I thought about the last time we made love. We came back to our glade and spent our last few hours with our Spirits entwined, our lips feasting on each other, and his body filling mine. Memories were always flawed. The day after he left, I remembered every kiss he gave me in perfect, beautiful detail. A week after, I could only remember the few positions we enjoyed and what it had felt like for him to fill me. Now that two months had passed, I could only clearly remember what it felt like to lie in his arms after we made love. Everything else was a blur of passion and warmth.
My family was dead. My home was gone. The only two things that mattered were Kaiyer's seed finding a fertile womb, and him returning to me. After that, we would build a life together. A life away from the Ancients, the death of my family, the crumbling of my old life. Our new life would be sweet and wonderful.
I smiled at the sky. Unlike me, my lover had been amazingly adept at the various chores around the dairy farm. Rayat often commented that having Kaiyer helping with the work was like having a team of twenty men. During our first full day here he cut enough wood for the rest of the winter from a fallen tree in the outskirts of the forest and hauled it back to the farmhouse. Then he repaired the roof of the barn, killed two deer, and harvested several baskets full of wild mushrooms, greens, and berries. In our new life together he would have no problem providing for our children. I'd just have to do my part and learn how to maintain the farmhouse.
"Jess?"
I opened my eyes and sat up with a cry. I must have fallen asleep.
"It's okay. It is only me." A large hand held onto my left shoulder. Jiure.
"You scared me!" My heart beat quickly and it didn't seem to want to calm.
"Sorry. You looked so peaceful sleeping. I didn't want to wake you." He smiled and squeezed my shoulder reassuringly.
"How did you find me?" I looked up at the sky and noticed the color of the sun. Kaiyer taught me how to read the position and it had probably been a few hours since I fell asleep.
"I followed you. I wondered where you went every day." His mouth broke into a smile that did not bring me any happiness. I returned the smile though. It was never good manners to be rude to someone, even if they had been rude to you. Or so my grandmother taught me.
"We should be getting back." I stood up and tried not to sound annoyed. Jiure's presence made me uncomfortable here.
"No. Let's spend some time here together. This is quite a charming spot you have found. I never explored the forest much. How did you find this place?" He tugged lightly on my arm in an effort to get me to sit down next to him.
"My husband found it while he hunted. We should return. Your mother will wonder where I am, and your father and sister will need your help." The lie about Kaiyer came so easily to my lips. Grandmother had sent me a sign. Soon he would come back to me and we could make it true.
"They won't worry. My chores are done for the day and you aren't very useful around the house anyway." I looked down at him to see if he was joking, but his face had lost its ugly smile. “My parents are nice people and took you and your husband in. But we've had to work harder to feed you, and there hasn't been any sort of payment. You may not see it, but it burdens them." He frowned.
"We gave you two horses, some gold, and my husband helped with many chores around the farm. We hold no debt to your parents." I shook my arm lightly and looked at his hand. I didn't want to tell him to let me go, I assumed the look would indicate my wishes.
"Maybe you have trued up with my parents. But you haven't settled with me. I have had to do extra work because of you. If a man works to feed and take care of a woman, she normally pays him back in some way." He didn't let go of my arm, if anything his grip tightened.
"I don't have any more gold, Jiure. When my husband returns he will bring some." A cold nausea crept into my stomach.
“Your husband is not coming back. He probably left you here because you are so useless as a wife.” The man got up but still held onto my arm. He stood as tall as Kaiyer and must have weighed more than two of me put together. Working with cattle and eating well added a lot of muscle to someone's frame. Jiure was almost a mountain standing over me. "But there is one thing I’m sure you are useful for. I've seen the looks you've been giving me at dinner. You want this as much as I do."
"I love my husband. I haven't been giving you looks."
"Are you calling me a liar?" His grip tightened on my arm painfully and spittle flew out of his horrid mouth. His breath was rank and his hand on my arm was sweaty and rough.
