The Effects of Falling (The Weight of Rain Duet Book 2) (2 page)

The next day before practice, he delivered another package of black licorice and a smile that erased every reason I had been clinging to for the need to avoid him.

“Are you buying my friendship?” I asked.

He was sitting so close to me that I could feel his shoulders lift when he shrugged. “If that’s what it takes.”

A week later I was introduced to his little brother, King, who was fresh out of high school and itching with the desire to get out there and practice. But he was forced to the bench beside me, not ready yet to be in the advanced class. I’m fairly certain he didn’t even notice my presence until every last rider had dismounted and Kash had caught the bottle of water I’d thrown to him.

King’s attention has always been like that—at least it was up until he met Lo, his girlfriend and Kash’s previous employee who had taken care of Mercedes all of last year. I don’t think anything has ever distracted him from riding, but she seems to have an effect on every aspect of King—hence his new wound. I understand it implicitly because Kash has the very same influence over me.

“He’s overreacting. Lo’s going to be home in a few days. I don’t understand why everyone’s all worked up about this. Mercedes is in there, freaking out too.” Kash rubs a hand over the back of his neck, revealing he’s stressing out too, though he’s not admitting to it.

“It
is
a big deal. What if Lo’s artwork gets accepted and they want her to showcase all of her art there? She could be moving.” Parker’s the one brave enough to finally admit the thoughts we’ve all been avoiding.

“She can’t move.” Kash drops his chin and pulls out his cell phone. “King would kill himself.” His voice is flat, because like Parker and me, I’m sure he believes this is true.

When Lo left for Italy at the beginning of the summer, King lost that small bit of caution he’d previously possessed and became a kamikaze while riding.

What’s difficult to understand is, you can’t have much fear in this sport; if you do, you will get hurt. You’d be twenty-feet in the air, considering all the ways you could get injured, practically guaranteeing to get laid out because you weren’t paying attention to what you needed to be focused on. However, if you lose all sense of fear, you’re going to become a liability. Being brave and confident, yet smart and careful is a very fine line, one some people can never find the balance of again once they’ve allowed that fear to either diminish too far or grow a little too strong.

Believe me, this is another thing I know intimately. That’s why, during competitions, I sit on the sidelines with my camera lens between me and the bike. Even though I still ride nearly daily, I’ve lost my passion to compete against anyone, including myself.

“It’s Lo, guys. She isn’t moving,” I say.
She has to stay
.

“He just got rid of that limp. We need to keep him off a bike until we at least hear from her.” Kash flips his hat backward and then leaves us with the memory of King’s crash a few months ago fresh in our thoughts.

“What’s going on between you two?”

I widen my eyes at Parker, feigning confusion. Clearly, his thoughts have already moved forward.

He drops his chin and smiles dubiously. “Don’t bullshit me, Summer. You only think you’re a good liar.”

I stick my thumb in my mouth and blow in an exaggerated fashion before flipping him the bird.

Laughing, he dips his chin and shakes his head. “Spencer hit on you again?”

The thought of the producer Kash often works with that always gives me the creeps, makes me wrinkle my nose with distaste. “You know I avoid Spencer at all costs.”

Parker smiles. “Something’s obviously gotten his panties in a twist.”

“Well, why don’t you go find out? You probably know the size and issues involving his panties better than I do. All I know is, it has nothing to do with me.”

“That makes sense since he’s only been working to avoid
you
.”

I want to flip him off again or contest his accusation, but it’s true, and if Parker has noticed, that means everyone else has too.

I don’t have time for this shit.

With a deep sigh, I leave the shop and make my way toward the house.

November has brought nothing but an endless cycle of rain that has the skies so dark and gloomy it feels like even mornings are on the cusp of becoming dusk.

Without knocking, I swing the front door open, annoyed with Kash, annoyed with King, annoyed with Lo, and annoyed with the fact that I am the one who has to resolve whatever is causing this tension. I find Kash alone in the office, looking through files and images on the new leg of his marketing campaign.

Instinctively, I grip my hips and face him, my temper already at a low simmer. “What’s your deal?”

“I’m just tired of King trying to kill himself.”

I knew he’d answer. Kash and I know each other too well. Had he tried to say it was nothing, he knew I would have busted his balls.

But he won’t look at me, which only confirms this issue has nothing to do with King and everything to do with me. We’ve only gone through one other period like this, and it was while he was dating a woman named Sadie. He never told me about her. I had walked in one day and found the two of them making out. Initially, I’d wanted to turn around and pretend like I never saw it, but that was impossible since King was right behind me.

Could that be what’s happening? Is Kash dating someone?

I can’t imagine that being the case. King would tell me if it were. After Sadie, he knows I would kill him if he didn’t. Then again, King is so distracted with riding again and Lo traveling that I don’t think he’s aware of which day of the week it is.

But Lo would know. Lo has been a little preoccupied with arranging things for this trip to New York for her drawings and some paintings to be accepted at a prestigious art gallery, but she notices things. While I originally felt really jealous about her relationship with Kash, I’m grateful for it now because he opens up to her, and I’m pretty confident he would tell her about this. And Lo would tell me … right?

Without calling Kash out for his bullshit answer, I head to the door. I despise that he’s making me question so much about myself, simply by him being so aloof and absent. I absolutely loathe that I’ve somehow given him the power to do so. I don’t even know when that occurred.
When did I stop looking at other men? When did Kash’s happiness start outweighing my own? And how in the hell did that happen?

“Summer.”

Kash’s voice makes my feet slow, and I hate that too. I flash a glare over my shoulder because while I’m not ready to tell him how angry I am with him, I have no problem showing it.

