The Cursed Man (6 page)

“She was walking to the building and not paying attention. A car missed her by mere inches.”

“A shame.”

“There's more. If you have a moment, I can come to your office.”

The director couldn't tell whether it was the urgency or concern in Terry's voice. But in either case, his need to meet face to face hinted at serious developments.

Before he could respond, a brisk knock at his door demanded his attention.

“Hold on,” he said to Terry, and covered the mouthpiece.  “Come in.”

Bonnie entered his office with wide eyes and a loud voice.

“She's here, and Michael is escorting her to see him.”

The director held up a pointer finger and spoke into the phone. “The door is unlocked. Help yourself inside when you get here.”

He hung up the phone and looked at Bonnie.

“That was Terry. He said he ran into her outside.”

“Her eyes are puffy and her hair was still wet; it's obvious she just woke up,” Bonnie said.

The director placed the papers that covered his desk in a neat stack.

“Her coming here,” Bonnie said, “is going to make people think it's OK to talk to him.”

“I was just wrestling with that thought myself.”

“Just take away her access to him; let her call her boss.”

“I can't.” He swiveled his chair back and forth. “I don't know if the knowledge of Alister goes that high up the food chain, and I can't risk bringing any unnecessary attention to him.”

“Damn it.” Bonnie plopped herself into the chair that was positioned in front of his desk. “What are we going to do?”

“Allow the curse to run its course.”

“But at what price?”

Bonnie's eyes focused on the director's papers and something stirred her.

“Yes,” the director said, pulling Bonnie's focus to himself. “At what price?”

“What if it doesn't come?  What if she's immune to it somehow?”

“That's not possible.” He neatened his necktie. “I think it might be waiting for more people before it will do anything.”

Bonnie chewed her fingernails, and at that moment, Terry entered the office. He was moist with sweat, and the smell of motor oil accompanied him.

“Should I come back?”

“No, have a seat,” the director said as he motioned to the empty chair next to Bonnie.

“I'm not clean,” Terry said, and he stood next to the desk. “I wanted to tell you that the doctor asked to meet with me to talk about Alister. I told her we needed to be discreet and that today at three o'clock would be a good time for us to get together.”

After all these years working with Terry, the director still felt uncomfortable looking Terry in the eyes. Staring at the one that drifted was rude, but it was hard not to focus on. He grabbed the pen off his desktop and twirled it. “I need you to be firm with her and let her know what her coming here means to us.”

“I'll make quick work of her.”

The director smiled. “That's good, especially because you're leaving for vacation tomorrow. This is your only shot. Make it count.”

“And you need to speak to Michael,” Bonnie said.

The director stopped fidgeting with the pen. “Michael?”

“He was casual about Anna's return, and I even got the feeling he was doubting.”

“I'm surprised to hear that after all he's been shown,” the director said. “Let him know I would like to see him, but make no mention as to what it is about.”

 

 

DEATH

 

 

“I think I was around the age of ten or eleven,” Alister said. He paced the floor, and his hands were clasped behind his back. “I was a regular boy that liked to get dirty, eat as much candy as possible and drink a bottle of pop for breakfast when my parents weren't looking.”

Anna sat in a metal foldout chair, and a serious look creased the skin between her eyes. She gripped a pen in her right hand, and a pad rested on her lap. She smiled as she wrote, and Alister was encouraged.

“I had a favorite pair of torn blue jeans that I wore every day, and I always respected my elders. My parents demanded it.”

Alister smiled at the memories he rarely allowed himself to visit. He made a mental note to return to them again soon.

You deserve no joy.

He snickered at the voice inside.

“I bet you were a cute kid,” Anna said.

Alister felt his cheeks redden, but the thick tangle of facial hair hid any embarrassment his complexion might have shown. He always thought he was handsome but couldn't imagine how the doctor would think so from the way he appeared now. He had long ago stopped caring how he looked to others and paid no attention to his hygiene. It didn't take him long to realize that it kept people away.

“Thank you,” Alister said. The complement was lost within an itch that surfaced on the top of his head. It reminded him how filthy and unappealing he really was.

“My grandmother Dotsy had been ill for weeks.” He tried to ignore the desire to dig his fingernails into his scalp. “The doctors didn't give her long to live, and my mother was an emotional wreck.”

“Your grandmother was your mother's mother?”

“Yes.”

“The death of any parent is difficult.”

“My father gave my mother as much support as he could, but he wasn't able to take off from work. The family relied on his income, which supported us week to week.

“Mother had a job to help lighten some of the burden on my father. This, of course, was the reason why I spent so much time at my grandmother's house.”

“So you went there every day?” Anna said.

“Monday through Friday and sometimes Saturday if my mother was able to work overtime.”

“And what would you do at your grandmother's house?”

An immediate smile took over Alister's face.

“Well, she would pick me up from school and help me with my homework. Sometimes we went to the park and even to the movies.”

“How long did this go on for?”

“Several years. But one day during my senior year in high school, I was removed from class and sent to the office. When I arrived, Mother was sitting in a chair red-eyed and fidgety. She stood when she saw me.”

Alister got goose bumps on his neck, which traveled down his back and arms.

“That was when my mother told me we would have to hurry, that my grandmother was very sick and in the hospital.”

He rubbed his arms.

“Mother tried to be strong, but her voice trembled when she spoke. I never told her that.”

“You were trying to protect her.”

“I had to; she was in enough pain and trying to be strong for me. The last thing that she needed to hear was how much she was scaring me.”

“That was a very mature thing to do at such a young age.”

“I grew up fast. Circumstances made me.”

Anna's stare was filled with understanding and sympathy.

“I always believed my grandmother was one of the strongest people on earth and nothing would be able to keep her down.”

