The Devil's Metal (35 page)

Mel didn’t lose her enthusiasm during the
show either. Hybrid had never played San Antonio before and they
weren’t sure how western Texas was going to take them, but they
actually pulled it off. There was a definite drop in numbers
compared to the other shows on the Molten Universe tour, but it was
a lot better than New Orleans and that’s all the band needed for
them to play with a little more verve.

Being with Mel and seeing the show through
her eyes gave me a new appreciation for the music all over again.
With everything going on, it was hard to see Hybrid the way
everyone else saw them. Just an awesome metal band who made awesome
music. I needed that step away from being Dawn Emerson. I needed to
know what the band was capable of doing to other people, and
looking at Mel as she stood beside me on the side stage, moving her
ass to the music and grinning like a fool, I remembered that Hybrid
still knew how to rock.

Then the fact that this was going to be
their last tour, their last album, hit me like a ton of bricks.
There was nothing as heartbreaking like one of your favorite bands
breaking up. It’s like they are breaking up with you. Those bands,
you plan your life around them. You plan vacations around concert
dates. You save babysitting money for records. You live for those
days when Creem magazine arrives in your dusty mailbox and you
frantically flip through it for any information on your favorites.
The bands, the musicians that you love, they love you back. And
when they quit, when they fall apart, when they die—they ruin that
future you thought they’d always be a part of.

My eyes were filling with tears again near
the end of the show. Understanding, or at least anticipating, Mel
put her arm around me and hugged me. Even Jacob shot me a sad smile
which made my heart break even more. He was no longer putting on a
brave face. This was really going to happen. This band was really
over.

When the show was over and everyone was
relocating to the lounge, I pulled Jacob aside and told Mel to go
on through and drink all the band’s booze.

“You know we’re having some budget cutbacks,
Rusty,” Jacob remarked as he watched Mel sashay backstage. “Booze
ain’t cheap.”

“Look, Jacob. I think I’m going to leave
with Mel on her flight out of here.”

He didn’t show any expression nor did he say
anything for a few beats, he just blinked. “Dawn…”

“You know I’d do anything for this band.
Tonight, I mean, I know it. I love them. Warts and all. I love
them, all of them, almost. But…I have a dad at home. He’s been
having a rough time, well, forever, and he’s finally getting
better. I have a brother with Tourette’s Syndrome that I look
after. They need me. They need me to be alive. My mother killed
herself when I was young and I’ve been the mom ever since.”

Jacob nodded and stroked his chin, letting
me continue.

“I even have a horse. I have Mel, too. I
have a future. I have things I don’t want to lose and people who
don’t want to lose me. I know you said it’s too late but I just
can’t accept that. As much as it fucking stabs me in the gut to
leave the tour, I have to. I won’t write the article in the end.
It’s not worth it.”

He was silent, golden eyes searching the
ceiling of the venue, lost in thought. Finally he lowered his head
and smiled weakly. “I’m sorry, Dawn. You can’t leave.”

“But why not?” I stamped my foot like a
child. “What could happen if I did? Who is going to stop me,
you?”

“No, not me,” he said calmly. “I would love
to see you leave, Rusty. Like I said before, I like you. But that’s
not how this works. This is out of human hands now. Your fate has
been decided.”

“So tell me. Give me one good example of
what’s going to happen to me.”

“If you fly out with Mel tomorrow, your
whole plane will go down.”

I was startled. “But…then I’d be dead. Who
would write the story?”

“They have ways of working that out.”

“But if they do—”

“They are demons, Rusty. Demons. They want
you dead and dragged to Hell above all else. They want all of us
dead but they can only do what they can do. The contract will be
fulfilled.”

“So why don’t they kill me now? Get it over
with and get some other writer.”

He let out a dry, sad laugh. “Because what
is the fun in that? They are like cats with a mouse, batting it
around. Just because you don’t see them right now, doesn’t mean
they aren’t out there. They know what they’re doing.”

“But the code…”

“Yes, the code. But we are still at their
mercy. Why do you think I’m here, for Christ’s sake? I make things
fair. If I wasn’t around, I don’t think there would even be a
Hybrid anymore.”

