The Devil on Horseback (6 page)

Thank God,” said Joel, ‘that His Majesty’s guards caught her arm in time. The King behaved in a manner one expects of him. His concern was for the poor woman.

“I am not hurt,” he cried.

“See to her.” He said afterwards that she was mad and that she was therefore not responsible for her actions. “

“I have heard it said,” my mother commented, ‘that His Majesty would naturally have pity on one so afflicted. “

“Oh, you have been hearing rumours about the state of his own health, I’ll swear,” said Joel.

“You would know,” replied my mother, ‘whether there is any truth in them. “

“I know of the rumours but the truth of them is another matter.”

Do you think the woman was acting by herself or was she the member of some gang intending to harm the King? ” I asked.

“It is almost certain to be the former.”

Joel sipped his wine, and complimenting my mother on it and her wine cakes, began to tell us anecdotes about the Court which enthralled us who were so far removed from it.

It was a pleasant visit and when he had gone my mother glowed with pride and I heard her singing “Heart of Oak’ in her endearing out-of-tune voice, and as she always did this when she was particularly pleased with life, I knew what was in her mind.

My birthday was in September1 was nineteen and when I went out to our little lean-to which served as a stable in order to saddle Jenny, I saw a lovely chestnut mare waiting there for me.

I stared in astonishment. Then I heard a movement behind me and, turning, saw my mother. I had never seen her look quite so happy since my father’s death.

“Well,” she said, ‘now when you go riding with Joel Derringham, you’ll look just right. “

I threw myself into her arms and we hugged each other. There were tears in her eyes when she released me.

“How could you possibly afford it?” I asked.

“Ah!” She nodded sagely.

“That’s not the thing to say when you get a present.”

Then the truth dawned on me.

“The dower!” I cried, appalled. My mother had saved, as she said, ‘for a rainy day,” and the money was kept in the old Tudor dower chest which had been in the family for years. We always referred to the savings as the dower.

“Well, I thought, a horse in the stable was better than a few guineas tied up in a bag. You haven’t finished yet. Come upstairs.”

Proudly she took me to her bedroom and there, laid out on the bed, was a complete riding outfit dark blue skirt and jacket and a tall hat of the same shade.

I couldn’t wait to try on everything and of course it fitted perfectly.

“It’s becoming,” she murmured.

“Your t&ther would have been so proud.

Now you look as though you really do belong . “

“Belong! To whom?”

“You look every bit as grand as the guests up at the Manor.”

I felt a twinge of apprehension. I understood absolutely how her thoughts were moving. My friendship with Joel Derringham had robbed her of some of her good sense. She had really made up her mind that he was going to marry me, and it was for this reason that she was ready to take money from the dower chest which had been almost sacred to her for as long as I could remember. I could imagine her convincing herself that the horse and the outfit were no extravagance. They were proclaiming to the world how suited her daughter was to step up into the world of the nobility.

I said nothing, but the joy in my new horse and clothes was considerably subdued.

When I rode out she was watching me from the top window and I felt a great surge of tenderness for her and with it was the almost certainty that she was going to be disappointed.

For a few weeks life went on as before. October came. The school was less full than that time last year. My mother was always anxious when pupils disappeared. Sybil and Maria were still coming, of course, with Margot, but it was a foregone conclusion that Margot would one day return to her parents, and Sybil and Maria would probably go with her for they would attend a finishing school near Paris.

I could not help enjoying my new mare. Poor Jenny was relieved to be rid of me and the mare, whom I had called Dower, demanded a great deal of exercise, so I rode often. And Joel was always there to meet me. We had long rides on Saturdays and Sundays when there was no school.

We talked of politics, the stars, the countryside and any subject, all of which he seemed to know a good deal about. There was a quiet enthusiasm about him which I found en;

clearing, but the fact was that while I liked him very much I found no great exhilaration in his company. I should never have noticed this if it had not been for my encounter with the Comte. Even after all this time the memory of his kisses made me shudder. I had started to dream about him and these dreams could be rather frightening, though when I awoke from them it was always with regret and I wished myself back in them. I would be in embarrassing situations and always the Comte was there, watching me enigmatically so that I could never be sure what he was going to do.

