The Crow King's Wife (20 page)

“Good question. Can you think of another
reason he would want you away from her?” Finn asked.

Seth frowned before nodding slowly. “She is
Undrae. Hemlock is old enough to know what that is. If he can
corrupt she would be a useful tool.”

“Either way you danced to his tune nicely and
Zoey no longer has your protection.” Finn replied with a shrug and
cocked his head at Seth. “So are you still waving the white flag or
have you found a bit of motivation now?”

A look of pure frustration filled Seth’s eyes
and he shook his head at Finn. “It doesn’t matter if I did find
motivation. She won’t even give me the chance to apologize. At the
first glimpse of black feathers she hides. Zoey hates me now,
Finn.”

“Regardless of what you think I sincerely
doubt Zoey hates you, but I will let the topic rest for now and
give you time to think on it. We have a few more things to cover
and then I have something to attend to.” Finn began as he felt a
tug on his power. It was the second time in less than a breath, and
he couldn’t ignore it much longer. It was a summons, but it wasn’t
from the Divine, it was from someone much more important in his
eyes. For her to summon him it had to be important, and as much as
he wanted to save Seth he would drop anything for her. “First, you
will make amends with Jala. She didn’t do anything wrong beyond
having faith in her friend. You acted out of anger and you know it
as well as I do. Second, you will visit Sanctuary on my behalf. I
know the Aspects have a sort of truce with the Immortals to remain
out of their affairs, but that is coming to an end. I want you to
speak with Symphony on the matter. This is our world as much as
theirs and I don’t approve of what they are doing with it. There
will be a council amongst the High Lords next month and I fully
intend for the Divine to have a seat on that council.”

“They will never agree to that. The Divine
will object as much as the High Lords will.” Seth informed him with
a quick shake of his head to emphasize the point.

“Let me worry about the Aspects and you worry
about talking with Symphony. Simply present the idea to her, and
let me worry about the rest. As far as Jala goes, I expect you to
make things right with her by the end of the week. I don’t trust
anyone else enough to send them for my son. I depend on you for
that service and it makes it rather difficult when you are refusing
to be around Jala.” Finn said as he rose from his chair. He could
hear her voice calling him again and it was growing more
insistent.

“How can you still trust me after knowing I
was planning to betray you?” Seth asked in disbelief.

Finn glanced down at him and smiled. “When
you spoke at the council of Aspects you said you would only serve
me. Did you mean that?”

Seth nodded slowly and studied Finn’s
expression with confusion. “I did. I would kill whoever they chose
to replace you and take the power myself.”

“Why just me Seth?” Finn pressed.

“Because…” Seth’s voice trailed off and he
looked away. With a sigh he rubbed his jaw and looked back to Finn
grudgingly. “Because you are my friend even though I have tried to
keep from admitting that. If it had truly come down to it I don’t
know if I really could have followed through with my betrayal.”

“And there is your answer Seth. I trust you
with my son because you are my friend. You aren’t a very damn good
friend to be sure, but you are learning, and you are getting better
at it. I cut you slack because I know I’m one of the few friends
you’ve ever had. You are still learning how to treat them, and more
importantly how to trust them.” Finn winked at him before turning
for the doorway. “I will be back later. I don’t know how much
later, but this requires my attention. Do your best to find your
balls, Seth. Zoey will have need of you in the future regardless of
what you think and saving her again will be great practice for
becoming a hero for the rest of the world.”

Finn summoned his power as the doors closed
behind him and held his breath as the Darklands faded around him.
He was terrified of facing her directly, but couldn’t ignore her
voice. It would be the first time he had seen her face to face
since the day she had appeared before him as a spirit. She was the
only weakness he had ever had in life, but she was his strength
too. Every good thing he had ever done was for her, and if she
needed him now he would do whatever she asked without question. For
Jala there was no such thing as too much.

Merro

“
Are you sure you want to do this
?”
Marrow’s voice echoed through her mind and Jala nodded without
bothering to open her eyes.