I grabbed onto Jacob’s arm. “So help me.
Help me escape.”

He shook his head vigorously. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I just can’t. Look, I’m sorry, I really am.
All I can say is the longer you stick around me, the longer I will
do my best to keep you and everyone else in this band alive. But
the minute you walk away, I can’t help you. My duties are to Sage
first, then to you. He has to come first. This is his contract.
Yours will come later.”

I gave him a funny look. “What do you mean
mine will come later?”

He smiled and twirled around his gold rings.
“Dawn Emerson. Stay with me. Stay with Sage. Why do you think I
went out of my way to choose you?”

“You said because it should have been a fan
to write the story.”

“I chose you partly because I thought maybe
a girl like you would give Sage something to live for when
everything is taken from him. You’re hope. So, write about the band
and live your destiny. I promise we will do everything to protect
you. But the minute you leave, I can’t help. And you invite the
danger of destroying everyone you love and know. I’m sorry, love.
But you’re stuck with us.”

My heart thumped loudly in my chest, like it
was just remembering to beat.

I swallowed hard. “But what do I tell Mel?
She won’t leave without me. And she can’t stay here.”

“I’m sure you’ll know the right things to
say.” He patted me on the shoulder and disappeared into the
darkness.

***

After Jacob left, I spent a few minutes on
the stage staring out at the empty venue, ignoring the roadies who
were packing up behind me. I wondered what they’d do after Hybrid
was no more. I wondered if they’d get other jobs in the industry. I
wondered if they’d care if the band ceased to exist.

I wondered exactly how the band would end.
Would there be a massive fight? Would Sage pick it with Robbie,
destroying his relationship with him for the sake of destiny? Or
would it end in something worse than that? Would the next stage
collapse consume us all? Would it end in flames? That last thought
struck a familiar chord in me and I remembered seeing that man back
in Ellensburg, Ted with the beige Bug and his arm in a sling. He
told me I wouldn’t be able to save Sage and that it would all end
in flames. I remembered seeing a white-haired girl in the backseat
and I wondered how long the chess pieces had been set in motion and
where my spot on the board was. Where was Dawn going to be moved
next?

I sighed, hating myself for what I had to do
next. Just like Sage might have to do with Robbie, I was going to
have to sacrifice my relationship with Mel in order to save
her.

I took in the view from the stage one last
time and headed back into the backstage area. I had left Mel with
Sage, knowing she’d be safe, but when I walked into the dressing
room where everyone was hanging out and drinking like they hadn’t a
care in the world, The Guess Who’s “No Time” aptly playing from the
speakers, he was nowhere to be seen.

And Mel was talking to Graham. Scratch that,
she was sitting beside him on the couch hanging on his every
word.

I marched right over to her and stood in
front of her until she finally looked up.

“Hey, Dawn,” she said brightly.

Graham stared straight at me and sang in a
high falsetto along with the song. “No time for the killing floor,
there’s no time left for you, no time left for you.”

I shot him the nastiest stink eye that I
could and grabbed Mel by her hands. “I need to speak with you.”

I pulled her up and started to drag her
towards the door.

“Ouch, Dawn, chill out,” she cried, but I
didn’t stop until we were outside the dressing room.

“What the hell are you doing with him?” I
sneered.

“What? He’s harmless.”

“Mel! He’s a fucking demon, he is the
opposite of harmless!”

She rolled her eyes.

“See!” I exclaimed, pointing at her
viciously. “You don’t believe me. I knew it.”

“I do believe you,” she argued. “But it’s
harmless to just talk to him. What’s he going to do to me in
there?”

“He can do plenty. He can get in your head.
Look at what happened to poor Noelle.”

She folded her arms and gave me a twisted
smile. “I just got here, first of all, and Noelle was weak to begin
with.”

“You didn’t even know her!”

“And you did? Come on, Dawn. Anyway, what am
I supposed to say to Graham? Don’t talk to me, I know you’re a
demon? You think that would be the better solution?”

I sucked in a deep breath and let it out
slowly, trying to calm my aching heart. It didn’t really matter
about Graham. There would be no more of it.

