The Fangover (23 page)

“Well, that was the point. Only somehow she figured it out and she tracked me down.” Johnny was rushing forward, right on past Wyatt. “If she shows up here, you haven’t seen me.”

“Who?”

“Bambi.”

Wyatt’s relief was replaced by utter astonishment. “You faked your death to hide from a woman?”

“Yes.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Wyatt was going to kill him. Johnny was alive and now Wyatt wanted him dead. “You put Stella through hell, you asshole!”

“It was unavoidable. She’ll get over it. But now is not the time to chat about it. Now is the time to hide.” Johnny opened the door and slipped into Wyatt’s bedroom.

Where Stella was sleeping naked. Shit. Wyatt moved to follow him when another thump alerted him to a potential problem. He turned around and saw a mortal woman on the bricks of his courtyard cursing and swiping at her hair as she stood up, shaking out her leg like the drop had injured her. Which it probably had, given it was a five-foot drop and she was clearly mortal, since Wyatt could smell her blood.

“Um, can I help you?” he asked, because what the fuck else was he supposed to say?

“You can tell me where that lying deadbeat dad Johnny Malone is.”

Wyatt’s brain froze for a second and he stared through the murky darkness at a very angry-looking blonde woman in the tiniest denim shorts he’d ever seen in his life. That couldn’t be good for her health. “Uh . . . what was the question again?”

She cracked her knuckle and bounded toward him. “Never mind. I know he’s here. I saw him go over the wall. Faking his death, I mean, really? That’s not going to get his sorry ass out of paying child support.”

Wyatt was more than a little confused. Last time he’d checked, vampires couldn’t procreate. So why did this woman think Johnny owed her child support? He wasn’t exactly sure what to say but he did manage, “I think there must be a mistake.”

She stopped in her march on him and snorted. She was a pretty girl, in an overblown sort of way. Lots of bouncing cleavage and swinging hair. “Are you going to stand there and defend him? I don’t think so. Who the hell are you anyway?”

“I’m Wyatt Axelrod.” He stuck his hand out, which she ignored. “Bambi, I presume?”

Her eyes widened. “So you do know. Don’t cover for him. I’ll still find him and it will just piss me off. You don’t want to piss me off.”

No, he suspected he really didn’t want to do that.

But he was saved from having to reply by the ear-piercing scream Stella gave from his bedroom.

For the second time today Wyatt figured that was the sound of the shit hitting the fan.

Chapter Twenty-two

WHEN BAMBI BECOMES THE HUNTER

S
TELLA
was yanked out of a sound sleep when a loud
slam
happened somewhere behind her head. Jerking her eyes open, she half sat up, searching for Wyatt and the source of the noise. The door was closed; the wind must have blown it shut.

But it wasn’t Wyatt staring down at her, holding a finger to his mouth to indicate she should be quiet.

It was her brother.

Stella opened her mouth and let loose with a scream. Oh, my God, she was seeing her dead brother. Did that mean she was dead, too? She patted her legs and bit her lips, drawing blood. She felt alive. But did dead people feel dead? She didn’t know because she’d never been dead.

“Stella,” Johnny groaned, looking and sounding exactly like he had when he was alive. “Not cool. She’s going to—”

Whatever his dead self was going to say was cut off when the door flew open, slamming hard into the wall, and a wild-eyed blonde with a big chest came barreling into the bedroom. Stella blinked, clutching the sheet to her own flat chest, and wondered if she had lost her mind. Because she was starting to think she wasn’t dead. Which meant that Johnny wasn’t dead.

“You’re alive?” she asked him, brain firing a little slowly from sleep and shock.

“Kind of obvious, isn’t it?” was his response.

Wyatt came in behind the blonde and came over to her. “Stella, are you okay?”

She nodded. She wasn’t sure she was okay, really, but it was an automatic response. “Johnny’s alive.”

“So it seems.”

And her live brother was rolling his eyes at the blonde who had walked straight up to him and slapped him cleanly across the face. “You’re going to accept your responsibility,” she told him scathingly.

“Bambi,” Johnny said in a soothing voice.

So this was the infamous Bambi.

“It’s not my responsibility.”

“What the hell is going on here?” Stella asked.

Bambi rounded on her. “Who are you?” She whirled back to Johnny. “You’ve been hiding out with this ginger slut? Did you get her pregnant, too?” Her hand went up to deliver another slap but Johnny caught it this time and held her still.

Ginger slut? Stella felt her mouth fall open. What had she done to deserve that? Besides being naked in Wyatt’s bed at the moment, but she hadn’t been expecting company. Certainly not her dead brother. Who apparently wasn’t dead.

“You faked your death?” she asked Johnny, relief that he was actually alive hitting her full force, followed by pure rage. “You motherfucker.”

“Tell me about it,” was Bambi’s opinion. “But no one asked you, slut.”

