The Disaster Diaries: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Apocalypse (15 page)

‘Why?’ I sobbed. ‘I thought I was special. I thought
this all had some important meaning. I truly believed the end of the world
would come.’ I started to laugh, as I looked down upon the revolver within my
hand. ‘I understand. The end of the world is here. The moment I had dreamed
about all my life has arrived. I really thought something grand would happen. I
thought a new chapter in the Earth’s history would be written upon this day,
but it isn’t anything so special. This isn’t a global apocalypse. This is my
own personal apocalypse. My world has ended.’

I tossed aside the bottle of wine and climbed onto
the bed. I carefully scooped Lucy up within one arm and sat with my back
pressed up against the headboard. I remember picking her up as a puppy. She had
been so brave and friendly. She had been the only puppy in the litter that came
up and started to play with me. I had not been the one to pick her. She had
picked me. I lifted Lucy up and kissed her upon the top of the head.

‘We are going to a better place now,’ I told her.
‘Granddad and Grandma will be waiting for us. Everyone will be waiting for us.
And you will get to play with my baby. She will be waiting for us on the other
side... my baby.’ I felt like laughing. That’s right. She will be waiting for
us. She will be alive on the other side. ‘I will finally be able to see my
baby? I will finally be able to see my baby!’

I took in a long deep breath of air.

I could hear something crashing against the front
door of the house.

The police were coming in.

I exhaled a slow deep breath through my nose and
lifted the revolver to my head. I pressed the barrel against my right temple
and closed my eyes. This was it. This is what I have been waiting for all my
life. My own personal apocalypse was going to happen. Voices yelled up through
the house. My breathing grew short and sharp. I hugged Lucy close, as I
clenched my teeth. The image of my baby appeared within my mind’s eye. I tried
to picture what she may look like. Would she be happy to see me? Would she
reach up with her little arms and smile upon her father? I rolled the word
“father” around in my mind. I liked the sound of that. I was going to be a
Daddy. I was going to be a Daddy to the most beautiful baby in the whole wide world.
I was finally going to see my child.

I squeezed the trigger.

***

The
End

Books
by John Sheridan

***

The
Lake of Love

Dance
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