The Everlasting Covenant (10 page)

The old woman stayed on and on, turning gowns inside out to show Anne the stitchery, going over each detail of the crafts
manship, displaying shawls and wimples and hennins with var
ious gowns to show the versatility of the costumes. Anne was impressed with the wardrobe, but just as she felt the urge to giggle in happiness, she noticed her sister
’
s tears.

“
Divina,
”
she began, attempting consolation.

“
Do not,
”
Divina said, struggling to maintain some dignity.
“
Just let me see,
”
she said quietly, her cheeks damp.
“
Let me see how it might have been for me.
”

“
You must believe me, Divina. I would not purposely do anything to hurt you.
”

“
If I am sent to the convent,
”
Divina said,
“
I will never forgive you. Never!
”

Anne was left to watch the old woman
’
s nervous pre
sentation of clothing, her blasé
reaction no longer a matter of choice. She was robbed of the happiness the new clothing brought by Divina
’
s jealousy and pain. Anne wondered how Divina could ignore the irony. Anne was always expected to make do on lesser gowns, to accept her future as a nun, and to exist without companionship or sisterly affection. But Divina, hurt and jeal
ous, was to be pitied. Anne grew tired of the old woman
’
s chatter. She felt a sense of loss rather than the delight of ac
quisition. Anne did not value material possessions above her sister
’
s love.

Finally, Divina departed, closing the chamber door, and Anne turned to put her belongings away. It was then that the old
woman sighed wearily and withdrew a small, torn parchment from her deep apron pocket.
“
I worried we
’
d never be left alone, mum, and I
’
ve a secret something to pass along.
”

Anne took the parchment in bemused silence, opened it and read:

Anne, my love, please forgive me.

The hand was not Brennan
’
s. She looked at the old woman.
“
Where did you come by this?
”
she questioned in a whisper.

“
Just four leagues off your gates, mum. The lad said
‘
twas for your eyes alone, and he
’
d be killed were it known. Must have meant a great deal to him. He paid me a noble sum to pass it along.
”

“
You were not told to help me examine these things, were you?
”

“
Nay, mum, but I knew no other way. I can
’
t read, mum. Is it important, like the lad said?
”

Anne caressed the parchment with her fingers, reading it over and over through moist eyes. The words blurred and ran to
gether. The message was clear.
“
Did he say anything else?
”
she asked, her voice catching.
“
Anything at all?
”

“
That you would understand, mum,
”
the woman said, shrug
ging her shoulders.

“
He was astride?
”
she asked.
“
Dressed ..
. dressed warmly?
”

Anne felt a touch and saw the old woman
’
s hand on her forearm.
“
Well kept, armored ..
. safe astride a good horse, mum.
”

Anne looked at the old woman closely. Then she took the note directly to the hearth and dropped it in the flame.
“
You must forget the errand and never speak of it.
”
Then she kissed the woman
’
s old and withered cheek.
“
I thank you from my heart.
”

“
I
’
m thinkin
’
it
’
s young lovers you are.
”

“
Please,
”
Anne said in a weak whisper. She was filled with pain. He was so close, yet he could not reach her. He did not beg her to come to him. He did not ask her to wait. He did not promise that soon, after this conflict, they would have each other. Her eyes were luminous with loss and agony.

“
I
’
ll not hurt you, lass. But I saw the same in his eyes, I did. If it helps you to know that, I saw the same in his eyes.
”

Anne nodded and her chin quivered. He was not coming for her. Not ever. His family had snatched him into their war and he had made his choice. And her family had given her to Brennan for the same purpose
--
to form a war pact. Dylan must surely have decided that it was now forever hopeless. He had given up their oath.

The old woman touched her cheek with a sympathetic stroke and then quietly left the room.

Anne choked back painful tears and lifted an ermine-lined cloak from the new clothing spread across her bed. She went to the donjon and stood alongside a watchman, looking out over the Raedelle lands. She examined the forest
’
s edge for any detail, for fresh tracks in the snow. If she caught the slightest glimpse of him, she would scale the wall with her bare hands and run to him. But there was nothing. He had been four leagues away when he pa
ssed the note to the old woman –
he was now surely ten leagues gone.

Tears slowly slid down her cheeks, and the guard did not comment until she had stood there for over an hour.
“
My lady, you
’
ll become ill of the cold if you do not descend.
”
She shook her head, her cheeks chapped from the tears, the winter wind, the icy cold. A hundred desperate plans coursed through her mind: to dress like a soldier and pass through the gate on horse
back, or as a monk, but there were no monks in Raedelle, or as an old woman, as she had first attempted. But the guards let no one pass now, since the successful surprise attack on the Duke of York. And Dylan was gone
--
he had made his choice.

