The Days of Redemption (27 page)

No, that wasn't what he wanted. He wanted her to believe in them so much that she couldn't imagine another life but one by his side.

How did that happen?

“I see.” Mr. Cross's voice was deflated. “Ed, I don't need to tell you that people's lives are at stake. I need you to be completely on board with this plan.”

“I know. And I will be. I just need a few days to finalize my decision. And to talk to Viola.”

“I hope that's all it will take.”

Ed didn't care for the criticism he heard in his boss's voice. “Two weeks ago, I was looking forward to several months of reconnecting with my father and getting acclimated in my home. Now you are expecting me to change everything I'd planned on in a matter of days. I understand the urgency, but I'm asking you to understand that I will only be able to go if I feel it is the only right decision. If I'm torn, I won't be any good for anyone.”

“You're right, of course. But Edward, as much as I'd like to give you all the time you need, the fact of the matter is I simply cannot.”

“I understand. I promise, I'll do my best to make a decision soon.”

Mr. Cross nodded, but the friendly, celebratory mood in his vehicle turned to a strained silence.

Ed began counting the minutes until he was home.

The next morning, Ed still felt exhausted. When he arrived at Daybreak, he greeted Nancy, put his coat and hat in the cloakroom, then walked toward the back parlor. As he got closer, Ed found himself listening for his father's voice, for the laughter that seemed to be so much a part of his life here.

And sure enough, as he turned the corner and was just steps away from the parlor, he heard his father, Mr. Showalter, and Viola Keim all having another one of their silly arguments.

He faltered, rethinking his timing. Was he ready to announce his news to everyone at the same time?

But of course, it wasn't like he had a choice. Everyone was going to be curious.

Bracing himself, he walked through the doorway and kept a smile on his face as his two favorite people in the world stopped abruptly and stared at him.

“You're back,” his
daed
murmured.

“I got home last night. I was going to call you, call both of you this morning, but decided it would be better to see you in person.”

His father held out a hand. Ed clasped it, then gently enfolded his dad in his arms, hugging him tightly. “Daed, are you feeling better?”

His father patted his back, then pushed him away so they could see each other's face. “I'm fine. As I told you, it was just a cold.”

He couldn't go another moment without meeting Viola's gaze. “I'm glad you are here, too.”

She took a seat.

He could have sworn her hands were shaking, but he could have very well misjudged that. “How are you, Viola?”

“I'm well.” Scooting closer, she said, “Don't keep us in suspense, Edward. Tell us about Belize.”

He drew a deep breath, wondering where to start. “Well, first off, it is very beautiful.” Slowly, he began to talk about the island, and the hills, and the people there. He told them about the small Amish and Mennonite population of hardy farmers. They'd begun to settle in the area around 2006 and had quickly become a respected community in the area.

He talked, too, of the many poor communities who were struggling with fresh water and proper sanitation.

Both Viola and his father looked like they were hanging on every word. He couldn't tell if they were truly interested or whether they were waiting for him to tell them his decision.

He told them about the mission house, and the plans to make a more substantial compound. He told them about the heat and the flowers the women had given him with tears in their eyes, knowing that CAMA was determined to help their plight.

“Edward, it sounds like quite a trip,” his father said when he finished.

“Yes. Yes, it was.”

“Do you know when you're going back? Do you have a date?”

“Nee.”

“Mr. Cross didn't give you a date? I must say I'm surprised.”

“It's not that. I didn't tell him that my mind was made up.”

His father scowled. “But, Edward, we talked. I don't want you staying here for me.”

Looking at Viola, he murmured, “Daed, I love you. But this time I wasn't thinking about you.”

Looking from Ed to Viola, his father slowly smiled. “I see. Well, then. It seems to me that the two of you have some talking to do.”

“When do you get off work?” Ed asked, unable to look away.

“At noon.”

“Can I come see you then? Maybe we could go somewhere and talk?”

