The Fading Trilogy: Fading, Freeing, Falling: Includes 2 BONUS short stories: Hoping and Finding Forever (121 page)

“What are you doing?” I ask when I see Candace walking down the stairs still in her pajamas. “Get that cute, little ass of yours upstairs and change into your running gear. It’s already after seven.”

She walks into the kitchen to where I am and says, “I’m gonna pass,” as she pulls down a coffee mug from the cabinet.

“You passed a couple days ago too. What’s going on?” I ask. Candace loves running, so I don’t get the sudden aversion.

“Nothing,” she says while she stirs the sugar into her coffee and takes it to the living room.

“Not buying it,” I call her out. “What’s up?”

“I can’t tell you,” she says coyly when I sit down next to her as she leans back, propping her legs across my lap.

“You can tell me anything. Now spill it,” I say while I run my hand up her calf and behind her knee. I love these legs.

“Uh uh,” she says with a shake of her head. “You’ll make fun of me.”

“Now I’ve
got
to know,” I respond with a much too curious grin.

“You can’t tease me. I get enough of that from Mark and Jase.”

“I can’t promise you that, babe. Come on. Out with it. Why won’t you run with me anymore?” I question.

“Because I’m scared,” she says and then quickly takes a conveniently long sip of her coffee.

“Scared of what?”

“We’re almost out of creamer.”

“That’s because you use a crap-load of it. Stop trying to distract me. Scared of what?” I ask again.

She takes a moment, and I can tell she’s trying to hide her grin when she admits, “I’m scared I’m gonna break my leg or something.”

“From running?” I ask as a chuckle slips out under my breath.

Nudging me with her foot, she says, trying to defend, “Yes, from running. It could happen.”

“From running?” I repeat. “Candace, you’re not gonna break your leg. That’s ridiculous.”

“Okay, maybe not a break,” she says when she sets her mug down on the table. “But something could happen. Pulled muscle, strained ligament. That would ruin everything. My audition is in a few weeks, and getting this solo could be the difference between having a job after graduation or not.” Although I find her seriousness amusing, she is, in fact, completely serious.

“Okay, so no running. Well, I’m proud of you for walking down the stairs this morning without any assistance. That was a big risk,” I joke with complete mockery, and this time, when she nudges me, I grab her ankle and shift to move between her legs. “You’re putting your tiny feet in a dangerous situation when you nudge me like that,” I say and then kiss her along the ticklish spot on her neck.

She begins to giggle and squirm underneath me when she tries to throw out a firm tone as she says, “Are you threatening me, Ryan Campbell?”

“You’re cute,” I continue to tease as I devour her neck with my mouth, and she can’t seem to manage to get any words out around her fit of laughter. When I pull away, she has a wide smile, but it fades with her laughter. She stares up at me and doesn’t say anything.

“What is it, babe?”

“Nothing,” she says softly.

“Tell me.”

“It’s just . . . You give me butterflies. That’s all.”

Looking down at that pretty face of hers, I tell her, “Fuck butterflies. I feel it all when I’m with you,” before kissing her. She grips my shirt in her hands, and I decide to forego the run to spend the morning making out with her.

I haven’t seen Candace much in the past couple of days now that I’m losing out on my morning runs with her. So when she texts me that one of her lectures got cancelled, I jump on the opportunity to snag some time with her even though I’m hanging out with Gavin.

In Fremont. Do you have enough time to meet me?

Yeah. Where are you?

The Barrel Thief.

In the middle of the day?

The Barrel Thief is a well-known wine and whiskey lounge that works with one of the distributors that Blur deals with. The owner called me this afternoon to swing by and sample some of the new ales he got in, and when Gavin called to hang out, I invited him along.

Think of it as a work thing. ; ) I’m here with Gav.

I’ll be there in 10.

When she walks in and takes off her raincoat, she slides into the booth next to me with a big smile on her face.

“What’s that smile all about?” I ask.

“You two are the only ones in here. Are they even open?”

“Ryan has good connections,” Gavin says, and when I kiss her temple, I tell her, “The owner is a friend of mine. Wanted to show me what one of his distributors was able to get him.”

“Where’s he at?”

“Had to take a call. Here, try this,” I say as I slide the glass over to her.

She takes a sip and says, “That’s surprisingly good. What is it?”

“Maudite. It’s from Chambly. Good, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Figures she would like it,” Gavin says with a smile.

“Why’s that?” Candace asks him, and he responds with, “‘Cause it’s the most expensive.”

She laughs at him, saying, “You’re cheap.”

“With girls? I tend to be,” he jokes with her.

“I feel bad for them,” she shoots back, and he agrees with a chuckle, “Me too.”

I watch their banter, and I’m relieved that what happened at my loft last week isn’t playing into Candace’s attitude towards him.

“Are you drinking your water?” she asks me, and I hand it to her.

“So how long do you have?” I ask.

“About an hour before my studio begins. It’s my three-hour day and then I have to work the late shift tonight, so I won’t be over till after eleven.”

“Okay,” I say as I reach over to hold her hand.

“Hey, Candace,” Gavin says, and the next words out of his mouth come as a shock to me when he tells her, “Look, I feel bad for the shit I said the other day. I’m sorry if I embarrassed you.”

Never have I seen Gavin own up and apologize to anyone. It’s out of character for him, and I appreciate that he would do that.

“Thanks, Gavin,” she says to him, and I can see that she appreciates the gesture as well.

