The Ex Factor: A Novel (36 page)

She pulled her hair to the back and placed it in a curly Afro ponytail. She placed big silver hoop earrings in her ears, slipped on a tight denim dress with a fringed bottom hem, put on her red patent-leather stilettos, and stepped out the door. For the first time in a long time, even if she didn't feel it, she was fierce. Monica didn't know where she was going or who she was going with but knew she was going somewhere, even if she had to do it alone.

As she got in her car she pulled out her cell phone and called Listra. “Hey, gurl!” Monica said, excited, as Listra answered the phone.

“Hey, Monica! How are you?”

“I'm fine. You haven't been by to see your godson.”

“I know, girl, but the truth is I can't stand Sharief and I can't be around him.”

“But you don't have to talk to him.”

“Monica, what de hell? Gurl, I'm not comin' no place that man payin' bills and be vexed with him, I can stay home for dat.”

“Look, I don't want to get into it with you, I'm calling so we can hang out. I'm dressed and ready to go.”

“You wanna bust a lime now?” Listra said, surprised.

“Yes, come on out.”

“I can't gurl. I got de worst cramps in de world. I can't drink nuthin', I'm sorry, baby gurl.”

“Damn. All right, I understand.”

“Will you and Jeremiah come see me tomorrow?” Listra asked.

“Yeah.”

“Good. Look, I'll call you at home later on or if I feel better I'll make an exception and ride by. Maybe we can hang out then.”

… … …

MONICA SAT WITH tears in her eyes, determined not to go back in the house. She couldn't believe this is what her life had come to. She couldn't take it and she didn't want it anymore.
I can't deal with this right now
, she thought as she placed her car in gear and took
off. By the time she stopped driving she was pulling into a parking lot and walking across the street to the Cherry Lounge.

As soon as she walked in, she noticed the men.
Goddamn, look at these men in here. One thing's for sure
, she thought as she sat down at the bar,
that ma'fuckin' Sharief knows he cleans up rather well.
As Monica went to order her drink, she noticed that the bartender was setting an empty shot glass in front of her.

“My friend over there,” he said, pointing, “would like to say hello.”

Monica looked up and the guy waved. He was average looking, nothing to write home about, but Monica appreciated the drink and the attention. He walked over and extended his hand. “Milton,” he said. As she shook his hand, she noticed a thin gold band on his left hand. He caught her looking and smiled. “Don't worry about that, what's your name?”

“Well it damn sure ain't Desperate, Need to Be Fucked, or Chick on the Side.”

“Excuse me?”

“I don't need to excuse you, your wife does. Now beat it, I have enough problems.” Monica was pissed. She got up from the bar and headed toward the dance floor. As soon as the club song “One Night Love Affair” came on, she started gettin' her groove on.

Monica stayed in the club for a few hours then headed home. By the time she got there, she noticed that her mother's car was gone. She hoped that Jeremiah was still sleeping peacefully.

“Where the fuck you been?” Sharief yelled as soon as she walked in the door.

Although he scared her she still tried to ignore him. He spun her around. “I asked you a question. Where the fuck you been?”

“I was out with Listra.”

“Stop lying,” he pointed in her face, “because that nontalkin' bitch was over here looking for you, so how did you go out with her?”

“I hooked up with her after that.”

“What time?”

“At ten thirty.”

“Stop lying, she came by here at eleven.” Sharief got into Monica's face and pinned her against the wall. She could smell the alcohol on his breath. “You were out with some niggah?”

“Get out my face.”

“Answer me!”

“Get the fuck out my face!” she screamed.

He grabbed her roughly by the chin. “Answer me.”

“And if I was?”

“I'll kick your fuckin' ass, you cheatin' on me?”

“Fuck you.” “Fuck me! Since when I get left at home alone with the god-damn kids in this nasty-ass house while you go fuck some niggah?”

“Why I gotta be fuckin' somebody?”

“You ain't fuckin' me!”

“I don't wanna fuck you! How about that?” She pushed him in the center of his chest. “I don't want you no more. Don't you see I fucked up my family to be with you. I fucked over my sister to be with you and what the fuck are you? Some drunk-ass, unemployed nothing with kids that get on my damn nerves! I need you to leave. I don't want to work at this. I don't want nothing for Jeremiah! I have to get away from you, because I feel like I'm in a battle.”

“So you want me to step? Where the fuck am I supposed to go?”

