The Demon Headmaster and The Prime Minister’s Brain (4 page)

Dinah’s eyes prickled with tears.
She didn’t deserve anyone to be so good to her.
And she didn’t even
want
it any more.
Not in the wild, desperate way she had wanted it downstairs.
She couldn’t let Mum sell her chain for nothing.

‘Look—’ she began.

Mrs Hunter put a hand over her mouth.
‘Not another word.
We’re going to buy your S-7.
We really want to.
You just take care of this, in case you need it.’

Reaching into the other pocket of her cardigan, she pulled out the card that Dinah had flung at them.
The card from the Computer Director, with the octopus tentacles curling across it.
Dinah looked down and saw the swirling patterns.

Octopus -s-s-s-s!

It was no good!
She
had
to have the computer, because she
had
to go to the final in the Sentinel Tower.
She had to, she had to, she had to …

‘Oh, Mum,’ she whispered, as she felt the panic starting again, ‘I’m scared.’

‘You funny girl.’
Mrs Hunter laughed.
‘What is there to be scared of?’

She did not get an answer.
Instead Dinah, who never showed her feelings, hugged her hard and buried her face in the big, untidy cardigan.

Dinah looked round at the SPLAT meeting and took a deep breath.
‘I need help,’ she said quietly.

‘Help?
You?’
Lloyd stared at her.
He could never remember her asking for anything like that before.

She wriggled awkwardly on her chair.
‘I’m sorry, but I do.
It’s this competition.
I feel—’

‘Not the
competition
!’
Ingrid gave a loud disgusted snort and rolled over on the floor, burying her head under a cushion.
‘I don’t want to hear
anything
about the creepy Computer Director and his smelly competition.’

‘Nor do I.’
Harvey put his fingers in his ears.
‘They’ve ruined enough of the holiday already.’

Lloyd sighed.
No one would think this was supposed to be a serious meeting!
Ingrid and Harvey were behaving like three year olds; Mandy, who hated quarrelling, looked ready to burst into tears; and Dinah had turned very pale and stiff.

‘It doesn’t matter,’ she said in a small voice.
‘Forget it.
I’m sorry I spoke.’

‘Of course it matters!’
spluttered Lloyd.
‘This is supposed to be a secret society, not a playgroup.’
He nodded to Ian.
‘Help me sort these two out.’

There was a short scuffle, with grunts from Harvey and loud, dramatic shrieks from Ingrid.
Two minutes later everyone was sitting very still and solemn, staring at Dinah.

‘Right
,’ said Lloyd.
‘Now, what is it?’

Dinah looked even stiffer and more embarrassed.
‘It’s this final.
I can’t explain why—I don’t
know
why—but I’m scared of it.
There’s something wrong, something I can’t understand.
And the nearer it gets, the more nervous I feel.’

‘What a stupid problem!’
Ingrid said loudly, before anyone else had a chance to speak.
‘It’s obvious what you’ve got to do.
Just don’t go if you don’t want to.
No one can force you to.’

Dinah shook her head, looking miserable.
‘It’s not that simple.
Mum and Dad have bought me this S-7 computer just so that I can go to the final.
It was really expensive.
I can’t suddenly turn round and tell them I’ve changed my mind.
And anyway, I haven’t changed my mind.
I still want to go to the final.
Every time I look at that invitation card, I feel as though I’ll
die
if I don’t go.
But—I’m scared.
I want you all to come with me.’

For a moment there was complete silence.
Then three voices burst out at once.

‘No one would let us—’ said Lloyd.

‘Why should we want to—?’
shrieked Harvey.

‘I’m not going near the Computer Director
—’ yelled Ingrid.

Dinah looked even more miserable, and Mandy got up and put an arm round her shoulders.
‘I think we should try and go,’ she said stoutly.
‘Dinah wouldn’t have asked us unless she felt
really
upset.
And I bet you could make a plan if you tried, Lloyd.
You could say
we
all want a trip to London too.
If Dinah’s getting one.
We could go and stay with your Auntie Alice and visit the Science Museum.’

Lloyd was tempted.
He loved organizing things.
Especially huge, complicated plans.
A SPLAT trip to London!
That would really be something.
Only—Ingrid and Harvey were still looking rebellious.

Then, unexpectedly, Ian spoke.
Until then, he had been lounging back in his chair, looking slightly superior.
But now he jumped to his feet, taking them all by surprise.
‘
I
think we should try and go, as well.
We’re being pathetic.
Not like SPLAT at all.
It’s supposed to be a fighting organization.
Remember?
The Society for the Protection of our Lives Against Them.
When we started it, we were strong—the Demon Headmaster couldn’t hypnotize any of us except Dinah, and we defeated his plans.
But look at us now!
We’ve wasted all this morning, just bickering!’

He glared round in disgust, and the others looked sheepish.
Even Ingrid stopped pulling a sulky face and hung her head.
Ian snorted.

‘We need something to do.
We’ve got
feeble
!
If the Demon Headmaster came back now, he’d have us all in his power in a couple of seconds.’

He snatched the heavy, plush cloth off the table and draped it round his shoulders, so that it hung in long folds, like a teacher’s gown.
Then his fair, lazy face set into stern lines, like the face of the Demon Headmaster.

‘Funny that you should all be so sleepy,’ he crooned.
‘Look into my eyes.
Look deep, deep into my eyes.’

Ingrid giggled.
‘Don’t be thick.
You don’t look like him at all.
Even
you
aren’t ugly enough.’

‘Quiet!’
snapped Ian.
‘Do not disturb the others.
They want to go to sleep.’
His voice slowed, soothingly.
‘They’re so, so sleepy.
They can’t lift their arms or their legs.’

