The Complete Private Collection: Private; Invitation Only; Untouchable; Confessions; Inner Circle; Legacy; Ambition; Revelation; Last Christmas; Paradise ... The Book of Spells; Ominous; Vengeance (169 page)

And then, of course, there was the tremendous Christmas tree in the center of the room. The star at the top nearly brushed the panes of the skylight, and every sparkling ornament on the tree was perfectly placed. White lights twinkled and winked from its boughs, and the garland was made of hand-strung popcorn and cranberries.

“Do you think the garland is real?” I asked.

“It is. I already checked,” Marc said, popping an hors d’oeuvre into his mouth.

“How did you check?” Constance asked.

Marc turned pink and shrugged one shoulder. “I ate a kernel.”

Everyone laughed and I let myself bask in the total peace and tranquility of the moment. For the first time in so long I felt normal. I felt social. I felt warm. Over by the tree, students were lining up to add their gifts to the pile, which was now overflowing into the aisle between tables in both directions.

“So, who did you get in the gift thing?” Astrid asked me.

I glanced at Marc, who looked quickly away. “I’ll never tell,” I replied.

“Oh, rubbish! It’s over now. You have to tell,” Astrid wheedled.

I blushed and shook my head. The last thing I wanted was for all my friends to be watching Josh when he opened his present. “Nope! Never!”

“God. I wish I had been there,” Sonal whispered behind me.

“Been there for what?” I asked, tuning in and hoping to distract Astrid.

Sonal looked at Diana and Shane as if she had been snagged.

“When they dragged Ivy off,” Shane answered for her. “Did you see anything?”

I glanced around to see if anyone was listening in, then took a step closer to Sonal, drawing the entire group into a tighter circle. I had never been big on gossip and rumors, but for once there was a story I was dying to spread. If only because this story might finally prove to everyone that I was innocent.

“Not much,” I admitted. “But Sabine and I heard the whole thing. It sounded like they were pretty convinced she had something to do with Cheyenne’s death.”

Of course, I’d heard nothing of the sort. But I knew what I knew.

“The girl is definitely guilty,” Sabine put in. “You could see it all over her face.”

“You must be freaking out, Reed,” Constance said. “I mean, Josh is
dating
her.”

“I know,” I replied, my heart sinking.

I looked over my shoulder again and immediately found Josh in the mingling throng. I had been paying attention to his whereabouts all night. He had been sticking close to his usual crowd—Trey, Weston Bright, and the other guys from Ketlar—and seemed to be having a good time, considering his girlfriend was in police custody. Was it because he couldn’t care less about Ivy, or because
he was so convinced that nothing would come of it? So convinced of her innocence.

Oh, how I hoped it was the former.

“Well, at least it gets you off the rumor mill,” Diana said with a small smile. “You must be happy about that.”

“You have no idea,” I told her with a laugh.

Soon everyone would know that I was innocent. Soon Noelle and Josh would realize that I had been right all along. That I had saved them both from being hurt. Soon everything would be back the way it was supposed to be.

Well, almost the way it was supposed to be. I spotted Amberly on the other side of the room, wearing a light blue sheath and holding court with Missy and Lorna. With her around, there would be no room for me in Billings, even if Noelle miraculously decided to forgive me. Part of me wanted to grab the cocktail sauce from a passing waiter’s tray, go over there, and dump it over her platinum blond head—get back at her for destroying my room the way she had, for invading my privacy, trashing my things, trying to take my place. But I simply clenched my fingers and told myself to chill. Now was not the time or the place. There was always tomorrow for a catfight. Tonight I was focusing on the positive.

A sudden tinkle of silver bells brought the conversation in the room to a complete halt. Headmaster Cromwell stepped up in front of the tree. For a man who had just watched two of his students get hauled off by the cops, he was looking calm and composed. Happy, even.

“If everyone will take your seats, the first course is about to be served,” he announced, with the proud air of someone who was pulling off the event of the season.

“I’ll see you guys later?” I said to Marc, Sabine, and the other Billings Girls.

“Definitely,” Constance replied.

With a smile, I wove my way toward the Pemberly table with Diana, Shane, and Sonal. It was so nice to feel as if I had friends again. But at the same time, my heart started to pound with trepidation. The start of the meal meant that the moment of truth was coming. I hugged myself and hoped that I was prepared. Before long, my fate would be decided.

