The Everlasting Covenant (48 page)

“
Do you deny that it pleases you?
”
he blustered.

“
Yea, it pleases me,
”
she murmured.
“
Poor man, to have wasted so many years with a woman who did not love him, did not wish to live with him, would not give him children.
”
She studied her reflection. Did her surge of hope show?
“
Perhaps he will marry now –
someone who gives him heirs.
”

“
You did your part, did you not?
”

Anne closed her eyes and tried to remain composed. She took a deep breath. They had been through this often enough before. Clifton
’
s acceptance of his position as her consort had been short-lived. Within just a few years after they were married his possessiveness turned into jealousy. There was very little she could say to dissuade him from such moods and so she said nothing.

“
Sloan should not be in his company.
”

“
Clifton, be at ease. Sloan is only in company with a man he has admire
d from afar. It is a good sign –
he will watch Lord deFrayne, listen and try to learn. You once thought Lord deFrayne
a good and honorable man –
you once admired him. Nothing has really changed.
”

“
Perhaps Sloan will realize--
”

“
If you let your envy show, he will certainly wonder at the cause. Leave it alone.
”

“
He will not take my boys away from me,
”
Clifton stormed. Anne flinched and blinked her eyes tightly closed despite her effort to remain passive to his thundering. She was not aware that he approache
d her. He was angry and afraid –
outbursts like this had steadily increased over the years. He had been easier to handle when he was younger, when he was confident of his knightly skills. But now his body, which had been his livelihood, was no longer young and willing. He was not as strong as he had been, he did not win every contest among the men as before. He seemed to have little interest in lordship, but when his prowess in contest failed and showed the effects of age, he became even more surly and discontent. He yanked her roughly to her feet.
“
Sloan is more mine than anyone
’
s! Ayliffe did noth
ing with the lad
--
I trained him! DeFrayne never knew him!
”

Anne trembled. She placed a placating hand on his chest.
“
Sloan loves you, Clifton. All boys grow up, find heroes, tak
e their fathers for granted ..
. but the love does not stop.
”

“
Tell me that you do not care for him anymore,
”
he demanded.
“
Say
that you do not love deFrayne –
that you do not hope to see him.
”
She stud
ied the expression in his eyes –
something there was verging on panic.

“
Clifton, I ended that. You heard me! There has been nothin
g –
no word, no message, no inquiry. And by Lord deFrayne
’
s dal
liance at court, something you often remind me about, it cer
tainly seems he does not have any further interest in me.
”

“
The
tr
uth.
”

“
‘
Tis truth I speak.
”

“
You do not always tell me the truth.
”

“
Yea, husband, I do. I know the penalty for lying.
”

He released her and turned his face from her eyes. At least he was still ashamed of that event. When both her family and Dylan deFrayne had appeared at court, Clifton had suddenly
been faced with all three males
--
Dylan, Sloan, and Gage
--
and had seen the resemblance in their eyes. He had demanded the truth and she had dodged his questions, unskillfully. He beat her so badly that he had to take her from Westminster.

The tearful truth had emerged. But she swore that only she knew these secret circumstances and that Sloan believed Lord Forbes was his father. Sir Clifton would never breathe that truth. If it ever became known that Sloan was not the earl
’
s son, he would not be the earl
’
s heir. Clifton
’
s only connection to the wealth of Ayliffe came through his marriage to Anne and his rearing of the heirs.

Anne had never been anything but a dutiful wife to Sir Clifton, but that had not saved her from his abuse. When Clifton had humbly begged to be allowed to save her from shame through wedlock, he had been almost reverent. That had quickly changed.

“
Clifton, these sons of mine clamor after recognition and praise like all boys. They admire those distant heroes of the court, as all young men do. Young Prince Edward
’
s greatest love may be for his father, but Anthony is his guardian and hero. The boys owe you much
–
they will not forget you for another. Be at peace on this. Do not torture yourself.
”

He turned back to her and she saw clearly that there was pain in his eyes.
“
You never gave me a son of my own.
”

“
‘
Twas not by choice,
”
she reminded him. She had conceived three times in her life. Even Clifton should know that the prob
lem was not hers. Her monthly blood had now stopped, though she was only seven and thirty. Her time for childbearing was past. Clifton in response played the wenches more liberally. Still, he had not gotten himself a bastard.
“
Divorce me if you like. Take another.
”

“
You wish it?
”

“
Nay. I have held my vows sacred. I would have you till death, Clifton, but you must not hurt us. Once,
”
she said softly,
“
you loved me.
”

“
You never said so to me,
”
he said, a pout replacing his grimace.

She knew she could say so now, but not convincingly.
“
I
offered what I had, milord, and have been true to it. Once you thought we had more on which to build a union than most people ever had. I depended on your strength and chivalry
–
to be my husband, you said, would be an honor. I warned you that one day it might not be enough, but you swore that day would never come. And ... I believed you.
”

He hung his head shamefacedly.