Her hand was wrapped tightly around her holy
symbol and her every thought was directed to Finn. She wasn’t sure
if he would answer her summons, but her every prayer was begging
him to. From the moment she had left Shade’s room she had been
praying, and she would continue to pray until the morning could no
longer be denied. In truth she would have ignored the morning
itself to speak with Finn, but there were things she had to deal
with and couldn’t ignore, such as Zoey leaving Merro. There was no
way she could hide inside the small temple and without saying
goodbye to her friends.

“
You already suffer from his memory. Why
would you tear the wound open further by seeing him in person
again
?” Marrow paced closer to her and she reached out a hand
to pull him over to her side.

Leaning forward Jala rested her forehead
against his massive shoulder and let out a soft breath. “I have to
face my past before I can move forward Marrow. I need closure
before I can let go of him. This is the only way I can accomplish
that.” Jala explained softly. Her stomach was in knots at the
thought of seeing Finn, but after speaking with Shade and
reflecting on her own thoughts she knew this was the only way she
could ever come close to happiness again. She had to face him. No
matter how much she dreaded hearing what he might say, she needed
to hear him say it.

“If you squeeze that symbol much tighter you
are going to draw blood, Jala.” Finn’s voice came from the shadows
behind her and Jala’s throat tightened at the sound of it.

She could already feel the tears threatening
to fall and she swallowed heavily as she released the amulet and
her grip on Marrow. It took everything she had not to clutch to
Bendazzi tighter, but she forced herself to stand instead.

Turning slowly she faced him and studied him
silently. The dim candlelight played off of his black armor and she
tried to ignore how much he had changed. It wasn’t in his
appearance. He was still just as beautiful as she remembered, with
tawny hair that seemed to always be tousled and skin so bronze it
was as if he still practiced swords in full sunlight every day. The
change was all in his bearing. He didn’t seem like the man she had
known in Sanctuary anymore. He was no longer a free spirit. She
could see the weight of command on him just from how he stood, but
it suited him. Finn Sovaesh was in control of the entire Darklands
and the weight of that burden rested easily on his broad shoulders.
The only part of him that looked uncertain was his eyes, and she
knew it was only because they were locked on her. He was just as
terrified of this conversation as she was. Somehow knowing that
didn’t make it any easier to begin.

“You called?” Finn prompted with a smile that
tightened her throat further. There was nothing in the world that
could match Finn’s smile.

“I wanted to see if you would lie to my face
twice, Finn.” Jala said softly her eyes intent on his every move.
She pushed her emotions back further and forced herself to focus on
everything she needed to say to him. Now wasn’t the time to be
sentimental. It was time for truth. She hadn’t seen the lie the
first time. There had been too much confusion in her mind and her
thoughts had been too occupied with Jexon at that point, but after
examining her memories over and over she could see it clearly. It
had been too late by the time she had realized it though. Too much
had already happened that she wouldn’t take back.

Finn seemed to deflate with her words and
slouched back against the wall. His smile faded and he looked away
from her for a long moment before shaking his head slowly. “There
wouldn’t be much point to that now would there, Jala?” he met her
gaze once more and she could see the pain written in his green
eyes.

“Why would you lie to me about that? I would
have done anything for you, Finn.” Jala tried to keep the anger
from her voice, but failed miserably. Of all the questions she had
ever asked in her life the one Finn had lied on had been the most
important. Everything would be different if he had simply said
Yes Jala, I did love you
.

Finn stared at her for a long moment and
smiled sadly before sliding down the temple wall to sit on the
floor. He folded his knees before him and rested his elbows across
them. In that moment the Divine of Death was gone and it was just
Finn facing her. The bearing he had held when he arrived had
evaporated before her eyes leaving only the man she had loved more
than life itself behind to face her. “My Grandmother once told me
that when you truly loved someone you would do whatever it took to
make them happy, even if it meant they were no longer with you. I
didn’t understand her words until you stood before me, Jala, and I
knew then that all I wanted was to see you happy even if it wasn’t
with me. I was wrong about Val when I said he would treat you like
a whore in Sanctuary. I was wrong about a lot of things, but that
was probably my biggest misjudgment ever. I watched how he stood
beside you and how he was always there for you, and I realized how
much I had always underestimated him and how much better he was for
you. Valor truly listens to you, and I have a habit of truly
listening to my temper more than anything else.” Finn paused and
rubbed at his face before leaning back against the wall to stare up
at the ceiling. “Lying to you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had
to do, but I did it because I thought it was the best thing for
you. I wanted you and Legacy to be safe and happy.” He admitted
quietly.

