, pressing my finger over the end button without leaving a message. I shut off my phone, cutting off any connection we developed, then glance up the busy street and sidewalk, wondering what I should do. There’s all this restless energy inside me as I’m flooded by my past.

I’m not solely focusing on my parents’ deaths, I’m also remembering when they were alive, playing with me at the park, opening presents on Christmas morning, going to the zoo. Laughing and smiling in the most genuine, pure way that’s ever existed. I remember being loved. God, I hate remembering that. It hurts so bad, knowing I had it once. It’d be better if I never knew what it felt like to know someone cared about me enough to never let anything hurt me, because I couldn’t feel the ache over something I never had.

I massage my chest with my hand, pressing so hard it aches. I want to tear it open and pull out my heart to stop the excruciating pain. I’m tumbling into the place I need to escape, I need to do something other than continue to remember what I don’t have any more, to feel that they’re gone, feel the pain of everyone that never wanted me, the heartache, the abandonment, the hatred for the people who did this, the needles, the razors, the tearing at the inside of my skin. God, I need to get it out.

“I need to…” I scratch at my skin, digging and digging until lines of blood trail down my arms. “Shit.” I try to wipe the blood away, not wanting anyone to see, as I hurry down the stairs to the sidewalk beside the street.

I head to the left and walk swiftly past the shops toward where the apartment complex is on Elm. The entire way that stupid song is on repeat in my head as I keep picturing the details of my parents’ case play over and over again on TV. It becomes my own personal torture and I can’t turn it off no matter what I try to think about. And it takes an hour to walk to the apartment in this heat, and I’m thirsty, hungry, and mentally and physically exhausted by the time I’m entering the entrance of the apartment complex. But through the heat wave, my desert-dry throat, and my grumbling belly, I still feel the clawing sensation under my skin and the nagging need to shove it out of my body, the only way I know how.

I run up the stairs to the third floor where the door to my apartment is. It’s strange, knowing this is where I’m going to be living for the summer with three guys, one whom doesn’t like me, one that seems afraid of me, and one that seems conflicted on whether or not he wants to screw me. If he showed up right now, I’d probably let him, since his needy, hot touch seems to have the power to smother my emotions almost as good as standing on the balcony does. But he’s not here and right now I’m going to have to settle for the balcony.

I open the door, ready to dash across the living room to the sliding glass door, but slam to a halt when I spot Greyson in the kitchen with an array of baking ingredients on the counter and a red mixing bowl. He’s preparing to bake cookies or something, and “Demons” by Imagine Dragons is playing from an iPod. He’s fairly tall with blond hair and light blue eyes. He’s wearing a gray fitted shirt and with a black shirt over it, the buttons undone.

His head is tipped down as he studies an open recipe book, but he smiles up at me when I shut the front door. “Hey.”

I’ve only crossed paths with him at the university and a few times in my dorm room. We’ve never spoken and he’s always seemed content with that.

I force a stiff smile and whisk by the coffee table and the boxes in the middle of the floor and head toward my room, figuring out an alternative way to regain control over my thoughts and heart. As I pass by the kitchen island, his eyes land on my arms, at the scratches, which are swollen and raw.

“Jesus.” He rounds the counter and strides over to me. “What happened to your arms?”

“I got attacked by a cat,” I say, still moving for my bedroom, needing to be alone and escape the only way I know how.

He lightly grabs my arm, forcing me to stop right before I reach the hallway that has a bedroom and a bath to the right and another bedroom to the left, my bedroom, which I need to be in, right now.

“It must have been a really big fucking cat,” he states, examining the scratches, tracing a path up and down my arm with his fingers. “You should put some peroxide on them or you’re going to get an infection.”

“I will,” I reply, subtly wiggling my arm away from his grip and covering the scratches with my hand. “That’s actually where I was headed.”

He smiles, but looks conflicted. “Well let me know if you need anything.” He turns toward the kitchen and goes back to the stove. “Do you want to help me make brownies?”

I pause. “Seriously?”

He picks up a stick of butter and begins unwrapping it. “It’s just cooking, Violet. No need to get worked up.” The corners of his lips tug upward as I walk over to him, curious.

“Yeah, but what about Seth?” I ask, resting my elbows on the counter as he drops the stick of butter into the bowl.

“What about Seth?”

“Doesn’t it seem like he might not be a fan of you hanging out with me, since I’m a vixen and all.”

“Well, since I’m not really into vixens or women in general, I’m pretty sure he won’t mind.” He grins and it’s probably the happiest grin I’ve ever seen.

“That’s not what I mean,” I say. “I meant, because he seems to have an issue with me.”

“He just likes drama,” he explains, opening another stick of butter. “He’ll get over it once he realizes you’re not going to steal his thunder.”

“Steal his thunder?”

“Yeah, you being the very colorful person that you are.” He eyes me with a look that makes me feel light inside and I sort of want to hug him.