“Find someplace, besides a liquor store, you drunk mother-fucker! You have a mother, go stay with her. But you have to leave here. I want your shit packed and you gone. I can't do this anymore.” She started to cry. “Please. Please leave. I'm begging you to go.”

Sharief kicked over the wicker truck and threw a chair across the room. “I don't believe this!”

“Stop it!” Monica screamed. “Stop it.” She slid down the wall, tears pouring from her eyes. The kids ran to the top of the stairs and watched as Sharief tore up the living room and Monica cried, begging him to leave.

“Daddy!” Kai yelled. “What you doin'? If Aunty wants you to leave, why don't you just go? Maybe then we can find my mommy.”

As if Kai had said the magic words, Sharief stopped instantly and turned to Monica. “You know I love you.” He chuckled slightly, tears racing down his cheeks. “I love you so much that I didn't give a fuck about nothing and nobody and now look at this. Look at this.” He wiped his eyes and looked at Monica. “Me and my kids'll be gone in the morning. I won't say good-bye, because we've already said that.”

Monica wiped the tears that covered her face. “And don't wake me when you leave.” She walked up the stairs and went to bed.

“
K
HERE YOU WANT us to go, Tasha?” Imani said, watching Sabrena roll a blunt as she, Tasha, and Quiana sat around Sabrena's living room. The music was blasting and Tasha was trying to talk the girls into going to a club over in Jersey.

“Come on, y'all,” Tasha said, “I heard the Arena is supposed to be fiyyah.”

“I'll pass,” Imani said, “but look, I wanna tell y'all something.”

“What?”

“I've been thinking about enrolling in this X-ray technician program. It'll be like going to school and having a job at the same time. The program is out of the hospital and I'll be working at the hospital during the day and going to school at night.”

“I could see the school part, 'cause you is smart,” Quiana said. “Remember you used to write them poems and shit?”

“But a job?” Sabrena said as she finished packing the blunt. “You don't need no job, Christmas done passed already.”

“God-Lee, y'all,” Tasha said, “maybe it's somebody birthday.”

“No, that ain't it.” Imani sighed. “It's just time to get off the stoop smoking weed. And I want a career. My face is healed, thank
God, and my cast came off yesterday. Plus, I can't stay another day with my mother and this nonsingin'-ass Redtonio Brown and his Jammin' for Jesus clique. You know they tryin' to get a recording contract. I told my mother his Top Ten days are over.”

“Get the fuck outta here.” Sabrena went to pass Imani the blunt. “Jammin' for Jesus?”

“Naw, I'm good.” Imani said refusing the smoke. “But y'all, you should hear 'em.” She laughed. “They be in the basement doing the remix to Terror Squad's ‘Lean Back.’ ”

The girls almost choked off the weed smoke, they were laughing so hard. “Tell me—tell,” Quiana coughed out, “how that shit go.”

“Damn, Quiana,” Imani said, “you spittin' and shit. But look, the remix goes like this,
‘Lean back—lean back—lean back for Jesus He comin' through…'
Then Roxanne jumps out—she took Jimmy's spot.” Imani stood up, laughing so hard she was crying. “And Rox-anne says,
‘R to easy Jesus ain't greasy.’
Girl, me and Jamal be on the floor.”

“That's is funny as hell.” Tasha wiped her eyes. “Now tell us, wassup with Kree?”

“I can't even lie, I love that niggah, but I have to get my life together. And I swear to you I haven't even fucked him in months.”

“What? No dick in months and you still breathing?” Sabrena took a pull of the blunt. “Busting a nut is like oxygen for me.”

Imani laughed. “The next time I fuck him I wanna be able to offer more than a big butt and a smile. But all I want is a career and a spot for me and my baby right now. I was thinking about moving uptown; there's a new building on Hundred Forty-second and Covenant.”

The girls all looked at one another. Tasha put the blunt out. “Imani, you done fucked up my high.”

“Why you say that?”

“Don't pay Tasha no mind,” Sabrena said. “You know she gon' rep for the BK till the end.”

“And you know this,” Tasha said.

“They take Section Eight?” Quiana asked.

“Yeah,” Imani said, “I would just have to contribute two hundred dollars more to the rent every month.”

They all cracked up laughing.

“Yo, you crazy, to be paying shit extra,” Sabrena said.

“It's just two hundred dollars.”