“Yes . . . that sounds
gut
.” She smiled, then with a mumble about other work to do, she scampered out of the room.

From the corner, Mr. Showalter chuckled. “I swear, Edward, watching you is better than any soap opera I've ever seen on television. You've got more going on than a band of neighborhood housewives.”

He laughed at the description. “It feels like it, for sure.”

“Do you know what you want to do, Ed?” his father asked.

“I want to make Viola happy,” he said slowly, letting his heart speak for him instead of overthinking it all. “Until right this minute, I thought that there was only Belize for me. But that isn't true. Before I came home, I couldn't imagine serving anywhere besides Nicaragua. Now God has shown me the error of that thought. If Viola isn't ready for me to leave, then I'll tell Mr. Cross no and wait for the next opportunity.”

“That sounds like a wise choice.”

“No,” Mr. Showalter said with a wry grin. “It sounds like your boy is in love. With our favorite girl! Now who would of thought this would happen?”

His
daed
stretched and a self-satisfied smile, much like a Cheshire cat, lit his face. “Maybe one of us thought this might happen.”

Crossing one foot over the opposite knee, Ed leaned back and grinned at his father. “Want to play cards?”

“I do. Are you prepared to lose?”

“I'm prepared for anything.”

In a panic, Viola practically ran to the staff lounge's phone. The moment her aunt picked up, she heaved a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness.”

“Viola? Are you all right?”

“I think so.”

“You think?”

There was nothing to do but blurt her news. “Aunt Lorene, Edward came back and he hasn't made a decision about his trip. I need your advice.”

“You sure it's my advice that you need?” Her voice sounded amused. And a bit concerned, too.

“Of course. Aunt Lorene, what should I do? Should I tell him to go to Belize without me? Should I tell him that I want him to stay? Should I tell him that it's over between us, or that I simply need more time?”

“I can't tell you what to do, of course.”

“But you must have an opinion.”

“I truly don't, Viola. It's not for me to decide what Edward should do. Just as it isn't for me to tell you what you should do with him.”

“But I'm going to see him at noon. I need to know something!”

“You need to stop trying to figure it all out ahead of time,” she said quietly. “God will let you know what to do.”

“But what about all the problems at home? What about Grandma? And Daed? And Elsie?” Panicked, she said, “If I don't look after Elsie, who will?”

“Viola, they are our family. We all love them, and they love us. But you can't live your life on the fringes of everyone else's. You have to accept that we each have our own path to follow.”

“So you think I should go with him?”

“I didn't say that. Stop and take a deep breath. Stop and let your wishes and the Lord's wishes shine through.”

Viola closed her eyes in frustration. Why was every person in her life not giving her what she wanted?

“But, Lorene, I don't want to make the wrong decision.”

“Take it from someone who did make a wrong decision many years ago. Even if you are wrong, things can change. Put down the phone, take a deep breath, and imagine your future. Imagine your life the way you want it. Then, Viola, close your eyes and find out who you see.”

Moments later, Viola put down the phone and slowly walked back to the storage room, where she was supposed to unpack new boxes of supplies and organize files.

And in the silence of the room, she did what her aunt advised. She emptied her mind of all the issues and problems that she thought she'd had to shoulder. And instead, she let her heart guide her. “
Got
, what do you see? What should I see?” she whispered.

Closing her eyes tight, she waited for a picture to appear.

But nothing happened.

“God, I'm right here, waiting. If you could, please let me know your decision.” Closing her eyes, she tried again. But yet again, nothing.

Frustrated, she felt her heartbeat quicken as frustration overtook her. Then, not knowing what else to do, she tore open a cardboard box and started unpacking a supply of paper goods. Feeling like a puppet on a string, she dug into the box and mechanically started lining up the boxes of tissue and rolls of toilet paper.

It was hard to believe she was doing such mundane things while trying to determine her future.

