The Fallout (10 page)

Eddy stood up. “Did something happen when you were …
away
?”

I shook my head and saw Lexie was doing the same. She said, “There’s just a lot I’d like to know. What if there’s some medical history I should know about? What if I want to have kids someday and might pass something bad to them?”

“I understand that.” Eddy sat back down. “I do. But you don’t have to do it now.”

She lifted and lowered one shoulder. “Fine, I’ll wait.”

What?
Lexie would never give in so fast. Especially not to Eddy, given their current state of animosity toward each other.

“Really?” Eddy asked.

Lexie nodded. “Really. I’ll wait until things calm down.”

“Cool.” Eddy smiled. “I just don’t think Mom could deal right now.” He stood up and looked at me. “Want to play some basketball?”

I shook my head.

“Lex?”

“No thanks.”

After he left, I leaned over and set a hand on Lexie’s arm. “You okay with waiting?”

“I’m
not
waiting.” Her lip curled. “I’m just tired of him thinking he can tell me what to do.” She sighed. “I really don’t care that much about you guys getting the company. It’s not my thing.” She looked at me. “Don’t tell Eddy that though.”

I leaned back. “You’re still going to go through with it?”

She nodded. “I want to know. Now. I don’t want to wait.” She looked down for a moment as she stroked the cat.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“I think…” She hesitated, then went on. “When we were down there? The last six months or so? I think something was wrong.”

I let out a sharp laugh. “Uh, yeah. That’s an understatement if I’ve ever heard one.”

“No.” She stopped petting Clementine and leaned forward, lowering her voice to a whisper. “With me. I was just so … depressed all the time. Or mad. Or something.”

“Lex, we were all depressed. Or mad.” I smiled. “
Or something
.”

Clementine meowed and stood up, then jumped to the floor and went out the door. Lexie bent her knees and hugged them. “What if it was more than that?”

I shook my head. “It wasn’t. It was the situation.”

“Then why can’t I seem to stop crying? What if it is something? Eli, I need to know. I
have
to know. Will you help me?” Her eyes were shiny with tears.

I looked out the window. The afternoon sky was dark. A lot like the mood in the room. “Eddy wouldn’t agree.”

“I don’t give a crap what he thinks.”

I glanced at her. “I do care. And he wouldn’t like me being involved when he’s so against it.”

Lexie said, “Eddy doesn’t have to know everything you do.”

Didn’t he? I’d missed him for so long. I was so glad to have him back. How could I help Lexie, knowing I’d cause a rift between me and my brother if he found out? I was positive he would never keep anything from me.

Lexie grabbed my arm. “Please.”

I whispered, “No.”

She rolled her eyes and sat up straight against the wall.

I quickly said, “I mean … no.” I shook my head. “Eddy doesn’t have to know everything.” I hoped I was making the right choice.

Lexie breathed out, a look of relief on her face. “Thank you.” She smiled. “Thank you.” She went over to her desk and opened the center drawer, then pulled out a manila folder. She came back to me and held it out. “Here.”

I took it from her. “What’s this?”

“All I know.”

I opened it and pulled out a birth certificate. I quickly scanned it, noting Lexie’s birth date and our parents’ names. I frowned. “Why are they listed as parents? Wouldn’t your biological parents be on there?”

“Believe me, I’ve been online, reading everything about this.” She took a deep breath. “In a closed adoption, the records get sealed by the state of Washington. The judge, or whoever, issues an amended birth certificate with the adopting parents’ names on it.” She pointed. “That’s my official birth certificate. At least, the one Mom and Dad used to get me passports and into school and everything.”

I turned it over. The back was empty. “But how does someone even find their birth parents if the records are sealed?”

Lexie said, “I can get them opened with a court order.”

“How do you do that?”

“I don’t.” She sighed. “Until I’m twenty-one, I need Mom’s consent. But…”

“What?” I leaned back against the window, which was chilly on my back. “Are you still going to ask her?”

“I think there may be another way. I can get non-identifying information right now from the Department of Social and Health Services.” She looked down at the paper.

“What does that mean?” I asked.

Her eyes met mine. “First name, occupation, heritage, education.”

