The Complete Kane Chronicles (95 page)

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Authors: Rick Riordan

Tags: #Fiction - Young Adult

BOOK: The Complete Kane Chronicles
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He lowered his head. “Yes, we do. May Ma’at protect us all.”

“Oh, we’ll have fun!” Setne said cheerfully. “Shall we get going? Doomsday isn’t gonna wait!”

C A R T E R

11. Don’t Worry, Be Hapi

T
YPICAL
.

Sadie and Walt go off looking for a friendly shadow, while Zia and I escort a psychotic murderous ghost to his heavily trapped stash of forbidden magic. Gee, who got the better end of that deal?

The
Egyptian Queen
burst out of the Underworld and into the Nile like a breaching whale. Its paddle wheel churned through the blue water. Its smokestacks billowed golden smoke into the desert air. After the gloom of the Duat, the sunlight was blinding. Once my eyes adjusted, I saw we were chugging downriver, heading north, so we must have surfaced somewhere to the south of Memphis.

On either side, marshy green riverbanks columned with palm trees stretched into the humid haze. A few houses dotted the landscape. A battered pickup truck rumbled down the riverfront road. A sailboat glided by on our port side. No one paid us any attention.

I wasn’t sure exactly where we were. It could’ve been anywhere along the Nile. But judging from the position of the sun, it was already late morning. We’d eaten and slept in my father’s realm, figuring we wouldn’t be able to close our eyes once we had custody of Setne. It hadn’t felt like much of a rest, but obviously we’d spent more time down under than I realized. The day was slipping by. Tomorrow at dawn, the rebels would attack the First Nome, and Apophis would rise.

Zia stood next to me at the bow. She’d showered and changed into a spare set of combat clothes—a camo tank top, olive cargo pants tucked into her boots. Maybe that doesn’t sound glamorous, but in the morning sunlight she was beautiful. Best of all, she was here in person—not a reflection in the scrying bowl, not a
shabti
. When the wind changed directions I caught the scent of her lemon shampoo. Our forearms touched as we leaned against the rail, but she didn’t seem to mind. Her skin was feverishly warm.

“What are you thinking?” I asked.

She had trouble focusing on me. Up close, the flecks of green and black in her amber eyes were sort of hypnotizing. “I was thinking about Ra,” she said. “Wondering who’s taking care of him today.”

“I’m sure he’s fine.”

But I felt a little disappointed. Personally, I was thinking about the moment when Zia had taken my hand in the dining room last night:
Sometimes you have to follow your heart.
This might be our last day on earth. If it was, I should really tell Zia how I felt about her. I mean, I thought she knew, but I didn’t
know
that she knew, so…Oh, man. Headache.

I started to say, “Zia—”

Setne materialized next to us. “All better!”

In the daylight, he looked almost like flesh-and-blood, but when he turned in a circle, showing off his new clothes, his face and hands flickered holographically. I’d given him permission to put on something besides the loincloth. In fact, I’d insisted. But I hadn’t expected an outfit so mind-boggling.

Maybe he was trying to live up to Sadie’s nickname for him: Uncle Vinnie. He wore a black suit jacket with padded shoulders, a red T-shirt, a crisp pair of jeans, and blindingly white running shoes. Around his neck was a heavy gold chain of interlocking
ankh
s. On each pinky he wore a ring the size of a jawbreaker, with the symbol of power—
was
—set in diamonds. His hair was combed back with even more grease. His eyes were lined with
kohl. He looked like the Ancient Egyptian Mafia.

Then I noticed something missing from his ensemble. He didn’t seem to be wearing the Ribbons of Hathor.

I’ll admit: I panicked. I yelled the command word Zia had taught me:
“Tas!”

The symbol for
Bind
flared in Setne’s face:

The Ribbons of Hathor reappeared around his neck, wrists, ankles, chest, and waist. They expanded aggressively, cocooning Setne in a pink tornado until he was wrapped tight as a mummy, with nothing showing but his eyes.