“So I just want to say ‘Hells, yeah’ to the members of the men’s soccer team!” Trey announced, gesturing so vehemently with his right hand that his sparkling cider sloshed over the side of the glass in his left. “Thanks for the most kick-ass senior season ever!”

The members of the team, peppered throughout the room, went wild, and everyone else joined in, cheering for Trey’s toast as he downed his drink. Headmaster Cromwell, however, didn’t look all that pleased.

“Thank you, Mr. Prescott,” he said, stepping up behind Trey and laying a heavy hand on his shoulder. “That was very eloquent,” he said sarcastically.

Trey glanced at the headmaster, chagrined, and dropped into his chair. Across the table from Trey, Josh shook his head and smirked. The speech was kind of out of character for one of the most mature guys on campus. I wondered if Trey had brought along his own flask, or if he had been sipping from someone else’s.

“And now, moving on to Pemberly . . .” Headmaster Cromwell stepped up to the end of our table. My breath caught in my throat and instantly, my body temperature doubled. This was it. Now or never. “Would any of the Pemberly ladies care to make a toast?”

Everyone at the table glanced at everyone else. I was just starting to think it might be wise to wait for someone else to go first, when it became clear that no one had any intention of saying a thing. I suppose the women of Pemberly weren’t exactly an extroverted crowd. Headmaster Cromwell’s lips pursed in annoyance, and suddenly I found myself raising my hand at table level.

“I have something to say.”

Instantly, murmurs sprung up at all the surrounding tables and quickly spread the length and breadth of the room. My heart started to pound in earnest.

“What’s
she
going to say?” Amberly whispered. “‘Thanks for letting me get away with murdering one of my friends?’”

Right. So even though the news of Ivy’s arrest had spread across campus like a bad stomach flu, I guess not everyone believed in her guilt quite yet. I had expected the headmaster to be relieved that Pemberly wasn’t going to entirely let him down. Instead, his face clouded over. I really was not his favorite person on campus.

“Fine, then,” he said gruffly. He lifted his chin and announced to the room, “Miss Reed Brennan would like to make a toast!”

The level of buzz in the room grew as I awkwardly pushed my chair back and stood. This was it. My big, brilliant win-Noelle-back plan. I had publicly humiliated her with the Dash video. The only way I
could think of to make up for it was to publicly praise her.

My knees were quaking like a Jell-O mold in an earthquake, and for the first time, I was annoyed with myself for not bringing my notes along. I had thought it would be more sincere if I spoke from the heart, without the aid of index cards. But now that I could see the disapproving faces at the Billings table, I couldn’t remotely recall what I’d been going to say.

My heart pounded quick and shallow. Everyone here was against me. I couldn’t do this. What was I thinking? In about two seconds people were going to start hurling half-eaten rolls at me.

Then I looked at Noelle. She was watching me with amused interest, her arm crooked over the back of her chair, her legs crossed at the knee, the full, scalloped skirt of her black dress draping elegantly toward the floor. This was for her. I had to remember that. This was all for her.

“I would like to toast Noelle Lange,” I announced in a loud, clear voice.

That
really
got the room going. Chairs squeaked, people laughed, incredulous voices filled the room. How was I ever going to get them to shut up? I glanced at Sabine helplessly, but her mouth was hanging open in total shock. Constance and Astrid looked blown away as well. All right, so I hadn’t warned them that this was coming, but couldn’t they understand? Didn’t they know that sometimes a girl just had to lay it all on the line?

“Excuse me!” Headmaster Cromwell shouted. “I expect the same silence and courtesy for each and every one of your schoolmates!”

A hush fell on the cafeteria. An energized, anticipatory hush, but
a hush nonetheless. Noelle reached for her water glass, took a nonchalant sip, and replaced it on the tablecloth before returning her attention to me, one eyebrow raised. I could just imagine what she was thinking:

This should be interesting.

I cleared my throat and began.

“As many of you . . . well,
all
of you, know, this has been a rather insane and traumatic semester for me. For a lot of us,” I said. “There has been a lot of grief, a lot of upheaval, a lot of rumors—some very true, some very false,” I said, the words of my preplanned speech coming back to me in a rush. “But I’m not here to defend myself or clear my name. I think that will come in its own time. I’m here to say that I would never have gotten through any of it without the friendship of Noelle Lange.”