I slide down into the stool. “And colorful is a good thing, right?”

“Of course.” He stabs the stick of butter with the spoon. “Besides, you and I are going to be hanging out at work when I start my job at Moonlight Dining. It’s inevitable.”

“You’re going to be working at Moonlight Dining and Drinks?” I ask.

He nods. “Yeah, I start Tuesday.”

I’ve been trying not to think of the fact that I only have one job now and a lot more bills. Plus, the rush I get from dealing is no longer an option. My life is changing and I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing. “Well, here’s a little tip: It gets really slow most nights and the tips suck.”

“That’s good to know. I’ll make sure to dazzle as many costumers as I can then. That way the tips that I get will make up for it. ” He grins at me. “I’m good at dazzling.”

“I’m sure you are.” I’m amused. “I think you and I could end up getting along, Greyson.”

“You think so?” he teases in a light tone as he sets the spoon down. “You know what I think would be the perfect new roommate bonding moment? Baking some brownies together.”

“I haven’t baked any brownies or anything really since I was six,” I admit.

He presses his hand to his heart and shakes his head. “Well, we need to change that. Granted, the best kind of bonding brownies are pot brownies, but I don’t have any pot.”

“Pot brownies?” I ask interestedly.

“Oh yes.” He picks up the bowl and heads to the corner of the kitchen. “My parents were very hippieish and used to make them.”

“And let you eat them?”

“No, but I started sneaking them when I was about fifteen and went through my teenage rebellious phase. I’m not going to lie, I still do it occasionally when I want to relax.”

“Did you wear dark clothing and write depressing poetry, too?”

“Yes, to the dark clothing.” He opens the microwave and puts the bowl inside. “But no to the poetry. I was more into lyrics and music.”

“Do you still write?” I ask. “Or play anything?”

He shakes his head as he closes the microwave door. “Nah, I may have been into it, but I wasn’t very good.” He presses buttons on the microwave and it clicks on. Then he turns around and reclines against the counter, facing me with his arms folded. “So what was your rebellious phase, Violet?”

I glance down at my dark clothes, hiding my tattoos. “I think I might still be going through it.”

“And who are you rebelling from?” he wonders.

“Myself.”

He laughs under his breath. “What about your parents? Did they hate—or do they still hate your rebellious phase?”

My heart drops into my stomach and I suddenly remember where I was headed before I got sidetracked with this conversation. “You know,” I say as calmly as I can as I get up off the stool. “If you really want to make pot brownies, I can help with that.”

His brows lift as the microwave beeps from behind him. “Oh really?”

I shrug, backing for my room. “It’s up to you. I’m just offering.”

He moves away from the counter and pops the microwave door open. “Well, I’m not going to pass up an offer.”

I smile my fake, shiny necklace smile, the one I plaster on my face when I need to look happy. “I’ll be right back.” I duck into my room and go over to the boxes stacked at the foot of the unmade queen-size bed. I rifle through them until I find the prescription bottle I keep my stash in. I’m surprised Preston didn’t ask for it back, but he was probably too hung over on ecstasy to even remember I had it. But I don’t doubt that he’ll eventually remember and come asking for it. It seems like I should care, but at the moment I don’t.

I return to the kitchen where Greyson is reading the recipe book again, muttering the lyrics of the song under his breath.

“I’m going to have to tweak this a little now,” he says with his finger on the page.

“Well, tweak away.” I toss him the prescription bottle and his eyes widen as he catches it.

“Holy shit,” he says as he twists the cap off and glances at the fairly good stash inside. “Where’d you get this?”

“I have connections.” My smile is still bright like a polished cubic zirconium as I start for my room.

“Wait, don’t you want any?” he calls out.

“Sure,” I reply. “But I have to take care of something first.”

He gives me a puzzled look, but I walk away, leaving him in the kitchen to bake his pot brownies. I won’t go back and join him, not just because pot makes me evil and crazy like alcohol, but because I’m not in the mood for company anymore.

When I get back to my room, I lock the door. Then I head over to the window beside the bed and slide it open. I pop the screen off, set it down on the bed, then swing my legs out. I settle in the windowsill, staring down at the three-story drop to the concrete. I think I’d be able to survive it, but it’s hard to say for sure. If I hit my head, my skull would probably crack and if I landed on my feet, I’d probably compress my spine. Bones would probably break and my blood would stain the concrete like my parents’ blood stained the carpet, walls, and comforter on the bed. The fall would hurt if I survived, but for the briefest moment during the fall, I’d feel at peace, knowing that it could all just end.

Chapter 12

Luke

I realize as soon as I turn my phone back on that I’ve messed up. There’s one missed call from Violet. I try to call her, but it goes straight to her voicemail. Normally, I wouldn’t think anything of it, but she looked so shocked when I asked for her number. I get the feeling she’s not used to having people to depend on.