The Dead Parade (11 page)

For a split second James felt bad. This was the biggest, most important chuck of worthless crap this woman had ever seen. And now, her good times had turned bad.

He considered letting her off the hook.

But then––

“
No,” James whispered. “No fucking way.” He looked at Elmer. “If you drive away I’ll blow her fat fucking head clean off her cow-shaped body. You understand me?”

“
Yes,” Elmer said with a smile.

“
You sure?”

“
Oh yes. You’re the boss.”

“
Then wipe that stupid grin off your face before I wipe if off for you.”

The man in the car changed his expression and James looked Tina in the eye. “Move away from the car and hand me the phone.”

Tina did what she was told.

“
Well done. Now go get the shotgun shells for me… all of them. And you… stupid driver, make some room. I’m getting in the car.”

42

James sat in the back seat on the passenger’s side with his knees crammed against the seat. His feet hung down, not quite touching the floor. The nose of the shotgun sat comfortably on the passenger’s seat headrest, snuggled against the back of Tina’s head. If he pulled the trigger, her head would likely explode.

“
Turn left on Baldwin Street,” he said, and the driver followed the order. “What’s your name?”

Tina turned her head and opened her mouth.

“
I’m not talking to you!” James said, pushing the weapon forward. “I know what your name is. It’s ‘Stupid Bitch Fatso Slut’. So shut your fucking pie-hole.”

With the statement stinging her ears, Tina’s eyes watered up. Her bottom lip trembled and her shoulders began to shake. She was crying now, and James didn’t like it.

He said, “Shut up, Fatso. I mean it.”

Tina snorted back her tears and pulled herself together.

It wasn’t long before James started feeling bad. He wanted to apologize, but he couldn’t. If James showed compassion, weakness, or understanding, Tina would have James for dinner. He knew it. There were no equals in Tina’s life. There were only those she dominated, those that dominated her, and a huge pool of unknowns that fit into one slot or the other.

“
You,” James said. “Driver. What’s your name?”

“
Elmer.”

“
Is that what your friends call you?”

“
Yes.”

“
What’s your last name?”

“
Wright.”

“
Okay. Listen here, Elmer Wright. Up ahead is that big fancy condo they put up a few years ago, and I want to go there. If you live around here you know the place I’m talking about. You also know how busy that area can get. That little coffee shop turned the street upside down. Some days it’s like New York City. Point is… I want you to circle the block. Look for cops. Any questions?”

“
No.”

“
Can you do this without forcing me to blow your wife’s head off?”

“
I think so.”

“
Great. The condo, you know it?”

“
Yes.”

“
Okay. Good. Give me your wallet.”

“
Come again?”

“
Your wallet, give it to me.”

“
Why?”

“
Because I want it, that’s why.”

Debra’s condo drifted past them. Elmer reached into his back pocket, pulled his wallet free, and handed it to James. James took the wallet, opened it and quickly looked inside. Elmer had a little more than eight hundred dollars and a couple pieces of identification. Surprised by the cash, James slid the wallet into his front pocket. Payday or rent day, he thought. It had to be one or the other.

“
I suppose you want my purse?” Tina said, unimpressed.

James shook his head. “Nope.”

Tina shrugged, somewhat insulted.

James kept his eyes fixed on Elmer.

Elmer, James decided, was something of a mystery. He only spoke when spoken to and his tone never wavered. His age was hard to define. He might have been as young as thirty, or as old as fifty. His shoulders were neither broad nor wide. His face was slim. A clean looking moustache sat low on his lip. His dark hair had begun to recede, or maybe it had always sat high on his forehead, giving him a timeless look that worked very well with his demeanor.

“
What do you do for a living, Elmer?”

“
I work.”

“
Where do you work?”

As if embarrassed, Elmer nodded his head twice and said, “At a coffee shop. Not this one here; I work just off highway nine.”

“
Coopers?”

“
Yep.”

“
You the manager or something?”

“
I’m the night manager.”

“
Is that where you met Fatso?”

Elmer drove the car around a corner and said, “More or less.”

“
Let me guess. She hung out there night after night, slurping coffee and gobbling donuts.”

Elmer briefly closed his eyes. “Something like that, yes.”

“
She probably still comes by, is that right?”

“
No. Not like she did before.”

“
Oh? Why’s that?”

“
She has bingo three nights a week and we have two children.”

Tina shot Elmer a funny glance.

“
Is that right?” James asked.

“
Yes.”

“
And you’re trying to feed a family of four, plus pay her coffee and bingo habit on a single salary?”

“
Yes.”

“
Do you think that’s fair?”

Elmer paused. “No. I guess not.”

“
Then why do it?”

“
Because I have to, I suppose.”

“
Why?”

“
For the children.”

“
Do you really think you’re doing them a favor, keeping them locked in poverty and yourself locked in misery?”

“
What else can I do? If I did anything else she would take the children away from me.”

James nodded. “Yeah, this self-righteous bitch probably would. She’d probably go out of her way to make your life a living hell, too. But you know what? You’d get your life back. And it wouldn’t be long before your children loved you for it.”

“
Do you really believe that?”

James shrugged. No, he almost certainly didn’t believe it. The children would probably grow up bitter and resentful, poisoned by every negative comment and emotion Tina had subjected them to. And as the days went on, and she quietly and secretly pushed Elmer away from the family, they would almost certainly blame him, forgetting about his love, his efforts, and what lay within his heart. They would most likely become a tool of their mother’s selfishness and never learn the truth about her actions.