“Mm!” he protested.

I took a deep breath. Then I snapped my fingers. The bindings shrank back to their normal size.

“What was
that
for?” Setne demanded.

“I didn’t see the ribbons.”

“You didn’t…” Setne laughed. “Carter, Carter, Carter. Come on, pal. That’s just an illusion—a cosmetic change. I can’t
really
get out of these things.”

He held out his wrists. The ribbons vanished, then reappeared. “See? I’m just concealing them, ’cause pink doesn’t go with my outfit.”

Zia snorted. “Nothing goes with that outfit.”

Setne shot her an irritated look. “No need to get personal, doll. Just relax, okay? You saw what happens—one word from you, and I’m tied up good. No problems.”

His tone sounded so reasonable. Setne was no problem. Setne would cooperate. I could just relax.

In the back of my mind, the voice of Horus said,
Careful.

I raised my mental guard. Suddenly I was aware of hieroglyphs floating in the air around me—half-visible wisps of smoke. I willed them to disappear, and they fizzled like gnats in a bug zapper. “Stop it with the magic words, Setne. I’ll relax when our business is done and you’re back in my dad’s custody. Now, where are we going?”

A moment of surprise passed over Setne’s face. He hid it with a smile. “Sure, no problem. Glad to see that
path of the
gods
magic is working out for you. How you doing in there, Horus?”

Zia snarled impatiently. “Just answer the question, you maggot, before I burn that smile off your face.”

She thrust out her hand. Flames wreathed her fingers.

“Zia, whoa,” I said.

I’d seen her get angry before, but the
burn-your-smile-off
tactic seemed a little harsh even for her.

Setne didn’t seem concerned. From his jacket, he pulled a strange white comb—were those human finger bones?—and brushed his greasy hair.

“Poor Zia,” he said. “The old man is getting to you, isn’t he? Having any trouble with, ah, temperature control yet? I’ve seen a few people in your situation spontaneously combust. Not pretty.”

His words obviously rattled Zia. Her eyes seethed with loathing, but she closed her fist and extinguished the flames. “You vile, despicable—”

“Take it easy, doll,” Setne said. “I’m just expressing concern. As for where we’re going—south of Cairo, the ruins of Memphis.”

I wondered what he’d meant about Zia. I decided this wasn’t the time to ask. I didn’t want Zia’s flaming fingers in
my
face.

I tried to recall what I knew about Memphis. I remembered it was one of the old capitals of Egypt, but it had been destroyed centuries ago. Most of the ruins were buried under modern Cairo. Some were scattered in the desert to the south. My dad had probably taken me to excavation sites in that area once or twice, but I didn’t have any clear recollection. After a few years, all the dig sites sort of blended together.

“Where exactly?” I demanded. “Memphis was a big place.”

Setne wiggled his eyebrows. “You got that right. Man, the times I used to have in Gamblers’ Alley…but never mind. The less you know, pal, the better. We don’t want our snaky Chaos friend gleaning information from your mind, do we? Speaking of which, it’s a miracle he hasn’t already seen your plans and sent some nasty monster to stop you. You seriously need to work on your mental defenses. Reading your mind is
way
too easy. As for your girlfriend here…”

He leaned toward me with a grin. “Would you like to know what
she’s
thinking?”

Zia understood the Ribbons of Hathor better than I did. Instantly, the band around Setne’s neck tightened and became a lovely pink collar with a leash. Setne gagged and clawed at his throat. Zia grabbed the other end of the lead.

“Setne, you are I are going to the wheelhouse,” she announced. “You will give the captain
exact
information about where we’re going, or you’ll never breathe again. Understood?”

She didn’t wait for a response. He couldn’t have given one anyway. She dragged him across the deck and up the stairs like a very bad dog.

As soon as they’d disappeared into the pilot’s house, someone next to me chuckled. “Remind me not to get on
her
bad side.”

