The Days of Redemption (15 page)

But now, she felt different.

She didn't know what she was going to do about that.

After stewing about her feelings for Edward most of the afternoon and evening—and enduring a great amount of teasing from Elsie—Viola was especially eager to go to Daybreak on Monday morning.

She was happy to ride for once, too. Because Lorene had ended up spending the night after church, her parents were letting Viola take the buggy to work. She'd drop her aunt off on the way.

They'd just fastened their cloaks when her mother spied her down the hall.

“Viola, is it already time for you to go to work?”

“I'm afraid so.”

Brow furrowed, her mother approached. “When you took this job, I never imagined that they'd want to work you so hard. Sometimes it feels like they need you most every day of the week.”

“They don't make me feel that way. Mrs. Ames is a mighty charitable woman.”

“Is she? Because if she was truly charitable, I would think she would hire more of you girls so you wouldn't have to work so many hours.”

“I like the work, and the paychecks, too. Most days it doesn't even feel like I'm working. It feels more like I'm simply visiting with the residents.”

“Viola, you're splitting hairs.”

“No, I'm telling you the truth.” Wearily, she glanced Lorene's way, silently begging for help.

Lorene rested a hand on her
mamm
's shoulder. “Work can be a blessing, Marie,” she murmured.

But instead of being mollified, her
mamm
continued with her questioning. “What time do you stop today?”

“Four o'clock.”

“All right. I'll look for you then.” Her mother started to bustle back to the kitchen.

“Actually, Edward Swartz is taking me out for pie after work. So I'll be home after that.”

Her mother swirled around, a glint in her eye. “My goodness! You're planning to see him again? So soon?”

“I see him almost every day when I work now. He likes to spend time with his father.”

“Well, make sure he sees you home. It will be dark by five o'clock.”

“I'll do that.”

“We'd best be on our way,” Lorene said. “Viola promised to take me on a little tour of Daybreak before I go home. I'm looking forward to seeing all her friends.” Lorene winked.

God bless Lorene! Viola knew she'd specifically used the word
friends
to support her.

Folding her arms across her chest, her mother nodded. “Well, I suppose you two should go. The day isn't getting any shorter.”

As if she hadn't been the one keeping them here!

“
Danke,
Mamm,” Viola said before shutting the door. “And thank you, Lorene,” she said when they were alone. “If you hadn't been here, I don't know if I would've gotten out of there without a dozen more questions.”

“Anytime, dear. I promise, I know what you're going through.”

Moments later, they were riding side by side in the buggy, Star easily plodding down the quiet road next to their property.

Viola held the reins easily, though part of her whimsically wondered if she even needed to do that much work. Star knew the route, and never seemed to mind the journey, either.

It probably had something to do with the slices of apples Nancy the receptionist always kept on hand for her.

“Do you still want to come inside for a few moments?”

“Of course. I didn't want to stay at your house any longer, but I am not quite ready to spend the rest of my day off by myself.”

Thinking about Lorene's problems with her lost love, and how her grandmother had ruined her happiness, Viola felt so sorry for her.

She, too, was starting to know what it felt like to fall for the wrong man. So far, the only man she'd felt any spark for was Ed, and he was going to be leaving soon.

What if she never met anyone else who struck her fancy? Was a future like Lorene's in store? Was she destined to get a small house by herself because she was being too choosy?

Her thoughts shamed her. If she never married, it meant she could always be there for Elsie. Certainly, there would be no greater gift than the opportunity to always be there for her twin?

She was still thinking about that when they greeted the receptionist, said that Star probably wouldn't mind having a few apple slices, and then made her way to see Atle.

“This is a nice place,” Lorene murmured.

“I forgot, you haven't been here before, have you?”

“Nope.” Lorene looked at everyone curiously, smiling at a few of the ladies. But then her face froze when they entered the card room.

“What is it?”

“John is here.”

It took a moment for Viola to figure out who Lorene was speaking of, but then it clicked. “
Your
John?”

“Jah.”
She stood awkwardly, looking like she might run away at any moment. But it was too late to go anywhere.

Both John and Ed were staring at them. Only Mr. Swartz was motioning them forward. He had a smile on his face, just as if they had shown up late for a party.

“Viola! You came, after all.”

“I'm right on time,” she said crisply. She paused, feeling the tension between John and Lorene as fiercely as if she were the one with the many regrets. Clearing her throat, she began the introductions. “Mr. Swartz, Edward, this is my aunt Lorene. Lorene, please meet Edward Swartz; his father, Atle, and . . .”

“This is my old friend John Miller,” Ed finished with a slight look of amusement. “But I do believe that John and Lorene already know each other.”

“We certainly know each other, don't we, Lorene?” John said. Even Viola heard the trace of sarcasm in his voice.

“We do.” Lorene stared at him for a long moment before shaking her head, clearing out the cobwebs. “Please forgive my manners. It's nice to meet you, Mr. Swartz. And nice to see you again, Ed.”

The other men added their greetings, and Ed said something, but Viola missed what he said. She couldn't help but watch Lorene and John. They kept staring at each other like the other one would disappear if they blinked.

Then John stepped forward. “Lorene, I need to apologize to you for the way I acted last week. My only excuse was that I was caught off guard, seeing you out of the blue like that.”

“I can understand that,” Lorene said. After a moment, she smiled at him.

And he smiled back.

And that's when Viola realized that her grandmother had been wrong when she'd gotten involved with Lorene's love life. She'd been foolish to try to stop what was there in front of all of them. No matter how much she had wanted to keep John and Lorene from each other, one thing was certain. Even after being apart for a decade, they'd managed to keep a connection.