“Yeah,” Tasha said, “but it's far as hell.”

“No it's not, it's just a train ride away,” Imani assured them.

“You ain't gon' be hangin' out with us no more?” Sabrena asked. “What, you gon' be reppin' with an Uptown crew?”

“Look, y'all my niggahs and we down like four flats. Ain't no replacing that. I just don't wanna sit on the porch and smoke weed every day.”

“Yeah, I feel you,” Tasha said.

Just then Imani's cell phone started ringing. She wasn't going to answer because the person was calling from a blocked number but she did anyway. “Hello?”

“Imani, this Shante.”

“Oh God no! Shante, sweetie,” Imani said condescendingly, “why are you calling me? What do you want? Is Walik outta jail, y'all having another kid? You want me to drop the charges, if so then no. I'm not. As a matter of fact the state picked them up.”

“No, Walik ain't outta jail.” Shante sucked her teeth. “His PD is tryna get him to cop a plea anyway. So I'm not calling for any of that.” Shante sucked her teeth again. “And I'm not calling to argue. All I wanna know is this, did you know that Walik had another baby?”

“A what?” Imani couldn't believe it. “A who?”

“A baby, by this chick named Lizette. I just had a fight with her the other day because she came outside talkin' a buncha smack about Walik was her baby father and a buncha ra-ra and shit.”

“How old is the baby?”

“About six months.”

“Well hell, don't be mad, welcome her to the club, let her know the rules, get y'all visiting days straight, and keep it movin'. Shit, either go hard or go home. Tell that bitch to play her position.”

“Oh, you tryna be funny?” “Shante, leave me outta that bullshit. I don't give a damn and don't call me no more.” Imani hung up.

“What happened?” Sabrena asked.

“Shante come calling me.”

“Oh, do we need to put up the hands?” Tasha asked. “You wanna go bust her ass?”

“Naw, fuck her!” Imani waved her hand. “But listen.” She stood up and stretched. Reaching for her DKNY peacoat, she went on, “I'll get up with y'all later, I need to go past the hospital to see when I'll be able to start classes.”

“You really going, huh?” Sabrena asked.

“Yeah. It's time for a change.” Imani hugged her girls and kissed them on the cheeks. “Ai'ight, mamas, catch y'all later.”

… … …

“KREE,” IMANI SAID sitting on the edge of the full-sized bed that she shared with Jamal at Starr's house, “have you ever been scared?”

Kree sat on the floor, as Red walked by every five minutes looking in and out of Imani's room to make sure that Imani was the only one seated on the bed and that the door stayed open. Kree shook his head and laughed as Red passed by for the third time. Imani mushed Kree playfully in the back of his neck. “Are you listening to me?”

“What, baby?” He turned to face her. “I'm sorry, what'd you say?”

“I asked have you ever been scared?”

“Hell yeah, of different things, why?”

“Ever been scared that you were going to start something and then somehow not complete it? Or that you were going to make big plans to be something and it not happen?”

“Sometimes. Why?” “Because I feel scared as hell. Like everything is new to me. I'm used to sitting in the living room, being at Sabrena's or Tasha's or Quiana's, or sitting on the stoop smoking weed, going to the club, fighting with Walik, chasing behind Walik, beating Shante's ass 'cause of Walik, and talking shit. I ain't never just chilled. And ever since I came out the hospital, I've been feeling like,
Imani, that niggah could've killed you, yo what you really doing?
”

“So what are you going to do about that?”

“Well…I didn't want to tell you in case I got stupid.”

“What?” Kree didn't know what to expect; he was just praying it had nothing to with her having feelings for Walik. Kree hadn't placed any pressure on Imani, but he wanted to be with her. It was something about her that he loved and was willing to accept, as long as she stepped up to the plate… and then there was Jamal, who had become like his son. He still took him shopping, he picked him up from school, and every Thursday afternoon they went and got their hair braided together. One thing Kree was sure about was if nobody else loved him, he had a little boy who loved him unconditionally. “Yo,” he curled his lips, “don't tell me nothing crazy, Imani.”

“Crazy?” She frowned. “No. I don't think it's crazy.”

“Then what?”

“I enrolled in an X-ray technician program. One where I work at the hospital for four hours during the day and go to school for four hours in the afternoon.”

“Say word.” Kree smiled.

“Word.” Imani blushed. “And I'll be finished in six months. Then I'll be employed at the hospital full time.”