Noelle shifted in her seat ever so slightly. I was getting through to her. I had to be.

“Noelle is a true friend. She is someone who always has your back. Someone who will do anything for you if you need her. Someone who is creative and good and kind.”

At this point I looked Noelle right in the eye. My palms were sweating so badly I was afraid I was going to drop my champagne flute, but I pressed on.

“And I’m sorry if I forgot all that for five stupid minutes. I’m sorry to have thrown away something so precious to me, over something so superficial. A friendship that could have lasted my whole life, over something so fleeting.”

From the corner of my eye, I could see that everyone at the Billings
table was either gaping at me or at Noelle. But the two of us simply stared at each other.

“So here’s to Noelle Lange,” I said, raising my glass. “A true asset to Billings, a true asset to Easton, and the true friend I hope will forgive me someday.”

There was a prolonged moment of silence. I think everyone was so stunned they forgot where they were.

“To Noelle Lange!” Headmaster Cromwell announced finally, raising his glass. Not so much to save me, I’m sure, but to save his ceremony.

“Noelle Lange!” the room echoed.

We all sipped our drinks and I stood there, waiting for a reaction from Noelle. Waiting for any kind of sign. She simply sipped her sparkling cider and looked at me as if she was seeing me for the first time. Then she finally turned back to her table, turning her shoulder to me. That was it. No smile. No nod. Nothing.

I dropped into my chair, exhausted, and placed my glass back down on the table. I felt numb all over. As if my skin, my muscles, my bones, had all turned to dust.

“Damn, girl. That took guts,” Shane said in my ear.

“But it wasn’t enough,” I said quietly, the realization seeping into my veins like poison. “Nothing’s ever going to be enough.”

After Noelle’s nonreaction to my speech, all I really wanted to do was retreat to Pemberly and sleep, but Headmaster Cromwell had made it clear this was a mandatory event, so I was in it for the long haul. I sat through coffee and dessert without touching a thing, but no one noticed my dejected state. Because after a few polite bites were taken, the student body got down to the real business of the night—hunting for their gifts. Once a few sophomore girls got up and ventured tentatively toward the tree, half the room was out of their seats and clamoring for their presents.

Suddenly I felt the mildest sizzle of excitement. The night wasn’t over yet. I stood up as the rest of my table emptied, trying to keep an eye on Josh. Unfortunately, it took about two seconds for me to lose him in the mayhem.

“Reed? Aren’t you coming?” Diana asked me as she pushed her chair in.

“Nah. I think I’ll wait out the rush,” I told her.

In truth, I had almost zero interest in finding my gift. Aside from a very select few, most of the people on this campus had been shunning me for days. What if whoever had drawn my name had gotten me some kind of gag gift? Like a box full of coal or a dead rat or something. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to handle that with any kind of grace.

So instead, I sat back and watched. I watched as people tore through designer paper and whipped open gift boxes. Watched as the girls draped ribbons around one another’s shoulders and
ooh
ed and
aah
ed over their gifts. I saw quite a few pairs of leather gloves, cashmere scarves, sparkly earrings, and Dooney & Bourke bags. There were also a few creative and fun gifts. A sleek remote-control helicopter that was soon winging its way around the room, threatening to take out the lights. An alarm clock that wouldn’t break or stop beeping even if hurled across the room, a claim which was immediately tested by its new owner. One girl screeched so loudly when she opened her gift—a pair of front-row tickets to some sold-out concert—that everyone stopped for a minute and laughed.

Where was Josh? I was dying to see his reaction to his gift. To see if he understood the significance of the paintbrushes—the same ones we’d used last year to fling paint all over his dorm room walls. It had been the first time I’d realized just how much I cared about him. How much he understood me. Loved me. But Josh was nowhere to be found.

Feeling desperate now, I finally moved from my safety zone and did a slow lap of the room, staying on the outskirts by the tables—
never really approaching the tree. I found Trey and West checking out their new Nintendo DS systems, which had each come with a pile of games, but Josh wasn’t with them. Had he left before the gift opening had begun? Had he taken one look at who his gift was from and tossed it in the nearest garbage can?