"You're hurting me, Jiure. Let me go." My voice cracked and tears came to my eyes. I was paralyzed. This was happening so fast. I was a fool and should have realized what he intended when he found me here.
He grabbed my shoulder with his other hand and pulled me toward him. I moved my face out of the way of his kiss but I still felt his slimy tongue lap at the corner of my mouth and my cheek. My stomach flipped as if I was falling.
"No! Stop!" I tried to scream, but it came out as a whimper. I struggled against his grip but I was suddenly on the ground. Jiure's left hand clamped down on my right shoulder and pushed me into the soft moss where Kaiyer and I had spent countless hours together. His right hand tried to force my legs open so he might kneel between them. My legs came to life and I was able to kick and twist them out of his way.
"Stop squirming, bitch!" he yelled down at me. My world spun when he struck me across the face. Everything went black when he hit me again. I tasted blood and tried to scream, but I couldn't get enough air into my lungs.
Kaiyer. I need you.
"You asked for this. Don't forget." He forced my legs open and I felt him pushing up my dress toward my hips. I tried to close my legs again, but his knees were in between them. Then I tried to scoot away, but his grip on my shoulder was too strong. I tried to scream, but nothing came out except for a muffled cry.
He reached down and pulled at my undergarments. My legs were spread around his knees so they wouldn't come off easily. I tried to push him away but it was pointless. He just ignored my hands and tugged hard at the thin material, ripping it away with a sickening tear and exposing my entrance to him.
Even when the Ancients had captured me, I had not felt fear like this. I was sure I would be tortured, maybe even raped, but it seemed like such a distant possibility when our destination lay many weeks’ travel to the north. I had a slim hope that because they were using me for political leverage they would need to keep me relatively unharmed, and they had. Aside from being cold and hungry I was not hurt in any way. And I had hope that Kaiyer would come for me, and he did. Just like the stories of the princess being saved by her champion.
This was different. This was much worse. No one else was going to save me. I should have known Jiure was going to do this. Now there was nothing I could do, he would violate me unless I figured out how to escape. I just didn't want him to hit me again. It hurt so badly and I couldn't stand the pain. I looked around the glade, there was no way anyone would hear me from this distant, sheltered spot, even if I could call out without him striking me again. I did not carry a weapon and I cursed myself for being so naïve as to think I did not need one. I looked nearby for something within arm’s reach I could use to stun him long enough so I could run away. I could run. I was smaller than Jiure and nowhere near as strong, but I could be faster. I had to be. My head hurt, but I was conscious and otherwise uninjured. If I could get him off of me long enough to rise, I would run. I felt around me with my free hand for a loose rock or a stick, anything to use as a weapon against this beast. My fingers grasped nothing but the soft wet moss.
Jiure fumbled with his belt ties with his right hand while he held me down with his left. His face was frantic with excitement, lust, and rage. My stomach knotted in terror, driving the air in and out of my body in a painful screech. He let go of my shoulder and kneeled upright a little more so both of his hands could access his belt.
"Don't move. If you fight, it will just hurt more." His hands moved quickly and he unfastened his belt before he got the words out of his ugly mouth. Then he set about untying the leather chords over his crotch. His fingers were thick and shaking, it would take him a few more seconds to get it undone.
I screamed as loud as I could as I pulled my knees to my chest. Then I kicked him in the groin and toppled him backward. He yelped in surprise, but I had already made it to my feet and set off running away from him. If I could get over the creek and into the forest, I could outrun him, I could escape. I would escape.
I made it two steps before I felt his hand close around my ankle. I slipped on the smooth moss, fell forward into the creek, and inhaled a mouthful of the spring water. His hand yanked on my ankle again, dragging me out of the water. I sputtered and gagged.
And cried.
And prayed to my grandmother.
And begged Kaiyer to come. To save me like he had before.