Horus’s instincts kicked in. Before I knew what was happening, I’d summoned my
khopesh
from the Duat and was resting the curved edge against my visitor’s throat.

“Really?” said the god of Chaos. “This is how you greet an old friend?”

Set leaned casually against the rail in a black three-piece suit and a matching porkpie hat. The outfit was striking against his bloodred skin. The last time I’d seen him, he’d been bald. Now he had braided cornrows decorated with rubies. His black eyes glittered behind small round glasses. With a chill, I realized he was impersonating Amos.

“Stop that.” I pressed my blade against his throat. “Stop mocking my uncle!”

Set looked offended. “Mocking? My dear boy, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery! Now, please, can we talk like civilized semi-divine beings?”

With one finger he pushed the
khopesh
away from his neck. I lowered my blade. Now that I was over my initial shock, I had to admit I was curious about what he wanted.

“Why are you here?” I demanded.

“Oh, pick a reason. The world ends tomorrow. Perhaps I wanted to say good-bye.” He grinned and waved. “Bye! Or perhaps I wanted to explain. Or give you a warning.”

I glanced toward the wheelhouse. I couldn’t see Zia. No alarm bells were ringing. No one else seemed to have noticed that the god of evil had just materialized on our boat.

Set followed my gaze. “How about that Setne, huh? I love that guy.”

“You would,” I muttered. “Was he named after you?”

“Nah.
Setne
is just his nickname. His real name is Khaemwaset, so you can see why he likes Setne better. I hope he doesn’t kill you right away. He’s a lot of fun…until he kills you.”

“Is that what you wanted to explain?”

Set adjusted his glasses. “No, no. It’s the thing with Amos. You’ve got the wrong idea.”

“You mean that you possessed him and tried to destroy him?” I asked. “That you almost shattered his mind? And that now you want to do it again?”

“The first two—true. The last one—no. Amos called
me
, kid. You gotta understand, I could never have invaded his mind in the first place if he didn’t share some of my qualities. He
understands
me.”

I clenched my sword. “I understand you, too. You’re evil.”

Set laughed. “You figure that out all by yourself? The god of evil is evil? Sure I am, but not
pure
evil. Not
pure
Chaos, either. After I spent some time in Amos’s head, he understood. I’m like that improvisational jazz he loves—chaos within order. That’s our connection. And I’m still a god, Carter. I’m…what do you call it? The
loyal opposition
.”

“Loyal. Yeah, right.”

Set gave me a sly smile. “Okay, I want to rule the world. Destroy anyone who gets in my way? Of course. But that snake Apophis—he takes things too far. He to wants pull the whole of creation down into a big soupy primordial mess. Where’s the fun in that? If it comes down to Ra or Apophis, I fight on Ra’s side. That’s why Amos and I have a deal. He’s learning the path of Set. I’m going to help him.”

My arms trembled. I wanted to cut Set’s head off, but I wasn’t sure I had the strength. I also wasn’t sure it would hurt him. I knew from Horus that gods tended to laugh off simple injuries like decapitation.

“You expect me to believe you’ll cooperate with Amos?” I asked. “Without trying to overpower him?”

“Sure, I’ll
try
. But you should have more faith in your uncle. He’s stronger than you think. Who do you think sent me here to explain?”

An electric charge went through my body. I wanted to believe Amos had everything under control, but this was
Set
talking. He did remind me a lot of the ghost magician Setne—and that wasn’t a good thing.

“You’ve done your explaining,” I said. “Now you can leave.”

Set shrugged. “Okay, but it does seem like there was one more thing…” He tapped his chin. “Oh, right. The warning.”

“The warning?” I repeated.

“Because usually when Horus and I fight, it would be
me
who was responsible for what’s about to kill you. But this time, it’s not. I thought you should know. Apophis is
so
copying my moves, but like I said…” He took off his porkpie hat and bowed, the rubies glittering in his cornrows. “Imitation is flattery.”

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