Alister turned away.

“I'm sorry,” he said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It's hard. My father always taught me that crying doesn't accomplish anything.”

“No offense to your father,” Anna said, “but that's ridiculous, and I hope you know it.” She handed Alister a tissue. “Crying has the effect of balancing stress hormones in the body, and when emotions are bottled up, they can give you ulcers or even colitis.”

Alister dabbed his eyes dry.

“During the ride to the hospital, my mother asked if I wanted to say good-bye to my grandmother.”

“An odd question for a parent to ask their child.”

Alister nodded. “As I said before, circumstances forced me to grow up fast.”

“Maybe too fast.”

“Mother warned me about what I was going to see, and I dismissed her concerns with the wave of my hand. I broadened my shoulders and felt strong enough to handle anything because my grandmother had always told me I could.”

Alister chuckled, and Anna studied him.

“What is so funny?”

Alister tapped his temple with his pointer finger. “It's rather amusing how you think you know everything when you're so young. But as you get older, you realize how little you really know.”

“I think most adults have experienced that at one time or another,” Anna said. “It can be quite humbling.”

“Yes, it can be.” Alister looked at Anna, at the floor and back at Anna again. “As we approached my grandmother's room, the smell of the cleaning supplies mixed with the powerful odors of vomit, urine and bowel movements gagged me. The sounds of the machines working would beep, hiss and hum.” Alister chuckled. “And there I thought I was on the verge of becoming a man, but all I could do was try and shield myself from the things I saw by walking behind my mother. We moved inside my grandmother's room and settled beside her bed.

“I plugged my ears with my pointer fingers and breathed through my mouth. A sudden wave of panic consumed me, and I didn't want to see my grandmother. On the way in, I'd caught a glimpse of her and couldn't get past all the tubes that stuck out of her body. They came out of her arms and disappeared underneath the sheets only to reappear with blood or urine in them. They had put a clear mask over her mouth and nose, and it would fog with each labored breath.

“When Grandma Dotsy coughed, it was deep and hacking and it sounded painful. I wanted to run from the room and find a safe place to hide. It would be a place where sickness and pain didn't exist and where I didn't have to listen to my grandmother suffering so much.”

Alister swallowed hard.

“But I knew I couldn't go,” he said. “I had to face my fears and say good-bye to my grandmother. And that is when I learned that by being in the same room with someone you love that is dying is to watch a part of your own self die.”

“And is that the reason why you told me it is easier for you to hate than to love?”

“Only a part of the reason,” Alister said. “But there is a bigger picture here. You just have to put the pieces together that I give you, and then you should fully understand.”

Anna bobbed her head.

“I fought to move my trembling limbs and step out from behind my mother,” Alister said. “And when I did, I no longer felt guarded from what was before me. I was exposed and truly frightened. I offered my best smile, which was quickly reduced to an expressionless slit. I tried to form a thought, but I couldn't. I just stood there and stared at her with my jaw clamped shut and tears welling in my eyes. Her skin was a ghostly pale, and her eyes were sunk in their sockets and surrounded by dark purple rings.

“‘He's scared,' my grandma Dotsy said. Her voice had little strength. She reached out with a trembling hand and stroked my arm.

“‘It's all right,' Grandma Dotsy said. ‘The Lord will be here for me soon, if that is His will.' But I didn't believe her.

“My eyes shifted to a cross that hung over her bed.”  Alister shook his head and balled his fists. “My eyes then moved to a nightstand that was crowded with fresh flowers and cards of hope and prayer. I knew it all meant nothing!”

Alister let go of his tension and snickered. “Stupid people.  All of them were so weak and afraid to be alone. One card in particular caught my attention, and to this day I've never forgotten it or the feeling it gave me. It was of embossed hands wrapped with rosaries and joined together in prayer. I remember thinking what nonsense that all was. How could my grandmother worry about what the Lord's will was when she was in such pain? And how could she even rationalize her suffering as the Lord's will?

“‘No Grandma, I don't want you to leave me!' I begged.  My mother placed an arm around my shoulder and tried to pull me close. I resisted, believing if I could hold on to my grandmother, then she wouldn't be able to go. I was angry and scared at the fact that I had no say in her death. I loved her with all my being and didn't want her to go because I knew if she did, I would be alone, and she would take a part of me that could never be replaced. Not by the healing hand of time or the distractions of everyday life.

“‘I'm sorry, Alister, I've got to go,' Grandma Dotsy said. ‘You may not understand why things like this have to happen. But as you grow older, you will, Alister dear. I promise you that.

“I knew she was giving up, and I began to cry. Without strain, grandmother said, ‘There is no need for you to cry for me. I've lived a good life and had many joys.  You are my biggest, Alister. You turned out to be such a fine young man.

“I hugged her and never wanted to let go. I stomped my foot and cried, ‘I love you, Grandma Dotsy!' And suddenly, the machine next to her chirped loudly, and a high-pitched continuous beep filled the room. I looked to the monitor next to her bed, and an uninterrupted straight line streaked the screen. Then in a sudden burst, doctors and nurses charged into the room. Before I could begin to understand what was happening, I was ripped away from her and pushed out of the room with my mother.”

Alister burst into tears, and Anna remained quiet and gave him time to grieve.

 

 

“The director wants to see you in his office,” Bonnie said.

“Me?” Michael asked as he pointed to himself.

“You. I don't see anyone else around. Do you?”

Michael looked around and saw that they were indeed alone. “What does he want to see me for?”

Bonnie turned away and busied herself with a disorganized stack of papers on her desktop.

“How should I know?” she said.  “He said he wanted to see you right away.”

Michael felt his cheeks redden. He fought against the desire to say what he was thinking, knowing the words he wanted to say would only get him into trouble.