It was all very foolish and ridiculous that a serious-minded young woman of my age should be so naive. I made excuses for myself. Mine had been a sheltered life. I had never been , out in the world.

Sometimes I felt my mother shared my naivete. It must have been so if she thought Joel Derringham was going to marry me.

I was so absorbed in my own affairs that I only vaguely noticed the change in Margot. She was less exuberant. She . was even on some occasions subdued. That she was a creature :

of moods I had always known, but it had never been so apparent as it was now. There ^fere times when she would be almost hysterically gay and others when she was nearly morbid.

She was inattentive at lessons and I waited until we were ;

alone to reprove her. ;

“English verbs!” she cried, throwing up her hands. T find i them so boring. Who cares whether I speak English as you do or as I do . as long as I am understood.

” I “

I care,” I reminded her.

“My mother cares and your family ;

care. “

“They don’t. They won’t know the difference in any case.”

“Your father has allowed you to stay here because he is pleased with your progress.” ;

42 i

“He has allowed me to stay because they want me out of the way.”

“I do not believe such nonsense.”

“Minelle, you are … what is it called … a hypocrite? You pretend to be so good. You learned all your verbs, I don’t doubt … and twice as quickly as anyone else. And now you go riding on your new horse .. in your elegant clothes … and who is waiting in the woods?

Tell me that. “

I asked you here that we might talk seriously, Margot. “

“What is more serious than this, eh? Joel likes you, Minelle. He likes you very much. I am glad because … shall I tell you something?

They meant him for me. Oh, that startles you, yes? My father and Sir John have talked of it. I know because I listened . at keyholes. Oh, very naughty! My father would like me to be settled in England. He thinks France is not very safe for a time. So if I married Joel . who will give me riches . and title . that should be considered. Of course he is not of such an ancient family as ours . but we are prepared to forget that. Now you come along with your new horse, your elegant riding clothes, and Joel does not seem to see me.

He sees only you. “

“I never heard anyone talk such nonsense as you do when you are in the mood.”

“It all began, did it not, when you came to tea. You met him on the lawn by the sun-dial. You looked quite handsome standing there. The sun makes your hair look beautiful, I thought. So did he. Are you in love with him, Minelle?”

“Margot, I do want you to pay more attention to your lessons.”

“And I want you to pay attention to me. But you are doing so. You have grown quite pink thinking of Joel Derringham. You can confide in me because you know …”

“There is nothing to confide. Now Margot, you must work harder at your English, otherwise there is no point in your being here. You might as well be in your father’s chateau.”

“I am not like you, Minelle. I do not pretend.”

“We are not discussing our respective characters but the need for work.”

“Oh, Minelle, you are the most maddening creature! I wonder Joel likes you. I do really.”

“Who said he does?”

“I do. Marie does, so does Sybil. And I reckon everyone says so. You can’t ride out as often as you do with a young man without people’s noticing. And they draw their conclusions.”

Then that is extremely impertinent of them. “

“They won’t let him marry you, Minelle.”

I felt cold with fear and it was not of Joel or myself that I was thinking, but of my mother.

“It’s funny, really …”

She began to laugh. It was one of those occasions when she alarmed me.

Her laughter grew uncontrollable and when I took her by the shoulders she started to cry. She leaned against me and clung to me, her slender body shaking with sobs.

“Margot, Margot,” I cried.

“What’s wrong?”

But I could get no sense out of her.

We had snow in November. It was one of the coldest in memory. Maria and Sybil could not come down from the ^ Manor to the schoolhouse and we had very small classes. We were hard put to it to keep the house warm, and although we kept log fires burning in every room, the bitter east wind seemed to penetrate every crack. My mother caught what she called ‘one of her colds’. She suffered from them every winter so at first we took little notice of this one. But it persisted and I made her stay in bed while I kept the school going. So many pupils stayed away that it was not as difficult as it might have been.