The sun began to lower in the sky.
“
My lady,
”
the tower guard whispered.
“
Please, why do you weep?
”

“
My betrothed,
”
she said weakly, her voice catching on a sob.
“
We are at war.
”

“
But mademoiselle, the earl is one of the very best, his army is strong and well known. You need not be afraid for him.
”

“
Of course not,
”
she said, letting her chin fall. She could not see as far now, for the sky had darkened. Around the parapets
the archers were lighting cressets. She returned to her chamber with a heavy heart and tears continued to stain her reddened cheeks as she placed her clothes in coffers. She looked up at the sound of her opening chamber door. Marcella stood there, a frown on her lips.

“
What ails you now?
”
she demanded.

“
I ..
. I am overcome by Lord Forbes
’
s generosity,
”
she stam
mered, wiping at her tears.

“
As are we all.
‘
Twas unkind of him to laud his wealth over us in this way. Your sister has never had such good fortune and I am certain her pain is great. Divina weeps.
”

“
Madam ..
. Mother ... I would gladly share my good for
tune with ...
”

“
Divina will not take your leavings, girl.
”

Anne stiffened.
“
I have taken hers often enough.
”

Marcella smiled tolerantly.
“
It has not taken you long to become haughty. You were not so vain before the earl took a fancy to you.
”

“
I did not ask this of the earl, nor did I ask to be his bride. Am I at some fault here? Or is it only Divina
’
s jealousy that makes you dislike my good fortune?
”
Anne
’
s heart was breaking, and she shook her head sadly.
“
Why do you pity Divina, madam? Did you ever pity me when I was poorly gowned and destined to the convent? Why do you hate me? Mother?
”

Marcella looked away and closed her eyes briefly. Anne saw a flicker of pain cross her mother
’
s features.

“
Because birthing me was hard? Because I was a horrid child?
”
She choked on a sob.
“
Was Divina so much better?
”

Marcella looked back at Anne. Now Anne saw it again
--
hate. Pain had turned to hate. She did not understand.
“
You are mistaken if you think I favor your sister over you, though she tries much harder to please me than you ever have. She is older and should marry first, but somehow you have managed where she has failed. You must be careful, Anne, that you do not become vain.
”

“
Oh madam, there is little chance of that,
”
Anne said wearily, turning away.
“
You and my sister will surely put me in my place.
”

“
Do you expect me to coddle you as does your mighty earl?
”
Marcella snapped in sudden fury.
“
I have raised five children
--
three of them great knights
--
and what does he choose to discuss? Not the power of the family that will support him, not the arms we len
d to his cause, but the frayed h
em on the gown of his young tart! Do
not pretend innocence with me –
you relish in his poor treatment of me!
”

Anne felt as though she had been slapped.
“
Where have I failed you, madam? How is it you love me so little? Does a mother really forget to love a child whose birth was painful? I cannot imagine it.
”

“
You have been very fortunate, Anne. And take special care that you do not misuse your new power.
”

Marcella turned and left the chamber. It was Anne
’
s alone now, for Minerva was dead and Divina was gone. She did not join the family for the evening meal, and nothing was brought to her. She refused to go to the common room to dine with her mother and sister and face their jealous glares. Soon, they seemed to forget her again, for no one noticed that Anne con
tinued to wear her old gowns. And that her mind was far, far away
--
to a place where there could be fighting, where there could be no winners. A battle between Dylan and Brennan.

How alike they are,
she thought. These two men who wanted her, though on opposite sides, were both so proud, so hard in their convictions and steadfast in their loyalties. Both had asked for forgiveness when they had to abandon her to serve their leaders and lend arms to what they believed in. She had once thought Dylan unconcerned with the choice of king, that he did not care about those loyalties chosen for him by his family. But it could not be so. It was that other feud, the one between the Giffords and deFraynes, that did not interest him. When it came to his king, he was steadfast. Otherwise, he would not have asked her forgiveness. His secret note was his admission that he had joined the cause and had, by necessity, sacrificed his promises to her.

She knew the history of her country quite well, and she had not the faintest idea who was right, whose right it was to wear
the crown. She knew that if Brennan was killed in some battle, her mother and sister would feast on her gowns and trinkets and send her away to a convent without delay. From the convent Dylan could rescue her. But she could not find it in her heart to wish for Brennan
’
s death, even if that meant a chance to have Dylan. Brennan had become her only ally, and her generosity was sincere.

In her lonely room she sometimes longed for Trenton, but she knew his alliance would be less available as he grew older, practiced his knightly skills, and turned his gaze toward his future. She longed for the presence of her father, though he could not help her. Or Minerva, who had deflected Marcella
’
s blows so deftly through Anne
’
s childhood that it was not until the old nurse died that Anne realized how little Marcella loved her. Her tears for Minerva were painful as this final truth dawned.