They all began to play up to him.
Mandy let her head slump forward.
Lloyd and Harvey flopped sideways and Ingrid gave a snore.
Even Dinah relaxed.

‘That’s better,’ crooned Ian.
‘Much more orderly.
Now, close your eyes, all of you.
Sleep, sleep, sleep …’

Obediently, they shut their eyes.
Ingrid opened one again and peeped at him, but he glared so fiercely at her that she shut it quickly.

‘Now,’ he said, in quite a different voice, sharp and precise, ‘I will give you your instructions.
Tomorrow we will plan to take over the world and run it efficiently, but today we have more important things to do.
We have to solve Dinah’s problem.
Everyone repeat after me—we will do our best to go to London with Dinah.’

‘We will do our best to go to London with Dinah,’ chorused the others.

‘And we will succeed,’ Ian said firmly.

‘And we will succeed
.’

It was not as difficult as they had expected.
On the morning of 28 August, all six members of SPLAT climbed off a train in the middle of London.
Feeling tired and thirsty in the dry, summer heat, they dragged their cases up the platform.
Dinah had the most to carry, because she had brought her S-7 as well, but it was Ingrid who complained the loudest.

‘I still don’t see
why
we’ve got to do this.
I don’t want anything to do with the Computer Director.
Why can’t we
really
go to your Auntie Alice’s, Lloyd?
And visit the Science Museum?’

‘We’ve
told
you,’ Lloyd said impatiently.
‘Six million times already.
We’re SPLAT, and we’re going with Dinah.’
He gripped the back of Grid’s neck and pushed her up the platform and through the ticket barrier.

‘I still think it’s mean to trick Auntie Alice,’ muttered Harvey.
But he followed the others to the telephones.
They all crowded round while Lloyd made the phone call.
They could not hear everything he said, but snatches of talk drifted out.

‘… terribly sorry, Auntie Alice …
enormous
bright red spots … this morning … yes, all of us … yes, all over …’

When he came away from the phone, he did not look very happy.
‘Well, that’s done,’ he said.
‘But it was horrid.
She was ever so nice and sympathetic’

‘Ah, but you
had
to do it, didn’t you?’
Ingrid said nastily.
‘So that we can be SPLAT and go with Dinah.’

She was still in a really bad temper.
When they went down the steps into the Underground station, she trailed behind, making loud, rude remarks to Harvey.
And when they got to the Underground train, she persuaded him to sit up at the far end of the carriage with her, pretending not to know the others.

‘Oh
dear
.’
Mandy frowned.
‘Do you think I ought to go and talk to them?’

‘Whatever for?’
Ian looked amazed.
‘They’re having a
lovely
time.
You know how Ingrid likes sulking.’

Mandy did not seem convinced, but she settled back in her seat anyway.
‘Oh well, they’ll probably be all right when we reach North Island.
That’s what the place is called, isn’t it, Dinah?
An island sounds wonderful.
This horrible, dusty heat is making us all crotchety.
Just think how lovely it’ll be to see a beautiful river, full of water.’

Dinah frowned.
Until then she had not joined in the conversation at all.
She had sat, very still and upright, on the edge of her seat, looking wooden because she was so nervous.
But now she said, ‘I’ve been wondering about that.
Yes, the place
is
called North Island.
I’ve got to go to the Sentinel Tower on North Island.
So there must be a river.
But I can’t work out which one.
We won’t be anywhere near the Thames.’

Lloyd waved a hand.
‘Don’t worry.
I bet there are millions of rivers in London.’

‘Perhaps this is a nice little one,’ said Mandy.
‘With reeds at the edges, and waterfalls.’

‘Oh sure,’ Ian said sarcastically.
‘And herons and salmon and otters.
All in the middle of London.’

Lloyd licked his lips.
‘I’ll settle for just the water.
It’s so
hot
in this carriage.’

They sat back, dreaming of cool, clear running water and trying to ignore the rude snorts that came from Ingrid and Harvey at the other end of the carriage.

All at once, Dinah sat up.
‘Get ready,’ she said.
‘It’s the next stop.’

‘Oi!’
Ian yelled down the carriage.
‘You two ugly mugs!
Get off at the next stop.’

‘Huh!’
Ingrid tossed her head and she and Harvey turned their backs, but at the next station they did get off, even though it was by a different door.
They charged up the steps and through the ticket barrier, ahead of the others, and Lloyd could hear them muttering as they climbed the second staircase, towards the open air.

‘… horrible computers … putrid Computer Director …’

‘… spoilt the whole summer … and …’

‘
OH!
’

They both said it together, as they reached the top of the steps.
Stopping dead, they looked from side to side, staring.
Quickly the other four raced up behind.
Their heads were full of beautiful, refreshing pictures of grass and water and ducks.

‘
OH!
’
they all said, as they reached the top.

Because there was no grass.
Not a single duck.
In fact, there was not a river in sight.

Instead, they were standing in the middle of an enormous motorway intersection.
The station looked tiny, completely surrounded by bridges and tunnels and cars.
Roads looped up above them, high in the air, supported by concrete arches.
Roads plunged down, vanishing into the darkness of underpasses.
More roads ran round them at ground level, on every side.
And the traffic sent up a steady, unbroken roar.

For a moment, they were utterly bewildered.
Then Ingrid said triumphantly, ‘You see?
It’s all a load of rubbish.
Well,
we’re
not standing about here, are we, Harvey?
We’ll go and sit on that bench over there, until they all decide to be sensible and go to Auntie Alice’s after all.’