“Look, Mel, I’ve decided I’m not going with
you back home. I’m staying here.”

She frowned. “No, you’re not. You’re getting
the fuck out of here.”

“I don’t want to.”

She sighed and let her gaze drop to the
ground. “Man, I get it. You do love him. I know it. You don’t want
to leave him. I really get it, but you just have to…get over it. If
everything works out later, maybe you can reconnect or something. I
don’t know. But I do know you’re not staying with this band
anymore.”

I crossed my arms and said in my calmest
voice, “I am not going with you, Mel. I have made up my mind.”

She glared at me. “Dawn…why would you stay
after everything you’ve told me? You’re coming with me or I’m
staying here with you.”

“I don’t
want
to go with
you,
Mel. And you are definitely not staying here. You can go back to
your sad life in Ellensburg if that makes you happy. These are my
people. I belong with them. Not some small-town hick like you.”

Mel’s face fell as I speared her with my
words.

“This isn’t you talking,” she whispered.

I laughed richly. “This is me. This is the
real me. This is the me I was supposed to be. Did you seriously
think I’d come back to Ellensburg after all of this? I’m somebody
now. You’re still a nobody in a nobody town. You think I’d go back
to that shithole with the likes of you? My god, you’re so fucking
backwards, Melanie.”

She was so startled and so hurt. Her face
contorted angrily. Anger was always Mel’s first line of defense
when she was hurting inside. And I had known
exactly
what to
say to hurt her the most.

“You’re being a bitch,” she spat at me. “A
fucking mean bitch.”

Sage chose that time to walk toward the
dressing room. He stopped before going in, looking at the both of
us, perplexed.

Mel fixed her glare on him for a second
before turning the weapon on me and looking me up and down. She was
about to get nasty. Real nasty.

“A bitch and a major slut.”

I rolled my eyes, pretending I wasn’t
bleeding inside.

“Oh,” she continued with false surprise.
“You don’t like being called a slut, do you? A whore. Now the
tables are turned, aren’t they Miss Always Judgmental? Well, that’s
what you are now. You’ve become all those girls you look down on.
Just some stupid slut who thinks she’s better than me because she
spread her legs for some mid-level rock star who’s probably slept
with everyone she’s condemned.”

Sage took a few cautious steps toward us,
hands out, brows furrowed. “Hey, what is going on here?”

“Oh fuck you,” Mel said. Then she looked at
me again. “And fuck you, too. I knew it was a mistake to come out
here. I knew you’d probably changed and gotten a big head. Glad to
see I was right. You can stay here with your lame ass honky band
and go straight to hell for all I care. You think you’re better
than me, after everything I’ve done for you? You don’t even deserve
my worry.”

And at that, Mel spun around on her heel and
marched off toward the exit. The minute she was gone, I fell to my
knees in pain. Swirling, stabbing pain that ripped me apart. But
the tears wouldn’t come. There was nothing in me left.

Sage crouched down beside me, peering at me
with concern. He put his hand on my shoulder but I shrugged him
off.

“What happened?” he asked softly.

“Just go away,” I muttered, closing my
eyes.

“Angel, I—” he started.

“Angel!” I laughed bitterly at his term of
endearment. “Get the fuck away from me.”

“Dawn.”

“Go!” I screamed at him, my eyes burning.
“This is all your fucking fault! You did this. You did all of
this!”

Now Sage’s face crumbled slightly, his eyes
awash in regret. “I was so young.”

“You were an idiot. Still are.”

I don’t know why I was being so vicious to
Sage. I guess I figured if I was going to turn into a complete
bitch, I might as well sever all the relationships I had. I was
probably burning away the bridges that tied Sage to me as his last
point of hope. But I didn’t care. I just didn’t care anymore.

When he didn’t move and didn’t say anything,
I glared at him, pushing and pushing.

“Your stupid, selfish mistake has cost you
everything good in your life. It’s cost the lives of innocent
people. How does that make you feel, Sage, knowing you’ve destroyed
so much in order to have so little?” I breathed heavily, waiting
nervously for him to strike out at me in some way.