“That could be pretty vague. I mean, suppose your birth father is a white guy named John or Tom or Jim who is … a mechanic or a salesman or a plumber? You know how many men in the country fit any of those descriptions?”

“I know. It’s a long shot. But Eddy
was
right about one thing. I don’t want to make Mom upset.” She looked around. “But what else do I have to do?”

I nodded. “So we could actually investigate without involving Mom. What information do you need for that?”

“Time and place of birth.”

I pointed at her birth certificate. “Which you have, right?”

She nodded. “Just the county.”

“So you know you were born in King County, and—”

“No. I wasn’t.”

“You weren’t born in Seattle?”

She shook her head. The paper in her hand rattled. “Pierce County.”

I thought for a second. “That’s next to King. Really close.”

“But it could be so many towns. What if I need to know the exact town?” She set the paper down on the bed. “I have to ask Mom.”

I said, “I think we can do this without Mom. Without getting the court order.”

Lexie held out her hands, palms up. “How?”

“Quinn’s birthday is coming up and we can get Mom talking about when all of us were born.” I paused. “I mean, I doubt she’s going to really want to go on and on about a birth in the Compound. So we get her thinking about when Eddy and I were born. Or Reese. And then you. Maybe we can find things out.”

Lexie said, “What if she doesn’t know? I spent the first year of my life at the orphanage.”

“Crap, I forgot that.” I met her gaze. “Do you remember anything about that?”

She rolled her eyes. “I was one. I barely remember anything before kindergarten.” She sighed. “Maybe Mom doesn’t even know.”

If Mom couldn’t provide any information, I wasn’t sure what else to do. But listening to Lexie worried me. Maybe the time in the Compound affected her more than I ever thought. Maybe she was clinically depressed at some point, but that was probably due to the circumstances. We all had to be at least borderline depressed.

But the thought of it being inherited had never crossed my mind. There were definitely valid reasons to actually find out more about her birth parents. In all honestly, I would probably feel the same way.

Which was something Eddy didn’t get; he would never understand what we had gone through, how it affected us.

And for about the third time that week, I found myself feeling envious of my brother. Eddy
had
been acting superior to Lexie. Maybe even to me. Like we were visitors in his world and he needed to tell us what to do. So down deep, maybe I felt a little happy that I actually had a secret with our sister that I needed to keep from him.

CHAPTER
TWELVE

Back in my room, I began to pick up some of my clothes off the floor. I grabbed a pair of jeans and my phone fell out of the pocket. I picked it up. I’d forgotten to lock the screen, and my contacts were lit up. I couldn’t help but notice Verity’s name. Without thinking, I pushed the call icon and held the phone up to my ear.

Three rings, a click, and then a “Hello?”

I almost couldn’t speak. She had to say hello again before I said, “Hey. Verity. This is E—” I almost said
Eli
. “EJ. We met at—”

“EJ.”

I wasn’t sure how, but I could tell she was smiling, which made me smile as well. “What are you doing?”

“Homework. Chemistry. Know anything about that?”

“A bit.” I heard paper rustling and then a book slammed.

“That’s enough of that. What are you doing?”

I sank down onto the side of my bed. “Not much.”

“How’s your paper coming?”

“Huh?”

“The paper? The one you had to write about your visit?”

Stupid.
“Oh. I’m … still working on it.” Trying to sound more certain of myself, I added, “I’m not a big fan of papers.”

“Who is?”

I laughed. Apparently, being dishonest
and
talking to a girl my age made me sweat. I wiped off my forehead with the back of my sleeve.

“So.” Verity breathed out. “Did you want something?”

“No, I just … called. I guess.” I scrunched my eyes together and smacked my forehead with my hand.
Could I sound any dumber?

“Want to do something this weekend?”

Did she just ask me out?
“This weekend?”

She laughed a little. “Yeah. A movie or something?”

I swallowed. “I’ll have to see. I mean, my mom is always planning stuff for us all. So … can I check and get back to you?” I knew Mom would never let me out of the house. But explaining the entire story was definitely not an option.

She sighed. “You don’t have to make up excuses. If you don’t want to, just say so.”

