The Drowned Boy (13 page)

“How long did you try for?” he asked.

“Oh, I can’t remember. I screamed for Nicolai to come. He panicked as well and was down by the pond a few seconds later. And he tried to revive him too, and I was so sure that he’d manage, because Nicolai is so good at all kinds of things. But no matter what he did, he couldn’t get Tommy’s heart started. When the paramedics came, they took over. They’re obviously much better at it than us, but they didn’t manage either, even though they seemed to try forever. When they said there was no point in continuing, I just about fainted. They gave up right in front of my eyes. It’s over, they said, and one of the men was crying like a baby. We were both crying and Nicolai was in shock.”

At this point in her account, she changed position in her chair, as if she wanted to emphasize what she was saying.

“And I couldn’t understand why the police said we had to go down to the station. It was an accident,” she said conclusively.

She had said all she wanted to say. Sejer jotted something down, the thoughts racing through his mind, a combination of sorrow and sympathy. He felt no joy in breaking down her story. After all, she was practically a child herself, and he was a sympathetic person. But there were still so many questions to be answered. He was always fascinated by this moment, the moment when the mask fell away. Thanks to a combination of science, intuition, and sense.

“Carmen,” he said calmly, “why are you lying?”

“But I’m not lying!” she cried. “Leave me alone; I can’t take being blamed anymore. I did what I could, but it was too late!”

Sejer let her sit in silence for a while, her outburst vibrating in the air. Meanwhile he prepared his next move.

“Carmen,” he said quietly. “It didn’t happen the way you’ve told me. You have the opportunity now to tell the truth. I’m still waiting for the only possible explanation. Tommy has been examined by a pathologist and a number of tests were done. The cause of death was drowning; we have established that. But he didn’t drown in the pond. And that is no unfounded claim. It is a documented fact.”

“What?” she said uncertainly. “What do you mean? I don’t understand what you’re going on about. I’ve told you what happened!”

She stared wide-eyed at the Dictaphone that lay between them on the table. The red eye was still blinking, documenting her every breath.

“Don’t say things like that; it makes me nervous,” she added.

“Tommy had water in his lungs,” Sejer said. “But not the water from Damtjern. The water in Tommy’s lungs contained soap.”

There. He’d said it. He made a brief note and then looked at her across the table.

“So how do you explain that? Why are you lying?”

The silence that followed was so absolute you could hear the traffic on the street outside, despite the room being sound insulated. So, not the muddy water from Damtjern, but soapy water. That could not be explained away. Everything seemed to stop. He could see that she was searching for words but could not find them.

“What actually happened, Carmen? Did he drown in the bathtub? Because you know, you won’t get away with this now that we’ve found the evidence. I want the truth about what happened, my dear, even if we have to sit here until Christmas.”

“Am I suspected of something?” she asked lamely. “You might as well tell me like it is. If I’m suspected of something, then I’ve got the right to a lawyer. I’m not going to answer any more stupid questions!” she said, bursting out with a sob. Her tears were streaming steadily and evenly. A deep red flushed her cheeks.

“Of course you’ll get a lawyer. But the fact is that you’ve given a false statement. And that is serious. That is where you stand at the moment. But you have a chance now to tell the truth once and for all. Tell me what actually happened. I’m sitting here, listening.”

Carmen Zita continued to weep bitter tears at the injustice. “OK, I’ll tell you, but you have to believe me then,” she pleaded. “You see, I found him in the bathtub. And it was already too late.”

She leaned back in the chair, crossed her arms, and stared at him in anticipation. Sejer listened and made notes. Found in the bathtub, OK, that was possible. The incident might still be an accident. In which case she could perhaps be tried for negligence, and she was presumably aware of this.

“So, you’d put him in a bath of warm, soapy water. Do you use the big bathtub, or do you have a special baby one?”

“Yes,” she said, “he was in the big bathtub. And it was pretty full. I had to support his back so he wouldn’t slide under. I was on my knees on the floor. We were playing with some rubber ducks; he loved that kind of thing.”

“Why did you leave him?”