John was still as perceptive as ever. That had been the first thing that Lorene had noticed about him—that he seemed to sense things deeply.

So much so, she'd soon realized she could never lie to him. Not even about the most inconsequential thing. If she said she wasn't cold when she was, he'd still find a blanket to put around her shoulders. If she said she wasn't bothered or upset about something, he had always shaken his head a bit sorrowfully. “Come now, Lorene,” he'd say. “Don'tcha think it's time you were honest with me?”

Then, before she'd realize what was happening, she would be telling him what was really wrong, even if it had something to do with him. His kindness and openness had been a revelation. In her family, appearance and orderliness had been valued above personal happiness. Until John, she hadn't realized that it was possible to be completely open with anyone.

But things between them hadn't lasted long. When her mother had found out about John's intentions, she'd been horrified, and had quickly and brutally pointed out every one of his flaws. And his family's flaws.

And then compared his weaknesses to their family's strengths. From every angle, a relationship with John had seemed full of folly. Like the worst sort of romance.

And so she'd broken things off, and had been completely honest and open with him, just in the way John had taught her. She'd told him how she felt, and what she was sure was wrong with him. She'd been careful to not leave out a single problem. Before her eyes, he'd distanced himself from her.

Told her to leave.

Only weeks later did she realize that while she'd been honest with him about her feelings, she'd been wrong. All the things that had seemed so very important at the time hadn't mattered in the long run.

Now, here she was, struggling with the same feelings that she'd had all those years ago.

“I should go,” she blurted.

Viola blinked. “Right now?”

“
Jah
. It's better if I leave, I think. ”

“May I walk you home?” John asked.

It was time to clear the air, even if it made her feel even worse than before. “Sure.”

He smiled, joined her in saying goodbye to everyone, then stood at the door, waiting for her to follow.

When they were outside, he paused. “Which way?”

“Right. I live only six blocks away.”

“When did you move out this way?”

“About four years ago.”

“Any special reason?”

There were many reasons, some too private to share. “It was time.” But in an effort to regain some of her honesty, she added, “I started to realize that I might never get married. I was tired of waiting for the perfect time to have my own home.”

“I can't believe we haven't run into each other.”

“John, I'm surprised at you. Now you're the one who's lying.” She was sure they'd both taken pains to avoid each other.

After a moment's hesitation, he spoke. “I learned that being completely honest doesn't do a man many favors.” The muscles in his throat worked. “At times, it's better to keep some things to oneself.”

Lorene knew his comment was a jab at their past. No matter how she'd tried to tell him that she'd broken up with him in order to honor her parents, he'd been sure she'd rejected him because of his lack of money and social standing. “That is true, but it's also true that sometimes truthfulness isn't believed.” They stopped at a light, waited for the traffic to pass before crossing the street. “Just three more blocks.”

“Is that what happened, Lorene?” he murmured. “You told me the truth, but I didn't believe it?”

“That is some of it.” Even now, she couldn't put all the blame on his shoulders.

“Then what did happen?”

She thought about her mother chiding her about John. About her father insisting that she wait for a better, more worthy man. Thought about how unsure she'd begun to feel about herself, how she'd started second-guessing every decision she made. “Everything.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

There was no way she'd ever be able to explain herself in only a few words. “I'd rather talk about it when we have more time.” She half winced. Ready for him to push her again, like he used to do.

But he remained silent.

They picked up their pace. Crossed another intersection, then, at least, her house was in sight. “It's just up there. On the right.”

It was a small home, built years ago, in the forties. The owner had made it into duplexes and rented them out. From the moment she'd moved in, it had felt like the right place for her. Her neighbor was a woman about her age. Mennonite. Every once in a while, they'd share a cup of coffee or a couple of cookies or dinner together. And just down the street lived Sam and Mary Beth and their three Ds.

“This is nice,” he said.

“It's been nice for me.”

“Lorene, ever since you stopped by the store, I've hardly been able to think of anything but you. Do you really think it's possible for us to start over?”

“Yes. At least, I do.”

Relief filled his eyes, echoing the way she felt. “I'd like to see you again.”

“I'd like that, too.”

“May I stop by to see you sometime soon?”

“Of course.” She wondered when that would be.

He nodded, then turned away. Without another word.

But of course, there really wasn't anything else either of them needed to say. What mattered now were actions. He needed to see that she was willing to commit to him, not be caged by her parents' narrow-mindedness. She was her own woman now and she finally knew what she wanted—John Miller in her life again.

Viola, Ed, and his father were still talking about Lorene and John leaving together the way they did, even though they'd left a half hour ago.

“I don't know either of them, but it looks like love to me,” his father quipped. “Once they saw each other, no one else seemed to exist.”

“Daed, I never knew you could sound so romantic.”

“Oh, I've had romance in my life. Your mother and I were married over thirty years.”

Ed shared a smile with Viola. “I guess he does know a thing or two about romance.”

“Much more than I,” Viola concurred. “I've never seen my aunt act like that. Usually she's terribly reserved around men.”

“That young man looked like he couldn't wait to be alone with her.”

Once again, Viola found she was charmed by Atle's frankness. “I thought the same thing,” she said hesitantly. “Ed, is your friend John usually so direct?”

“I didn't think so, but I haven't seen him in a few years.” He shrugged.

“I hope they will be okay. People can change, you know.”

Mr. Swartz chuckled softly. “Don't you worry about those two, Viola. I have a feeling that everything that's happening between them is happening for a reason. God has decided it was the right time for them to chat.”