"Bitch. Stop it!" He smacked me again and I screamed in pain. Then I lost all my air when he punched me in the stomach. The pain numbed me everywhere.
"I'll fuck you from behind like a horse if you don't lie still." I hated his voice.
He yanked the front of my dress to get me on my back. It ripped open and exposed my breasts. The sight of them distracted him for a moment and he grabbed at them hungrily instead of trying to force my legs apart. I could not feel him touching me anymore. It was as if I was in someone else’s body, watching this happen. It was not me. Someone else was being groped by this beast. Someone else was about to be raped.
"Damn you're beautiful. I'm going to enjoy this." He rubbed my breasts roughly for a few more moments and then yanked my thigh to force me open. "Maybe you'll give me a baby. Eh? Then you'll be mine forever." He sneered and he grabbed onto his erection with his right hand, it wasn't hard yet, but it started to become stiffer with his quick strokes.
He punched me in the stomach.
The thought hit me harder than the actual blow.
My pain was replaced by anger. Kaiyer wasn't going to save me. He was not here. My grandmother wasn't going to save me. She was dead. My father was dead. My mother was dead. As was my brother, Nadea, Greykin. They were all gone. All I had was the gift Kaiyer gave me. I had to protect our baby.
My right hand closed around a large, heavy river rock. Nadea, Runir, and even Nanos had offered to teach me basic martial arts, but I had never been interested. Violence bored me, and Greykin was always there to protect me. My attack with the rock must have been slow, awkward, and easy to dodge. But Jiure was no warrior. He was slow, lumbering and distracted by his penis. He was not expecting it. The rock hit him in the teeth with the staccato cracking sound of ice breaking.
"Mwarrhhhhh!" he screamed and fell. I was up and at the tree line of the glade before I glanced back over my shoulder to see him getting to his feet. Blood poured between the fingers that covered his mouth. He looked at me with hatred, but I disappeared into the forest before I saw if he followed me.
Just a few hours ago this trail had comforted me. Now every branch seemed to tear at my face, every rock caused me to stumble. It had been a dozen years since I ran through the castle chasing Nadea, Runir, and Nanos. Then I didn't have breasts, I was not wearing a tattered dress, and I never forgot my shoes next to a creek. I clutched my stomach where Jiure had punched me. It was tender and bruised.
I screamed as I stepped on a thorn and felt it cut through my right foot. I took a few steps on it and cried through the pain. The barb forced me to stop, lean against a tree, and dig through the blood on the bottom of my soft feet. After what seemed like an eternity, I found the thorn and pulled it out without screaming again. Then I continued to run through the forest toward the farm house. Each step spread my blood upon the dirt and drove pain up into my leg.
"Jesssssss!" His voice bounced through the trees like wind. My legs burned, my lungs breathed fire, and my foot was slick with blood. What was I thinking? He could easily outrun me. Even if I somehow made it to the farmhouse, Jiure was larger than his father and might attack the older man. Even if they didn't come to blows, Jiure had shown what he was capable of, there was nothing the rest of his family could do to stop him. Eventually he would get me alone and violate me. I was not safe in his home. I was not safe in this village. I was only safe with Kaiyer.
"Stop runnnnnn!!" His scream sounded closer but it wasn't articulated. I hoped I had broken his jaw with the rock.
I screamed in fear and pain as the toe of my left foot stubbed against a big rock. Then I fell face first into the moldy leaves and dirt of the trail. Fortunately, my arms had been covering my breasts, so they helped cushion the impact. I tried to push myself to my feet, but my foot was numb. I couldn't see through my tears but it didn't look like it bled. Pain shot up through my calf and into my hip, but I could limp with a skipping speed.
"Jesss! Stoppppp!" he sounded close behind me but I didn't want to turn toward the voice. I would probably fall again and then he would catch me. The trees were closing in on me. My dress snagged on one and half of the bottom tore away, leaving me with only a small piece of cloth to cover my whole body.