But then, as she was taking hold of a box of bandages and placing them in a cabinet, she felt the gentle nudging of the Lord's will. Suddenly, she was gripped by a picture of her future, and she knew without a doubt that the vision she was seeing was everything right and true.

All she'd had to do was have faith.

“Viola, it's sunny out,” Ed announced. “A perfect day for a walk.”

She turned his way and smiled. While the temperature was only in the thirties, it was an above-average day for winter in Ohio. The sky was a bright blue. Vibrant and breathtaking.

He continued, “I thought I might go home, get Gretta, and bring her back here. Would you like to walk with me?”

She nodded as she looked at him. He seemed to be holding himself a bit awkward and stiff, as if he was afraid of saying the wrong thing. She almost laughed, she knew the feeling so well.

As they walked along the sidewalk toward his home, Ed looked like he wanted to start several conversations, but was stopping himself. After a bit, he seemed to give up. Looking miserable, he bit his lip.

Viola didn't want to rush him or put words into his mouth. All her life, she'd been a bit too impulsive, a bit too outspoken. Today the Lord had shown her that she'd been wrong to push others and herself so much. So she was determined to hold her tongue.

When they got to his house, little Gretta greeted him exuberantly. Before he'd left, Ed had asked a few of the neighbors if one of them would mind looking out for his new pet. To his surprise, they'd all wanted to help care for the dog. His next-door neighbors had even volunteered to drop her off at the house about an hour ago.

Racing in a circle around him, the dog wagged her tail and barked happily. Kneeling on the wood floor, Edward looked just as pleased to see her.

Watching the two of them together, Viola felt the last bit of her worries fall away. Edward Swartz was a loving man, a giving man. A good man.

After a moment, Ed sat on the floor. Stretching his legs out in front of him, he looked up at her. “Viola, I feel so torn up inside, I've been really struggling with what to do.”

Glad he was at last sharing his thoughts, she knelt down beside him. “I've felt much the same way.”

“I love my life. I love this little dog. I want to be close to my father. But I want other things, too. What's more, I feel certain that the Lord wants to use me for mission work.”

“I understand.” Finally, she really did.

His eyes popped open, the blue of his irises making her breath catch. “Do you?” Before she could reassure him again, he rushed forward. “I suppose you think I'm the biggest jerk in the world, talking about missing the dog and not mentioning you.”

“I don't think you're a jerk. But, what are you thinking?”

He looked at her, worry and concern bright in his gaze. Then, as if he couldn't take it anymore, he spoke. “If you want to know the truth, the reason I haven't been thinking about missing you is because I want you to come with me. I want you beside me, Viola. No matter what country I'm in. I feel called to be more than myself, and I feel like I can be that person. But only if you are there with me.”

“Do you really think I can help that much?”

“I know you can help me. Viola, I know I'm asking a lot. Maybe even too much. But do you ever see a future where you could put me before the rest of your family? Where you could put an uncertain future of living in crazy conditions ahead of security and everything you've ever known?”

Just recently, she'd told him she couldn't. She'd been afraid to imagine a world where she wasn't sure of her place in it.

But now she understood she'd been selfish. Even though she'd thought she'd been putting the other members of her family first, she'd actually been only thinking about herself. She had a vague sense that even her worries about Elsie's care had stemmed from her own need to look after her sister. Never had Elsie asked to be taken care of.

“Edward, I do think I can imagine a future like the one you're describing.”

“You can?”

Oh, but there was such hope in his blue eyes! And because of that hope, she felt like she could admit what was in her heart. “Yes, because I've fallen in love with you.”

“I love you, too,” he said in a rush. “I want us to marry and for you to join me in Belize.” He paused. “I mean, as soon as you are ready.”

His excitement made her excited, too. But she still wanted to take things a bit more slowly.

“I have an idea. How about we plan for me to go with you, but in six months' time? We could write and call in the meantime. And I could even go out to visit you. But this way, I'd also have time to come to terms with all the changes that are happening. Then you could come here and we could get married, and then go out together.”