“It was a dick thing to do.”

“Don’t worry about it. Really,” she tells him.

We spend the rest of our time chatting about nothing in particular, and then head out after making plans to stop by Gav’s place in a few days.

When I pull up to Candace’s house to pick her up, I see her roommate’s car sitting in the drive. Candace has been trying to avoid her for the past couple of days after Kimber upset Candace when she told her that she wanted her to move out after graduation. I couldn’t get a clear answer when I asked about the rift between them, but I hated seeing her so upset when she told me about the conversation.

“Hey, babe. You ready?” I ask when she opens the door and steps out into the cold mist.

“Yeah.”

I help her into the car, and when I get in and start driving to Gavin’s place for the party he’s throwing, I ask, “How’s everything with Kimber?”

“She’s been in her room all evening. There’s just nothing to say.”

“You could at least try talking to her,” I suggest, but it doesn’t surprise me when she shuts down the idea.

“It wouldn’t do any good,” she says softly as she looks out the side window. I reach over and pull her hand into my lap, deciding not to mention it anymore.

Pulling up to Gavin’s house, I park along the curb that’s lined with cars. It’s been a while since I’ve been over to his place, but the past couple times we’ve hung out since that awkward day at my loft with Candace, it seems that he’s been trying to make an effort, so I’m here, reciprocating.

I take Candace’s hand in mine as we walk inside. There aren’t a ton of people here yet, and she doesn’t seem to be affected as I start introducing her to a few buddies of mine. I think I’m more uncomfortable than she is, but I know what they’re thinking about her—about what I’m doing with her—and I’m already regretting bringing her here. These people know my past all too well, but for them, my past is still my present because I don’t talk to them all that often, aside from the infrequent run-ins when they drop by the bar.

“It’s about time you guys showed up,” Gavin says when he walks over to us. “Help yourself to whatever is in the kitchen.”

“Hey, Gav,” Candace says.

“Hey, gorgeous. I can’t believe you haven’t left this ass-hat for me yet.”

Smiling at him, she pokes, “If it weren’t for your delicate language, I might consider it.”

“Leave her alone,” I tell him, feigning irritation, before taking her to the kitchen to get a couple beers. But as soon as we walk in there, my gut confirms that this was a bad idea. Gina is standing with a group of women, and the wink she shoots me makes me very nervous. I hand Candace her beer and send Gina a message when I lean down and give Candace a kiss before taking her back into the living room.

I don’t want to say anything because I don’t want to draw any attention and embarrass Candace. Plus, last I heard, Gavin was still fucking her, so I’m just hoping that for Gavin’s sake, she’ll stay away from me.

We take a seat on the couch with one of my old college buddies, and after introducing him to Candace, we begin catching up. I keep my hand on her knee while I talk to my friend, but my mind is elsewhere. Bringing Candace here was more for her than for me. She had expressed to me that she was curious to get to know my friends since I’m now a part of her small circle with Jase and Mark, already knowing so much about the three of them. But these friendships here are superficial. None of them have a clue about Candace, and probably just assume she’s a random chick I’m banging. There was a time that I would hang out with these people on a regular basis, but it’s been a while.

The evening wears on, and eventually Candace leans into me, saying, “I’m gonna go get another drink. Want one?”

“Yeah, babe. Thanks.”

When she heads into the kitchen, Gavin flops down next to me.

“What the fuck is Gina doing here?” I ask under my breath.

“Dude, relax. She’s chill.”

“You still seeing her?”

Cocking his brow at me, he says, “First off, you know I don’t
see
anyone. But I haven’t hooked up with her in a while. Between you and me,” he says when he shifts himself on the couch, “she was only fuckin’ me to get to you.”

“What?”

“Yep. Her roommate told me, and that’s when I backed away from that crazy bitch,” he says with an exaggerated shudder.

“That’s sick,” I tell him and then add, “And you’re trying to tell me she’s chill?”

Gavin starts to respond, but I’m no longer listening when Candace walks back into the room, fuming mad. She doesn’t even stop when she passes me and snaps, “Take me home,” and then heads out the door.

Grabbing her coat, I don’t say shit to Gavin or even look back when I go outside.

“Candace,” I call out, and when she gets to my jeep, she turns, and I see the humiliation all over her face as she yells at me, “Did you sleep with that girl in there? Gina?”

I release a hard breath, hating that I have to do this to her, but she cuts me off before I can even open my mouth.

“Forget it. Just take me home.”

She opens the door and hops in. She’s pissed and rightfully so. I knew it was a mistake to bring her to Gavin’s. Why the hell would she want to see what I’m trying to forget? I don’t know what the fuck Gina said to her, but I hope I never run into her again.

As I start driving back across town, Candace is silent, staring out of her window.

“I didn’t know she was going to be there,” I start to tell her, needing to clear the air because I can’t stand her being upset like this. “When I saw her, I didn’t want to say anything to draw attention.”

She doesn’t speak. She only pulls her one knee up to her chest and turns to face out the window, giving me nothing but the back of her head. I don’t know if she’s crying or not, but the fact that she won’t talk to me hurts.

“Candace, say something.”

But she doesn’t. I know she wants to go home, but I’m selfish and don’t want her to run from me, so I take her to my place. Pulling up to my loft, she quietly says, “Ryan, I really just want to go home.”

I don’t respond when I get out of the car and walk around to open her door. Holding out my hand for her, she doesn’t protest when she takes it and follows me inside and up to my room.