“Hey!” Johnny protested. “This is my sister, Stella. Don’t be calling her a slut.”

“Why the hell would you fake your death?” Stella said, picking up the bed pillow and hurling it at him. It bounced off his knee. “You selfish prick! I was devastated.”

“Wait a minute.” Johnny looked at her like he was seeing her for the first time. “Why are you naked in Wyatt’s bed?” He looked over at Wyatt, who was standing in the doorway without a shirt or shoes on. “Did you have sex with my sister? What’s wrong with you? You’re my best friend! I’m barely cold in the grave and you’re banging my sister? God!”

Oh, no, he didn’t. Stella was so furious she couldn’t form words. Her lips just sputtered as she searched the bed for another pillow to throw.

Wyatt moved to his dresser and yanked open a drawer. “Johnny, don’t even go there with me. And you’re changing the subject. The real question is how could you do this to us? Let us think you’re dead? That sucks, man.”

“No, the real question is how he can look himself in the mirror and not throw up in his mouth?” Bambi asked. “He’s refusing to accept responsibility for his child!”

“I told you, it’s not my baby.”

“Are you accusing me of sleeping around?”

“I’m not accusing you of anything. I’m just saying that it can’t be my baby. I’m sterile.”

There was truth to that. Stella had never heard of a vampire impregnating a mortal. Maybe once in like ten million vampires. But that still didn’t explain her brother’s ludicrous need to write a made-up suicide note.

“Oh, if I had a dollar for every man who handed me that line when he didn’t want to wear a condom. I wasn’t born yesterday, you know.”

“I wore a condom,” Johnny protested. “I’m not the father.”

“So take a DNA test. I offered you that option and instead you pretended to be
dead
. That’s fucked-up, Johnny.”

Stella had to agree with Bambi on that one. “What was that pile of ashes?” she asked her brother. “There was a pile of ashes in your apartment.”

He shrugged. “Cigarette ash. Took me all damn week to collect that many. They don’t accumulate as much as you’d think. I spent forty bucks on cigarettes, twice my weekly budget.”

Cigarette ash. Stella shook her head, wishing she wasn’t naked so she could jump out of bed and beat the living shit out of him. “You’re an ass,” she told him.

“Don’t be mean,” he told her. “And I’m not taking a DNA test.”

Stella imagined that he didn’t want to hand over his blood for testing because vampires didn’t exactly have the same genetic makeup as mortals. But no one was going to be doing a full analysis on his blood. They were going to do a paternity test, end of story. This seemed like a ridiculous way to maneuver around that. Or hell, he could have just paid Bambi child support and played daddy, even if the kid clearly wasn’t his.

Anything would have made more sense than letting your loved ones think you were dead.

She was going to kill him.

Wyatt had pulled a T-shirt and pajama pants out of his dresser and he handed them to her, smoothing her hair back off her face. “It’s okay,” he whispered to her. “Remember the positive. Johnny’s alive, after all.”

She wasn’t sure that was such a positive at the moment, but she appreciated the reassurance. Nodding, she said, “Thank you,” and pulled the shirt on over her head.

Wyatt stood up and turned to Johnny. “You owe Stella an apology. What you did was cruel.”

“Sorry.” Johnny didn’t sound particularly sorry. “I didn’t mean to upset you, Stell. I figured Wyatt would tell you last night and you’d think it was funny. Good wake, by the way. I liked the music and there was a good turnout.”

Stella wiggled into the pants under the covers, falling onto her elbow, trying to process her idiot brother’s statements. He was making even less sense than Saxon, and God knew that was saying a lot. “What do you mean, you thought Wyatt would tell me last night?”

If Wyatt knew her brother was alive and he didn’t tell her, well, then the body count was going to rise even higher.

“I was spying on you guys. Well, you weren’t there, but all the band was, and Wyatt spotted me in a doorway. We talked, and I gave him my necklace for safekeeping. It’s my blood, you know, didn’t want that falling into the wrong hands.” He shot a side glance at Bambi, who was clearly the DNA thief he was referring to.

“Wyatt, you saw Johnny?” she asked, astonished.

“No.” Wyatt looked as flabbergasted as she felt. “Though I don’t remember anything, remember? I very well could have had a whole conversation with him and would have no clue.”

“Oh, my God.” Stella finally got herself into the pajama pants and shoved back the covers. “That would explain where you got the necklace from.”

“You’re right.” Wyatt groaned. “This is ridiculous.”

“Johnny, where did you get the necklace?”

“I went back to my place and took it off the kitchen counter. It’s my necklace.”

The kitchen counter. Right where Wyatt had said all along it was. Before the night had gone black and all hell had apparently broken loose.

“So are you going to give me DNA or do I have to serve you in court?” Bambi asked, hands on her hips.

Stella felt a great deal of sympathy for the woman, and figured she should be happy that Johnny couldn’t have children. His idiocy should not be passed on to a future generation.