“Do I fucking look happy to you Finn?” Jala
demanded in a ragged voice. “Everything in this god damn world is
falling apart and no matter what I try I can’t hold it together. I
can’t even hold myself together, Finn. I’m about to marry my best
friend and I can’t stop thinking about you. That isn’t fair to
Valor and I hate myself because of it! You lied to me on the most
important thing. You fucking lied to me when I needed the truth,
Finn.” She knew her voice was growing hysterical and her eyes were
so filled with tears that the entire room was blurred. “How in the
hell am I supposed to live with this, Finn? I have been trying to
force feed myself your lie for months so I don’t have to face the
truth, and it isn’t working anymore. Every time I am not occupied
the guilt hits me like a blow to the gut. I let you die, I failed
to bring you back, and I gave Valor part of my heart. I could have
saved you if you just would have told me the truth. You acted as
though you had what you wanted. I thought it was the power of being
a Divine that you loved then.” She sank to the ground facing him
and let out a ragged breath as the first of the tears coursed down
her cheeks. “Part of me wants to despise you, and the other part of
me wants to cling to you like a child.” She admitted bitterly
before meeting his eyes once more. “Why didn’t my opinion matter to
you, Finn? Why did you decide what would make me happy without
bothering to ask me?”

“What could I have given you, Jala? I am the
bloody Divine of Death now remember? I can’t stay in the Sunlit
world. I can’t be there for you every time you need me. I can’t
make you happy no matter how much I might want to,
Vezradesh
. I could have kept you beside me in the Darklands,
believe me the temptation was there, but that would have meant that
Legacy had to live without you. I couldn’t do that to him, Jala. No
matter how selfish I was in life, I couldn’t take you away from
him. He needs you so much, and so does Val. You are their
everything, just like you were for me.” Finn rubbed at his face and
shook his head miserably. “Like you still are for me.” He corrected
quietly. “I trapped myself, Jala and it wasn’t something I could
escape from. You didn’t let me die. I chose to die to free
Sanctuary from the Justicars. I had a way out, but it meant the
Barrier would remain up, and you would still be trapped. You didn’t
fail at saving me either, Jala. You gave me back life and you gave
me the opportunity to kill the Divine. If not for you I would be
serving that bitch as a demon. Instead I control things there. As
far as Valor goes, I can’t think of anyone I would rather see at
your side. At first it was like a knife in the chest, but the more
I watched him the more I saw how much he loved you and how devoted
he was to you and Legacy. It still hurts knowing it can’t be me,
but it’s for the best and I know it. We are walking different paths
now and no matter how much I might want to walk beside you, we both
know I can’t.”

“I would have devoted my life to freeing you
from that trap if I would have known, Finn.” Jala said. Her voice
quavered and she had to fight back a sob. Seeing him this close and
knowing everything was over was one of the most painful things she
had ever been forced to endure. There was no going back though,
that wasn’t why she had called him here. Facing him was her first
step to truly moving forward.

“And the world would have fallen apart around
you, Jala, while you were wasting all of your energy on me.” Finn
informed her sadly. “You don’t see the difference you are making,
but I can. If not for you Arovan and Glis would already be gone.
The Blights wouldn’t have a prayer and Symphony would have fallen
from her throne already. I am not worth the entire world, Jala, and
that’s what it would have cost to save me.” He pushed off the wall
as he fell silent and scooted closer to her. Swallowing heavily he
reached across and took her hands in his own.