“We’re okay. I just … I just have a lot of shit to get done. And I’ve got to find another new nanny.”

Adding Mercedes to the mix is a low blow. When it comes to her, he knows I can’t be mad. Part of the reason I fell so deeply in love with Kash is because of his love for his daughter. She has always come first, and I know she always will. Something about seeing his dedication and devotion to her firsthand makes me fall harder and harder for him.

“It’s whatever, Kash. I’m going to find King and get out of here.”

“Do you want to head to Spencer’s with me?”

Pressing my lips together, I shake my head. “No, thanks.”

I do though, and I’m shocked I was able to say no so convincingly. Kash’s creased forehead and slight frown confirms he is too.
And is that disappointment in his brown eyes? God, please be disappointment. Tell me you’re as miserable as I am.
Truth be told, I know Kashton Knight loves me. He just isn’t ready to admit it … maybe not even to himself.

“All right. Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Kash’s eyes cut back to the computer screen, making the hopefulness I felt for fleeting seconds combust and their remains to vanish.

Last summer, Lo nearly broke up with King. Actually, she did, but thankfully, he refused to allow her to. Her reasoning for doing so had been that she was afraid she would never be a top priority for him and that her art would demand to be her top priority. How I never realized that my fear is and always had been the exact same, still boggles my mind.

I don’t bid him good-bye. I don’t even look in his direction. I leave.

Clearing the last stair that leads to King’s apartment in the basement, I lack feeling the relief I was seeking. Instead, it feels like I left another piece of myself in the office, another piece that Kash refuses to accept.

K
ING’S HAIR IS
disheveled as he stands in the doorway with several pieces of gauze patching his shin closed. He cocks his head to the side and raises a hand to pinch the slight bridge in his nose. “I don’t want to hear it, Summer,” he warns.

“Unfortunately, it looks like you
need
to hear it.” I continue to eye his leg for emphasis.

Sighing, he crosses his arms over his chest and draws his shoulders back.

Once upon a time, King didn’t seem so large. At eighteen, he was almost gangly, his arms and legs impossibly thin and each rib clearly visible when he went shirtless. With age and his growing love of cooking, he’s filled out, somehow becoming a man even though I still sometimes remember him as a boy. His posturing doesn’t deter me, like it does with others. King is often all bark and no bite, and since he and Lo got together, even his bark is usually absent.

“It’ll heal.”

“This time,” I cry. “What happens when it’s your back breaking, and not just your skin? Or your hip goes out? Or your neck snaps? You know as well as I do what happens when people get careless out there.”

“It was a fall, Summer. Why are you making this out to be such a big deal?” King’s scowl works to convince me I should drop it, but his T-shirt reveals more bacon that is beginning to scab over on his forearm and along his elbow. I’m sure it hurt like a bitch. It’s never fun to get road rash on a joint.

“Has she heard anything?” I ask, changing the subject since it’s clear he won’t see reason when something much larger is bothering him.

He sags away from the doorway and turns toward the small living room in the apartment he’s made down here. His head falls back on his shoulders, revealing how much Lo’s absence is weighing on him. “I’ve barely heard from her. She’s been at the gallery a ton, and has had nonstop meetings and interviews.” He falls to the couch, gripping either side of his head. “I should be so fucking happy for her. This is huge. And my head is shoved so far up my own ass that I…” King growls, unclear of his own emotions.

“It’s not selfish for you to want her to stay here,” I interject, knowing that King is heading down an even more dangerous path.

“It is if New York can offer her something I can’t.”

“Success can’t replace what you and Lo share. You know that.”

“But I can’t hold her back. If she stays here for us—”

“King, stop.”

“I’m losing my fucking mind. I don’t know what in the hell I’m supposed to do.” He slams the back of his head and upper body against the couch, his shoulders slumping with defeat.

Sitting beside him, I extend a hand and place it on his knee.

By complete chance, King met Lo at a party over a year ago. The next day, he was walking on cloud nine, smiling and laughing, breezing through things like everything was some sort of grand experience. I probed him for what had him walking on rays of sunshine, and he told me about her. Explained that she was different than anyone he had met before. That he felt more than a mere physical connection, something much deeper—an emotional one.

Being thirty-two, I know that physical attraction with someone can happen with a single glance, and depending on your surroundings, it can happen daily—or, in some cases, several times a day—but an emotional connection is something we all strive to find. It evokes feelings that don’t fade with distance or time and creates a pull within your chest and mind that makes it nearly impossible to think of anything or anyone, other than the person you share the connection with.

King was never a guy who played women. Over the years, he had the opportunity to sleep with plenty of girls who were anxious to be with him—some simply because of his name—but his mom and her constant desire to impress others ensured that would never be a choice King would make. He worked hard to find genuine people who cared for him, and even then, he was screwed over a few times.

Something about meeting Lo though had him feeling confident that she had no interest in anything he could offer or provide as far as title, name, or merchandise were concerned.

The blissfulness lasted only a few days. Then, it quickly deteriorated with each passing hour, leading him to becoming impatient, short-tempered, and even gruff at times—traits King rarely displayed.

In a strange series of events, Lo began working for Kash, and struggles and unease grew between her and King, mostly attributed to the fact that they never got in contact after the slightly irresponsible acts that followed their night together. The tension in the Knight house was so thick fog lights wouldn’t have been able to help us navigate the situation. It took several months for King and Lo to resolve their issues. I’m happy for them, and especially proud of King for finally swallowing his pride and fears of rejection and pursuing Lo.