I blurted out, “No, I do, I totally do, but I—”

“Okay.” I could tell she was smiling again. “Just checking. I can’t on Saturday. My family has this thing.”

I took the easy way out and lied. “And I’m busy Sunday.”

“Oh.” The disappointment was obvious.

I felt bad. “But maybe I can get out of it.”

“Okay.” She was smiling again. “Text me when you find out.”

I smiled. “I will. Text you.”

“Cool. I’ll be waiting to hear from you.”

“Okay,” I said.

“Okay.” She hung up.

I sat there for a moment, smiling at the phone before I set it down.

What was I thinking? I couldn’t go out on a date like a normal person. Especially not with people out there watching for us.

Watching for
us.

Maybe no one would be watching for just me and a girl.

I sighed.
Not gonna happen.
Even if I had any idea what to do on a date, Mom was going to put an end to the outings after the aquarium fiasco. And if I told her what I saw online, she absolutely would.

I knew I should say something. Say that there were people looking for us, watching.

I stewed over it until dinner, and then went downstairs. I really didn’t want to bring it up in front of everyone, so I decided to tell Eddy about everything later, see what he thought. I slid into the spot between Lex and Eddy and grabbed a piece of garlic bread.

“Grace!” admonished Terese, who bowed her head.

I dropped the bread on my plate. We all bowed our heads.

We’d barely gotten to amen when Mom said, “So, I have an announcement.”

We all waited for her to speak.

She said, “I know what happened with Lucas was an accident and will never happen again, am I right?” She looked pointedly at me and Eddy.

We nodded.

Mom smiled a little. “So, I’ve arranged an outing for all of us. Saturday. The Mariners game.”

“Yes!” said Eddy.

Reese and Lexie looked at each other, and my older sister said, “Seriously? Baseball?”

Mom shrugged. “It’ll be fun.”

Eddy asked, “Do we have the YK suite?”

Mom shook her head. “No, it’s being used, but I rented a smaller one that’ll work better for us. It’ll be private, with just our family, and we can go in the VIP entrance, not have to deal with the general public.”

Her words sounded so elitist, but I understood her meaning. If all went as planned, barely anyone would see us the entire game. A private, secure outing.

“Can I invite Tony?” asked Eddy.

I frowned.

Eddy saw my look and glared back at me. “What? It can be a thank-you for finding Lucas.”

Mom started to shake her head, but Eddy said, “Please?”

“Let me think about it.” The words were barely out of Mom’s mouth when Lexie said, “I can’t believe Quinn’s birthday is almost here.”

I shot her a glance, like,
Seriously, you couldn’t wait five more minutes?
I started dishing some of Gram’s lasagna onto a plate for Lucas.

Mom smiled. “Time goes so fast. Seems like yesterday he was born.”

Lexie ignored me and turned to Mom. “You probably don’t remember anything about when I was born.”

Terese burst out, “But you were adopted. Mom wasn’t there.”

Mom frowned at Terese. “That doesn’t mean I don’t remember it.” She looked at Lexie. “I know we didn’t bring you home until you were one, but I was there when you were born.”

Next to me, Lexie sounded like she had stopped breathing. “You were?”

Mom nodded at Lexie. “Well, maybe I wasn’t there when you came into this world, but I was there the next day.” She smiled. “Your father got a call from the orphanage. The flu had swept through the staff, and they were shorthanded when the call came to go pick up a newborn. Rex asked if I wanted to go…” She breathed deep and I saw her eyes mist over. “I’ll never forget it. I don’t know why, I just wanted to go. I dressed so fast I left the house in my bedroom slippers.” She picked up a napkin and dabbed at the corner of her eye. “It was raining and your dad was driving much too fast. But he was as anxious as I was to get there.”

Lexie shoved her elbow into my side.

“Where?” I asked. “Same hospital Eddy and I were born?”

Mom shook her head. “Gig Harbor.” She went on, talking about when they got there and the nurse handed Lexie over to them. How she had fallen in love with her the instant she saw her. She went on about the next year, and how happy she was when the adoption went through months later, and Lexie was part of the family for good.

But I’d stopped listening and Lexie seemed frozen.