“
Do I turn here?” Elmer asked.

“
Yes.”

Elmer turned the corner and they drove a half block in silence. Then James asked, “Do you love her?”

“
Yes,” Elmer said without hesitation. “Of course I do.”

“
No,” James said with a soiled tone. “Don’t feed me bullshit ‘cause Fatso wants to hear it. Tell me the truth now. If you’re lying, I’ll pull the trigger. Don’t think I won’t.”

“
Okay.”

“
Do you love her? I mean, really
still
love her?”

James watched Elmer’s expression change. He looked like he was thinking. Finally, after a moment of thoughtful silence, Elmer weaved the car around another corner, and said, “I used to love her a lot. But now… things are pretty routine, as I’m sure you can understand. This is the way my life turned out, if that makes any sense to you.”

“
What made things change? Did she change?”

“
No, I did. She hasn’t changed a bit.”

“
Really.” James glanced out the window. The streets looked good; he didn’t see any police. “And how did you change?”

Again, Elmer was lost in thought. He said, “When we got together I was very lonely, and very unhappy. I was glad to have found someone. But now I think I’d be happier with this relationship behind me. I don’t wish that we had never met… I’m glad we got together. It’s just that… I wish I didn’t have Danny and Beth to think about all the time. I’ve taken all I can from our relationship, and now it seems like I’m tied to it forever.”

Tina was as cold as stone.

James said, “Danny and Beth?”

“
My son and daughter. They’re such good kids, and I love them so much. I don’t want to leave them, and I don’t want them sitting in the middle of a custody battle. Trust me, I’ve thought about all the angles. There’s no easy answer.”

“
How old are they?”

“
Beth is six. Danny is eight.”

“
Where are they now?”

“
They’re gone to summer camp for the week.”

“
When will they be back?”

“
Thursday.”

Elmer drove past an old lady standing on the curb, and around another corner. James was surprised to see Debra’s building so soon.

“
Stop here,” he said. “We’re going inside.”

43

They sat in the car waiting for the people on the sidewalk to thin out. While waiting, James said, “Okay Elmer, this is the plan. I’m going to give you a set of keys.” Still sitting in the back seat, he reached into his pocket and pulled the keys out. “Here, take them.”

Elmer opened his hand.

For the first time since James entered the car, Elmer’s eyes met his. They locked. Both men were trying to read each other. With a smirk, James dropped the ball of unorganized keys in Elmer’s hand, which Elmer immediately clinched.

“
See the biggest key?”

Elmer looked into the ball. “Yes.”

“
The one that’s twice the size of the others?”

Elmer shuffled through the set and held the appropriate key from the bundle. “This one?”

“
Yeah. That’s the one. That key opens the building’s front door. I want you to get out, leave the car door open. I want you to walk across the sidewalk to the front of the building. I want you to open the door with the big key. Once the door is open, I want you to hold it open and wait for us. Don’t try anything funny or I’ll shoot the stupid bitch in the head. Understand?”

“
Yes.”

“
Now listen Elmer, and listen well. Maybe you’re thinking that a shotgun shell in your wife’s brain is exactly what your relationship needs, is it?”

“
No. Of course not.”

“
Are you sure?”

“
Yes. I would never think that.”

“
You better not, because if you do something foolish here, Fatso won’t be the only one dead. Oh no. I’ll come hunting, and before you know it, little Danny and Beth will be dead too. Their smiling faces will be splashed against the nearest wall and you’ll be the one to blame. Not me. You. Get what I’m saying?”

“
Yes.”

“
I have your wallet and I know where you live. I’ll murder both of your children without hesitation, first the boy, then the girl, one after another. I’ll do it slow, and I’ll make sure you’re alive to know it. I’ll write ‘this is Elmer’s fault’ on the wall, in blood. Get me?”

“
If you do anything to my kids, I’ll kill you.”

James grinned. “Somehow, I doubt it.”

Tina squealed something incoherent. This prompted James to push the double barrel against her head with more force then he intended. Her neck snapped forward. It looked like it hurt.

“
OUCH!”

“
Shut up!” James said with an evil grin, really driving the boundaries of this ‘character’ he was developing.

As the bookish man and the slob woman waited for more instructions, James admired his own untapped acting skills, which were not bad for a beginner. If he were exploiting them on stage his friends would say he had a future. At least, that’s what he was thinking.

The tough-guy image of Clint Eastwood came to mind, almost making James giggle. And that’s who he was now, inside his own traumatized head: Clint fucking Eastwood.

In character, James said, “I’m ready to kill you right now, bitch… so shut your fat fucking mouth or I’ll shut it for good!”

Tina whimpered.

Then James laughed. In a way, he felt amazing. He was living the adventures of the classic anti-hero. And everyone loves the anti-hero, right? If this were a movie the public would be all over it.

It could happen, James thought.

And even if it
couldn’t
happen, James was beaming now. He failed to see that his thoughts weren’t logical. They were his defense; he couldn’t handle the situation. He had no game plan, only the odd play or two. And sooner or later (probably sooner) things would catch up with him.

Elmer watched James spinning his mental wheels and wondered if the man had snapped a cable. This notion didn’t sit well with Elmer. It made him nervous, made him think.

“
So Elmer.” James said, rubbing the side of his face with an open hand. “Are you ready for this?”