The Decadent Cookbook (9 page)

We start with some simple recipes.

12-24
EGGS

2
VERY
CLEAN
PIGS’
BLADDERS

(
ONE
SMALL,
ONE
LARGE
)

‘Break a dozen or two of eggs, separating the whites from the yolks. Tie up the yolks in a pig’s bladder, boil them hard, and take them out again. In a still larger bladder place the whites; into the midst of this put the yolk [it will float to the middle automatically]; tie up the bladder tight; and boil the whole till the white hardens. Uncover the monster egg, and serve it on a bed of spinach or other vegetable. This is a French jest in imitation of the great Madagascar eggs of the Epiornis Maximus, which would contain about twelve dozen hens’ eggs.’

(K
ETTNER’S
B
OOK
OF
THE
T
ABLE
)

1
LB
(450
G
)
FILLET
STEAK

6
OYSTERS

BUTTER

STRING

Slit the steak to make a pouch and stuff in the oysters. Sew up with string and fry for around 10 minutes each side in butter, quickly at first then more gently. Take the string out of the carpet bag, and serve in the cooking juices, garnished with watercress.

A variation, known as Fillet of Beef Prince of Wales, was created for the young Edward VII. This substitutes pâté de foie gras studded with truffles for the oysters.

A
FRESH
2-3
LB
COD

A
DRAUGHTY
PASSAGE

P
ARSLEY

H
ORSE
RADISH

Skin the cod, and remove the guts. Wash, wipe, sprinkle with salt inside and out. Leave overnight. Next day hang in an open, breezy place but away from the sun (if you can find any) and out of reach of cats. Hang for 48 hours or longer, depending how high you like your cabbie claw to be. Poach in water with parsley and scraped horseradish. Bone, flake and serve with mashed potato and egg sauce, ornamented with parsley and cayenne pepper. The connection with London taxi-drivers is fortuitous, unless you take a cab to the fishmongers to buy your cod.

This is a Turkish dish, sometimes translated as ‘crusted meatballs’ - which gives a fair idea of the texture but none at all of the possible shapes. Avoid the predictable sphere/sausage morphology, and try making giant olives, small domes, pyramids, buttocks, horses’ heads, sphinxes….

3
ONIONS,
CHOPPED
FINE

1
TABLESPOON
PINE
NUTS

1
LB
10
OZ
(750
G
)
FINELY
MINCED
LAMB
OR
BEEF

12
OZ
(300
G
)
BULGUR
WHEAT

1
EGG

1
OZ
(25
G
)
CRUSHED
WALNUTS

1
TABLESPOON
CURRANTS

25
CL
OIL

1
TEASPOON
SALT

1
TEASPOON
PEPPER

1
TEASPOON
CUMIN

½
TEASPOON
PAPRIKA

A
HANDFUL
OF
PARSLEY,
CHOPPED

Brown the onions in oil with the pine nuts. Add half the meat and cook till dry. Take the pan off the heat, and mix the contents with salt, pepper, cumin, walnuts, currants, parsley. This will be the filling for the meatballs. Now for the ‘crusted’ bit. In a separate bowl mix the bulgur and the remaining meat, then add egg, salt, pepper, paprika. Knead, adding a little water occasionally. Take an egg-sized blob of the resulting mixture, hold it in the palm of your hand and hollow it out with a finger, making the walls as thin as you can. Stuff some filling into this shell, close up and mould with wet hands to what shape you will. Repeat till pan and bowl are empty.

Simmer your creations for 5 minutes in salted water, drain well, then fry in hot oil until brown and crisp.

There are two ways of doing this. You can use a real hedgehog, or make one of your own. The first recipe comes from Bartolomeo Scappi (chef to the Grand Inquisitor).

Either skin the hedgehog or remove its bristles with hot water, then extract the innards and roast the animal on the spit or in the oven following the recipe for porcupine [see
here
]. Hedgehog is in season from April to the end of Autumn, but fattest in July and August.

1
LB
EACH
OF
MINCED
BEEF,
PORK
AND
VEAL

8
OZ
CHICKEN
LIVERS

4
RASHERS
UNSMOKED
STREAKY
BACON

8
OZ
MUSHROOMS

1
LARGE
ONION,
GRATED

10
CRUSHED
JUNIPER
BERRIES

3
CLOVES
GARLIC

1
EGG

SALT,
PEPPER