She shook her fair head. “I didn’t, I didn’t leave him. I’m not stupid, you know. No one would leave such a small baby in a bathtub full of water and I’m not totally irresponsible.” She leaned forward over the table and looked at him with earnest eyes. “I had a fit,” she said dramatically. “It happens every now and then.”

“A fit? What kind of fit? Explain.”

Again he heard the hum of the traffic from the street outside. But then the world disappeared again and he was absolutely focused on the present, there in the room.

“I’ve got a serious brain disorder,” she confessed. She pouted and pushed her lower lip forward, as if she was sulking.

“What do you mean by disorder?” he asked.

“I’ve got epilepsy,” she explained. “I was washing him when I had a major seizure. I was flat out on the floor for quite a while. When it was over, he was lying at the bottom of the bathtub and it was too late. He had swallowed loads of water and I just panicked. I didn’t really know what I was doing. Surely you can understand that,” she added. “I was so scared, I just went to pieces.”

Hmm, he thought, a seizure. Cramps and loss of consciousness. He checked that the Dictaphone was still recording. All Carmen’s words would be stored in the little box and could be used for or against her in court on the final day.

“I thought I might be charged with negligence if I told the truth,” she continued. “So I carried him down to the pond. Then I could say that he’d gone there by himself, on his own two feet. Right to the end of the jetty and over the edge. It would be a more believable explanation in a way, and it wouldn’t really be my fault. Just an unfortunate accident. That’s what I thought. It probably sounds stupid, but I wasn’t myself. You’ve got to believe me; it was a major fit. So I carried him out to the pond and let him sink. I pretended that was what happened, made up a new story. Then I went to get Nicolai. And I don’t want you bothering him anymore, because it’s definitely not his fault!”

There was silence again following this outburst. He waited. He could not help but wonder at this new turn of events. For all he knew, she might be telling him the truth now. A very intricate story but perhaps too fantastic to be a lie.

“How long have you had epilepsy?”

“I was born with it,” she said. “I’ve always had it, and it’s pretty bad.”

“Do you take medicine?”

“Yes,” she replied. “Of course I take medicine; don’t be ridiculous! I don’t have fits that often, but when I do they’re big ones and they last a long time. Maybe once a month. We didn’t get enough air when we were born, you see. I’m actually a twin and it was a difficult birth. My sister Louisa died right away; she was only alive for an hour. And she only weighed three pounds. I weighed six, so you can imagine. I was the stronger of the two of us, and I’m proud of it. So there.”

“And how do you feel after a blackout like that?” he inquired.

“Not good,” she said quickly. “Dizzy, confused, and weak. I don’t really know what I’m doing. I’m just not with it for quite a long time. And later I can’t remember those first few minutes; it’s like they’ve been erased. More often than not I have to lie down, and I usually sleep for a few hours. But I’ve lived with epilepsy all my life, so I’m used to it. And Nicolai is too, and Dad of course. He knows how it is and he understands me.”

Sejer pondered what she had told him. It was absolutely plausible. She might get away with this version; stranger things had happened in Norwegian courts. A good lawyer. A charming defendant. A constant stream of tears and a serious, chronic condition that gave her fits.

“I shouldn’t have given him a bath without Nicolai’s help,” she said and sniffed. “But he was so busy with his old bikes. All I had to do was shout if I could feel a fit coming on. But I didn’t this time.”

“So normally you can feel it beforehand? That you’re about to have a fit?”

“Sometimes I get a little warning. But I didn’t this time. It hit me before I had time to think, and I just collapsed on the floor. And Tommy slipped out of my arms and went under. You have to believe me, because it’s true!”

“Carmen,” Sejer said calmly, “what you have just told me is very serious indeed. You tried to hide the truth, which is not good. You should have told us this right away. I’ve given you more than one chance. I’m afraid this may be taken to court and you will have to stand witness. There’s no getting away from it now. If you had told us from the start—well, it would have been better, but lying in your statement only encourages suspicion. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“But I’ve told you the truth now,” she sobbed. “Will I have to go to prison?”

“That’s for the judge to decide. We may have to remand you in custody, but let’s cross that bridge when we get to it. That’s up to the prosecution and defense. But you will, as you said earlier, need to get a good lawyer. Now, have you told me the truth about what happened? Be honest.”