“
You do not wish to send Gage to him?
”

“
Nay,
”
she said, smiling patiently to hide her disquiet. She had learned to appear unafraid in front of Clifton. He frequently translated fear into guilt.
“
It is only Sloan
’
s excitement at meeting someone so highly sung
–
Lord deFrayne would not have re
quested it. Did he not give his word? Did you not think him an honorable man? Did he ever betray his oath to you?
”

He did not answer, but simply made to pass her, to leave the room. Anne sighed with relief when he was gone. She went to the window of Deirdre
’
s bower. She looked into the pleasaunce, then at the jeweled tapestry that hung on her bedchamber wall. There was a prickling sensation that ran up her spine. She wondered how much worse Clifton would become simply be
cause Dylan
’
s wife was dead.

Their marriage was eleven years old. In the early days, when she was pregnant and then when Gage was just a baby, Clifton had been respectful and courteous. He seemed satisfied to have her as his wife, to manage the men of Ayliffe on her behalf. Though she had never loved Clifton, she remembered those as gentle days, for she was left to see to her young in the comfort of Ayliffe, and there was a strong man, determined to protect her, at her side.

She could not remember exactly when it began to change, but it was worsening every year. At first Clifton had spells of impatience and discontent, and became angry with her over small things. Before long his unpredictable anger grew into rages. His brow was almost always furrowed, his mouth turned down. She tried to remember his smile and realized she could not. Even as he had gently wooed her into marriage, into his protection, he had been deadly serious.

Their life together was barely tolerable. Clifton was no longer a good teacher for Gage, and he leered at Deirdre. He was so jealous that he had a castle scribe read him every piece of correspondence delivered to her, even letters from Trenton.

Had he finally learned the truth
--
that Anne was not a god
dess to be worshipped, but only a woman? He had the prize, did he finally lament the cost? Or perhaps the luxury of Ayliffe had finally spoiled him.

She shuddered involuntarily. Something eerie seemed to lin
ger at the edge of her intuition. She had not planned to send Deirdre to the queen, that was an impulsive decision. She was beginning to think about a place for Gage to go, but Clifton protested, and since he claimed this boy as his son, his protests were heard. He was determined to raise the boy alone, and he was hard on him. Anne saw that Clifton
’
s regard for Gage was much as Marcella
’
s had been toward her. He looked at the boy, remembered the circumstances of his conception and birth, and these rankled. And there was little she could do about it. Sloan was still away and would stay at least through the winter, perhaps much longer if Calais proved a profitable place for a young knight, which pleased Anne. She wanted to settle her children. There was a nagging feeling that bothered her.

Once she thought she had conquered her greatest problems. She had said good bye to Dylan, had exchanged vows with Sir Cliff, and set about raising h
er children. But it had been un
raveling almost since the day it began. The unreasonable envy in Clifton
’
s eyes warned her. She knew the days ahead were going to be even harder.

Anne had begun to worry that Clifton would never relent and allow her to go to London to see about Deirdre, but he was forced to reconsider when a summons arrived from Richard, the Duke of Gloucester. It was fall and the harvest was in, and Gloucester demanded Clifton
’
s arms of Ayliffe for a coup in Scotland. The duke offered a modest barony in exchange, but the summons was most firm, Clifton was not allowed to defer with gold or soldiers in his stead. In eleven years, this was the
first demand that Clifton could not escape. Additionally, Gloucester summoned the countess to the queen
’
s service.

“
We will send word that you are ill,
”
Clifton had said.

Anne, though afraid of a beating or at least a tongue lashing, braved the outburst.
“
My daughter is there, my lord, and I have promised both Deirdre and the queen that
I
will winter at the palace. It is better that you take me there than to have me find an escort and travel alone after you are gone. It is important that I see to my daughter, and I will.
”

Clifton knew that on the issue of her children, Anne would brave his worst temper. He grasped her by the upper arms, gave her a shaking, and warned her that if he heard any tales about her behavior while he was away, she would be severely punished. Then, cleverly, Clifton made plans to leave Gage at Ayliffe so that Anne would think about his future should any temptation present itself. He knew Anne well. She would not chance her son
’
s well-being.

For the first few weeks at court, Anne and Clifton stayed at Westminster, but Deirdre was not with them. Deirdre was with other maids of like circumstance, waiting on the queen, and secretly
--
or so the maids thought
--
looking over the men. Anne was not surprised to see that Deirdre was happy. But there was a new quietness about Deirdre that
Anne did not quite understand –
a secret smile, a twinkling eye, a lighter step.

Also at court were Lord deFrayne and his mother, but Anne did not chance the slightest word to either of them. She did see that the most talked about, and indeed, the most beautiful woman at court was frequently on his arm. Once, Clifton turned Anne toward Dylan and whispered in her ear,
“
Do you see, madam? I know that he is here, and if you even speak one word to him, I will hear of it.
”
Anne looked at Dylan and saw him kiss Elise Debarge
’
s neck. The pain bit her deep, but she kept it from her eyes as best she could and replied to her husband,
“
I believe the earl is otherwise engaged and does not seek con
versation with any other.
”
Later, that same evening, when Clif
ton was engaged in a contest of strength, bracing arms with another knight at a table, she stole another look at Dylan and
his current mistress. But Dylan did not fondle the lady
–
he gazed at Anne. Her glance was quick, for Anne trembled and had to look away. To tremble or weep in Clifton
’
s presence was dan
gerous. But the look haunted her.