Wyatt left the room. Stella climbed out of bed, intending to follow him. She was done with this conversation.

But he came back immediately.

Johnny was saying, “No. I’m not doing it. You can’t force my hand, Bambi.”

Stella didn’t see it coming. Johnny clearly didn’t either. Because he didn’t have time to react or block it when Wyatt came behind him and shoved a Q-tip into Johnny’s mouth. There was some gurgling and Johnny’s arm coming up in reaction, but Wyatt had it back out before Johnny could grab his hand.

“Here.” He held the Q-tip out to Bambi. “Do what you need to do.”

“Hey!’ Johnny protested.

“I don’t want to hear it,” Wyatt told him.

Bambi took the offering delicately, holding the swab up between two fingers, and said, “Thanks.”

“Front door is this way.” Wyatt took her through the kitchen and living room to the front door of his apartment.

Bambi followed without a backward glance at Johnny.

“I’m not at all comfortable with that,” Johnny said, frowning.

“I’m not at all comfortable with you at the moment. And if you want to prove it’s not your kid, this is the only way to do that. It’s certainly easier than faking your death.”

Stella went over to Johnny and whacked him in the arm. “How could you do that to me?” Then she burst into tears. Johnny wasn’t dead. He was alive and well and driving her crazy and she was absolutely grateful for that fact.

“Hey, Stell, it’s okay.” Johnny pulled her into his arms.

It felt good to have her big brother hold her. She closed her eyes and breathed in his scent of tobacco and cologne. He’d been a thorn in her side for over a hundred years and she sincerely hoped he would be a thorn for hundreds more. She hugged him tightly.

“If you ever do anything like that again, I will string you up. I’ll never forgive you.”

“So you forgive me now?” Johnny grinned, his charming smile, one that had affected many women over the years. His dark hair fell across his forehead and there was his customary twinkle in his blue eyes. They didn’t look like siblings, but he was her blood.

“I don’t think I forgive you as much as I’m just glad you’re alive.”

“I don’t forgive you,” Wyatt said, coming back into the bedroom. “That was the crappiest thing you’ve ever done, Malone.”

Johnny’s eyes narrowed as he dropped his arms from around her. “I’m not too thrilled with you either, Axelrod. You’ve got a lot of nerve taking advantage of my sister in her time of grief.”

Uh. Stella pictured her hands yanking down Wyatt’s zipper in Johnny’s kitchen. “Johnny, that’s not what happened.” In fact, it might have been the other way around.

“Stella and I are together. This wasn’t about sex. We’re in a relationship and I love her, so get over it.”

He loved her. The sound of that, coming so easily from his lips, made her giddy. Stella hugged her arms to her chest. Her arms in his T-shirt. His pajama pants. Call her a complete dork, but wearing his sleepwear made her happy.

“For real? You love Stella.” Johnny looked incredulous.

“Don’t sound so surprised,” she said. “It is possible for a man to care about me.”

“Of course it is, don’t be a harpy.”

How was she being a harpy?

“Don’t call Stella a harpy.”

Johnny broke out into a grin. “You do love her. Man, I didn’t see that one coming.” He reached out and clapped Wyatt on the shoulder. “That’s awesome. Hey, if my sister has to be in a relationship, I couldn’t ask for anyone better than you to take care of her.”

Wyatt broke into a smile, too. “Thanks, bro. I plan on making her very happy.”

Hello. Stella standing over here. She was glad that they were making up, so to speak, but she would also appreciate it if someone noticed she was still in the room. “Can I say something here?”

They both turned and looked at her expectantly, but then she found she had no idea what she wanted to say.

Johnny said, “Cat got your tongue?”

“I just wanted to say that I love you both.” She did. Her heart suddenly swelled and she realized that she was one lucky vampire. She had family and friends and the man she wanted to spend eternity with.

“Aw,” Johnny said. “I love you, too. Group hug.” He threw his arms around her and Wyatt both, pulling them in close.

Stella wound up with her head buried between two chests since she was a foot shorter than them. Wyatt was laughing. Then Johnny was rubbing his knuckles across her hair like she was ten.

“You still owe me fifty bucks, Johnny. I didn’t forget.”

Johnny grinned at Wyatt. “You still sure you want to be with her? Stella never forgets anything, man.”

“Oh, I’m sure.”

The look he shot her was so hot and loving, that Stella said, “Johnny, you know the way out. Wyatt and I will see you tomorrow night.”

“Gross,” was her brother’s opinion on the matter.

But he left.

Wyatt came over to her and pulled her into his arms and gave her a soft kiss. “You okay?”

“Yeah. That was unexpected. But good. Even if I want to kill him.”

“Agreed.” Wyatt shook his head with a laugh. “Man, what a couple of nights. But hey, it brought us together and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.”

“Me either. Me either.” Stella closed her eyes and lost herself in the kiss of the man she loved.