She started to cough in the night and as she grew worse I thought I should call a doctor, but she wouldn’t hear of it. It would cost too much, she said.

“But it is necessary,” I said.

“There’s the dower.”

She shook her head. So I delayed for several days but when she grew feverish and delirious I asked the doctor to come. She had congestion of the lungs, he said.

This was a serious illness-by no means one of the winter colds. I shut the school and gave myself up to nursing her.

These were some of the most unhappy days I had yet known. To see her lying there, propped up with pillows, her skin hot and dry, her eyes glazed, watching me with those too-bright eyes, filled me with misery.

The terrible realization had come to me that her chances of recovery were not great.

“Dearest Mama,” I cried, ‘tell me what to do. I will do anything .

anything . if only you will get better. “

“Is that you, Minella?” she whispered. I knelt by the bed and took her hand.

“I am here, my dearest. I have not left you since you have been ill. I shall always be with you …”

“Minella, I am going to your father. I dreamed of him last night. He was standing at the prow of his ship and holding out his hands to me.

I said to him, “I’m coming to you.” Then he smiled and beckoned. I said: “I have to leave our little girl behind,” and he answered: “She will be well taken care of. You know she will.” Then a great peace came to me and I knew all would come right. “

“Nothing can be right if you are not here.”

“Oh yes, my love. You have your life. He is a good man. I have dreamed of it often …” Her voice was scarcely audible.

“He’s kind … like his father … He’ll be good to you. And you’ll fit. Never doubt it. You’re as good as any of them. No, better … Remember that, my child …”

“Oh my darling, I only want you to get well. Nothing else matters.”

She shook her head.

“The time comes for us all, Minella. Mine is now.

But I can go . happy . because he’s there. “

“Listen,” I insisted.

“You’re going to get well. We’ll close the school for a month. We’ll go away together … just the two of us.

We’ll raid the dower chest. “

Her lips twitched. She shook her head.

“Well spent,” she murmured.

“It was money well spent.”

“Don’t talk, dearest. Save your breath.”

She nodded and smiled at me with such a wealth of love in her eyes that I could scarcely restrain my tears.

She closed her eyes and after a while began to murmur under her breath.

I leaned forward to listen.

“Worthwhile,” she whispered.

“My girl .. why not? … she’s as good as any of them … fitting that she should take her place among them. What I always wanted. Like an answer to a prayer … Thank you, God. I can go happy now …”

I sat by the bed, understanding full well her thoughts, which were as they had been since my father’s death all for me. She was dying. I knew that, and I could find no comfort in de45

ceiving myself. But she was happy because she believed that Joel Derringham was in love with me and would ask me to marry him.

Oh beloved, foolish mother! How unworldly she was! Even I, who had lived my sheltered life, was more aware of how the world acted than she was. Or perhaps she was blinded by love. She saw her daughter as a swan among geese . demanding to be singled out for attention.

There was only one thing for which I could be thankful. She died happy believing that my future was secure. She was buried in Derringham churchyard on a bitter December day-two weeks before Christmas. Standing in the cold wind, listening to the clods of earth falling on her coffin, I was completely overcome by my desolation. To represent him. Sir John had sent his butler a very dignified man held in great esteem by all those who worked for the Derringhams. Mrs. Callan, the housekeeper, also came. There were one or two other mourners from the estate, but I was aware of little but my grief.

I saw Joel as we left the churchyard. He was standing by ‘, the gate, his hat in his hand. He did not speak. He just took my hand and held it for a moment. I withdrew it. I could not , bear to talk to anyone.

All I wanted was to be alone.

The schoolhouse was deathly quiet. I could still smell the oak coffin which had stood on trestles in our sitting-room until that morning.

The room seemed empty now. There was nothing but emptiness everywhere in the house, and in my heart no less, I went to my bedroom and lay on my bed and thought of :