“Yes,” she cried. “It’s the truth. I got cramps and fell on the floor. Tommy must have gone under and swallowed loads of water and got it in his lungs. It was an accident! I was stupid, but I’m not guilty of anything else no matter what you think. So just leave it now!”

“Who is your physician?” Sejer asked.

“Dr. Morris,” she said, taken aback. “At the medical center on Ågårds Plass. Why do you need to know?”

“I want to see your medical history, all the details,” he said somberly. “It might just save you.”

DEAR DIARY
,

Now, for the very first time, my dear friend, my new confidant, I’m going to write in my book with a red cover. I’m going to write down everything that’s happened, once and for all. I’ll try to be honest, but it might take some time, because the truth is buried deep inside. That’s not just true of me, but of everybody. So this is the situation: at least I don’t have to go to prison, because the case is still not clear in terms of the prosecution. That’s what he said, the scary inspector, and I was so relieved. I’m young and I don’t have a criminal record, and I’ve got a good lawyer. My lawyer’s name is Fredrik Friis, and he’s as old as Dad. It’s such a relief that he’s on my side. No matter what, he’ll support me. He’s says that everything will be fine, that the court will have to believe that it was because of the seizure and that my confusion afterward had terrible consequences. That’s the words he used, and I’m using them too, because they’re such a comfort. He will be the one talking in court and people will listen to him. Nicolai is going in for questioning this afternoon, but he’s got nothing more to tell. Just that I shouted in a panic when I saw the catastrophe. It was too late by the time he got there. I feel sorry for Nicolai. He’s taken this really badly. His life has just fallen to pieces, like there’s no way back. God, I was so scared when the police said they’d found evidence. I had no idea that they could find out all those details just by doing some tests. Gives me the shivers. All the things you haven’t thought about, water with soap in it, something as awful as that. But Dad is my greatest comfort. He believes me and will help in any way he can. He’s my rock. And now he’s heard my new statement. Nicolai got really angry, shouted and screamed—that you could do something like that, are you crazy? was what he said. He was raging and he doesn’t do that very often. I’ll say that for him. And then I started to cry, and he withdrew into himself as he always does when I cry. He sat there and clammed up and it was impossible to get through to him. And he knows what I’m like after a big fit. Yes, I would say that I’ve got a strong case.

I wish I’d had brothers or sisters.

I often think about it, and every time I do, I get really upset. A brother or a little sister. Someone to lean on when I feel upset, someone to complain to when things go wrong. Someone to confide in. It would have been so nice. But now I have you, dear diary, and you will also do the trick. But it’s sad that Louisa died. Because otherwise it would have been the two of us. Maybe it’s my fault. Maybe I was too greedy. I took all the food. So I’ve been punished for it and now I’m alone. And what about Nicolai, poor thing, who has no family whatsoever. It’s not surprising he’s so attached to Pappa Zita, and I’m so glad he is. Because everyone needs somewhere to go when life gets stormy. When life is unbearable. But I will do my best. Diaries exist for the truth to be told, and I will do what I can. There’s always the fear that someone else might read it, even though Nicolai definitely won’t sneak a look because he’s got such high morals. He’s quiet, he’s proper, he’s polite. That’s why I chose him. In the evenings he sits at the computer surfing the Internet, checking Facebook. Maybe he’s got friends there that I don’t know about. It’s possible, boys, maybe even girls. I never bother him. I just let him get on with it. I’m really fond of Nicolai. But I don’t think I’m in love with him, that’s gone forever. He’s become a habit. But a habit I like a lot, to be fair. It’s got a lot to do with Tommy, but so much is broken now. Maybe we’ll just become another statistic about relationships breaking up. Apparently it’s not that unusual, I’ve read about such things. How can we move on, I wonder, when it was Tommy who held us together? And now, after, it’s so incredibly empty, so deafeningly quiet in all the rooms. But the quiet is quite nice, to be honest. No one crying, no one making a fuss. It’s just a relief. I’m keeping a close eye on Nicolai and how he’s feeling. In case he breaks down, because I think he might. He’s so fragile, like he’s falling apart at the seams. And now it’s just him and me, suddenly like strangers, rattling around like two stones in a tin.